The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie

Ross

Hey!

嘿！

Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe: Hey!

嘿！

Ross

I'm sorry I'm late, did I miss anything?

很抱歉我迟到了，没错过什么吧？

Phoebe

Joey stuffing 15 Oreos in his mouth. (Joey, with an obvious mouth full, nods yes.)

Joey放了15块奥立奥饼干到嘴里。（乔伊嘴里塞得满满的，点头）

Ross

15? (Joey nods again) Your personal best! (Ross takes an Oreo and Joey mumbles, no!)

15块？你的个人记录呀！（罗斯拿了一块奥利奥，乔伊嘟囔着说不）

Phoebe

Where were you?

你到哪去了？

Ross

Oh, on a date. Yeah, I met this girl on the train going to a museum upstate.

噢，去赴个约会。那女孩是我在去城郊的博物馆的火车上认识的。

(simultaneously)

（同时）

Chandler

Oh, yeah! How did you meet her?

噢是么！你怎么认识她的？

Phoebe

Oh, which museum?

噢，哪个博物馆？

Phoebe

(just Phoebe) No, answer his.

（菲比自己）不用理我，回答他的问题吧。

Ross

Okay, it was just me and her at the back of the train, and I sat near the door, so she'd have to pass by me if she wanted to switch cars. She was totally at my mercy.

好吧，火车后厢就我们两个人。我坐得靠近门一些，那么她如果要转车的话，就得从我边上过。她拿我没办法。

Chandler

Were you so late because you were burring this woman?

你就是因为和她神侃才这么迟的？

Ross

No, I'm getting back down 'cause she lives in Poughkeepsie. She seems really great, but she's like totally great, but she lives two and a half hours away.

不是，我赶紧回来了，因为她住在Poughkeepsie（纽约州东南部）。她看上去真的很不错，但是～她只是似～乎～很不错，但是她住在2个半小时的路程之外。

Chandler

How can she be great if she's from Poughkeepsie? (laughs, as they all look at him) That joke would've killed in Albany.

她都住在Poughkeepsie了怎么还会很棒？（笑，大家都看着他）我是说，到Albany（纽约州首府）就没笑话可讲了。

Joey

Done! I did it! Heh, who's stupid now? (He smiles and has cookie remains all over his teeth.)

好了！我吃下去了！嘿，现在谁才傻？（他笑了，牙齿上全是饼干残渣）

OPENING CREDITS

片头 credits

Chandler

Hey, look at this! (Holding a newspaper) They're lighting the big Christmas tree tonight.

嘿，看这个！（拿着报纸）他们今晚要点亮这棵大圣诞树！

Phoebe

Umm, that paper's two weeks old.

呣，那是两周前的报纸。

Chandler

All right, who keeps leaving old newspapers in the trash?! I really wanted to take Kathy to this, I can't believe I missed it.

好啊，是谁忘记把旧报纸丢到垃圾箱啦？！我本来想带Kathy去看这个的，没想到竟然错过了。

Rachel

Hey, y'know, at least you have somebody to miss that stuff with! I hate being alone this time of year! Next thing you know it'll be Valentine's Day, then my birthday, then bang!---before you know it, they're lighting that damn tree again. Ohh, I want somebody! (hearing this, Gunther moves in) Y'know, I want a man!! (Gunther leaves depressed) I mean, it doesn't even have to be a big relationship, y'know, just like a fling would be great.

嘿，你至少还有人可以和你一起"错过"机会！但我已经孤独整整一年了！接着我又要一个人过情人节、我的生日，然后又是"嗙－－"，在你反应过来之前，又是圣诞节了。噢，我想有人陪！我要个真正的"男人"！！哪怕不是正式的交往，而只是"逢场作戏"一次也好。

Chandler

Really?! I didn't think girls ever just wanted a fling.

真的？！我还以为女孩子从来不想搞"一夜情"的呢！

Rachel

Well, believe me, it's been a long time since I've been flung.

我告诉你，我很早以前就来过"一夜情"了！

Joey

Well, I know what I'm giving you for Christmas.

噢，这下我知道圣诞节可以给你什么了。

Chandler

Y'know what? There's some nice guys at my office, do you want me to set you up?

你知道么？我公司里有许多很棒的小伙子，你要我帮你介绍么？

Rachel

Yeah! Wait a minute, it's been a long time that I've been single. How come you never offered this before?

好啊！等等，我已经单身好久了。你从前为什么没提过这事？

Chandler

Well, I have a girlfriend, I'm-I'm happy. So, I no longer feel the need to go out of my way to stop others from being happy.

我有女朋友了，我很快乐。所以，我不再需要把快乐建筑在他人的痛苦之上了。

Rachel

Okay! No accountants. Oh, and no one from like legal. I don't like guys with boring jobs.

Ok！不要会计师。噢，也不要律师。我不喜欢那些从事闷蛋工作的人。

Chandler

Oh and Ross was like what? A lion tamer?

噢，Ross的工作不闷蛋么？他是驯兽师么？

(Monica enters)

（莫妮卡进来）

All

Hey!

嘿！

Phoebe

What's wrong Mon?

Monica，怎么了？

Monica

Ohh, everybody at the restaurant still hates me.

噢，那个餐馆的所有人都恨我。

Phoebe

Oh.

噢。

Monica

I thought I was making headway, everyone was smiling at me all day, I get off work and I find out that they wrote this (puts on her chef hat) on my chef's hat. (The hat says 'Quit, bitch')

本来我想我的人缘好起来了，今天一整天人们都对我笑。我开始工作，然后发现他们在我的厨师帽上写了这个（戴上她的厨师帽）。（帽子上写着"Quit, bitch"）

Phoebe

Hey, maybe they meant to write, 'Quiet, bitch.'

"安静，婊子"。

Rachel

Hey, honey! What's the matter? (Monica shows her, her hat.) Fine, I was just trying to be nice! Whoa!

嘿，亲爱的！怎么了？（莫妮卡给她看帽子）好了，我只是想礼貌的打个招呼！哇噢！

Monica

I mean I have not been picked on this much since kindergarten and they had to bring in someone from junior high to do the see-saw with me. (Joey laughs and Monica glares at him.)

自从幼儿园后我就没被这么捉弄过了。他们还找人来监视我。（乔伊笑，莫妮卡瞪他）

Joey

Ohhh!

噢！

Monica

I mean they're trying to do everything they can to make me quit, and if there were any other job, I would. But this is something I've been waiting for my whole life.

他们想尽办法来赶我走。如果我对其他什么工作感兴趣的话，我会走。但是这是我一生都想从事的职业。

Rachel

Well, wait a minute, you're the boss! Why don't you just yell at them? Or, fire them?

哦等一下，你才是头儿！为什么你不吼他们，或者解雇他们？

Monica

I would love too, but I can't! I mean I just can't, you know that I'm not good at confrontation.

我是想这么来着，可是我做不到！我总是在对峙中败下阵来。

Chandler

Hey, you know what you can do? I remember reading about this director, I think it was Orson Wells, who at the beginning of the movie would hire somebody, just so he could fire them in front of everybody. Then they would all know, who's boss.

嘿，你知道你该怎么办么？我记得我曾读过一个导演的书－－好像是Orson Wells（"公民凯恩"的导演）－－他会在电影开拍的时候雇一个人，然后在大伙面前解雇他。那样那些人就明白了，谁才是头儿。

Joey

Hey, Mon! I'm not doing anything, why don't you fire me?

嘿，Monica！我正好没事做，要不你开除我？

Monica

That's a good idea! Wait, do you know how to waiter?

好主意！但，你知道怎么当侍应生么？

Joey

Good enough to get fired.

只要会被解雇不就行了？！

Monica

All right, you're hired!

好的，我雇你了！

Joey

Hey! That must be why I got fired last week! Does this Orson Wells guy direct Burger King commercials?

嘿！这就是我上个礼拜被炒的原因了！Orson Wells是不是也掌管Burger King（著名汉堡包连锁店）的生意？

Chandler

(he glares at him for a while) Yes.

（瞪了他一会儿）是的。

Chandler

I say, Drew! Are you seeing anybody right now? (Drew looks at him) Og-ee-op, I'm not asking for me, I'm... I mean... No, I'm-I'm not gay, I'm not asking you out. I'm not-I'm not-I'm not gay!

我说..Drew！你现在有没有人约会？（Drew看着他）哦－呃，我不是想约你，我...我的意思是...我不是同性恋，我不是想跟你约会。我不是.不是同性恋！

Drew

I didn't think you were gay. I do now.

Drew：我从未以为你是同性恋。但现在就拿不准了。

Chandler

See my friend-my friend, Rachel, she wants to be set up.

你看，我的朋友－Rachel，她想我帮她介绍个男孩子。

Drew

Ahh, I just got out of a big relationship, I'm not looking for any thing serious.

Drew：啊，我刚和一个女孩子分手，我现在不想跟谁交往。

Chandler

Oh, y'know what, that might be okay even if it was just kind of a fling, that might be all right with Rachel.

你知道么，哪怕是"逢场作戏"都行，Rachel也说没问题。

Mike

Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Is this, hot Rachel, that you took to the Christmas party, Rachel?

Mike：喔－啊－！是不是那个"火辣Rachel"，你曾带到圣诞晚会上的那个？

Chandler

(to Drew) Oh, by the way, that is her full name.

（对Drew）噢，顺便说一下，那是她的"全名"。

Mike

Oh wow! I'm free for her!

Mike：噢，喔！我有空！

Drew

Oh, wait a second! I didn't say I wasn't free!

Drew：哦，等一下！我又没说我没空！

Mike

Hey, Chandler, why don't we talk this over at the Ranger game tomorrow?

Mike：嘿，Chandler，为什么我们不在明天"游骑兵"队的比赛上谈谈这个事呢？

Drew

Hold on, y'know I just got a box of Cubans, maybe I bring them by your office around uh, five?

Drew：打住！我刚得到一盒古巴雪茄，也许我可以到你那去，跟你一起来一根, 5点怎么样？

Chandler

Oh well, that's uh, a little later than I uh, generally care to stay, but sure!

这个么，我一般都不会留到那个点，但是－－没问题！

Mike

Maybe, before the game we could enjoy some eight year old some small batch Basel Hadens.

Mike：也许比赛前，我们可以去享受两瓶8年的Basel Hadens.

Chandler

Well, I don't really know what that is, but let's!!

呃，虽然我不知道那是什么，但是－－我们去吧！！

Phoebe

Hey! You guys, I'm writing a holiday song for everyone. Do you want to hear it?

嘿！你们几个,我为所有人写了个节日歌。你们想听么？

Monica, Rachel, and Joey: Yes!

好的！

Phoebe

(singing) Happy Chanukah, Monica! May your Christmas be snowy, Joey! Happy New Year, Chandler and Ross. Spin the draddle, Rachel!

（唱）Happy Chanukah, Monica! May your Christmas be snowy, Joey! Happy New Year, Chandler and Ross. Spin the draddle, Rachel!（光明节快乐，Monica！圣诞节会下雪，Joey！Chandler和Ross新年快乐！ Rachel转陀螺！）

Rachel

Pheebs, that's great!

Pheebs，太棒了！

Phoebe

Oh, yay!

噢，没错！

Rachel

But y'know umm, Rachel doesn't rhyme with draddle.

但是..., "Rachel"跟"陀螺"不压韵呀。

Phoebe

I know but it's so hard! Nothing rhymes with your stupid name!

我知道，但是实在没办法！你的垃圾名字实在很难找压韵的词！

Joey

What are you talking about? Lots of things rhyme with Rachel. Bagel. Mail. Jail. Bail. Able. May-pole.

不会呀？"Rachel"可以跟好多词压韵啊。象："Bagel. Mail. Jail. Bail. Able. May-pole."（百吉饼、邮件、监狱、能够、五月柱）

Phoebe

All good, thanks. (to Rachel) Do you maybe have a nickname or like a nickname that's easier to rhyme?

都不错，谢谢。（对瑞秋）你有没有小名或者比较好压韵的称号什么的？

Monica

Didn't your dad used to call you Pumpkin?

你老爸以前不是叫你Pumpkin（南瓜）来着？

Rachel

Oh yeah!

噢，对，没错！

Phoebe

Pumpkin? Yeah. But did he ever call you like, Budolph?

Pumpkin？好吧。他干嘛不叫你Budolph什么的？

Chandler

(entering) Hello, children!

（进来）Hello，孩子们！

All

Hey!

嘿！

Chandler

(to Rachel) Have I got the 50 guys for you!

（对瑞秋）我给你找了50个候选男子！

Rachel

Really?!

真的么？！

Chandler

Oh yeah, I just showed this a picture of you and guys were throwing themselves at me! They're buying me drinks! They're giving me stuff! (to Joey) Knicks tonight?

是的，我只不过是亮了一下你的靓照，结果他们全都蜂拥而至！他们又是请我喝酒，又是送我东西！（对乔伊）今晚看球赛去？

Joey

Sure! Where are the seats?

好！座位在哪儿？

Chandler

Wherever! I've got like 20!

随你便！我有大约20张票！

Rachel

So, will I like any of these guys?

那么，他们中有没有适合我的？

Chandler

Y'know what, I'm gonna uh, play the field just a little more.

你知道的,我让你可以两脚踏好多条船,所以都没拒绝。

Rachel

Chandler!

Chandler！

Chandler

Guys are signing over their 401-K's to me?

他们甚至把401-k（养老基金）受益人都填成我啦！

Phoebe

(shocked) You work with robots!!

（震惊）你和一大堆机器人(不要养老金)工作？！

Chandler

(pause) Yes. (to Rachel) Okay, there's this one guy, Patrick, I think you're gonna like him, he's really nice, he's funny, he's a swimmer.

（停顿）你说的对。（对瑞秋）Ok，其中有个叫Patrick的小伙，我想你应该会喜欢他，他很棒，很风趣，而且还是个游泳健将！

Rachel

Ohh, I like swimmer's bodies!

噢，游泳健将的身材可是一级棒！

Chandler

Yes, and his father invented that magnetic strip on the back of credit cards.

是的，而且他老爸就是发明信用卡背面的识别磁条的。

Rachel

Op, I like credit cards!

噢，我也很喜欢信用卡！

Chandler

See, I'm not bad at this fixing up thing, huh?

你看，这事我办得不错吧？

Rachel

Well, so what does he do?

那他是干什么工作的？

Chandler

Oh, he works in the Fine Foods division.

他在精炼食品部门工作。

Rachel

Your company has a fine foods division?

你公司还做精炼食品？

Chandler

It's a big company, I don't---if you---I...

这可是家大公司，可不是么？如果你？我...

Joey

Now, wait a second! You make food and robots?

等等！你公司又做精炼食品又做机器人？

Phoebe

No! No, the robots just work for them.

不是！不是，机器人是帮忙工作的。

Monica

(getting up) All right, I'm gonna go to work. Does anybody have a problem with that?

（起身）好了，我得上班去了。谁有意见么？

Joey

Yeah, lady, I do! I got a problem with that!

是的，女士，我有意见，我很有意见！

Monica

You want a problem? I'll give you a problem!

你有意见？那我就让你头疼不已！

Joey

Oh, what are you gonna do? You're gonna fire me?

噢，怎么？你要解雇我么？

Monica

You bet your ass, I'm gonna fire you! Thank you.

你个蠢驴，我解雇你了！谢谢。

Ross

Oh, wow! I should get going. I-I got a date tonight.

噢，哇喔！我得走了，我今晚还有个约会。

Chandler

Oh yeah! With who?

是么？跟谁？

Ross

You know that girl I told you about who lives up in Poughkeepsie?

还记得我上次跟你提过的那个住在Poughkeepsie的女孩么？

Chandler

Yeah.

记得。

Ross

Not her. Yeah, this is someone else I meet, and I-I can't decide between the two of them. Y'know the one from Poughkeepsie, even though she's a two hour train ride away, is really pretty, really smart, and-and a lot of fun. But this other girl, well, she lives right uptown. Y'know she's, well she's-she's just as pretty, I guess she's smart, she's not fun.

不是她。是我另外碰到的，而我无法在这两个女孩中取舍。那个住在Poughkeepsie的女孩，虽然得坐两个小时火车才能看到她，但她漂亮、聪明，而且佷风趣。但是另外那个，她就住在城里的住宅区。她也佷漂亮，可能聪明，但是一点也不风趣。

Phoebe

If she's no fun, why do you want to date her at all?

既然她一点也不风趣，那你干嘛还跟她约会？

Ross

Well, I-I want to give her another chance, y'know? She lives so close. And, at the end of the date, the other time, she-she said something that was---if she was kidding was very funny. On the other hand, if she wasn't kidding, she's not fun, she's stupid, and kind of a racist.

我想再给她一个机会，对吧？她住的这么近。而且上次约会的最后，另一次，她曾说了些...如果她是在开玩笑的话，那她就佷风趣。但如果她不是开玩笑的话，她就不风趣，而且愚蠢，还有点种族主义了。

Joey

(entering) Hey!

（进来）嘿！

Ross

Hey!

嘿！

Chandler

Hey, man!

嘿，伙计！

Phoebe

Hey! Ooh, how was your first day working at the restaurant?

嘿！噢，你到餐馆工作的第一天怎么样啊？

Joey

(checks his watch) Damn! (runs out to work)

（看表）糟糕！（跑出去上班）

Joey

(entering from the dining room) Hey.

（从餐厅进来）嘿。

Monica

Hey.

嘿。

Joey

Hey, what happened to your fancy chef's jacket? (sees there's a burn spot on it)

Oh，你最喜欢的主厨服怎么了？（看到上面有个烧焦的痕迹）

Monica

They baked it. I can't take this anymore. I'm gonna call a meeting tonight, I'm gonna fire you tonight.

他们烘烤过。我无法再忍受了。我今晚要开个会，然后把你解雇，杀鸡给猴看。

Joey

You got it! Oh-oh! (He starts patting the burned spot, which just happens to be over her breast.)

对了，就这样。（他开始拍烧焦的地方，正好在她胸部上方）噢～～

Monica

What are you doing?!

你在干什么？！

Joey

It's still a tiny bit on fire there.

那里还有点火。

Monica

Thanks. (Joey's still patting the burn spot) I think you got it!

谢谢！我想够了！

Rachel

(entering) Chandler!! You have the best taste in men!

（进来）Chandler！！你对男人非常有品味！

Chandler

Well, like father, like son.

有其父必有其子。

Rachel

Patrick and I had such a great time last night! I mean I think this could maybe turn into something serious.

Patrick和我昨晚玩的很开心！我想现在可以转入正式交往了。

Chandler

Really?! I-I thought you weren't looking for something serious? I thought you were looking for some kind of a fling.

是么？！你好像不是想要跟谁交往的呀？我记得你只是想"放荡"一下而已。

Rachel

Well, y'know, possibly. (pause) You didn't tell him that, though? Right?

噢，好像是这么回事。（停顿）你没有把这个告诉他吧？对吧？

Chandler

Ummmmmmmm, no.

呣～～～，我已经说了。

Rachel

You told this guy that I was looking for a fling?! You don't tell the guy that!

你告诉他我只是想搞"一夜情"？！你怎能告诉他这个啊！！

Chandler

Why not?! I'd be thrilled if I heard that some hot girl was just looking to get---oh I see.

为什么不能？！如果我知道那个火辣的女孩想要"那个"，我会兴奋得直发抖！噢，我明白了。

Rachel

Oh, between you telling him that I wanted to have a fling and me putting out on the first date---oh, he's so gonna get the wrong idea.

噢，我该怎么办？你告诉他我想"一夜情"，而我想跟他长期交往。他完全会错意了。

Monica

Hey, Joey, could you pass the cheese?

嘿，Joey，能把芝士递过来么？

Joey

Yeah. Listen uh, I'd prefer it if you didn't call me Joey. Since I don't know anyone here, I thought it'd be cool to try out a cool work nickname.

好的。我想你还是别叫我Joey的好。因为这没人认识我，所以我想试试取个酷点的工作昵称。

A Waiter

(entering) Hey, dragon! Here's your tips from Monday and Tuesday. (hands him two envelopes)

（进来）嘿，"龙"！这是你周一和周二的小费。（递给他两个信封）

Joey

(opening an envelope) There's like-there's like 300 bucks in this one!

（打开一个信封）这里面有大约300块！

The Waiter

Yeah, people get pretty generous around the holidays. And it never hurts to wear tight trousers.

是的，人们在节假日里总是佷慷慨的。所以穿紧身裤也是值得的。

Monica

Okay. Could the waiters gather around to hear tonight's specials? Okay, first there is a Chilean Sea Bass prepared with a Mango relish on a bag---Why is nobody writing these down?

OK。侍应生集合一下，我交代一下今晚的特价菜。这样，首先是用芒果佐味的智利黑鲈。为什么没人用笔记一下？

The Waiter

Because we can remember them.

因为我们能记住。

Monica

Because your all gonna make up fake specials and make me cook them like you did the other night?

因为你们这样就能象以前一样，自己捏造假的特价菜，然后让我来弄么？

The Waiter

Well, sure, that too.

哦，没错，也有因为这个原因。

Monica

Okay, forget the specials for a minute. Umm, all right here's the thing, for the last two weeks I have umm, (quietly) tried really hard to create a positive atmosphere...

好吧，先把特价菜放到一边。这事好办，在过去的两周里，我努力试图营造一种友好的气氛...

The Waiter

Can't hear you!

我们听不到！

Monica

(louder) A positive atmosphere! But I-I-I have had it up to here. (She holds her hand over her head as an afterthought.) From now on, it is gonna be my way, or the highway! All right? Does anybody have a problem with that?!! (Joey looks at the money he's holding, and doesn't speak up.) Hey new guy! I said, does anybody have a problem with that?!

（大声）一种友好的气氛！但是我现在对此不抱希望了。从现在开始，要么按我说得去做，要么就滚蛋！有没有问题？有没有人有意见的？！（乔伊看着他手里的钱，没有说话）嘿，新来的！我说，有没有人对此有意见？！

Joey

No ma'am.

没有。

The Waiter

Hey! He has a name, it's Dragon. Do you wanna know your name? Check your hat. (to another waiter) We did the hat right? (The other waiter nods yes.)

嘿！他有名字，他叫"龙"。知道你的名字么？看看你的帽子吧。（对另一个侍应生）我们写在上面了，是吧？（另一个侍应生点头）

COMMERCIAL BREAK

广告时间

Monica

What the hell happened?!

这该死的到底怎么了？！

Joey

I am so-so-so sorry. I was gonna do it! Really! But I was standing there with 327 dollars in one hand and 238 dollars in the other hand, and I was thinking, "Wow! It's been a long time since I had... (tries to do the math in his head, but can't) 327 + 238 dollars!"

太对不起了。我本来打算按计划进行的！真的！但当我这个手拿着327块，另一只手拿着238块站在那的时候，我想，"喔！我好久没拿过～～～（心算中...）327 + 238块了！"

Monica

Joey, we had a deal. That-that's why you're here! I've got to fire you!

Joey，我们有协议的。所以你才会在这！我得解雇你的！

Joey

And I gotta pay rent! Look, how-how about this? You don't fire me, instead I stay here, I gain their trust, and they'll start listening to all the nice things I've been saying about you.

可我要付房租！你看，不如这样？你别解雇我，而是我留在这，取得他们的信任，然后他们就会相信我讲你的好话。

Monica

What kinda things have you been saying?

哦，你跟他们说了我什么好话？

Joey

Well nothing yet, they really hate you and I want to fit in.

目前为止－－没有。他们还很恨你，而我正要融入他们中去。

Phoebe

(singing) Happy, happy Chanukah, Chandler and Monica. Very merry...

（唱）Happy, happy Chanukah, Chandler and Monica. Very merry...（光明节快乐, Chandler 和 Monica. 非常开心...）

Chandler

(interrupting) Oh, y'know, y'know what Pheebs?

（打断）噢，你知道么，Pheebs？

Phoebe

What?

什么？

Chandler

I'm not Jewish, so...

我不是犹太人，所以...

Phoebe

So! Ross doesn't really decorate his tree with floss, but you don't hear him complaining do you? God! (Phoebe hits her guitar which wakes up Ross with a start.)

那又怎么了！Ross也没有用绒毛装饰他的圣诞树，他有没有跟你抱怨过？天！（菲比敲了一下吉他，罗斯被惊醒）

Chandler

Bad dream?

噩梦？

Ross

I wasn't sleeping.

我根本没睡着。

Chandler

Oh yeah, then uh, what was Phoebe's song about?

哦是么？那么Phoebe唱什么来着？

Ross

The one with the cat. I gotta go, I've got another date.

关于小猫什么的。我得走了，赴另外一个约会。

Phoebe

So, did you pick one yet?

那么，你选谁了？

Ross

No, it turns out that the one from uptown was making a joke. But it was a different joke than I thought---it wasn't that funny. So I'm still torn.

没有，现在反而城里的那个女孩开始讲笑话。但是我根本不懂她的笑话。一点也不好玩。我还是两头跑。

Phoebe

Well look, you don't really like the one from uptown and you're too exhausted from dating the one up in Poughkeepsie, so I say you just end them both. Okay? You take a train up to Poughkeepsie and break up with her, and on your way back you break up with uptown. And then by the time you get home tonight, you're done!

你看，你根本不喜欢城里的那个女孩，而且你也为跟住在Poughkeepsie的女孩约会而疲惫不堪，所以跟他们两个都分手。怎么样？你搭上去Poughkeepsie的火车跟那个女孩分手，然后回来的路上跟城里的那个姑娘也分手。然后你就可以回家了，搞定！

Ross

Y'know, you're right. Thank you.

对，你说的对。谢谢。

Phoebe

Umm, well I had a similar problem when I lived in Prague.

呣，我住在Prague（捷克首都）时也碰到同样的问题。

Chandler

Prague?

Prague？

Phoebe

There's sooo much you don't know.

还有很多事你不知道呢！

Rachel

Chandler! Patrick just uh, ended things with me. Did you or did you not tell him that I was looking for a serious relationship?

Chandler！Patrick刚跟我分手了。你后来有没有跟他说我想要的是一段正式的交往？

Chandler

I did! I absolutely did!

我说了！当然说了！

Rachel

You idiot!!

你个白痴！！

Chandler

I'm sure you're right, but why?

我知道你说得对，但是为什么？

Rachel

You don't tell a guy that you're looking for a serious relationship! You don't tell the guy that! Now you scared him away!

你不该告诉他我想要正式的交往的！你不该告诉他的！你看，把他给吓跑了！

Chandler

Oh, man. I'm sorry, I'm so-so sorry.

噢，伙计，我非常遗憾，我非常非常遗憾。

Rachel

Y'know, you should never be allowed to talk to people!

你应该为你的失言被下禁言令！

Chandler

I know! I know!

是的，没错！

Rachel

Oh! See just I'm right back where I started! Aww, this sucks! Being alone, sucks! (She sits down heavily in one of the new chairs)

噢！我又回到了起点！啊，真烂！孤独一个人，烂！（她重重地坐在一把新椅子上）

Chandler

Well, y'know, you're-you're gonna meet somebody! You're a great catch! Y'know when I was telling all those guys about you, I didn't have to lie once. (He sits down on the arm of her chair)

呃，你知道，你总会遇上其他人的！你是个好对象！你知道么，我跟那些男的谈起你的时候，我根本无需美化你。

Rachel

Really?

是么？

Chandler

Yeah! You graduated Magma Ku Laude, right?

是呀！你是从Magma Ku Laude毕业的，是吧？

Rachel

No.

不是。

Chandler

Oh, it doesn't matter. (Kisses her on the top of her head.) Hey, y'know what, I've got two tickets to tonight's Rangers game, you wanna come with me?

噢，别管这个了。（吻她的头顶）嘿你看，我有两张今晚"游骑兵"队的球票，你想跟我一起去么？

Rachel

Cute guys in little shorts? Sure.

穿短裤的小伙子？好啊。

Chandler

Well, actually it's a hockey team, so it's angry Canadians with no teeth.

这是曲棍球比赛，所以只有"愤怒无齿的加拿大人"（曲棍球队名）。

Rachel

Well that sounds fun too. (They hug.)

这也很有趣。谢谢你。（他们拥抱）

(pause)

（停顿）

Chandler

Have you ever been with a woman?

你以前有没有跟女人交往过？

Rachel

What?! Chandler, what is the matter with you?!

什么？！Chandler，你到底怎么了？！

Chandler

So there is no good time to ask that question.

我就知道问这个问题的时机不对。

The Conductor

The next station is Poughkeepsie. Poughkeepsie!

下一站是Poughkeepsie。Poughkeepsie！

The Woman From Poughkeepsie

(outside Ross's window) Ross? Ross! (she knocks on the window) Wake up! Ross! (the train starts moving) Ross! Ross!! Ross!!! Ross!!!!

Poughkeepsie来的姑娘：（在罗斯的窗外）Ross？Ross！醒醒！Ross！（火车开动）Ross！Ross！Ross！！Ross！！！Ross！！！！

Monica

I need more swordfish. (to one of the assistant chefs) Can you get me some more swordfish?

我还要些旗鱼。你能帮我拿些旗鱼么？

Kitchen Worker

I don't speak English.

我不说英语。

Monica

You did a minute ago!

可你才说过！

Kitchen Worker

Well, I don't know what to tell ya!

我只是不知道跟你说什么而已！

Monica

Fine!

好吧！

(She goes into the freezer to get it herself, and leaves the door open. The waiter from earlier comes by and closes the door.)

（她走进冷冻室自己去拿，门开着。刚才那个侍应生走过来关上了门）

Monica

Okay! Very funny! Somebody let me out please?! Come on, I'm cold! (She spills something.) And covered in marinara sauce! Come on! Let me out! (the door opens)

好了！够了！谁来开下门？！快点，我很冷！（她打翻了东西）现在又被泼了一身杂菜酱！快点让我出去！（门开了）

The Waiter

You found that handle, did ya?

你终于找到了把手，是么？

Monica

That's not funny.

这一点也不好笑。

The Waiter

Well that's not true.

谁说不好笑。

Monica

(starting to cry) I'm a good person. And I'm a good chef, and I don't deserve to have marinara sauce all over me! Y'know what, if you want me to quit this bad, then all you have to do is...

（开始哭）我是个好人。而且我也是个好厨师，我本不该被杂菜酱泼了全身的！！你知道么，如果你们想我辞职，你们只要...

Joey

(interrupting) Hey! Chef Geller! Y'know that little speech you made the other day? Well I got a problem with it!

（打断）嘿，Geller主厨！你还记得你那天的演讲么？我不同意！

Monica

You do?

你不同意？

Joey

You bet I do! I just ah, wasn't listening then, that's all.

当然！我只是根本没在听，就是这样。

Monica

Well if you want a problem? I'll give you a problem!

如果你想提出不同的意见，那我就让你头疼不已！

Joey

What are you gonna do? You're gonna fire me?

你想干什么？解雇我么？

Monica

You bet your ass I'm gonna fire you! Get out of my kitchen! Get out!! (Joey leaves) All right! Anybody else got a problem? How 'bout you Chuckles? You think this is funny now?

你这蠢蛋，我正要解雇你！滚出我的厨房，滚出去！（乔伊离开）好了！谁还有意见？你呢，"偷笑先生"？你现在还觉得可笑么？

The Waiter

No.

不。

Monica

How about if I dance around all covered in sauce? Huh? You think it's funny now?

那么我一身杂菜酱来跳舞？呣？现在可笑么？

The Waiter

No, it's really good.

不，那很好。

Monica

Good! Now, take those salads to table 4, (to the kitchen worker from earlier) And you! Get the swordfish! (to another assistant chef) And you! Get a haircut!

这还差不多！你，把这些色拉拿给4号台，（对刚才的厨房工人）你！去拿旗鱼！（对另一个助理厨师）还有你！去理个发，先！

The Conductor

Last stop, Montreal. This stop is Montreal.

终点站Montreal（加拿大境内）。Montreal到站了。

Ross

(waking up) What? (notices that there is now a beautiful woman sitting next to him)

（醒来）什么？（注意到现在有一个漂亮女人坐在他旁边）

Woman On Train

I made a bet with myself that you have beautiful eyes. Now that I see them, I win.

我跟自己打赌你的眼睛肯定佷漂亮，现在我看到了，我赢了。

Ross

What?

什么？

Woman On Train

We're at my stop. But would you like to have coffee?

我们到站了。想一起喝杯咖啡么？

Ross

(now fully awake) Are we really in Montreal?!

（完全清醒）我们真的到了Montreal？！

Woman On Train

Yes we are. So, coffee?

是的。那么，你要不要一起去？

Ross

Coffee sounds great. (They get up) Wait, so, so you live in Montreal?

好啊！（他们起身）等等，你住在Montreal？

Woman On Train

Oh, no. But it's just a two hour ferry ride to Nova Scotia.

噢，不是。但是离Nova Scotia有两个钟头的船程。

Joey

Well I guess I should've thought about my wife and kids before I talked back to chef Geller!

噢，我想刚才我对主厨Geller说话之前，应当想想我的妻子和孩子的。

Monica

Thanks.

多谢了。

Joey

Yep! Looks like it's gonna be a leeeeean Christmas at the Dragon house this year.

没事！看来今年我们全家只能过个艰苦的圣诞节了。

Monica

Enough!

够了！

Joey

(leaving) Lean-lean-lean!

（离开）穷啊－穷啊－穷啊！

CLOSING CREDITS

片尾字幕

Phoebe

(singing) "Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. They haven't heard it, so don't try and sing along. No, don't sing along.

（唱）"来到储藏室，坐在圣诞老人的腿上。告诉他给我的朋友们带去一些废话。他说，你要把它们都写成歌儿。他们都还没听过的歌儿，但请别太晚唱。不会太晚来唱。

Monica, Moncia, have a happy Chanukah. Saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross. And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy! And Rachel and Chandler, have err-umm-glander!!"

Monica, Moncia，光明节快乐！看见圣诞老人，他和Ross打招呼。请告诉Joey，圣诞节要下雪。还有Rachel和Chandler，有呃...鼻膈炎！！"

Happy holidays, everybody!

大家节日快乐！

END

结束