The One With The 'Cuffs

Joey

Hey!! We are so in luck! Treeger said that we could have all this cool stuff from the basement. Wait right there.

嘿!! 看我们运气多好! 特雷盖说地下室的东西我们随便拿. 等一下.

(Goes back into the hall)

（走回走廊）

Chandler

Oh no-no-no, I'm, I'm paddling away!

噢,不-不-不,我要划向远方!

Joey

(Returning carrying a couple of rusted lawn chairs) Huh?!

（拿着几把生锈的草坪椅回来）哈?!

Chandler

Wow! Really?! We get all this rusty crap for free?!

哇！真的？我们免费得到这些生锈的废物？

Joey

Uh-huh. This and a bunch of bubble wrap. And, some of it is not even popped!

嗯。这些还有一堆气泡膜。而且有些气泡还没破！

(They both sit down at the table and the chick and the duck enter from Joey's bedroom.)

（两人在桌旁坐下，小鸡和小鸭从乔伊的卧室走出来）

Chandler

Could we be more white trash?

我们还能更白垃圾一点吗？

OPENING CREDITS

片头 credits

Monica

(Entering from her bedroom) How desperate am I?

（从卧室走出来）我有多绝望？

Rachel

Oh! Good thing Chandler's not here, he always wins at this game.

哦！幸好钱德不在这儿，他总是最绝望的。

Monica

I just told my Mom I'd cater a party for her.

我刚刚告诉我妈，我要帮她的晚会准备食物。

Phoebe

How come?

为什么要这样做？

Monica

Because I need the money, and I thought that it'd be a great way to get rid of that last little schmidgen of self-respect.

因为我需要钱，而且我认为这是摆脱那最后一点点自尊的好办法。

Ross

Come on, I think this is a good thing. I don't think Mom would've hired you if she didn't think you were good at what you do.

这是一件好事。老妈若不是觉得你厨艺精湛，才不会雇你呢。

Monica

You don't have to stick up for her. She can't hear you.

你犯不着替她说好话，她又听不见。

Rachel

(entering) Hey! Umm, do you guys have any juice?

（进来）嘿！呃，你们有果汁吗？

Joey

Just pickle.

只有泡菜。

Chandler

Hey uh, Rach, funny story. I ah, bumped into Joanna on the street yesterday.

嘿，瑞秋，有趣的事。我呃，昨天在街上碰见乔安娜了。

Rachel

My boss, Joanna? Wow, that must've been awkward.

我的老板乔安娜？哇，那一定很尴尬。

Chandler

Well, no, actually she uh, asked me if I wanted to get a drink.

不，实际上她呃，问我是否想一起喝一杯。

Rachel

(laughs) You ah, you didn't say 'Yes' to that did you?

（笑）你呃，你没答应她吧？

Chandler

(laughs) No. No!

（笑）没有，没有！

Joanna

(Coming out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel) Hello, Rachel. (She goes into Chandler's bedroom)

（只围着浴巾从浴室出来）你好，瑞秋。（她走进钱德勒的卧室）

Chandler

Well, not at first.

呃，起初我没答应。

Rachel

What is she doing here?

她在这里做什么？

(Joey makes a sound like a creaking bed.)

（乔伊发出床吱嘎作响的声音）

Rachel

I don't understand! Last time you went out with her you said she was a 'big, dull dud.'

我不能理解！上次你跟她约会以后，你说她是个'反应迟钝的笨女人'。

Chandler

Well, I think I judged her too quickly, and this time we were able to take the relationship to the next level.

好吧，我过早对她下结论了，现在我跟她可以做进一步的发展。

(Joey creaks louder)

（乔伊吱嘎声更响了）

Rachel

Well, last time I almost got fired. You must end it, you must end it now!

上次我差点被开除。你必须跟她绝交，立刻！

Chandler

Oh, come on! It's not like this is an everyday occurrence for me! I mean usually I'm pretty much just in there by myself.

得了吧！我又不是天天有艳遇！通常我都是独处的。

(Joey makes a sound imitating one person making a bed creak and Chandler turns and glares at him.)

（乔伊模仿一个人弄出床吱嘎声，钱德勒转身瞪他）

Rachel

Chandler!! (He turns around quickly) Promise me, you will end it.

钱德!!（他快速转回来）答应我，跟她断交。

Chandler

Okay, I promise, I'll end it.

好吧，我答应。

Rachel

Thank you.

谢谢。

Chandler

I hope you know what I'm giving up for ya, because she's not just the boss in your office, if you know what I mean.

希望你知道，我为了你牺牲巨大。她可不光是你的老板而已，了解我的意思吧。

Joey

Yeah-eh-eah! (Rachel glares at him) Oh-oh, sorry, I-I knew what he meant.

耶！（瑞秋瞪他）哦哦，抱歉，我只是了解他的意思。

Mrs. Geller

(entering) How's the hired help?

（进来）雇来的帮手怎么样了？

Monica

Doing great, the quiches are coming along.

非常好，乳蛋饼已经快好了。

Mrs. Geller

What's this? Blue nail polish?

这是什么？蓝色指甲油？

Monica

Yeah, I thought it was cute.

是啊，我认为它很可爱。

Mrs. Geller

Ahh, that's what your Grandmother's hands looked like when we found her.

啊，我们发现你祖母时，她的手就这样。

Monica

Let me ask you a question.

我想问你一个问题。

Mrs. Geller

Hmm.

嗯。

Monica

Why did you hire me?

为什么你要雇我？

Mrs. Geller

Oh, well Richard raved about the food at his party, of course you were sleeping with him. Then I heard the food at that lesbian wedding was very nice, I assume you weren't sleeping with anybody there. Though, at least that would be something. (Leaves)

哦，理查德办晚会那次，说你的食物非常棒，当然那时你和他睡过。而且我听说在那个女同性恋的婚礼上你的食物也大受欢迎，我假定你没和那里的什么人睡过。（离开）

Monica

(to Phoebe) Oh my God! Did you hear that? She hired me because she thinks I'm good.

（对菲比）天啊！你听到了吗？她雇我是因为，她认为我很优秀。

Phoebe

Okay, I didn't hear that.

好吧，我倒没听见。

Monica

Oh yeah, she didn't hire me out of pity, it wasn't so she could pick on me in front of her friends, she actually thinks I'm good.

她不是可怜我才雇我的，也不是她想在她的朋友前挑剔我，而是她真的认为我很优秀。

Phoebe

Wow! And hey, it's cool if you're a lesbian! (Gives her a thumbs up)

哇！嘿，如果你是同性恋就太酷了！（竖起大拇指）

The Salesman

(Entering before Joey can say anything) Good afternoon, are you the decision maker of the house?

（乔伊还没来得及说话就进来）下午好，你是一家之主吗？

Joey

Uhhhh. (He's not sure)

啊～（不确定）

The Salesman

Do you ah, currently own a set of encyclopedias?

你呃，目前有大百科全书吗？

Joey

No! No. But ah, try the classifieds, people sell everything in there.

没有！没有。但是呃，你可以查查分类广告，卖什么的都有。

The Salesman

Actually, I'm not buying. I'm selling. Let me ask you one question. Do your friends ever have a conversation and you just nod along even though you're not really sure what they're talking about?

实际上我不是来买的，我是来卖的。我想问你一个问题。朋友们聊天的时候，你是否经常频频点头，却不太明白他们在说什么？

(We go into a flashback sequence with Joey remembering some of those times.)

（我们进入乔伊回忆那些时刻的闪回）

Ross

...I'm telling you it's totally unconstitutional.

...我告诉你这是违反宪法的。

Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Rachel: Oh yeah, I totally agree.

没错，我完全同意。

(Joey just nods his head.)

（乔伊只是点头）

Monica

...I think he deserves a Nobel Prize. (Joey starts to nod 'Yes.')

...我认为他应获诺贝尔奖。（乔伊开始点头）

All

Nooo!! (Joey quickly stops nodding his head.)

不!!（乔伊迅速停止点头）

Chandler

...it was like the Algonquin kids table. (They all laugh, but Joey only laughs not to be left out.)

...这就像阿尔冈琴族的小孩儿桌一样。（大家都笑，乔伊为了不落单也笑）

The Salesman

(Interrupting the flashback) Excuse me, I'm sorry, you haven't said anything for about two and a half minutes, are you at all interested?

（打断闪回）对不起，抱歉，这两分半钟你什么也没有说，你有兴趣吗？

Joey

Yeah-well-yeah! Yeah-oh-yeah. Come on in.

耶-嗯-耶！耶-哦-耶。进来。

Phoebe

That's weird.

这很神秘。

Monica

What?

什么？

Phoebe

Your nails.

你的指甲。

Monica

Oh, I know, I never wear fake ones. I just did it so my Mom wouldn't give me grief about me biting them.

哦，我知道，我从不戴假指甲的。我这么做只是为了不让我妈抱怨我咬指甲。

Phoebe

Oh, no, I meant that it's weird that you only have nine now.

哦，不，我的意思是现在你只戴着九个。

Monica

(Looks at her nails) Oh my God. Wait a minute, I had them put... (realises) Oh my God! It's in the quiche! Oh My God!

（看指甲）天啊！等一下，刚才还是十个……（意识到）天啊！它在乳蛋饼里！天啊！

Phoebe

Okay, don't panic. I'm gonna go to the store, I'm gonna get you another set of nails, no one's gonna know, and you're gonna look great. (She runs over to get her coat.) Oh! Oh, it's 'cause they're gonna eat---that's the problem.

别慌。我现在就去商店，我给你带一套新的回来，没人会知道，你看起来依旧完美。（跑过去拿外套）哦！哦，但是他们会吃掉它的，这才是问题。

Mrs. Geller

(entering) (to Monica) Honey, don't bite your nails.

（进来）（对莫妮卡）亲爱的，不要咬你的指甲。

Monica

Okay ah, please don't freak out. Umm, but ah, there's a blue fingernail in one of the quiche cups, and there's no way to know which one.

好吧，别惊慌。呃，但是，有个乳蛋饼杯里有只我的蓝指甲，谁都不知道是哪一个杯子。

Phoebe

And! Whoever finds it wins the prize!

而且！发现指甲的人可以赢大奖！

Mrs. Geller

(laughs) I'm not freaking out.

（笑）我没惊慌。

Monica

Then why are you laughing?

那你为什么笑？

Mrs. Geller

It's nothing, it's just that now your Father owes me five dollars.

没什么，只是这样一来你父亲输给我5美元。

Monica

What? You bet I'd lose a nail?

什么？你打赌我会掉一个指甲吗？

Mrs. Geller

Oh no, don't be silly. I just bet I'd need these. (Opens the freezer to reveal...)

哦不，别傻了。我打赌我会需要这些。（打开冰箱露出...）

Monica

Frozen lasagnas?

冰冻宽面条？

Mrs. Geller

Um-hmm.

嗯。

Monica

You bet that I'd screw up?! So all that stuff about hiring me because I was good was...

你笃信我会搞砸？那么"你雇我是因为我很优秀"都是假的咯...

Mrs. Geller

No-no-no, that was all true. This was just in case you pulled a Monica.

不-不-不，那是真的。这只是以防你"很莫尼卡"。

Monica

You promised Dr. Weinburg, you'd never use that phrase.

你答应过外恩博格教授，你不再使用这个词了。

Mrs. Geller

Oh honey, come on, have a sense of humour, you've never been able to laugh at yourself.

亲爱的，来吧，幽默一点，你从未有自嘲的风度。

Monica

(laughs) That's right. My Mom doesn't have any faith in me! Oh, that's hilarious! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

（笑）没错。我妈从没信任过我！好好笑！哈-哈-哈-哈。

Phoebe

I don't get it.

我不觉得好笑。

Mrs. Geller

No, I have faith...

不，我信任你...

Monica

(interrupting) No! You have lasagnas! (Storms out and an awkward silence follows.)

（打断）不！你只是有烤宽面条！（冲出去，随后尴尬的沉默）

Oven

Ding!

叮！

Phoebe

Op, the ruined quiches are ready.

哦，报废的乳蛋饼烤好了。

Chandler

It just doesn't...feel like we're breaking up.

就是没有……分手的感觉。

Joanna

No, we are. I'm sad.

不，我们分手了。我很忧伤。

Chandler

Okay.

好吧。

(They start kissing again, but are interrupted by the phone.)

（两人又开始亲吻，但被电话打断）

Joanna

(answering the phone) Yes. (listens) Uh, can't you wait until tomorrow? (listens) All right. (hangs up) Unbelievable!!

（接电话）是的。（听）呃，不能等到明天吗？（听）好吧。（挂断）难以置信!!

Chandler

Thanks.

谢谢。

Joanna

No, no, that was my boss. I have to go.

不，不，是我的老板。我不得不走。

Chandler

Okay. (Starts to button up his shirt)

好。（开始扣衬衫）

Joanna

What are you doing?

你做什么？

Chandler

I'm getting dressed.

我穿衣服。

Joanna

Why?

为什么？

Chandler

When I walk outside naked people throw garbage at me.

如果我光溜溜走出去，会有人朝我扔垃圾。

Joanna

Wait. I wanna show you something.

等一下。我想给你看些东西。

Chandler

What is it?

是什么？

Joanna

Just a little gag gift somebody gave me. (She's holding a pair of handcuffs) Put your hands together.

别人给我的一个让人兴奋的小礼物。（她拿着一副手铐）把手并拢。

Chandler

Ah-ha, you're not the boss of me. (She kisses him) Yeah, you are! (She handcuffs him to the chair) Ooh, saucy.

啊哈，你不是我的老板。（她吻他）你是！（她把他铐在椅子上）哦，好调皮。

Joanna

(kisses him) I'll be back in ten minutes. (Starts to leave)

（吻他）10分钟后我就回来。（开始离开）

Chandler

You are, you're gonna leave me like this?

你就这样离开我？

Joanna

Knowing you're here, waiting for me I think it's kinda exciting.

知道你就乖乖地坐在这里等我，这真让人有些兴奋。

Chandler

Okay. But if you don't come back soon, (She leaves and closes the door) there's pretty much nothing I can do about it!

好吧。但是如果你不能马上回来，（她离开并关上门）我可也无计可施！

Joanna

(locking her door) Oh.

（锁门）哦。

Sophie

Hi! I brought you back a macaroon!

嘿！我给你带了蛋白杏仁饼干！

Joanna

Oh great! I'll keep it in my butt with your nose. (She grabs the cookie and walks out.)

太好了！这样我就可以用它撞你的鼻子了。（她抓过饼干走了出去）

Rachel

That's weird, she locked the door.

奇怪，她竟然锁门。

Sophie

Y'know why? She's got the Christmas bonus list in there. I saw her working on it this morning.

你知道为什么吗？圣诞节的奖金清单就在里面。我早晨看见她在写。

Rachel

Okay, swear you won't tell, but when Mark left he gave me a key to Joanna's office. Do you wanna see the list?

好吧，你发誓不告诉别人。马克离开前给了我一把乔安娜办公室的钥匙。你想看清单吗？

Sophie

Yeah!

耶！

(Rachel unlocks and opens the door to reveal a half-naked Chandler handcuffed to the chair. They both gasp and Chandler stares at them in shock and surprise.)

（瑞秋打开门，露出半裸的钱德勒被铐在椅子上。两人倒吸一口气，钱德勒震惊地盯着他们）

Chandler

Hi! (to Sophie) How are you?

嗨！（对索菲）你好吗？

(Rachel and Sophie both back out and close the door without saying anything.)

（瑞秋和索菲一句话也没说，退出去关上门）

COMMERCIAL BREAK

广告时间

Chandler

Hello, Joanna...(Realises he doesn't know her last name)...'s office.

你好，乔安娜……（意识到不知道她的姓）……的办公室。

Joanna

(on speaker phone) I'm really sorry but I may be a little while longer.

（免提电话）真的很抱歉，我可能要多呆一小会儿。

Chandler

How little?!

多小？

Joanna

A couple of hours, I feel awful.

几个小时，这太可怕了。

Chandler

Look, this isn't funny! You get back here right now!

看，这一点都不有趣！你要马上回来！

Joanna

I can't!!

我不能!!

Chandler

Why not?!

为什么?!

Joanna

I'm in my boss's car!

我正在我老板的车里！

Chandler

What?!

什么?!

Joanna

Uh-oh, tunnel. (The phone gets cut off)

噢，进隧道了。（电话断线）

(Chandler gets an idea)

（钱德勒有了个主意）

Rachel

(answering it) (angrily) What?!

（接起，生气地）什么事？！

Chandler

(in a serious, businesslike tone) Rachel, could I see you for a moment?

（严肃、公事公办的语气）瑞秋，我能见你一下吗？

(Rachel goes into talk to Chandler.)

（瑞秋进去和钱德勒说话）

Chandler

Okay, here's the situation. The keys to the cuffs are on the back of the door. Could you be a doll and grab them and scoot on over and unlock me? And on a totally different subject, that is a lovely pantsuit.

手铐的钥匙在门的后面。你能乖乖把钥匙拿来给我开锁吗？顺便说一下，你的长裤套装很可爱。

Rachel

You promised you would break up with her!

你发誓你和她分手了！

Chandler

I did break up with her! She just took it really, really well!

我是和她分手了！她只是感觉特别、特别好！

Rachel

And the fact that you were jeopardising my career never entered your mind?!

事实上你已经使我的职业生涯面临危险，难道你从未意识到吗？！

Chandler

It did enter my mind! But then something happened that made it, shoot right out.

我已经意识到了！但是情况有变，把它赶走了。

Rachel

Y'know what Chandler, you got yourself into those cuffs, you get yourself out of them.

你知道吗钱德，你作茧自缚，你自己想办法脱身。

Chandler

No-no-no-no-no-no-no!! I can't get myself right out of them! You must have me confused with the Amazing Chandler!! Come on, you have to unlock me, she could be gone for hours, and I'm cold, and (Stops and looks up the skirt on a statue behind Joanna's desk.)

不-不-不-不-不-不-不!! 我开不了手铐！你当我有特异功能吗？快点，你必须帮我，她要好几个小时才能回来，我很冷，而且（停下来，看乔安娜桌后一座雕像的裙子下面）

Rachel

Oh, Chandler!! All right, this is it! (Grabs the key) You never see Joanna again!

哦，钱德!! 好吧，我帮你！（抓起钥匙）你不能再见乔安娜了！

Chandler

Never!

不见！

Rachel

You never come into this office again!

你也不能再进她的办公室了！

Chandler

Fine!

不进！

Rachel

You give me back my Walkman!

你要把我的随身听还给我！

Chandler

I---never borrowed your Walkman.

我……从未借过你的随身听。

Rachel

Well, then I lost it. You buy me one!

那是我搞丢了。你买一个给我！

Chandler

You got it! Here we go! Come on! This is great! (Rachel goes over and unlocks the handcuffs) Ahhh! (He starts rubbing his wrist)

成交！我们现在就离开！快！这感觉太好了！（瑞秋走过去打开手铐）啊！（他开始揉手腕）

Rachel

Does it hurt?

很疼？

Chandler

No, I just always see guys doing this when they get handcuffs taken off them. (He runs over to where his pants are hanging) Hello sweet pants!

不，我经常看见人们大松一口气，当他们的手铐被打开以后。（跑到挂裤子的地方）我可爱的裤子！

Rachel

Wait a minute! What are you gonna tell Joanna?

等一下！你打算怎么跟乔安娜交代？

Chandler

About what?

交代什么？

Rachel

When she sees that you're gone, she's gonna know that I let you out, and that I was in here, and I'm gonna get fired!

当她看见你不在了，她就知道是我放你走的，她就知道我进来过，我会被炒鱿鱼的！

Chandler

I'll make something up! I'm good at lying, I actually did borrow your Walkman!

我会捏造一个故事！我很擅长说谎，实际上我借过你的随身听！

Rachel

No, there's nothing to make up, she's gonna know that I have a key to her office, I've got to get you locked up back the way you were! (She tries to drag him over to the chair, but Chandler stops her.)

你无法自圆其说，她会知道是我放你走的，我必须把你重新铐回去！（她试图把他拖向椅子，但钱德勒阻止她）

Chandler

Oh-ho-ho, I don't think so!

哦-哦-哦，这不行！

(He starts to put his pants on, but Rachel manages to drag him to the chair. When they get to the chair, Chandler drops his pants and knocks the chair away. Rachel then backs him up and locks him to the top drawer of a filing cabinet.)

（他开始穿裤子，但瑞秋设法把他拖到椅子旁。到了椅子旁，钱德勒脱下裤子并把椅子踢开。瑞秋然后把他向后推，把他铐在文件柜最上面的抽屉上）

Chandler

Well, this is much better.

好吧，这会好一点。

The Salesman

So, here's somebody interesting, Joey. What do you know about Van Gogh?

有趣儿的东西来了，乔伊。你知道梵高吗？

Joey

He cut off his ear.

他割了自己的耳朵。

The Salesman

And?

还有？

Joey

I'm out.

没了。

The Salesman

He painted that. (Points to one of his paintings in the book)

他画了这个。（指着书里的一幅画）

Joey

Wow! That's pretty nice. I thought he cut off his ear 'cause he sucked. What else you got in there?

哇！画得真好。我还认为他太蠢所以割掉自己耳朵。书上还有什么？

The Salesman

Let's see, ahhh... Where does the Pope live?

让我们看看，呃……教皇住在哪里？

Joey

In the woods. No wait-wait, that's the joke answer.

森林里。不，等等，这是笑话里的答案。

The Salesman

Actually its, Vatican City. Now ahh, what do you know about vulcanised rubber?

答案是梵蒂冈。那么呃，你知道加硫橡胶吗？

Joey

Spock's birth control.

司迫克的节育器。

The Salesman

(laughs) You need these books.

（笑）你需要这套书。

Phoebe

Hey!

嘿！

Monica

Hi.

嗨。

Phoebe

This used to be your room? (She nods 'Yes') Wow! You must've been in really good shape as a kid.

这里以前是你的闺房？（她点头）哇！你童年时身材一定很好。

Monica

Ohh, I'm such an idiot. I can't believe I actually thought she could change.

哦，我太白痴了。无法相信，我竟然真以为她会转变。

Phoebe

Well, who cares what your Mom thinks? So you pulled a Monica.

其实，谁关心你妈妈怎么想？你无非就是"很莫尼卡"。

Monica

Oh good, I'm glad that's catching on.

很好，我很高兴你也这么说。

Phoebe

No but, why does that have to be a bad thing. Just change what it means. Y'know? Go down there and prove your Mother wrong. Finish the job you were hired to do, and we'll call that pulling a Monica.

但是，这不一定是贬义嘛。我们可以当它是褒义。知道吗？下楼去，证明你妈妈错了。把你该干的活做好，我们把那叫做"很莫尼卡"。

Monica

What?

什么？

Phoebe

Okay, umm, if a kid gets straight A's, his parents would say, "Yeah, he pulled a Monica." Y'know? Or a fireman saves a baby, and they go, "Yeah I know, he pulled a Monica." Or someone hits a homerun and the announcer says, "Yeah, that one's outta here." Though some things don't change.

好吧，如果一个孩子得到了成绩优秀的A，他的父母就会说，"耶，他'很莫尼卡'"。知道吗？或者一个消防队员救了一个孩子，人们就会说"耶，他'很莫尼卡'"，或者当有人打了一个全垒打，广播员就说"太棒了。"当然他还是没变说法。

Monica

(getting up) All right, I'll go down there. But, I'm not gonna serve the lasagna. I'm gonna serve something I make. (She exits and Phoebe goes over and sits down at the machine that works your shoulders and tries to do one, which she does, easily.)

（起身）好吧，我现在下去。但是，我可不想端烤宽面条。我要端我做的食物出去。（她出去，菲比走到练肩膀的器械前坐下，试着做了一下，轻松完成）

Phoebe

Wow! My breasts are really strong. (She goes and joins Monica.)

哇！我的乳房还真强壮呢。（她去追莫妮卡）

Rachel

Chandler! Chandler, please, I have to get you locked up back the way you were, I am sooo gonna lose my job, she's very private about her office. Now I know why.

钱德！我必须把你锁回去，我不能失去这份工作，她的办公室是非常保密的。现在我知道原因了。

Chandler

Hey, look, you're in trouble either way! Okay? If she comes back and sees me locked to this instead of the chair, she's gonna know you were in here. So you might as well just let me go.

嘿，反正你都会有麻烦，明白吗？如果她回来看见我被锁在这边而不是椅子上，她就会知道你进来过。所以你最好还是让我走。

Rachel

What if I clean your bathroom for a month?

我帮你打扫一个月浴室？

Chandler

It still wouldn't be clean. (Rachel makes an 'Eww, disgusting!' face) All I want is my freedom.

还不是脏的。（瑞秋做出"呃，恶心！"的表情）我只是想要自由。

Rachel

Foot rubs for a month!

帮你脚底按摩一个月！

Chandler

Freedom!

自由啊！

Rachel

I'll take all of your photos and put them into photo albums!

帮你把所有照片都收到相册里！

Chandler

Freedom! I want my freedom! Why won't you hear me?! (Opens the door) Sophie, help me! Help me!! (Sophie stands up)

自由啊！我只是想要自由啊！为什么你不能帮我？！（打开门）索菲，救我！救我!!（索菲站起来）

Rachel

Sophie sit!!

索菲，坐!!

(She closes the door and puts his tie into his mouth as a gag.)

（她关上门，把他的领带塞进他嘴里当塞口物）

Rachel

No! God, would you just calm down!

不！天啊，你不能平静下来吗！

(Chandler screams a little bit, then realises that he can spit out his gag. He does so with a 'Pouff!')

（钱德勒小声叫了一下，然后意识到可以吐出塞口物。他"噗"地吐了出来）

Chandler

I'm gonna say this for the last time. Would you please just... (He moves his arm which opens the drawer and hits in the back of the head, which proves his point.)

我只想说最后一遍。你能……（他动了一下手臂，拉开了抽屉，抽屉撞到他的后脑勺，证明了他的观点）

Joey

Wow! There's a lot I didn't know about vomit. (The duck comes to the door of the bathroom, quacking.) (To the duck) In a minute. (The duck goes back into the bathroom.)

哇！原来呕吐还有这么多学问。（鸭子来到浴室门口，嘎嘎叫）（对鸭子）稍等。（鸭子回到浴室）

The Salesman

So, what do you say, Joey? You get the whole set of encyclopedias for twelve hundred dollars, which works out to just 50 bucks a book!

怎么样，乔伊？你只要花1200美元就可以得到一整套百科全书，零售50美元一本！

Joey

Twelve hundred dollars? You think I have $1200? I'm home in the middle of the day, and I got patio furniture in my living room. I guess there's a few things you don't get from book learnin'.

1200美元？你认为我会有1200美元吗？这些天我一直在家，我的客厅里摆着庭院椅。看来你博览群书却没学到某些常识。

The Salesman

Well ah, what can you swing?

好吧，你有什么？

Joey

How about zero down and zero a month for a long, long time?

分期付款卖给我如何？每月付零元，付很长很长时间？

The Salesman

You don't have, anything?

你难道一无所有吗？

Joey

You wanna see what I got? (He gets up to empty out his pockets) Okay? I've got a baby Tootsie Roll, a movie stub, keys, a Kleenex, a rock, and an army man. Hey!

想看看我有什么？（他站起来掏空口袋）好吧？我有巧克力软糖，一张电影票根，钥匙，面巾纸，石头，还有个小兵人！嘿！

The Salesman

Okay, I-I get the picture. Uh, thanks, for your time. (Starts to leave)

好了，我了解了。呃，谢谢你的时间。（开始离开）

Joey

And a 50. (The salesman stops suddenly) Huh, these must be Chandler's pants.

还有50美元。（推销员突然停住）嗯，这一定是钱德的裤子。

The Salesman

For 50 bucks, you can get one book! What will it be? A? B? C?

如果是50美元的话你就能拥有一本书了！你想要哪本？A？B？C？

Joey

Oh, I-I think I'm gonna stick with the V, I wanna see how this bad boy turns out.

哦，我想我还是看V这本吧，我想看看这个坏孩子是怎么回事。

Rachel

I ah, will buy and wrap all of your Christmas gifts.

我帮你打点圣诞礼物。

Chandler

No!

不！

Rachel

I ah... Oh! I'll squeeze you fresh orange juice every morning!

我……哦！我每天早晨给你榨鲜橙汁！

Chandler

With extra pulp?

带水果肉的吗？

Rachel

(happily) Yeah!!

（高兴地）耶!!

Chandler

No!

不！

Rachel

D'oh!! (pause) I've got it!

唉!!（停顿）我想到了！

Chandler

You don't have it.

你才没辙呢。

Rachel

I have so got it. There's gonna be rumours about this, there's no way to stop it. Sophie knows, Monica and Phoebe know.

我胜券在握。将有谣言四起，无法平息。索菲知道，莫尼卡和菲比也知道。

Chandler

How do Monica and Phoebe know?

莫尼卡和菲比怎么会知道？

Rachel

Oh, I called them. And when they ask me what I saw, I can be very generous (Holds her hands far apart) or very (In a high pitched voice) stingy.

哦，我给她们打电话。如果她们问我看见了什么，我会非常大方（双手张得很开）或者非常（尖声）守口如瓶。

Chandler

(intrigued) Go on.

（感兴趣）继续。

Rachel

I can make you a legend. I can make you this generation's Milton Berle.

我可以让你成为一个传奇，我可以让你成为当今的"米尔顿·伯乐"。

Chandler

And Milton Berle has a...

米尔顿可不得了...

Rachel

Ohh, not compared to you. (Chandler nods in agreement)

他都无法同你媲美。（钱德勒点头同意）

Monica

Well?

怎么样？

Phoebe

They're not even touching the lasagna!

他们碰都不碰宽面条了！

Monica

Really?!

真的?!

Phoebe

Oh, they love your casserole.

哦，他们喜欢你的砂锅菜。

Monica

Yes!!

太好了!!

Phoebe

It's hard to believe that just a little while ago this was nothing but ingredients.

很难相信，刚才还只有一些原材料。

Mrs. Geller

(entering) Well, everyone seems to be enjoying your dish.

（进来）看来每个人都喜欢你的菜。

Monica

And you?

你呢？

Mrs. Geller

I thought it was... quite tasty.

我想它是……十分可口。

Monica

So if everyone liked it, and you liked it, that would make this a success. Which would make you...

如果每个人都喜欢，你也喜欢，那就代表我成功了。那你就是个……

Mrs. Geller

(interrupting) A bitch?

（打断）婊子？

Monica

Well, I was going for wrong, but we can use your word.

我不是这意思，但是我们可以用你的词。

Mrs. Geller

Yes, well I was wrong, and I have to say you really impressed me today.

是的，我错了，我必须告诉你今天你给我留下了非常深刻的印象。

Monica

Wow!

哇！

Phoebe

Umm, you might even say that she pulled a Monica. (They both look at her) (to Monica) She doesn't know we switched it. (Monica nods her head 'No.')

嗯，你可以说她"很莫尼卡"。（两人都看着她）（对莫妮卡）她不知道我们已经将它转义了。（莫妮卡摇头"不"）

Mrs. Geller

And the next time you cater for me, there will be nothing but ice in the freezer. (She starts to bite her nails)

下次你帮我提供食物，我只准备冰块。（她开始咬指甲）

Monica

That really means a lot. Oh, and Mom, don't bite your nails.

你的话对我意义重大；哦，妈妈，不要咬你的指甲。

Chandler

(entering) Hello.

（进来）你好。

Joey, Rachel, and Ross: Hey!

嘿！

Monica

(in a sexy voice) Hello, Chandler. (Phoebe has a huge smile on her face.)

（性感的声音）嗨，钱德。（菲比脸上露出灿烂的笑容）

Chandler

(to Rachel) I love you. (Kisses her on the forehead)

（对瑞秋）我爱你。（吻她额头）

Joey

Wh-what's going on?

怎-怎么回事？

Phoebe

Oh.

哦。

(She motions for them to come closer, they lean in and she whispers what Rachel told her. The guys both lean back laughing.)

（她示意他们靠近，他们凑过去，她低声说出瑞秋告诉她的事。两人都向后靠，大笑）

Joey

No he doesn't!

不，他才不会！

Chandler

(checks his watch) Two hours, that lasted!

（看表）两个小时，这就传开了！

Rachel

So did you break up with Joanna?

你真的和乔安娜分手了？

Chandler

I think so.

我想是这样的。

Joey

Well, it's good thing you got out when you did, before she blew up like that Vesuvius.

正确的是，当你说完以后就应该马上离开，在她像维苏威火山喷发以前。

Ross

The volcano?

火山？

Joey

Yeah. And speaking of volcanoes, man are they a violent igneous rock formation.

是啊，像火山一样。可怕的火成岩构成。

Rachel

What?!

什么？！

Joey

Oh yeah, lava spewing, hot ash, of course some are dormant.

哦，喷出熔岩，吐出热灰，当然有些火山是休眠状态的。

Monica

Why are you talking about volcanoes all of the sudden?

为什么你会突然谈到火山？

Joey

Well, we can talk about something else. What do you want to talk about? Vivisection? The Vasdeferens? The Vietnam War?

好吧，那我们谈谈其他的。你想谈什么？活体解剖？输精管？越战？

Monica

Oh! Did anybody see that-that documentary on the Korean War? (Joey is pissed)

哦！有谁看过朝鲜战争的记录片吗？（乔伊很恼火）

All

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

看了，看了。

Phoebe

Oh God, Korea is such a beautiful country.

哦，韩国真的是一个美丽的国度。

Ross

With such a sad history.

不过她的历史哀伤了一些。

Chandler

Could there be more Kims?

姓"金"的人可真多。

(They all laugh and Joey joins them, not to be left out. When the laughing dies down, he has a depressed look on his face.)

（大家都笑，乔伊为了不落单也笑了。笑声平息后，他脸上露出沮丧的表情）

CLOSING CREDITS

片尾字幕

Joanna

(from her office) Who's out there?

（从办公室内）谁在外面？

Rachel

It's me! Good morning!

是我！早上好！

Joanna

Rachel, could you come in here for a moment, please?

瑞秋，你能进来一下吗？

Rachel

Yeah, sure. Umm, they didn't have poppy seed bagels, so I... (Enters Joanna's office and sees her handcuffed to her chair wearing nothing but a slip) Oh my word!

好，没问题。嗯，没有你要的那种百吉饼，所以我……（进入乔安娜的办公室，看到她只穿着衬裙被铐在椅子上）天啊！

Joanna

I seem to have had a slight office mishap. Could you please get the key off the back of the door for me.

我似乎有一些小麻烦。你能把门后的钥匙给我吗？

Rachel

Oh, yeah! Yeah!

哦，当然！没问题！

(She goes back and forth, not sure what to do first, put the bagel down or grab the key. She finally puts the bagel down and grabs the key and goes over to unlock Joanna.)

（她来回犹豫，不知道先放下百吉饼还是先拿钥匙。她终于放下百吉饼，抓起钥匙，走过去给乔安娜开锁）

Joanna

You tell your friend Chandler that we're definitely broken up this time.

你告诉你的朋友钱德，我们这次绝对分手了。

Rachel

Okay.

好的。

END

结束