The One With A Chick. And A Duck

Rachel

So who's idea was it to put everybody in the diner on skates?

是谁出主意让服务生都穿溜冰鞋的？

Monica

Oh, some idiot customer put a suggestion in the suggestion box.

某个白痴客人投意见箱的。

Phoebe

Oh my God, they took my idea!

天哪，他们盗用我的想法！

Monica

That was you?!

是你？

Phoebe

Yeah! Okay, here you go. (rolls her back to Rachel)

过去吧。

Gunther

(bringing Rachel a mug) Rachel, I made you a cocoa.

（端杯子给瑞秋）瑞秋，我帮你泡了可可。

Phoebe

Oh my God, are you guys okay?

天哪！你们还好吗？

Gunther

Are you all right?

辣喔？

Joey

(leaving Central Perk and seeing Monica laying on top of Rachel who is moaning in pain.) Oh my.

（走出中央珀克咖啡馆，看见摩妮卡压在呻吟的瑞秋身上）哦。

(They both turn and give him a dirty look.)

（两人都转头瞪他。）

Opening Credits

片头

Chandler

(sporting a goatee) Hey.

（留着山羊胡）嘿。

Joey

Hey. Y'know with that goatee you kinda look like Satan.

嘿，你留山羊胡有点像撒旦。

Chandler

Oh, so that's why the priest threw holy water on me. (there's no reaction from Joey) Okay, listen, you have to cheer up! Okay? You should come out with Ross and me, I mean anything is better than sitting around here crying all day about Kate.

所以神父才会对我洒圣水。（乔伊没反应）你得开心一点，你应该跟我和罗斯出门，总比整天坐着为凯特伤心好。

Joey

Hey I was crying because, because nobody believed Quincy's theory. Okay?

我伤心是因为没有人相信昆西的理论。

Ross

(entering) Hey!

（走进来）嘿！

Chandler

Hey.

嘿。

Ross

(triumphantly) I'm gonna be on TV!!

（得意地）我要上电视了！

Chandler

No way!

不会吧！

Ross

Yeah! They're putting together this panel to talk about these fossils they just found in Peru and The Discovery Channel's gonna film it!

有一个讨论秘鲁化石的座谈会，探索频道要去拍摄。

Chandler

Oh my God! Who's gonna watch that?!

天哪！谁会看？

Ross

Thanks. You ready to go?

谢了，可以走了吗？

Chandler

Yeah. (they start to leave)

（准备走）

Joey

Saw a girl with that vest.

我看过一个女生穿那件背心。

Chandler

Thanks. (He takes off the vest and throws it on the floor.)

谢了。（脱下背心扔地上）

Anchorwoman

(on TV) While most of us think of chocolate bunnies and baskets as traditional Easter gifts. Some people insist on giving live chicks as presents. (Joey is intrigued by the idea) Unfortunately, the sad fact remains that most of these little guys won't live to see the fourth of July. (Joey starts to call a place to buy a little baby chick) Because of as a result of improper care, they will be dead.

（电视里）大部份的人都视巧克力和篮子为传统的复活节礼物，有些人坚持送活的小鸡。（乔伊被吸引）不幸的是，大部份的小鸡都活不到国庆日。（乔伊开始打电话买小鸡）由于照顾得不妥善，它们马上就会死。

Joey

(on phone) Yeah, hi. You guys got any of those baby chicks? 'Cause I was watching this ah, commercial on TV and man, those guys are cute!

（打电话）你们有小鸡吗？我看到电视上的广告，那些小鸡好可爱！

Pete

Hi!

嗨！

Monica

Hi! Hey, Pete you're back! Hey, check this out. (She starts to skate over to him)

嘿，彼特，你回来了！你看。（溜向他）

Pete

Wow! Skates!

溜冰鞋！

(She gets just about all the way over to him and falls into his arms.)

（她快要溜到他面前时跌进他怀里。）

Monica

Wow! You're a lot sturdier than Chandler. He crumpled like a piece of paper. So how was your trip?

你比钱德结实，他一撞就倒。旅途顺利吗？

Pete

Well... (he holds up a gift he brought her)

嗯……（举起带给她的礼物）

Monica

Oh, what'd ya bring me?! (She opens the gift) Awww, hotel toiletries from Japan. Oh, these are gonna go in my permanent collection. You want some coffee?

你送什么给我？（打开礼物）日本饭店的化妆品，我要永远保留下来。要喝咖啡吗？

Pete

Yeah, sure, that'd be great.

好啊。

(She starts to go and get the coffee and falls behind the counter.)

（她去拿咖啡，摔倒在吧台后面。）

Monica

(popping back up) Regular or decaf?

（冒出来）普通还是低咖啡因？

Pete

Ah, which ever is closest.

最近的就行了。

Monica

Okay. (hands him a cup)

好。（递给他）

Pete

So ask me what I did today.

问我今天做了什么。

Monica

So what did you do today Pete?

你今天做了什么？

Pete

I bought a restaurant and I would like you to be the head chef.

我买下一家餐厅，想请你当主厨。

Monica

What?! Oh. (She turns around quickly and falls)

什么？哦。（快速转身摔倒）

Monica

Can you believe he just offered me a restaurant?

他居然要送我一家餐厅。

Rachel

What a jerk! You want me to kick his ass?

那个混蛋，你要我踹他吗？

Monica

I mean this has been like my dream since I got my first Easy Bake Oven and opened Easy Monica's Bakery. I mean I would kill for this job. I mean I can totally do this job, and God knows I paid my dues. (She removes her fake breasts) But Pete's just doing this because he has a crush on me.

从我拥有好烘烤箱、开了好吃糕饼店起，就在梦想这一天。我死也甘愿，我绝对能胜任，我吃的苦头也够多了。（取下假胸）但彼特这么做是因为他喜欢我。

Rachel

And you're still not attracted to him at all?

你对他还是没兴趣？

Monica

Hmm, no. I mean how can I accept a restaurant from hi-? I-I-I-I can't. I couldn't even accept a necklace from Stu Vincent in the seventh grade.

我怎么能接下这个餐厅？我不能。七年级时史都文森送我项链，我也没收。

Rachel

Yeah, but Mon that's totally different. He was your health teacher.

这是两回事，他是你的健康教育老师。

Monica

Oh, please.

怎么了？

(She slaps Rachel's side and Rachel screams in pain.)

（她拍瑞秋的侧身，瑞秋痛得尖叫。）

Monica

What? Honey.

什么？亲爱的。

Rachel

Oh, I am, my side still hurts from when you crashed into me yesterday.

被你撞到的地方好痛。

Monica

Oh God, I'm so sorry.

天哪，对不起。

Rachel

I know.

天哪。

(Monica hugs her and goes and hugs her)

（摩妮卡拥抱她）

Rachel

Ow!!

啊！

Monica

Oh God!

天哪！

Ross

(entering, wearing a white suit with a little red bow tie) Hey, you guys! Guess what?

（走进来，穿着白西装系红领结）嘿，你们猜怎样？

Rachel

(looking at the outfit) Got a job on a river boat?

（看着西装）你在邮轮上找到工作？

Ross

Y'know what I didn't wear this suit for a year because you hated it. Well, guess what? You're not my girlfriend anymore so...

我一整年没穿这套西装，因为你不喜欢。你不是我的女朋友了，所以……

Rachel

Oh I see, so this suit is making a point.

我懂了，你想要强调你现在孤家寡人，可以尽情的出丑。

Ross

Right.

对。

Rachel

Now that you're on your own, you're free to look as stupid as you like.

你喜欢这套西装吧？

Ross

(to Monica) You like it right?

（对摩妮卡）当然，你穿起来比肯德基爷爷好看。

Monica

Oh absolutely. I like it even more on you than I did on Colonel Sanders. (Ross starts to leave) Ross! Ross! I'm kidding!

罗斯，开玩笑的，回来！

Rachel

Yeah, come here!

你要说什么？

Monica

What-what was it you were gonna tell us?

你发明轧棉机的过程？

Rachel

Yeah. Oh! Was how you invented the cotton gin?!

你投书到意见箱之后多久才得到回应？

Ross

Okay, good bye! (leaves)

好，再见！（离开）

Chandler

So um, after you put the suggestion in the box, how long did it take for the roller skating thing to happen.

大约三个月。

Phoebe

Umm, oh, about three months.

所以离上空的规定大约还有两星期。

Chandler

Okay, so I guess that's about ah, two weeks before the topless thing kicks in.

嘿！

Joey

(entering carrying a box) Hey!!

（抱着盒子走进来）嘿！

Chandler

Hey!

嘿！

Joey

I got you something! Open it! Open it!

我买了一个东西！打开来看！

Chandler

Okay. (He opens it and it's a baby chick) It's a chicken.

（打开，是一只小鸡）是一只鸡。

Joey

It's cute, huh?

很可爱吧？

Phoebe

Whoa-whoa-whoa, you guys, do you know anything about chicks?

两位，你们了解鸡吗？

Chandler

Fowl? No. Women? Nooo.

家禽？不了解。女人？不了解。

Phoebe

Okay, well they are a huge responsibility, especially at this age. They require constant care. They-they need just the right food, and lot's and lot's of love.

养鸡是重责大任，尤其是小鸡需要无微不至的照顾。它们不能吃错东西，需要很多关爱。

Joey

Oh, well no problem there. (He picks up the chick, hugs it really tight, and talks to it like it's a little baby.)

这个没问题。（抱起小鸡，紧紧搂着，像哄小宝宝一样跟它说话。）

Chandler

Easy Lenny.

轻一点，大母鸡。

Pete

So? I mean have you thought about it?

你考虑过了吗？

Monica

Okay. Here's the thing.

是这样的。

Pete

Oh no, not the thing. I hate the thing. What's the thing?

我讨厌“是这样的”。是怎样的？

Monica

I can't do it. I'm sorry, I wish I could, but umm, see you have these feelings for me....

我不能接受。抱歉，我也很想接受，但你对我有特殊感情……

Pete

Wait, wait, wait, wait, that's-that's what you're worried about? If that's the problem, we've got no problem.

你在担心这个？如果是这个问题那就没问题了。

Monica

Huh?

嗯？

Pete

No! Look, I was gonna tell you this over dinner, but I met somebody else. On my trip.

我正打算吃饭时告诉你，我这趟出国认识了一个人。

Monica

Oh?

哦？

Pete

Her name's Ann, she's a journalist. Ahh, we met on the plane. She asked me if she could finish off my peanuts, I thought she said something else, we had a big laugh. Yeah, I just, I mean I got, I got tired of waiting.

她叫安，是记者。我们在飞机上认识，她想把我的花生吃完，我听成别的，我们大笑一场。我等烦了。

Monica

Oh, that's great! I mean I'm-I'm sorry, but I'm so happy for you. And now I can work for you!

太好了！抱歉，但我好为你高兴。我可以为你工作了！

Pete

I guess you can.

看来可以了。

Monica

Oh my God! Oh, this is incredible! Ohh! (she rolls over and kisses him on the cheek) All right, y'know what? I'm just gonna roll right into that office and-and quit!

天哪，太棒了！（溜过去亲他脸颊）我要溜进办公室去辞职！

Pete

All right.

好。

Monica

Okay. (she gets ready to go) Can you give me a little push?

（准备走）推一下，好吗？

Pete

Yeah, sure. Good luck!

祝你好运。

Monica

(rolling towards the office) I'm quitting!! Woo-hoo! (She rolls through a doorway and out of sight. We then hear a big crash, and see Monica roll past the door the other way.) I'm okay!! I'm all right!!

（溜向办公室）我要辞职了！呜呼！（她溜过门口不见了，然后听到撞击声，她溜回来）我没事，我很好！

Phoebe

(to Pete) Wow! That's exciting, you went to Japan, made up a woman.

（对彼特）真叫人兴奋啊，你去日本，认识一个女人。

Pete

What?

什么？

Phoebe

I'm just saying, this woman, I mean she's fictitious. No?

我是说这个女人……是虚构的吧？

Pete

Why would you say that?

为什么这么说？

Phoebe

'Cause you're still into Monica. So you told her there was somebody else so she would agree to work with you, so 'cause you figure oh if you spent a lot of time together, maybe something might happen, and...

你还是喜欢摩妮卡。你谎称认识别人，好让她为你做事。相处久了，也许就会产生感情。

Pete

You're good! You're good!

你真行！

Phoebe

Yeah, no, I'm fairly intuitive and psychic. It's a substantial gift.

我只是直觉准，还会通灵，很实在的天赋。

Pete

Listen, can you promise me that you won't tell her though?

请答应我不要告诉她。

Phoebe

Absolutely, oh I promise. Tell her what?

没问题，我答应你。告诉她什么？

Pete

Thanks a lot.

谢谢你。

Phoebe

No I'm serious. I mean I'm intuitive, but my memory sucks.

我的直觉很准，但记性很差？

Chandler

Okay, but this is the last time. (singing) With a chick-chick here, and a chick-chick there. Here a chick, there a chick, everywhere a chick-chick- (Joey enters) -chickeeeen.

好吧，但这是最后一次。（唱）这里吱，那里吱，这里吱，那里吱到处都在吱吱叫……鸡……（乔伊走进来）

Joey

Hey.

嘿。

Chandler

Hey.

嘿。

Joey

How's she doing?

鸡妹妹好吗？

Chandler

She? (pause)

妹妹？

Joey

Well yeah, don't-don't you think it's a she?

你不觉得是妹妹吗？

Chandler

I don't know. (He picks the chick up and turns it over, trying to determine the sex of the chick, and blows on it.) I can't tell, what ever it was went back in too quickly.

不知道。（把小鸡翻过来，吹气）看不出来，那个东西一下子就缩回去了。

Joey

Well, anyway, I got to go change, I'm ah, meeting some of the cast for drinks.

我要换衣服，我要去跟其他演员喝酒。

Chandler

Excuse me?

什么？

Joey

What?

怎么了？

Chandler

I stayed home from work today while you were at rehearsal so somebody could be here with our chick!

你排练时，我留在家里，好陪着我们的小鸡！

Joey

Hey! Who was up from 2 o'clock this morning until 5 o'clock this morning trying to get her back to sleep?

是谁从半夜两点撑到五点，好哄她睡觉？

Chandler

You don't think I get up when you get up?

你以为我没起来吗？

Joey

Ohhh, here it comes.

又来了。

Chandler

Yes, here it comes! I'm stuck here all day, and then you come in and spend two seconds with us and then expect to go off gallivanting with your friends? Well I don't think so mister!

没错，又来了！我整天困在这里，你才回来陪了我们几秒钟就要出去跟朋友花天酒地？这样不行喔，先生！

Joey

Hey!! I need to relax! Okay? I was working all day!

我需要轻松一下，我忙了一整天！

Chandler

And you don't think taking care of our chick is work?

照顾我们的小鸡就不忙？

Joey

That's not what I said. Okay, I just meant...

我不是那个意思，我是说……

Chandler

I know what you meant!! (pause) You notice that ever since we got this chick, we've been fighting a lot more than we used too?

我知道你想说什么！你有没有发现，自从有了小鸡，我们争吵的次数变多了？

Joey

I don't know, maybe we weren't ready to have a chick.

也许我们还不适合养小鸡。

Chandler

I'll take her back tomorrow.

我明天送它回去。

Joey

Do you think we'll get our three bucks back?

三块钱会退吗？

Ross

(entering carrying a garment bag) Hey!

（拎着衣物袋走进来）嘿！

Chandler

Hey!

嘿！

Ross

(sees the chick) Ohhh, hey! All right, listen, I-I have that TV thing in like two hours, and I need your help, okay? What do you think? (takes out two suits) This blue suit, or this brown one?

（看到小鸡）哦，嘿！我两小时后要录影，请你们帮个忙。怎么样？蓝色还是棕色的好？

Joey

Well, the brown one brings out your eyes, but your butt looks great in the blue one.

棕色可以突显你的眼睛，但蓝色那套让你的屁股很翘。

Ross

Really? (Joey gives him a 'Like I would know' look)

真的？（乔伊一副“我哪知道”的表情）

Rachel

(she reaches for the bottle) Oww! (She grabs the bottle, but has trouble opening it. She pops the top off and aspirins fly all over the place as Ross enters.)

（伸手拿瓶子）啊！（拿过瓶子，打不开，拔开瓶盖时药片飞得到处都是，罗斯走进来。）

Ross

Wow! That aspirin dance really works!

祈药舞还真有效！

Rachel

(She bends over to try and pick up the aspirin) Oww!

（弯腰捡药）啊！

Ross

Oh my God, is that still...

天哪，你还是？

Rachel

I'm fine, I'm fine.

我没事。

Ross

No you're not.

你有事。

Rachel

Yes I am!

我没事！

Ross

Rach!

瑞秋！

Rachel

Look, I'm fine. Watch. (She picks up an aspirin between her toes) Look at that. (She lifts her leg to grab the aspirin with her hand and almost falls over.) Whoa-whoa!

我很好，看我的。（用脚趾夹起阿司匹林）你看。（抬腿用手去拿，差点摔倒）哇哇！

Ross

(stopping her from falling) Okay, okay. Look, you have got to go to a doctor! Okay?

（扶住她）你得去看医生，好吗？

Rachel

No. I have got to get ready and go to a dinner at my bosses house. It's a very big deal, there's a lot of people there I have to meet.

不。我要去我老板家参加晚宴，有几个人非见不可。

Ross

And I'm sure you're gonna make a big impression. Hi! I'm Rachel Green. It's nice to meet you. (He lifts his leg and imitates shaking hands with it, just like how Rachel was trying to pick up the aspirin with her feet.) Come on, you probably have a broken rib!

你一定会令人印象深刻。“你好，我是瑞秋”，“很高兴认识你”。（抬腿模仿她用脚捡药的样子）你的肋骨可能断了！

Rachel

Well, I will go to the hospital tomorrow, it'll still be broken then.

我明天再去医院，它还是断的。

Ross

Rach...

瑞秋……

Rachel

But y'know, I could use a hand getting ready.

但我打扮时需要帮忙。

Ross

Rachel...

瑞秋……

Rachel

Look, either help me or go.

你不帮忙就走。

Ross

Fine. I'll go.

好，我走。

Rachel

(with a hurt expression on her face) Okay, but before you go, could you help me first?

（受伤的表情）走之前能不能先帮忙？

Ross

(He checks his watch) Sure. I'll help you.

（看表）好，我帮。

Chandler

(rushing in) Oh, good! Good! Do you guys know how to get a chick out of a VCR?!

（冲进来）你们要怎么把小鸡弄出录影机？

Commercial Break

广告

Rachel

(She drops the brush) Y'know what? I cannot do this with my left hand! Would you please, help me with this too?

（刷子掉了）你知道吗？我不会用左手化。你能不能也帮我化妆？

Ross

Ohh. (He drops the shoes, takes the brush from her, and licks the tip. He doesn't like how it tastes.)

哦。（放下鞋子，拿过刷子，舔了舔笔尖，味道不好。）

Rachel

(taking the brush back) Okay. Let's use this brush. (Hands him another one.)

（拿回刷子）用这一支好了。（递给他另一支）

Ross

Okay. This stuff?

好，这个？

Rachel

Yeah.

对。

Ross

All right.

好。

Rachel

Careful. Light. Okay, do you know how, just sweep it across the lid. Okay? Just sweep it.

小心一点，沾一点，在眼睑上刷一下就好。刷一下。

Ross

Oke-dokey. (He pokes her in the eye with the brush.)

好的。（用刷子戳她眼睛）

Rachel

Oh-ho!

哦！

Ross

Sorry.

对不起。

Rachel

Hey! That's just poking me in the eye!

你是在戳我的眼睛！

Ross

Sorry, I'm sorry. Close, close, close...

对不起，闭上……

Rachel

Okay, just sweep it.

刷一下。

Ross

I'm sweeping...

我在刷……

Rachel

Right.

刷、刷……

Ross

Sweep, sweep.... (He starts to paint it on her eye, making it look like she has a black eye.)

（开始在她眼睛上画，像黑眼圈）

Rachel

Okay, now make it even, 'cause we don't...

刷均匀，不要……

Ross

What? What?

什么？

Rachel

We don't want it-it to be too much, we want it to be subtle.

不要太多，隐隐约约就好。

(Of course it's too late for that.)

（当然已经太迟了。）

Ross

No. No, y'know you don't, you don't wear enough of this. (Rachel is shocked) What?

不，你的妆不够浓。（瑞秋震惊）什么？

Rachel

Since when, since when do you think I don't wear enough of this?

你几时觉得我的妆不够浓了？

Ross

Well I, close your eyes, I just think you're gonna like this a little better, 'cause, close-close... (He gets some more on the brush)

闭上眼睛，你一定会喜欢。

Rachel

Blow it.

吹一下。

Ross

(blows it) Sorry. 'Cause umm, I think this will make you a little more sophisticated.

（吹）这样看起来比较世故、成熟。

Rachel

Sophisticated like a hooker?

跟妓女一样世故？

Monica

Hey!

嘿！

Phoebe

Hey!

嘿！

Monica

Hey, guess what I'm doing tonight.

你猜我今晚要做什么？

Phoebe

What?

什么？

Monica

I'm checking out the restaurant with Pete.

我要跟彼特去看餐厅。

Phoebe

Ohh, Monica, I am so excited for you.

摩妮卡，我好替你兴奋。

Monica

I know.

我有一件事要告诉你。

Phoebe

Ooh, I have to tell you something.

什么事？

Monica

What?

我不能告诉你。

Phoebe

But I can't tell you.

把不能说的事说出来不是会比较舒坦？

Monica

Okay, but wouldn't it be easier if you had to tell me something that you could tell me.

哪有那么好的事。

Phoebe

Well, sure in a perfect world. But, no, I promised I wouldn't tell, and I swore to like all my gods.

我答应不说，我对所有神明发过誓。

Monica

Okay. Does it have to do with Ross and Rachel?

跟罗斯和瑞秋有关吗？

Phoebe

No.

不是。

Monica

Does it have to do with Joey?

跟乔伊有关吗？

Phoebe

No.

不是。

Monica

Does it have to do with-with Chandler and that sock that he keeps by his bed?

跟钱德和他床边的袜子有关吗？

Phoebe

No, but let's come back to that later!

不是，不过你待会儿要告诉我。

Ross

There you go! Good enough for your party, huh?

好了，够美了吧？

(She turns and looks in the mirror, and it's way, way over done. She looks like she has two black eyes.)

（她转身照镜子，化得太浓，像两个黑眼圈。）

Rachel

Sure.

是啊。

Ross

Yep?

嗯？

Rachel

Sure, I'll just sit next to the trans-sexual from purchasing.

是啊，我会坐在采购部那个人妖旁边。

Ross

Okay, come on! All right, I gotta go! So good luck at the party. Okay?

我得走了，祝你晚宴愉快。

Rachel

Oh wait, Ross, would you just stay and help me get dressed?

再帮我换一下衣服？

Ross

(checks his watch) Sure, okay.

（看表）当然好。

Rachel

Okay. Okay, great! Umm, okay, just turn around.

太好了，转过去吧。

Ross

What?

什么？

Rachel

I don't want you to see me naked!

我不想让你看到我的身体。

Ross

Rachel, I've seen you naked a million times. I ate hot fudge off you naked. Remember, I-I sucked that mini-marshmallow out of your belly button?

我看过几万遍了，我在你身上吃热奶油，我从你的肚脐眼吸出小软糖。

Rachel

Yeah, but that was different. Y'know? I mean, we were, we were going out then, now I think it's weird.

那个不一样，我们那时在交往，现在很奇怪。

Ross

Rach, y'know I can see you naked any time I want.

我随时都能看到你的裸体。

Rachel

What?

什么？

Ross

All I have to do is close my eyes. See? (closes his eyes) Woo-hoo!!

我只需要闭上眼睛，你看。（闭眼）呜呼！

Rachel

Ross! Stop that!

罗斯，别闹了！

Ross

Ah, I'm sorry.

抱歉。

Rachel

Come on! I don't want you thinking of me like that any more!

拜托，别再那样想我了。

Ross

Ahh, sorry, nothing you can do about it. It's one of my ah, rights as the ex-boyfriend. (closes his eyes again) Oop, oh yeah!

抱歉，你管不到，这是前任男友的权利。（又闭眼）哦，对！

Rachel

Stop it! Cut it out! Cut it out!

别闹了，够了！

Ross

Okay, okay, I'm sorry, it will never happen... (closes eyes) Uh-oh! Wait a minute! Wait-wait, now there are a hundred of you and I'm the king.

对不起，我不会再……（闭眼）等一下，现在有一百个你，我是国王。

Rachel

Rosss...

罗斯……

Ross

Come on, would you grow up? It's no big deal.

成熟一点，这又没什么。

Rachel

All right. (She starts to take off her robe) Fine.

好吧。（开始脱睡袍）好。

Ross

Yowzah!!!

哇！！！

Rachel

O-kay!! See what you did, I'm gonna be doing it by myself now. Okay?

很好，我决定自己换衣服。

Ross

Aww, come on.

天哪，听我说。

Rachel

That's it. (She crawls onto the bed) Ow!!!

（爬到床上）啊！

Ross

Oh my God!

小心，你得去医院，好吗？

Rachel

Oh-ow!

我真的得去了。

Ross

All right.

我去帮你拿外套，再送你上车。

Rachel

Ow!

你不陪我去吗？

Ross

Look...

当然要。

Rachel

Ow!

我得先打个电话。

Ross

Okay.

谢谢。

Rachel

Ow!

怎么了？

Ross

Rach?

对不起，我不能这样去医院。

Rachel

Ow! Ow!

跟旅行有关吗？

Ross

Easy. Easy. You have to go to the hospital. Okay?

跟木屐有关吗？

Rachel

Okay, I do.

木屐还是爪子？

Ross

Okay.

木屐。

Rachel

I really do.

爪子？

Ross

Okay, I'm gonna get your coat and then I'll-I'll put you in a cab.

所以不是罗斯和瑞秋。

Rachel

Okay. Oh wait, wait-wait, you're not gonna come with me?

也不是钱德和乔伊。

Ross

(He thinks about it) Of course I am. I just have to make a call.

那彼特呢？

Rachel

Okay.

怎么样？

Ross

Okay? (goes into the living room)

我不知道。

Rachel

Thank you. (She goes to take off her make-up and screams in pain) Oww!!!! God!

谢谢。（去卸妆，痛得大叫）啊！天哪！

Ross

(rushing back in) What?! I wh-, what's wrong?

（冲回来）怎么了？

Rachel

I'm sorry, I just can't go to the hospital lookin' like this.

我好像在跟灵犬莱西说话，菲比，你就直说好吗？

Monica

Does it involve travel?

不行啦。

Phoebe

Noo!

我得走了。

Monica

Does it involve clogs?

跟彼特的电脑公司有关吗？

Phoebe

Oh, wait, wait. Clogs, or claws?

你走吧，你死也猜不到的。

Monica

Clogs.

我知道。

Phoebe

No.

没错，那就是雅丝敏·布丽丝。

Monica

Claws?!

她是一种完全不同的“鸡”。

Phoebe

No.

你们两个我都爱。

Monica

Okay, so it doesn't involve Ross or Rachel or Chandler or Joey. But, what about Pete?

是非常不一样的爱。

Phoebe

(Shaking her head yes) No!

你在干什么？

Monica

What is it?! What about Pete?

不是要送她走？

Phoebe

I don't know! (frantically points at Monica)

我有，但是店里不收。

Monica

Okay, I feel like I'm talking to Lassie. All right, Phoebe would you just tell me!

我带她去收容所。

Phoebe

I can't!!

你猜我发现什么？

Monica

Okay, I gotta go. (gets up)

要是找不到人领养就要杀了她。

Phoebe

I, but you're so close! No!

我绝不让小雅丝敏惨遭毒手。

Monica

Okay, does it involve something to do with Pete's computer company?

很好，其实我也有点反悔。

Phoebe

Oh, just go. You're never gonna get it!

不只小鸡，所有的动物都一样。

Chandler

I know. See, yes. That's Yasmine Bleeth, she's a completely different kind of chick. I love you both. But in very different ways.

没错，那就是雅丝敏·布丽丝，她是一种完全不同的“鸡”。你们两个我都爱，是非常不一样的爱。

Joey

(entering) Hey!

（走进来）嘿！

Chandler

Hey!

嘿！

Joey

(sees he's watching Baywatch) Ohhh. (sees he still has the chick) Ahh! What are you doing?! I thought you were gonna take her back to the store today.

（看到他在看《海滩游侠》）哦。（看到他还留着小鸡）你在干什么？不是要送她走？

Chandler

I did! But the store wouldn't take her back! So then I took her to the shelter, and you know what I found out?

我有，但是店里不收。我带她去收容所，你猜我发现什么？

(Joey wants to know, but Chandler doesn't want to discuss it by the chick, so he and Joey move over to the windows and away from the chick.)

（乔伊想知道，但钱德不想在小鸡面前谈，于是两人走到窗边。）

Chandler

If they can't find a home for her, they kill her! And I'm not gonna let that happen to little Yasmine!

要是找不到人领养就要杀了她！我绝不让小雅丝敏惨遭毒手。

Joey

Okay, good, good, good, 'cause, good, 'cause I was kinda having second thoughts too.

很好，其实我也有点反悔。

Chandler

Okay. And it's not just chicks y'know? It's all kinds of other animals!

不只小鸡，所有的动物都一样。

Joey

That's horrible! Well, you did the right thing man.

太可怕了，你做得对。

Chandler

Thanks, I'm glad you see it that way.

谢了，你这么想就好。

(He hear a duck start quacking, and see it waddle into the living room from the bathroom. Joey wants to know what's with the duck.)

（他们听到鸭子叫，看见一只鸭子从浴室摇摇摆摆走进客厅。乔伊想知道鸭子怎么回事。）

Chandler

Ohhh-hoo, funny story!

说来好笑。

Monica

I don't believe this! Wow, look at this refrigerator! It's gigantic! I mean I could live in this thing! I'd be cold, but I'm always cold. Oh my God, look at these spider burners! I love spider burners.

真不敢相信，你看这个冰柜，有够大的！我可以住在里面。会冷，不过我本来就很冷。天哪，你看这些传统火炉，我最喜欢传统火炉了。

Pete

So you like it?

你喜欢喽？

Monica

Oh, it is sooo perfect. Thank you so much. (runs over and hugs him)

太完美了，真谢谢你。（跑过去拥抱他）

Pete

Oh, you're welcome. (He takes a deep breath)

不客气。（深呼吸）

Monica

Did you just smell my hair?

你刚才在闻我的头发？

Pete

Nooo. Uh-huh, no way. What? No.

怎么可能，没有啊。

Monica

Oh God.

天哪。

Pete

What?

怎么了？

Monica

You still have feelings for me don't you?

你对我还是有感觉。

Pete

Now, nooo! I'm just excited about the restaurant, that's all.

我只是对餐厅的事很兴奋。

Monica

Pete.

彼特。

Pete

Okay, I love you. Is that so bad?

我爱你，有这么糟吗？

Monica

No, it's not bad. It's not bad at all. It's-it's really nice.

不糟，一点也不糟，其实很好。

Pete

Look, the only who stands to get hurt is me. And I'm okay with that.

会受伤的人是我，我都不介意了。

Monica

You may be okay about getting hurt, but I am not okay with being the one who hurts you. That's why I can't take this job.

你或许不介意受伤，我却不能当那个伤你的人。所以我不能接受这份工作。

Pete

What?

什么？

Monica

And well, we probably shouldn't see each other anymore. I'm sorry.

我们也不该再见面了。对不起。

Pete

Okay, yeah. I mean... If that's, if that's really what you want, okay.

你如果真的这么想，那好吧。

Monica

Okay, bye.

很抱歉事情……

(She kisses him on the cheek, and he kisses her back on the mouth.)

（她亲他脸颊，他回亲她嘴唇。）

Pete

I'm sorry things didn't work out...

你先闭嘴，让我确认一下。

Monica

All right shut up for a second and let me just see something. (She kisses him back on the lips) Oh, wow! (They then hug and kiss, very passionately.)

（亲回去）哦，哇！（两人热烈拥抱亲吻）

Rachel

Okay, you'd tell me the truth. Right?

你有说实话吗？

Ross

Rach, you can't look fat in an x-ray.

X光片看起来怎么会胖。

Rachel

Okay.

你给我在这里好好反省。

(As they approach the door, Chandler comes out carrying his duck.)

（他们走近门口，钱德抱着鸭子出来。）

Chandler

Okay! Now you stay out here, and you think about what you did!!

那是一只鸭子。

Ross

(to Chandler) That's a duck.

一只坏鸭子。

Chandler

That's a bad duck!!! (to Ross) How'd the thing go tonight, Ross?

（对罗斯）今晚的事顺利吗？

Ross

Oh, it was, nah, well....

什么事？

Rachel

What thing? What thing?

没什么，博物馆有事。走吧。

Ross

Nothing, ah there was this thing at the museum. Come on. (they go into her apartment) Easy.

（走进她公寓）小心。

Chandler

(to the duck) Okay, now when you come back I hope you remember that, that chick is not a toy! (He goes back into the apartment)

（对鸭子）等你回来，请记住，小鸡不是玩具。（回公寓）

Rachel

What thing? What is this thing?

到底是什么事？

Ross

I was kinda, supposed to be on TV tonight for The Discovery Channel.

我今晚本来要上探索频道。

Rachel

Oh my God!

天哪！

Ross

Yeah.

罗斯，你为什么不说？

Rachel

Ross, why didn't you tell me that?

我一说，你就会赶我去。

Ross

Eh, 'cause I knew that if I told you, you'd make me go, and I knew you needed someone to be with you tonight. Come on. Come on.

我知道你今晚需要有人陪着，来吧。

Rachel

I cannot believe you.

我真不敢相信。

Ross

What?

你对我太好了。

Rachel

That is the sweetest thing, I just...

你该睡觉了。

(They both look at each other for a while)

（两人对视片刻）

Ross

(breaking the silence) You should get some sleep.

抱歉搞砸你的计划。

Rachel

Okay.

你没事就好。

Ross

So I'll umm...

明天见。

Rachel

Oh, I'm sorry I spoiled your evening.

再见。

Ross

No, that's, no, as long as you're okay. So I'll ah, I'll see you tomorrow.

你犯了什么错？

Rachel

Um-hmm, yeah.

你们在干什么？

(He leaves)

（他离开）

Rachel

(After he closes the door) See ya.

（关上门后）再见。

(In the hallway, Ross all dejected, sits down on the step.)

（走廊里，罗斯沮丧地坐在台阶上。）

Chandler

(coming out of his apartment and seeing Ross) What did you do?

（从公寓出来看见罗斯）游泳。

Closing Credits

片尾

Joey

What 'cha doing?

小鸡呢？

Chandler

Having a swim.

鸡不会游泳。

Joey

What about the chick?

确定？

Chandler

Chicks don't swim.

不晓得。

Joey

Are you sure?

要试试看吗？

Chandler

I don't know. Should we try it?

好啊。

Joey

Sure.

（把钱德将小鸡丢进水里）

(Chandler picks up the chick and drops it in the water.)

（看吧，我就说它不会游。）

Chandler

See, I told you they don't swim. (He goes to take it out)

再等一下。

Joey

(stopping him) Wait. Give him a minute.

（阻止他）

Chandler

Noo! (takes him out) Oh, it's okay, it's okay, baby, baby, baby.

乖，没事了。

(Joey picks up and turns on a hair dryer.)

（乔伊拿起吹风机打开。）

End

结束