The One With The Hypnosis Tape

Monica

(to Joey) What's so funny?

（对乔伊）你在笑什么？

Joey

Oh, nothing, no. It's an acting exercise, I'm practising my fake laugh.

没有，这是演技练习，我在练假笑。

Monica

Oh. (she laughs)

哦。（她笑了）

Joey

What-what's so funny?

你在笑什么？

(Chandler enters with a cigarette.)

（钱德叼着烟走进来。）

Gunther

(to Chandler) Oh, no-no, no-no-no, there's none of that in here.

（对钱德）不行，店里不准抽烟。

Chandler

Oh come on man! At least let me finish this last one.

拜托，至少让我抽完这一根。

Gunther

Okay, but only if you give me a drag.

好，但你得分我一口。

Chandler

Okay.

好。

(Chandler hands him the cigarette, and he takes a long drag.)

（钱德递给他烟，他深吸一口。）

Gunther

Oh dark mother, once again I suckle at your smokey tit. (hands Chandler back the cigarette.)

妖女，我又吻上你的唇了。（把烟递回给钱德。）

Chandler

No-no, why don't you hang on to that one.

整根都给你吧。

(He goes and sits down next to Rachel and puts a cigarette in his mouth, which Rachel takes away from him. He puts another cigarette in his mouth, and Rachel takes it away again.)

（他坐到瑞秋旁边，叼起一根烟，瑞秋拿走。他又叼起一根，瑞秋又拿走。）

Chandler

Okay, that's like the least fun game ever.

这是最不好玩的游戏。

Rachel

Well, I'm really sick of your smoking, so I brought something that is going to help you quit. (hands him an audio cassette)

我受够了，我带了一样东西可以帮助你戒烟。（递给他一盒录音带）

Chandler

Oh. (takes the cassette and puts it on his arm like the stop smoking patch, and it falls off.) Nope, that patch is no good. (Joey and Monica both do their fake laughs.)

哦。（接过带子，像戒烟贴片一样贴在手臂上，带子掉了）这个戒烟贴布不好用。（乔伊和摩妮卡都假笑。）

Rachel

Come on, it's a hypnosis tape. This woman at work used it for two weeks straight and she hasn't smoked since.

这是催眠录音带，我一个同事听了两星期后再也没抽过烟。

Ross

Pffhah.

噗哈。

Rachel

(to Ross) What's your problem?

（对罗斯）你有什么意见？

Ross

Nothing, it's just that hypnosis is beyond crap.

没什么，只不过催眠是骗人的。

Rachel

Ross, I watched you get hypnotised in Atlantic City.

罗斯，我在亚特兰大看过你被催眠。

Ross

Hey, that guy did not hypnotise me! Okay.

那家伙没把我催眠，好吗？

Rachel

Oh right, 'cause you always pull your pants down at the count of three and play Wipe-out on your butt cheeks.

是啊，你总是脱裤子，用屁股“通杀”。

Phoebe

All right, y'know forget hypnosis. The way to quit smoking is you have to dance naked in a field of heather, and then bath in the sweat of six healthy young men.

别用催眠了，想戒烟就得去石南地上裸舞，然后用六个壮丁的汗水沐浴。

Chandler

Or what my Father called Thursday night.

我爸管它叫“周四夜狂欢”。

Opening Credits

片头

Ross

Here you go.

给你。

Rachel

Oh, y'know what, I didn't want cinnamon on this.

我没要肉桂。

Ross

Sorry. (To remedy that, Ross scoops the cinnamon off of the top with his hand.)

对不起。（为了补救，罗斯用手把上面的肉桂舀掉。）

Frank

(entering) Hi!

（走进来）嗨！

Phoebe

Oh my God!!

天哪！

Frank

Hi!

嗨！

Phoebe

Frank! Hi!

法兰克！嗨！

Frank

How are you?

你好吗？

Phoebe

What are you doing here?

你怎么来了？

Frank

Oh, well y'know, I would've called but I lost your phone number and then ah, my Mom locked me out of the house so I couldn't find it. And then, I tried to find a pay phone, and ah, the receiver was cut off. So...

我本来想先打电话，但是号码弄丢了。然后我妈把我锁在门外，我没办法进去找。我找了一具公共电话，话筒却被剪断了。

Phoebe

What happened?

怎么了？

Frank

Ah, oh, the ah, vandalism.

有人破坏公物。

Phoebe

But, also, what happened between you and your Mom?

那你和你妈怎么了？

Frank

Well, we got into a fight 'cause ah, she said I was too immature to get married.

我们吵架，她说我不够成熟，不能结婚。

Phoebe

You're getting married?!

你要结婚了？

Frank

Oh, yeah!

对！

All

Wow!

哇！

Phoebe

My little brother's getting married!!

我的弟弟要结婚了！！

Frank

Oh, I knew you'd be so cool about this. All right, ah, hey, do you want to meet her?

我就知道你会替我高兴。你想见她吗？

Phoebe

Do I?

你说呢？

Frank

Do you?

你想吗？

Phoebe

Yeah, I do, yeah.

当然想。

Frank

Okay, cool, all right, she just ah, parking the truck. (to Joey) I'm gonna, I'm gonna get my ah, my fiancée man!

太好了，她正在停卡车。（对乔伊）我去带我的未婚妻来。

Chandler

Y'know, I would've bet good money that he'd be the first one of us to get married.

我就知道他会最早结婚。

Phoebe

Yeah, isn't it fantastic?

这不是很棒吗？

Monica

Yeah, ah, but Pheebs don't you think he's a little young to get married?

你不觉得他稍嫌年轻？

Phoebe

What, he's 18.

他已经18岁了。

Ross

Exactly, it'll be illegal for him to drink at his own bachelor party.

他在最后单身派对上不能喝酒。

Joey

Yeah, or-or to get a hooker.

也不能叫鸡。

Chandler

Always illegal Joe.

叫鸡本来就违法。

Frank

(entering with his fiancée Alice, who is obviously much, much older than he is) Hey! Hey! This is ah, my fiancée, Mrs. Knight. (he points out Phoebe to her)

（和他的未婚妻爱丽丝走进来，爱丽丝明显比他大很多）嘿！这是我的未婚妻，奈特老师。（他把菲比指给她看）

Alice

Y'know it-it's funny, um, Frank told me so much about you, but you're not how I pictured you at all.

说来好笑，法兰克经常提到你，你却跟我想像的不一样。

Phoebe

Yeah, I'm a big surprise.

是啊，我很令人意外。

(Ross lets them both sit in his chair.)

（罗斯让他们俩坐在他的椅子上。）

Monica

So, um, how-how did you guys meet?

你们是怎么认识的？

Frank

Well um, I was in ah Mrs. Knight's ah, I mean Alice, sorry, Alice, I always do that. I was in her ah, Home Ec class.

我去上奈特老师的……我是说爱丽丝，抱歉，爱丽丝，我老是叫错。我去上她的家政课。

Alice

And he was my best student.

他是我最好的学生。

Frank

Yeah, she was my best teacher.

她是我最好的老师。

Alice

Ohhh. (They embrace in a very passionate kiss.)

哦。（两人深情拥吻。）

Chandler

If that doesn't keep kids in school, what will?

真是让学生不跷课的好方法。

Ross

And so now you guys are gonna be married?

你们要结婚了？

Alice

Yeah. Y'know we-we talked about just living together, but um, we want to have kids right away.

我们本来只考虑同居，但是我们想马上生小孩。

(Both Chandler and Phoebe have shocked looks on their faces.)

（钱德和菲比都露出震惊的表情。）

Rachel

Oh my God!! Great!

天哪！太好了！

Phoebe

Wow, kids. Frank, are you sure you're ready for that?

小孩？法兰克，你真的准备好了？

Frank

I mean, how hard can it be? Y'know, I mean, y'know, babies, y'know, who doesn't want babies right? And besides y'know, I never had a Dad around, and ah, now-now I always will, 'cause y'know, it'll be me. Right?

能有多难？谁不想要小宝宝，对吧？而且我一直没有爸爸陪伴，以后就有了，因为我就是爸爸。对吧？

Alice

Y'know, I mean, really we do realise that there's an age difference between us.

我们知道我们的岁数差很多。

Phoebe

Oh good! Okay. 'Cause you were acting like you didn't.

那就好，你们看起来好像不知道。

Alice

Oh no, but when it comes to love, what does age matter?

但是在爱情里，年龄不是问题。

(They both growl and hiss at each other and then kiss passionately again.)

（两人咕哝着，然后再次热烈接吻。）

Hypnosis Tape

You are falling fast asleep. Deeper. Deeper. Deeper. You are now completely asleep. You don't need to smoke. Cigarettes don't control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. A strong, confident woman.

你正在进入梦乡，越睡越沉，越睡越沉，你已经睡着了。你不需要抽烟，香烟不能控制你。你是坚强、有自信的女性，你不需要抽烟。坚强、有自信的女性。

Monica

And y'know what, I just realised, in the last year I've only gone out with two guys, Richard and Julio. You gotta help me out here, you gotta set me up, you gotta get me back in the game.

你知道吗？我发现去年我只和李察、胡立欧交往过。你得帮我牵线，让我重回情场。

Rachel

Well, that shouldn't be a problem. I mean I work in fashion and all I meet are eligible straight men.

没问题，我在时装界工作，身边全是异性恋好男人。

Monica

(to a customer) Pete, can I get you something else?

（对客人）彼特，还要什么？

Pete

Yeah, a slice of cheesecake and-and a date if you're given' 'em out.

起司蛋糕和一次约会，如果有的话。

Monica

Haven't you and I covered that topic?

我们不是谈过了吗？

Pete

Hmm, come on, you just said to her that you...

你刚才对她说……

Monica

Aww, the only reason you want to go out with me because my blond wig, and the big boobs, and the fact that I serve you food.

你想跟我约会是因为我是金发、波霸，还端吃的给你。

Pete

Well, if that were true, I'd dating my Aunt Ruth. And the two times we went out were just plain awkward. (to Rachel) Come on, you think she should go out with me, don't you?

那我找我姑姑就行了。我们一起出门两次，都蛮惨的。（对瑞秋）你觉得她应该和我约会吧？

Rachel

(laughs) Well, I mean, are you sure you want to go out with her? I mean that ain't a pretty picture in the morning, y'know what I mean. That wig all in disarray, and boobs flung over the night stand, y'know.

（笑）你真的想跟她约会？早上会惨不忍睹喔，假发乱成一团，义乳扔在床头柜上。

Monica

I mean really, think about it.

你考虑一下。

Pete

Ho-ho, I will.

我会的。

Phoebe

No, I know, I know, that this is Frank's life, (walks behind them, they turn around in the leather chairs to face her) y'know. Y'know, I don't want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, it's sick and wrong!

我知道这是法兰克的人生，我不想批评，但是这样是变态的，是错的！

Ross

Pheebs, what, is it the age thing?

菲比，因为年龄的关系？

Phoebe

No-no, oh, I'm fine with the age thing y'know, until it starts sticking it's tongue down my little brother's throat!

我本来不在乎年龄，直到她把舌头往我弟的喉咙伸！

Joey

Pheebs, he seems to enjoy it.

菲比，他看起来很爽。

Phoebe

But, I mean, do you think he's gonna enjoy it when he's up to his elbows in the diapers from all the babies they have to have right away?! This is not fair to Frank, (she walks behind them again, and hey again turn to follow her) and it-it's not fair to the babies, and y'know what, it's not good home economics.

等他忙着帮一堆宝宝换尿布，你觉得他还会爽吗？这样对法兰克不公平，也对宝宝不公平，这可不是好的家政。

Joey

Well, have-have you told him how you feel?

你跟他说过吗？

Phoebe

Yes. Not out loud.

有，但没有说出声音。

Ross

Pheebs, if you don't tell him, soon he's gonna be married, and then you're gonna hate yourself.

你不说，他就要结婚了，你会恨你自己。

Phoebe

Yeah, but if I do tell him, then he's gonna hate myself. I mean look at him and his Mom, I can't. (pause) But, you guys can, please you gotta talk him out of it.

我要是说了，他会恨我。你看看他和他妈妈，我不能说。（停顿）但是你们可以，你们去劝阻他。

Ross and Joey

No-no-no-no-no. (They start to turn away, but Phoebe stops them, and turns them back to face her.)

不要。（他们想转开，菲比拦住他们，把他们转回来。）

Phoebe

Come on, you guys, you have nothing to lose, I have everything to lose. Do you want me to lose everything? Everything?!

拜托啦，你们没有损失，我却会失去一切。你们要我失去一切吗？一切？！

Ross and Joey

No.

不要。

Phoebe

Okay, I'm gonna go get Frank. (exits)

好，我去找法兰克。（离开）

Joey

So, we're walking down the street and I turn to you and I say, "Hey, let's go hang out at Totally Nude Nudes," remember? And then, and then, you turn to me and say, "Nah, let's just hang out at your place." Well, that was a nice move dumb ass.

刚才走在街上，我对你说“去脱衣酒吧坐坐”记得吗？然后你说“去你家就好了”。好明智啊，猪头。

Rachel

I think you should definitely go out with this guy.

你应该跟他约会。

Monica

Nah, he doesn't do anything for me.

他对我一点吸引力也没有。

Rachel

Monica, last Saturday night, what happened on Walker: Texas Ranger?

上周六的《猛龙过江》演什么？

Monica

Well, umm, Walker was looking for this big bus load of kids... (realises) All right, I get your point.

沃克在找一车子的小孩……（恍然大悟）我懂你的意思了。

Rachel

All right.

好。

Chandler

(entering, carrying a briefcase) Hi.

（拎着公文包走进来）嗨。

Monica

Hey.

嘿。

Chandler

Y'know, I forgot the combination to this about a year ago? I just carry it around. Do you have any Chap Stick?

我一年前就忘了它的密码，我只是抬着装样子。你们有护唇膏吗？

Monica

Uh, yeah.

有。

Rachel

Hey, how are those tapes working out for ya?

录音带听得怎样？

Chandler

Y'know what, pretty good.

很有效。

Rachel

Yeah?

是吗？

Chandler

Good! I haven't smoked yet today, I feel great, and-and-and confident, that is a stunning blouse.

我今天还没抽烟，清爽又有自信——好漂亮的上衣。

Rachel

Thank you.

谢谢。

Monica

Here you go.

拿去。

Chandler

Thanks

谢谢。

Rachel

Hey Mon, let's give Pete a chance Come on, he was funny, he seems really nice, and that check thing was adorable.

给彼特一个机会，他既风趣，人又好，而且支票的事好可爱。

Chandler

What check thing?

什么支票？

Monica

As a joke, this customer at work who has a crush on me gave me a $20,000 tip. His number is on the check, he just did so I'd call him.

有个喜欢我的顾客开玩笑，给我两万元的小费。他的电话在支票上，他要我打给他。

Chandler

(reading the check) Pete Becker. Pete... (quickly grabs a magazine and opens it up to show her a picture) (pointing to the picture) Is this him?

（看支票）彼特·贝克，彼特……（迅速抓起一本杂志翻开给她看）（指着照片）是他吗？

Monica

That's Bill Clinton.

那是总统。

Chandler

Who's he huggin'?

他抱着谁？

Monica

Oh my God! That's Pete! But why is Bill huggin' Pete?

天哪，是彼特总统！为什么抱着彼特？

Chandler

This guy invented Moss 865! Every office in the world uses that program!

他发明了摩斯865！全世界的公司都在用这个程式！

Rachel

We use it!!

我们也在用！！

Chandler

There you go!!

摩妮卡要跟百万富翁约会了！

Rachel

Oh my God, Monica's gonna go out with a millionaire.

天哪！

Monica

I'm not gonna go out with him.

我才不跟他约会。

Rachel

Oh my God, I can't believe this is a real $20,000 check, oh this is just so exciting.

这居然是真的两万元支票，好兴奋喔。

Monica

Or incredibly offensive.

或是令人火大。

Rachel

Oh yeah, sure, that too.

对，也有。

(Chandler is putting on the Chap Stick the same way that women put on lipstick, including the bit with the piece of tissue.)

（钱德像女人涂口红一样涂护唇膏，还用了纸巾抿嘴。）

Chandler

(to the girls who are staring at him) What?

（对瞪着他的女生们）怎样？

Ross

All we're saying is don't rush into anything.

我们的意思是，不要操之过急。

Joey

Yeah, come on, think about it. You're 18, okay, she's 44, when you're 36, she's gonna be 88.

你18岁，她44岁，等你36岁，她就88岁了。

Frank

What, you don't think I know that?

你以为我不知道？

Joey

Look, the point is, there's a lot of women out there you haven't even had sex with yet!

重点是，你还可以跟很多女人上床。

Ross

Yeah, he-he's right, he's right. This is your time y'know, yeah, you're young, you're-you're weird, chicks dig that.

他说得对，这是你的天下，你年轻，你古怪，女生最喜欢了。

Frank

Okay, but isn't sex better when it's with one person that you really, really care about.

跟一个你很喜欢的人做，感觉不是更棒？

Joey

Yeah, in a poem maybe.

在诗里吧。

Ross

No the man's right, that's what I had with Rachel.

不，他说得对，我跟瑞秋就是那样。

Frank

You don't have it anymore?

现在没有了？

Ross

No, I ah, I slept with someone else.

没了，我跟别人上了床。

Frank

Okay, so wait, all right, so how does that make things better?

等等，那样对事情有帮助吗？

Ross

It didn't.

没有。

Frank

Okay, so what you used to have with Rachel, is what I've got with Alice.

你跟瑞秋的感觉，就是我和爱丽丝的感觉。

Joey

Now, wh-what, what is that like?

那是什么感觉？

Frank

It's so cool man, it's so, it's just 'cause being with her is so much better than like not being with her.

很棒的感觉，因为跟她在一起比不跟她在一起快乐多了。

Ross

Yeah, yeah.

对，对。

Joey

(to Ross) Why can't I find that?

（对罗斯）我为什么找不到？

Ross

Don't ask me, I had it and I blew it!

我拥有过，却搞砸了。

Joey

Well, I want it!

我想要！

Frank

You can have it!

你一定可以拥有！

Joey

I don't know, maybe I can't. I mean, maybe there's something wrong with me.

也许我有毛病。

Ross

Oh, no! No!

你会找到的。

Frank

It's out there man! I've seen it! I got it!!

我见过，也拥有了！

Joey

Then you hold on to it!!

那你就要好好把握！

Frank

All right, man!!

好！

Joey

All right, congratulations you lucky bastard! (hugs him)

死小子，恭喜你！（拥抱他）

Phoebe

(to Joey) You're Frank's best man?!

（对乔伊）你是法兰克的伴郎？

Joey

I couldn't help it, their love is so pure.

我没办法，他们的爱好纯洁。

Phoebe

Well then, (to Ross) what about you?! Huh?!

（对罗斯）那你呢？

Ross

I'm the ring bearer.

我帮他拿戒指。

(As Phoebe stands there in shock and disbelief, Chandler comes out of the bathroom and walks to his bedroom. He's just got out of the shower and has the towel wrapped around himself high across his chest, and another towel wrapped around his head, like women wear towels. Joey watches Chandler wondering what the hell he's doing.)

（菲比震惊地站着，钱德从浴室出来走向卧室。他刚洗完澡，毛巾围在胸口高处，头上还包着另一条毛巾，像女人一样。乔伊看着钱德，不知道他在搞什么。）

Commercial Break

广告

Phoebe

Hi! Oh, Alice, hi! Thanks. I'm so glad you could come, 'cause I've got a real umm, Home Ec emergency. (Points to the table cloth, which has a huge mustard stain on it.)

嗨！爱丽丝，谢谢你能来。我有一个家政惨案。（指着桌布，上面有一大块芥末渍。）

Alice

Oh my God, who died on this?!

天哪，谁死了？

Phoebe

Yeah, I know. It's a real mustard-tastrophe. Can you help me?

芥末酱倒了。你有办法吗？

Alice

Absolutely. Okay, first we'll start with a little club soda and salt, and then if that doesn't work we can go back to...

当然有，先用苏打水加盐清洗，要是洗不掉，就……

Phoebe

Y'know what, forget it. It's ruined.

算了，它已经毁了。

Alice

Oh no-no, never say that. If we can't get it out then we can cut around the stain, add a little lace, you make a stylish throw.

别这么说，要是洗不掉，就剪掉脏污部份，缝一点蕾丝，就是一条漂亮的遮布。

Phoebe

Or instead, maybe you could just not marry my brother Frank.

又或者，你可以不要嫁给我弟弟。

Pete

Okay, that's great, but can we make it smaller? Can we make it fit on the head of a pin? I love when we make things fit on the head of a pin.

好，能不能让它小到可以放在针尖上？我喜欢生产这种小东西。

All

Got it. Yeah all right. Yeah, okay.

没问题。

(The intercom buzzes.)

（对讲机响。）

Secretary

You have a Miss Monica Geller here.

摩妮卡·盖勒来访。

Pete

Uh, absolutely, yeah, send her in. (Monica enters) Hi.

好的，让她进来。（摩妮卡走进来）嗨。

Monica

What the hell is this? (holding up the check)

这是什么意思？（举起支票）

Pete

Hang on a second. (to the employees) I'll-I'll talk to you in the morning. (turns two of the three off) I'm sorry what?

等一下。（对员工）明天早上再谈。（关掉其中两个屏幕）对不起，什么？

Monica

Seriously, what is this supposed to mean?

这是怎么回事？

Pete

Well, y'know, I never know how much to tip.

我一直不会算小费。

Monica

You're supposed to double the tax. Not double the tax of Romania. I mean, what's-what's the deal? Are you, are you trying to buy me? Is this the way you get girls to go out with you?

把加税乘以二，不是把罗马尼亚的税收乘以二。你要买我吗？你都这样约女孩子？

Employee

Umm, I'm still here.

我还在。

Pete

(turns off the TV) You're taking this all wrong. Because, if I didn't leave you that tip, you wouldn't of come down here, we wouldn't be having this argument, and there wouldn't be this ah, heat between us.

（关掉电视）你误会了，要是我没给这笔小费，你就不会来，我们不会争吵，也不会有这种紧张的气氛。

Monica

What?!

什么？！

Pete

Come on, you gotta admit that our relationship is ah, is hitting a new level now. 'Cause you used to be like the chef, and I was the customer, and now we're like this-this couple that fights.

你得承认我们的关系有进展了。以前你是厨师，我是顾客，现在我们是两个争吵的人。

Monica

Okay, umm, you're a loon.

你是个疯子。

Pete

Look, forget the check, okay. (rips up the check) I like you. I think you're great. Come on, what do you say?

别管这张支票了，我喜欢你，我觉得你很棒。怎么样？

Monica

I don't know.

我不知道。

Pete

Why not?

为什么？

Monica

'Cause I don't want to encourage this kind of behaviour.

我不想鼓励这种行为。

Pete

One meal! That's all I'm asking for. Please? We go out, we eat, and if you don't have a good time, I give you ten grand, we call it even.

我只求一顿饭，好吗？我们出去吃饭，要是玩得不开心，我给你一万，我们扯平。

Frank

(hiding under a pile of clothes) Hi. (She jumps up screaming.) Wait, no! Just put the mail down. It's-it's me!

（躲在衣服堆下）嗨。（她跳起来尖叫）别怕，是我！

Phoebe

Okay. Whoa, sorry. Why were you just like all in the dark?

对不起，你怎么不开灯？

Frank

Oh well, um, your, your laundry just smelled so good, that I thought I'd curl up in it. Is that all right?

你的衣服好香，我就窝在里面，没关系吧？

Phoebe

Oh, yeah, sure. So, how was your day?

没关系。今天过得怎样？

Frank

Oh, well just probably the worst one since I've been alive.

可能是我有生以来最惨的一天。

Phoebe

What umm, what happened?

怎么了？

Frank

Umm, Alice ah, she ah, called it off.

爱丽丝改变心意了。

Phoebe

Oh no. Did umm, did she say why?

她有说原因吗？

Frank

Uh, no, not really, just that I was too young, y'know, but I don't see how I could all of the sudden be too young, 'cause I'm older than I was when we first got together.

没有，她只说我太年轻。我怎么突然变年轻了？刚交往时，她还说我老成。

Phoebe

Yeah, yeah, no, I don't, I don't know. But, y'know what, maybe it's just all for the best?

不晓得，但是你知道吗？或许这样也好。

Frank

Yeah, if the best is like unbelievable pain!

是啊，但是我好痛苦。

Phoebe

Oh, sweetie, oh. (hugs him)

亲爱的。（拥抱他）

Frank

Y'know, I just was finally happy y'know. For the first time in my life! After my Dad left me, and then, and then getting arrested for stealing those birds, and then, and then the whole punctured lung thing! I can, it's still really hard to take deep breaths in cold weather, but with Alice all that stuff kinda went away. And now it's, and now it's gone and I don't know why!

我好不容易感到快乐，这是生平第一次。先是爸爸离开我，然后偷鸟被逮捕，然后又肺穿孔。天气一冷，我还是很难深呼吸，但是有了爱丽丝，这些都不见了。现在我失去了，却不知道原因。

Phoebe

Uh, well I can tell you why. It's, it's because of me. But, y'know what, I only did it because I love you. Okay?

我可以告诉你，是我害的。不过我是爱你才这么做。

Frank

What?

什么？

Phoebe

Umm, well I, I kinda had a little chat with Alice, and I sort of made her see why you two shouldn't be together, y'know. And you're gonna see it too, one day, you really, really will.

我跟爱丽丝聊了一下，让她明白你们为何不能在一起。你总有一天也会明白，真的。

Frank

Wait a minute, wait, this is because of you?

等一下，是你造成的？

Phoebe

Okay.

对。

Frank

Well, you, wait no, my Mother didn't want us to be together, but the worst thing she ever did was tie me to the porch.

我妈反对我们在一起，但是她顶多把我绑在门廊上。

Phoebe

Okay, but.

但是……

Frank

Wait, y'know what, I-I came to you because I thought you'd understand! Oh no!! Y'know, I would storm out of here right now if-if I had some money, or a place to go...

我觉得你能了解，所以来找你。我很想摔门走人，但是我没钱、没地方去……

Rachel

Oh my God! The millionaire's here!

天哪，大富豪来了！

Chandler

(in a feminine way) Oh my God! (and he jumps all around)

（娘腔）天哪！（跳来跳去）

Monica

Guys, please, I'm just gonna have dinner with him. Okay?

我只是要跟他吃顿饭。

Chandler

Okay, okay, just because he buys you dinner, does not mean you owe him anything.

他请你吃饭，并不代表你欠他什么。

Monica

I know!!

我知道！

Chandler

Okay, then get the lobster!

那记得点龙虾。

Monica

(opening the door) (to Pete) Hey!

（开门）（对彼特）嘿！

Pete

Hi.

嗨。

Rachel

Hi!!

嗨！

Joey

Hey!

嘿！

Ross

Hi!

嗨！

(They're all staring at him, with big, huge smiles on their faces.)

（他们都瞪着他，脸上堆满笑容。）

Joey

Hey, how much cash do you got in your pocket right now?

你口袋里有多少现金？

Monica

And that's why, I'm not inviting you in for a drink. (starts to leave) Bye.

我就不请你进来坐了。（要走）再见。

All

Oh-no-no-no-no....

别……

Rachel

Just one drink?!

进来坐一下嘛！

Monica

(in the hallway) So, where do you want to go?

（在走廊里）你想去哪里？

Pete

Hey, you like pizza?

喜欢吃披萨吗？

Monica

Oh, that's sounds great.

听起来不错。

Pete

I know a great little place.

有一家馆子不错。

Pete

You're, hey, you're not paying for the pizza!

你不能让你付钱！

Monica

Oh come on, it's only fair, you paid for the flight. Now is, is that enough lire?

这样很公平，你出了机票钱。这些里拉够吗？

Pete

Ahh, I'd throw another thousand on that.

再丢个一千。

Monica

Why, how much is that?

这样是多少？

Pete

That's about 60 cents.

大约60毛美金。

Joey

Every night!!

每天晚上都这样！

(He starts to walk to the bathroom and hears the hypnosis tape from Chandler's bedroom.)

（他走向浴室，听到钱德卧室传来催眠录音带的声音。）

Hypnosis Tape

You do not need to smoke. Cigarettes don't control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. A strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. (Joey walks out smiling to himself.)

你不需要抽烟，香烟不能控制你。你是坚强、有自信的女性，你不需要抽烟。坚强、有自信的女性，不需要抽烟。（乔伊笑着走出去。）

Phoebe

Hey, Frank. Look, okay, I know that you think I did like this totally evil thing, but I so didn't. There's someone here who can explain this better than I can.

法兰克，我知道你觉得我做了大坏事，但是我没有。有一个人可以解释得比我清楚。

Alice

Hi Frank.

法兰克。

Frank

Hi, Mrs. Knight.

奈特老师。

Alice

Phoebe's right Frank. I know it's hard to hear, but it would've been wrong to go through with it. I-I-I was being selfish, even though we, we want the same things now, in the future we may not. (to Phoebe) Is that it, is that what it is?

法兰克，菲比说得对，这话不中听，但我们不该结婚。我太自私了，我们现在追求相同的东西，未来却不见得如此。（对菲比）对不对？

Phoebe

Yeah, but not just that.

对，但不只如此。

Alice

Right, not just that. Umm, even though we love each other as much as we do, none the less...

不只如此。虽然我们现在非常相爱，然而……

Phoebe

None the less.

然而。

Alice

None the less. Umm, you're too young to, to really know what you want. (They embrace in a passionate kiss.)

然而……你还年轻，不晓得你要什么。（两人热吻。）

Phoebe

That's right, exactly. (sees them) All right, it's a good bye kiss, that's good. (Frank picks Alice up and they move to the couch) Bye-bye. (They both lie down on the couch and start to make out.) Okay, no, the important thing is that you see what I'm saying, y'know, just y'know, this is clearly wrong. (They ignore her) Okay, I've decided I'm gonna let this happen! Okay, can I just get my purse? (She reaches in and Alice moans) Okay, all right, good. (leaves)

没错。（看着他们）好啦，你们在吻别，很好。（法兰克抱起爱丽丝走向沙发）再见。（两人躺在沙发上开始亲热。）重点是你们了解我的意思，这么做摆明是错的。（他们不理她）我决定袖手旁观！我要拿皮包。（伸手去拿，爱丽丝呻吟）好吧，算了。（离开）

Closing Credits

片尾

Hypnosis Tape

Cigarette's don't control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke.

香烟不能控制你，你是坚强、有自信的女性，你不需要抽烟。

Joey

(He's recorded his voice on the tape) Joey's your best friend. You want to make him a cheese sandwich everyday. (he laughs) And you also want to buy him hundreds of dollars worth of pants.

（他把自己的声音录进了带子）乔伊是你最要好的朋友，你要每天为他做起司三明治。（他笑了）你还要送他一条几百块的裤子。

(Chandler wakes up and stares at the tape.)

（钱德醒来，瞪着录音带。）

End

结束