The One With All The Jealousy

Rachel

(running in from her bedroom, wearing only a towel) Okay. Hey. Umm. Does everybody hate these shoes?

（只围着毛巾从卧室跑出来）好了，嘿，你们都觉得这双鞋很丑吗？

Chandler

Oh yeah, but don't worry. I don't think anybody's gonna focus on that as long as your wearing that towel dress.

对，不过别担心，没有人会注意的，只要你穿着那件浴巾装。

Rachel

(to Ross) Tell him.

（对罗斯）你跟他说吧。

Ross

(to Chandler) It's her first day at this new job. You're not supposed to start with her!

（对钱德）这是她履新职的第一天，你不该一早就开她玩笑！

Chandler

All right, I suppose I can wait a day. Hey, what are you doing Friday?

好吧，我可以等到晚上再说。嘿，你星期五有节目吗？

Ross

Why?

干嘛？

Chandler

I need you to come to this bachelor party for my weird cousin Albert, y'know he's the botanist.

你得来参加我的怪堂哥艾勃特的告别单身派对，你知道，他是植物学家。

Ross

Oh God. Y'know, botanists are such geeks.

老天，植物学家都神神经经的。

Chandler

Yeah. Is that a dinosaur tie?

那是恐龙领带吗？

Ross

Hmm? Oh, yeah. (he makes a growling sound)

嗯？哦，对。（发出低吼声）

Phoebe

(entering, with about 20 purses hanging around her neck) Morning. Rach, I'm here with the purses!

（走进来，脖子上挂着大约20个皮包）早安，瑞秋，我拿皮包来了！

Chandler

(to Phoebe) It must take you forever to find your keys.

（对菲比）找钥匙就要找老半天吧。

Rachel

(running into the living room) Thank you, thank you, thank you, Pheebs.

（跑进客厅）谢谢，菲比，谢谢你。

Phoebe

Your welcome, oh please not the one with the turtles.

不客气，拜托你不要用这个乌龟包包。

Rachel

No, no, no, no turtles scare me. I don't need that today.

不，乌龟让我害怕，今天尤其不是时候。

Ross

Honey, just relax, it's gonna be fine. Hey, umm,. why don't I come down there and I'll take you out to lunch?

亲爱的，别紧张，没问题的。我过来跟你一起吃午饭吧？

Rachel

Oh honey, thank you, but Mark's taking me out.

谢了，但马克要带我去吃饭。

Ross

Mark is that ah, the same Mark that helped you get the job?

马克？就是那个帮你找工作的马克？

Rachel

Yeah, it's kinda like a 'good luck on your first day' sort of thing. (to Phoebe) Is this actually a lunchbox?

对，算是祝我工作顺利。（对菲比）那是午餐盒吗？

Phoebe

Umm, no, it's a purse. And there's a thermos in it.

不，是皮包，里面还有个热水瓶。

Rachel

Oh.

哦。

Chandler

(to Ross) Hey, so can you make it on Friday?

（对罗斯）你星期五能来吗？

Ross

What? Oh yeah, yeah I think so. Why am I invited to this again?

什么？哦，我想可以吧。可是你为什么要请我呢？

Chandler

Well apparently Albert has no friends. He's very excited about the bachelor party though. I think actually the only reason he's getting married is so he can see a stripper.

显然艾勃特没有朋友，他对告别单身派对充满期待。我想他是为了看脱衣舞娘才结婚的。

Phoebe

A stripper at a bachelor party, that is so cliché? Why don't you get a magician?!

请脱衣舞娘参加告别单身派对，你们真是老套，为什么不请魔术师？

Chandler

Well, if the magician can open my beer with his butt cheeks, then all right.

如果魔术师可以用臀部给我开啤酒，那就行。

Opening Credits

片头

Ross

She's having lunch with him. She's having lunch with him. And you should of seen the hug she gave him when she got the job. And, and, and, (to Joey) he's really good looking. (Joey gives an enthusiastic thumbs up) What am I gonna do?

她要跟他吃午饭，跟他吃午饭！你该看看她被录取时是怎么拥抱他的。而且他相貌堂堂。（乔伊热情地竖起大拇指）我该怎么办？

Chandler

Don't do anything. Keep it inside. Learn how to hide your feelings! (pause) Don't cry outloud.

什么都别做，放在心里，学着隐藏你的感情。（停顿）不要大呼小叫。

Joey

(hanging up the phone) Yes! Guess who's in an audition for a Broadway musical?

（挂电话）好极了！猜猜谁得到了百老汇音乐剧的试演机会？

Chandler

I want to say you but, that seems like such an easy answer.

我本来要说是你，不过这个答案好像太容易了。

Joey

It is me! It's a musical version of Tale of Two Cities. So I think I'm gonna sing New York, New York, and ah, oh I left My Heart in San Francisco.

就是我！这是音乐剧版的“双城记”。我想我要唱“纽约，纽约”和“我把心留在旧金山”。

Ross

Ah Joey, I don't think you get to pick the cities.

乔伊，我想轮不到你来挑城市。

Joey

What?

什么？

Ross

Mr. Dickens gets to pick 'em.

这是狄更斯先生的权利。

Joey

Who?

谁？

Chandler

I'll get you the Cliff Notes.

我拿克里夫手集给你。

Joey

The what?

什么？

Chandler

The abridgment.

简易文学读本。

Joey

Oh, okay. (to Ross) The what?

哦，好。（对罗斯）什么？

Mark

...and the style number, and the invoice number, and the shipping date. Good. Any questions so far?

型号、发货号码和出货日期。很好，有问题吗？

Rachel

Yeah. What kind of discount do we get?

我们有多少折扣？

Mark

Twenty percent.

八折。

Rachel

Oh!! I love this job! (her phone rings) Wow! My first call.

哦！我爱死这份工作了！（电话响）哇，我的第一通电话。

Mark

Here, let me. (answers phone) Rachel Green's line, how may I help you?

我来。（接电话）瑞秋·葛林，需要我效劳吗？

Ross

(on phone) Hi, is Rachel there?

（电话）嗨，瑞秋在吗？

Mark

And who may I say is calling?

请问是哪一位？

Ross

This is Ross?

我是罗斯。

Mark

Ross of.....

哪位罗斯？

Ross

Of Ross and Rachel.

“罗斯和瑞秋”的罗斯。

Mark

Oh hi. It's, it's Mark.

哦，嗨，我是马克。

Ross

Oh hey, hey Mark.

嗨，马克。

Mark

Hey, hold on a second.

嗨，等一下。

Ross

Okay.

好。

Rachel

Hi honey!

嗨，亲爱的！

Ross

Hi! What's ah, what's Mark doing answering your phone?

嗨！马克怎么会替你接电话？

Rachel

Oh, he's just goofing around.

他只是在瞎混罢了。

Ross

Ohhhhh yeah, that's, that's funny. Why ah, why isn't he goofing around in his own office?

噢……有意思。他干嘛不在自己办公室瞎混？

Rachel

Oh honey, this is his office too. I told you we're Joanna's two assistants.

这里就是他办公室，我说过我们是乔安娜的两个助理。

Ross

Why does Joanna need two assistants, how, how lazy is she?

乔安娜为什么需要两个助理？她很懒吗？

Rachel

Oh! Oh my God! What did I just do?

哦！我的天，我做了什么？

Ross

What?

什么？

Rachel

I think I just shipped 3,000 bras to personnel. Oh honey, I gotta go. (to Mark) Mark, I need you!

我刚把三千副胸罩送到人事部去了。亲爱的，我要挂电话了。（对马克）马克，我需要你！

Ross

Okay, bye-bye. (starts slamming the receiver down in anger.)

好，再见。（生气地用力挂话筒）

Rachel

Ow! Ross!!

啊！罗斯！！

Ross

Oh, oh, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry sweetie, I was just trying to ah, I'm dialing another number. (hangs up)

哦，对不起，甜心，我只是要……我只是要打下一个电话。（挂断）

Jeannine

(to Monica) All right, I just got changed in thirty seconds so you can be alone with him. You'd better go for it.

（对摩妮卡）我30秒钟换好衣服，就是让你跟他独处，你最好赶快展开攻势。

Monica

Please, I'm not going for anything.

我不要展开什么攻势。

Jeannine

Well, if you don't, I will.

你不要的话，我要。

Monica

Would you please go?

拜托你走吧？

Jeannine

Night Mon. Night Julio.

晚安，摩妮卡。晚安，胡利欧。

Julio

(to Jeannine) Adios.

（对珍妮）再见。

(Monica starts wiping down the stools, as Julio follows along behind her replacing the napkin holders.)

（摩妮卡开始擦凳子，胡利欧跟在她后面换纸巾盒。）

Monica

Look Julio, someone left their book here.

胡利欧，有人把书忘在这里了。

Julio

Ah actually, that is mine.

老实说，那是我的书。

Monica

Oh yeah, what are you reading?

你在看什么书？

Julio

Flowers of Evil, by Beaudalire. Have you read it?

波特莱尔的《恶之花》，你看过没有？

Monica

Have I read it? (pause) No, are you enjoying it?

我看过没有？（停顿）没有，你喜欢吗？

Julio

I thought I would, but the translation's no good.

我本来以为我会喜欢，不过翻译得不好。

Monica

You're a poet and don't know it. (she turns away and makes a face like 'I can't believe I just said that.')

你是诗人，居然不懂。（她转过身，做出“我真不敢相信我居然这么说”的表情）

Julio

Actually I ah, I am a poet.

其实我……我是诗人。

Monica

Oh, then you do know it. (pause) So um what kind of things do you write about?

那你一定懂了。（停顿）你都写些什么？

Julio

Things that move me. The, the shadow of a tree, a child laughing, or this lip. (points to her lip)

婆娑树影、童稚笑容，或这片嘴唇。（指着她的嘴唇）

Monica

Mine? (points to her lower lip) Right here?

我的？（指着下唇）这里？

Julio

I can write an epic poem about this lip. (grabs her lower lip)

我可以为这片嘴唇写一部史诗。（捏住她的下唇）

Monica

How would that go? (they kiss) Well, it didn't rhyme, but I liked it.

要怎么写？（接吻）虽然没有押韵，不过我喜欢。

Joey

(singing) You've got to pick a pocket or two. Boyyyyssss, (picks a handkerchief from the pianist's pocket) you've got to pick a pocket or two........

（唱）你们得扒一、两个钱包……孩子们……你得扒一、两个……钱包……

Director

Lovely, just lovely.

真好，太好了。

Joey

Really? Thanks.

真的？谢谢。

Director

Listen Joey, we definitely want to see you for the callback on Saturday.

乔伊，我们非常希望星期六再看到你。

Joey

Excellent, I'll be there.

太好了，我会来的。

Director

Okay, and listen don't forget to bring your jazz shoes for the dance audition.

好，别忘了带你的爵士舞鞋来参加舞蹈试演。

Joey

Ahhh! My ah, my agent said it wasn't a dancing part.

啊！我的经纪人说这个角色不必跳舞。

Director

Joey, all the roles got to dance a little. But believe me with your dance background it'll be a piece of cake.

乔伊，所有的角色都要跳一点舞，但以你的舞蹈背景，小意思罢了。

Chandler

....three years of modern dance with Twila Tharp! Five years with the American Ballet Theater?!

追随妥拉萨普学习三年现代舞？在美国芭蕾舞团待了五年？

Joey

Hey, everybody lies on their resume, okay. I wasn't one of the Zoom Kids either.

谁的履历表不灌水？我也没有演过Zoom。

Phoebe

Well, can you dance at all?

你到底会不会跳舞？

Joey

Yeah, I can dance, y'know. (starts to dance really, really, really badly)

我会跳舞，你知道……（开始跳得极差）

Chandler

Oh no, no, no, no.

哦，不，不，不。

Phoebe

(covering her mouth in shock) What, what is that?

（震惊地捂住嘴）这是干什么？

Joey

Sure, it looks stupid now, there's no music playing.

现在看起来很蠢，因为没有放音乐。

(phone rings)

（电话铃响）

Chandler

All right, I have to get that, but no-no. (answering phone) Hello? (listens) (happily) Hi! Yeah listen, I'm, I'm in need of a stripper and I was told that you do that. (listens) Let me ask you this, what, what do you do for the extra hundred? (listens) So would I, would I have to provide the grapes?

我得去接电话，不过……（接电话）喂？（听）（高兴地）嗨！听我说，我需要个脱衣舞娘，我听说你是跳脱衣舞的。（听）我问你，你多收一百块可以额外提供什么服务？（听）那我要提供葡萄吗？

Monica

(entering) Hi!

（走进来）嗨！

Phoebe

Oh, how was last night with Julio, senorita?

你昨晚跟胡利欧约会情况怎么样，小姐？

Monica

It was soo amazing, he is so sexy, and smart, which makes him even sexier. Oh gosh, I gotta tell you this. Last night, we were fooling around and he stops to write a poem.

简直不可思议，他性感又聪明，这让他显得更性感。哦，天哪，我得告诉你，昨晚我们亲热的时候他突然停下来写诗。

Joey

Get out! I couldn't stop if a meteor hit me.

少来了！我就算被陨石打中也停不下来。

Chandler

Okay, we have our stripper. A miss Crystal Chandelier.

我们请了脱衣舞娘“水晶吊灯小姐”。

Joey

Well sure, you name a kid that, what do you expect them to grow up to be?

给小孩取这种名字，长大了还能做什么？

Monica

Anyway um, when he left he forgot to take the poem with him. Now, I am like totally dense about poetry, but I think it's pretty good all right. Check it out. (hands them the poem)

但他忘了把这首诗带走。我看不懂诗，不过我觉得这是一首好诗，你们看看。（递给他们）

Joey

(reading) The Empty Vase. Translucent beauty...

（念）“空花瓶，半透明的美……”

Chandler

(to himself) To yourself. (finishing) Hey-hey-hey, y'know what that's pretty good.

（自言自语）不要念出来。嘿嘿，写得很好。

Monica

Oh good, I think so too. Pheebs?

对，我也觉得。菲比？

Phoebe

Oh yeah.

哦，对。

Monica

Oh, I'm so glad you guys like it. Yay! All right I gotta go to work. (tries to take the poem)

太棒了我真高兴。好，我得去上班了。（想把诗拿回来）

Joey

Whoa, I'm not done.

哇，我还没看完。

Monica

All right, just give it back to me when you're done. See you guys.

好，看完再还给我。回头见。

Chandler

Bye-bye.

再见。

(Monica leaves)

（摩妮卡离开）

Phoebe

Oh my God, oh my God! Poor Monica!

我的天！可怜的摩妮卡！

Chandler

What, what, what?!

怎么了？

Phoebe

What?! He was with her when he wrote this poem. Look, (reading) 'My vessel so empty with nothing inside. Now that I've touched you, you seem emptier still.' He thinks Monica is empty, she is the empty vase!

他在跟她亲热的时候写这首诗。你看，“我的花瓶如此美丽，内里空无一物；如今我伸手触摸，你看似更加空洞。”她觉得摩妮卡很空洞，她是个空花瓶！

Chandler

You really think that is what he meant?

你真的觉得他是这个意思？

Phoebe

Oh, totally. Oh, God, oh, she seemed so happy too.

一点都没错。老天，她看起来好幸福。

Joey

Done.

看完了。

Mark

(reaching through the flowers) Do you have the, the Ralph Lauren file?

（伸手穿过花束）你有圣罗兰的档案吗？

Rachel

Oh, yeah, sure, it's umm... (she picks up this bug and it starts to play the theme from Love Story)

当然有，就在……（她拿起一个虫子玩具，它开始播放《爱情故事》的主题曲）

Mark

Wh-what's that?

那是什么？

Ross

It's from Ross, it's a love bug.

是罗斯送的，爱的金龟。

Mark

Wow! Somebody wants people to know you have a boyfriend.

哇，他想向全世界宣告你已经名花有主了。

Rachel

Oh no, no-no-no, that's not, not, not what he is doing. He's just, he's just really romantic.

哦，不，他不是这个意思，他只是非常浪漫罢了。

Man

(to Rachel) Ah, excuse me, are you Rachel Green?

（对瑞秋）对不起，你是瑞秋·格林吗？

Rachel

Yes.

对。

Man

(being joined by the rest of the barbershop quartet) One, two, three...

（其他理发店四重唱成员加入）1、2、3……

Quartet

(singing) Congratulations on your first week at your brand new job! It won't be long before you're the boss.

（唱）恭喜你履新职的第一周，要不了多久你就会当老板了。

The Bass Barber

Omm-pah, omm-pah, omm-pah.

等等等等。

Quartet

(singing) And you know who will be there to support... you?! Your one and only boyfriend...

（唱）你知道到时候谁会支持你？就是你唯一的男朋友……

The Bass Barber

It's nice to have a boyfriend.

有男朋友真好。

Quartet

Your loyal loving boyfriend Ross..... Ross!

你忠心、深情的男友，罗斯——罗斯！

Commercial Break

广告

Ross

I'm hurt! I'm actually hurt, that you would think that I would send you any of those things out of any thing other than love. Hurt! Hurt!

我伤心，我真的很伤心。你居然以为我送那些东西不是出于对你的爱。伤心！

Rachel

All right Ross!! I get it!!

好了，罗斯，我懂了！

Ross

I mean my God...

我的天……

Rachel

You're hurt!

你很伤心！

Ross

...can't, can't a guy send a barbershop quartet to his girlfriend's office anymorrrrre!!

男人不能请理发店四重唱到女朋友的办公室吗？

Rachel

Oh, please, Ross it was so obvious! It was like you were marking your territory. I mean you might have well have just come in and peed all around my desk!

拜托，罗斯，这实在太明显了！你好像在划定地盘，你干脆到办公室来，在我的桌子周围撒尿好了！

Ross

I would never do that!

我绝对不会这么做！

Rachel

Look, I know what's going on here, okay, Mark explained it all to me. He said this is what you guys do.

听我说，我知道这是怎么回事。马克都跟我解释过了，他说你们男人就是这样。

Ross

Yeah well if, if, if Mark said that, then Mark's an idiot.

如果马克这么说，那马克就是白痴。

Joey

Mark's a genius!

马克是个天才！

Ross

Why?! How?! How is he a genius?

为什么？怎么说？他为什么会是天才？

Chandler

Look, don't you see what's happening here. Instead of hitting on her right away, he's becoming her confidant. Now he's gonna be the guy she goes to to complain about you.

你还看不出来吗？他没有勾引她，反而当了她的手帕交。现在她就会跑去跟他抱怨你。

Ross

What am I going to do?

我该怎么办？

Chandler

Well, why don't you send her a musical bug, op, no you already did that. All right look, you're going to have to go there yourself now, okay, make a few surprise visits.

何不送她一个音乐金龟？哦不，你已经送过了。好吧，你得亲自过去，偶尔让她惊喜一下。

Ross

I don't know you guys.

我不知道。

Chandler

All right fine, don't do anything, just sit here and talk to us, meanwhile she is talking to him about you. And he's being Mr. Joe Sensitive, and she starts thinking 'Maybe this is the guy for me, because he understands me.'

很好，不要轻举妄动，坐着跟我们聊天。这时候她正在跟他谈你，他对她体贴入微，她在想“也许他就是我的伴侣，他这么了解我。”

Joey

And before you know it, she's with him. And you'll be all, 'Ohh, man!' And he'll be all, 'Yes!' And us, we'll be like, 'Wh-whoa, dude.' And pretty soon you'll be like, (sadly) 'Hhiii,' and, and, and, 'I can't go, Rachel and Mark might be there.' And we'll be like, 'Man get over it, it's been four years!!'

你还没搞清楚状况，她就跟他在一起了。你就会说“老天”，他会说“太棒了”，我们都会说“傻瓜”。很快你就会说“嗨”，还有“我不能去，瑞秋和马克可能在那里”。我们会说“忘了吧，已经四年了！”

Chandler

He paints quite a picture doesn't he?

他说得活灵活现，不是吗？

Woman

(walking up to Mark) Here's the Shelly Siegal stuff from December.

（走向马克）这是雪丽·席格12月的设计。

Mark

(turning around) And wait, I've got something for you. (kisses her)

（转身）等等，我有东西要给你。（吻她）

Woman

Mark!!

马克！

Mark

It's okay, Rachel knows.

没关系，瑞秋知道。

Woman

Yeah, but even so.

对，但就算是这样……

Mark

I can't help it, I'm just, I'm just crazy about you.

我控制不了，我为你疯狂。

Rachel

Ohhh! That is so sweet! (gets up to get herself a cup of coffee)

哦！你真会讲话！（起身去倒咖啡）

(Ross is eavesdropping in the hallway.)

（罗斯在走廊偷听。）

Mark

Okay, okay look, I know I'm being Mr. Inappropriate today, but it's just so tough, I mean see you walking around and I just wanna touch you and hold you, come on no one's around, just, just kiss me.

我知道我老是做不得体的事，但是这真的好难。看着你走来走去，我好想把你抱在怀里。来，这里没有人，吻我吧。

(They start to kiss, and Ross rushes into the office to break it up.)

（他们开始接吻，罗斯冲进来制止。）

Ross

All right that's, that's it!! Get off her!

好了，够了！放开她！

Mark

What is going on?

怎么回事？

Ross

What's going on?! (throws the love bug at him) That's what's going on!!

怎么回事？（把爱情金龟扔向他）我告诉你！

Rachel

(now standing behind Ross) Ross!

（现在站在罗斯身后）罗斯！

(Ross finally looks at the woman kissing Mark.)

（罗斯终于看清了吻马克的女人。）

Ross

I have been down in your store for twenty minutes trying to get a tie! What do I have to do to get some service?! (turns to Rachel) Hi Rach. (He puts his hand on her shoulder and she knocks it away.)

我在你们公司找领带找了20分钟！要怎么样才有人来服务我？（转向瑞秋）嗨，瑞秋。（他把手放在她肩上，她把他的手打开。）

Director

Ah Joey. Joey Tribbiani. Listen Joey, I got a problem, I just got a call from my dance captain, he's having a relationship crisis and can't get out of Long Island.

乔伊·崔比安尼。乔伊，现在出了问题，舞蹈领队打电话来，他感情出现危机不能离开长岛。

Joey

So, does that mean the audition is off?

这表示试演取消了吗？

Director

Listen Joey, seeing as you've got the most experience, I want you to take these dancers and show them the combination.

既然你的经验丰富，我希望你来带舞者动作。

Joey

What?!

什么？

Director

Aw come on Joey, it's easy. Y'know, it's hand, hand, head, head, (very quickly, Joey watches stunned) up, pas de bouree, pas de bouree, big turn here, grand sissone, sissone, sissone, slide back, step, step, step, and jazz hands!

好啦，很简单嘛！你知道，就是手、手、头、头（乔伊惊呆地看着），抬起来、不要挤在一起、大旋转、腿转圈、腿转圈、腿转圈、滑过来、一步、再一步，还有爵士手势！

Joey

It's ah, step-ity, step and jazz hands.

这么说是踏步舞步和爵士手势。

Director

Have fun.

跳得高兴点。

Joey

Bye. (does the jazz hands)

再见。（做爵士手势）

Phoebe

(entering) Hey!

（走进来）嘿！

Monica

Hey.

嘿。

Phoebe

What are you wrapping?

你在包什么？

Monica

Oh-ho, look what I got Julio.

哦哦，看我送胡利欧什么？

Phoebe

Yeah, it's a vase.

是个花瓶。

Monica

Yeah, just like the one in the poem.

就像他那首诗。

Phoebe

Well not exactly like the one in the poem.

不完全跟那首诗一样。

Monica

What do you mean?

此话怎讲？

Phoebe

Remember how you said you were really dense about poetry? Oh. (hugs her)

记得你说过你不会看诗吗？哦。（拥抱她）

Monica

(to Julio) So! I'm just an empty vase, huh?

（对胡利欧）这么说我只是个空洞的花瓶？

Julio

What?

什么？

Monica

Y'know, so I don't read as many important books as you do, and I don't write tricky poems that seem to be about one thing but are actually about something else. And y'know what, I get excited about stupid stuff, like when my People magazine comes on Saturday, and the new Hold Everything catalog. Y'know but that does not mean that I'm empty, I care about things. I care about my friends and family. You have no right to make that kind of judgment about me.

好，我不像你那样常看名著，我也不写表里不一的怪诗。我喜欢愚蠢的东西，就像我的《时人》杂志来的时候，还有《抓住一切》的型录来的时候。但这并不表示我是空洞的！我关心我的家人和朋友，你没有权利批判我。

Julio

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

哇、哇、哇。

Monica

You don't even know me...

你根本不了解我……

Julio

Whoa, whoa, whoa, the poem is not about you.

这首诗讲的不是你。

Monica

What?

什么？

Julio

The Empty Vase is not about you. My baby, you make me so sad that you would think this.

《空花瓶》讲的不是你。我亲爱的宝贝，你居然这么想，我好难过。

Monica

I'm sorry, my friend Phoebe...

对不起，我朋友菲比说……

Julio

No, it's about all women. Well, all American women. You feel better now?

不，这是讲所有的女人，应该是说……全美国的女人。释怀了没有？

Monica

(sarcastically) Oh yeah.

（讽刺地）哦，对。

Director

All right, let's do it!

好，来吧！

(The group does the same horrible dance that Joey did earlier in the show, except they're all out of sync and they do the jazz hands at the end.)

（众人表演乔伊之前跳过的可怕舞蹈，但动作七零八落，最后做了爵士手势。）

Director

No, no, no. What was that?

不、不、不，那是什么玩意儿？

Joey

I know, it was the best I could get out of them.

他们最多只能跳到这个程度。

Director

Well, people!

各位……

Joey

People, people, people.

各位、各位、各位。

Director

Let's try it again, and this time let's watch everybody watch Joey. (to Joey) Show 'em how it's done. (to the pianist) Count it off.

我们再试一次，这次大家好好看着乔伊。（对乔伊）教他们怎么跳。（对钢琴师）弹琴，麦克。

(The pianist starts to play, and Joey readies himself, and then runs out of the audition.)

（钢琴师开始弹，乔伊做好准备，然后跑出了试演现场。）

Rachel

So ah, did you have fun at the bachelor party last night?

你昨晚参加告别单身派对，玩得开心吗？

Chandler

Oh yeah, yeah! Look what I got, look what I got. (holds up a pen) See, she's fully dressed, right?

哦，对，对！看我拿到什么？（举起一支笔）看，她穿着衣服，对吗？

Rachel

Right.

对。

Chandler

And then you click it and, uh-oh, she's naked. And then, and then you click it again and she's dressed. She's a business woman, she's walking down the street, she's window shopping, and (clicks pen) whoa-whoa-whoa, sh-she's naked! (Rachel just stares at him.)

然后按一下，她裸体了！然后再按一下她又穿上衣服了。她是个做生意的女人，走在大街上，她在逛橱窗。哦，她裸体了！（瑞秋只是瞪着他。）

Ross

(entering) Hi.

（走进来）嗨。

Rachel

Hello.

哈罗。

Chandler

Y'know what, I'm, I'm gonna spend some alone time with the pen.

我要跟这只笔独处一阵子。

Ross

(sits down next to her) I'm sorry, I was an idiot.

（坐到她旁边）对不起，我是个白痴。

Rachel

A big idiot.

大白痴。

Ross

A big idiot. Just you have to realize is, this whole Mark thing is kinda hard for me.

大白痴。你必须了解，马克这件事我很难接受。

(Gunther is eavesdropping in the background.)

（甘瑟在背景中偷听。）

Rachel

Honey, why is it hard, I mean we've been together for almost a year now?

亲爱的，为什么？我们在一起快一年了。

Ross

Well, I was with Carol for like eight years and I lost her. And now if it's possible I think I love you even more. So, it's hard for me to believe that I'm not gonna, well that someone else is not going to take you away.

我跟卡洛在一起八年了，而我失去了她。现在，我想我爱你比爱她更深。所以我很难相信……别人不会把你夺走。

Gunther

Let it be me! Let it be me!

让我夺走她吧！让我夺走她吧！

Rachel

Honey, that's very sweet, it just seems to me though, that if two people love each other and trust each other, like we do, there's no reason to be jealous. (she kisses him)

亲爱的，你的话好窝心。我只是觉得，如果两个人彼此相爱、彼此信任，像我们这样，就没有理由嫉妒。（她吻他）

Ross

I gotta get going. Bye Chandler.

我得走了。再见，钱德。

Chandler

Oh, okay Ross. Listen, this pen is kinda getting boring, so can you pick me up some porn?

哦，好。罗斯，这枝笔有点无聊了，可以帮我拿几本色情杂志吗？

Rachel

Where ya going?

你要去哪里？

Ross

Oh, I've got to go pick up Ben, we've got a play date this afternoon.

我得去接班，带他跟别人出去玩。

Rachel

Ohh, with who?

跟谁？

Ross

Oh, just this woman that I met last night at the party.

跟我昨晚在派对上认识的女人。

Rachel

There was a woman at the... (realizes) The stripper?!

昨晚派对的女人？（意识到）脱衣舞娘？

Ross

Yeah.

对。

Rachel

You have a play date with a stripper?!

你跟脱衣舞娘一起出去玩？

Chandler

Man, I gotta get a kid. (looks at the pen and starts laughing)

老天，我得生个孩子才行。（看着笔笑起来）

Ross

Ah, yeah, yeah. Umm, we started talking after she y'know, did her thing. And it turns out she's got a boy about Ben's age, so we're taking them to a gym-boree class. Why, is that okay?

她跳玩脱衣舞之后我们开始聊天，她有个和班年龄相仿的儿子，我们要带孩子去上健保园。可以吗？

Rachel

Sure, is she married?

当然可以，她结婚没有？

Ross

Ahh, no.

没有。

Rachel

Oh. (starts shaking the sugar down in a packet really hard.)

哦。（开始使劲摇糖包）

Ross

Are you jealous?

你嫉妒吗？

Rachel

Noo, I y'know I don't see why she has to play with you, that's all. I mean doesn't she have any y'know other stripper moms friends of her own?

不，我不懂她干嘛跟你出去玩。她没有其他当妈妈的脱衣舞娘朋友吗？

Ross

You are totally jealous.

你嫉妒得要命。

Rachel

I'm not jealous. All right this is about, umm, people feeling certain things y'know about strippers. And y'know, and um, I...

我才没有嫉妒。这是因为……人们对脱衣舞娘……都有某种……看法，你知道……

Ross

Honey, I love you too.

我也爱你。

Rachel

Ugh. Wait, wait, wait.

呃……等等。

Ross

What?

干嘛？

(She runs over and gives him a very passionate kiss.)

（她跑过去给了他一个深情的吻。）

Ross

Huh.

嗯。

Rachel

(to Chandler) Well, there's a kiss that he won't forget for a couple of hours, y'know.

（对钱德）这个吻可以让他回味好几个小时。

Chandler

Yeah. Either that, or you just turned him on and sent him off to a stripper.

否则，你刚煽起他的火来，反而便宜了脱衣舞娘。

Closing Credits

片尾

Man

(entering) Is there a Julio here?

（走进来）胡利欧在这里吗？

Julio

(to him) I am Julio.

（对他）我就是胡利欧。

(The rest of barbershop quartet enters, and joins him.)

（四重唱其他成员走进来，一起站到他面前。）

Man

(singing) Mister Pretentious, (Monica stands up in the background) you think there's no one finer, well but your poems are unpublished, and you work in a diner.

（唱）马屁精先生，你自以为好得不得了。你的诗都没出版，你在餐厅工作。

Quartet

You're no God's gift to women, that's all in your headddd. You are just a buttmunch.

你不是上帝对女人的恩赐，这只是你自以为是。你只是个马屁精。

Bass Singer

No one likes a buttmunch.

没人喜欢马屁精。

Quartet

And you're also bad in bedd-edd-edd!

你的床上工夫也很烂！

(Monica waves at Julio.)

（摩妮卡向胡利欧挥手。）

End

结束