The One Where Chandler Can't Remember Which Sister

Joey

Okay, pick a card, any card. (Monica picks one) All right, now memorize it. Show to everybody. Got it?

好，随便选一张。（摩妮卡选了一张）好，记住，给大家看。好了吗？

Monica

Um-mm.

嗯。

Joey

All right, give it back to me. (takes the card back, but he looks at the card before he puts it back in the deck, he holds the deck to his forehead, and thinks a little while) 5 of hearts.

好，还给我。（把牌拿回来，但在放回牌堆前看了一眼，然后把牌举到额头想了一会）红心5。

(Monica is sarcastically amazed.)

（摩妮卡假装吃惊。）

Ross

Real magic does exist.

这真是太神奇了。

Rachel

Wow.

哇。

Monica

Wow. Joey, (sarcastically) how do you do it?

哇，乔伊，（讽刺地）你怎么变出来的？

Joey

I can't tell you that, no.

天机不可泄漏。

(We hear some knocking coming from the ceiling.)

（我们听到天花板上传来敲门声。）

Ross

Ah, somebody's at the door on the ceiling.

天花板上有人叫门了。

Rachel

Noo, that's our unbelievably loud upstairs neighbor.

不是，那是我们楼上的芳邻吵得要命。

Monica

He took up the carpet, and now you can hear everything.

他把地毯拆掉，现在简直是鸡犬声相闻。

Phoebe

Why don't you go up there and ask him to 'step lightly, please?'

干脆请他“轻声漫步”好了。

Monica

I have like five times, but the guy is so charming, that I go up there to yell and then I end up apologizing to him.

我试过五次了，但那家伙魅力无穷，我上去大呼小叫，最后还跟他赔不是。

Phoebe

Ooh, that is silly. (gets up) I'll go up there, I'll tell him to keep it down.

太荒谬了。（起身）我上去叫他小声点。

Monica

All right, be my guest.

好，请便。

Rachel

Good luck.

祝你好运。

(Phoebe exits)

（菲比离开）

Joey

All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, I'll show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didn't see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, I'll slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)

好啦，好啦，如果你们想知道我是怎么变的，我就告诉你们。你把牌还给我的时候趁你们不注意，我很快看一眼，肉眼是看不到的。（拿起一张牌快速看一眼）我刚才办到了。（又做一次）又来一次。来，我放慢动作让你们看。（慢动作看牌）

All

Oh, I got it.

我懂了。

(We hear Phoebe knock at the door upstairs, and the guy answer it.)

（我们听到菲比敲楼上的门，一个男人开门。）

Phoebe

(muffled through the floor) Yeah, look I was with my friend downstairs and we hear everything up here that you do, and I am sick and tired... (the rest is unintelligible)

（隔着地板闷声）我刚才看到珍妮丝了，她在洛克斐勒中心和她丈夫溜冰，看起来好幸福，我简直不忍心拿那个小孩的椒盐卷饼打他们。

Guy

(muffled) Whoa, you are very beautiful.

（闷声）我干掉我丈夫之后就是调这种酒来喝。

Phoebe

(muffled) Oh, thank you.

（闷声）好，我不知道该怎么跟你说话。

Opening Credits

片头

Chandler

(entering) Hey, anybody got a length of rope about six feet long with a little noose at the end?

（走进来）谁有一条六尺长的绳子，末端打了活结的？

Monica

Honey, what's the matter?

亲爱的，怎么了？

Chandler

I just saw Janice.

我刚才看到珍妮丝了。

All

Oh.

哦。

Chandler

Yeah, she was at Rockefeller Center skating with her husband, she looked so happy. I almost feel bad for whipping that kid's pretzel at them.

她在洛克斐勒中心和她丈夫溜冰，看起来好幸福。我简直不忍心拿那个小孩的椒盐卷饼打他们。

Joey

Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.

我记得我跟凯萨琳分手后第一次跟她见面的情形，她跟她朋友唐娜走在一块儿说笑。老天，我难过死了。

Chandler

Yes, but you ended up having sex with both of them that afternoon.

但你那天下午和她们两个上床了。

Joey

Sorry, I just, any excuse to tell that story y'know....

对不起，我就是不计一切地要讲那件事。

Ross

Hey Chandler, there's a party tomorrow, you'll feel better then.

钱德，明天要开派对，你就会高兴一点了。

Chandler

Oh, y'know what, I'm gonna be okay, you don't have to throw a party for me.

我不会有事的，你们不必为我开派对。

Monica

It's Joey's birthday.

是乔伊的生日派对。

Chandler

Oh, well then, if anybody should have a party it should be him.

如果有人应该开派对，那就非乔伊莫属。

(We hear Phoebe's muffled voice through the ceiling.)

（我们听到菲比闷声从天花板传来。）

Monica

Sush!! I cannot believe she is still up there.

嘘！我真不敢相信她还在楼上。

(We hear the guy telling a joke, and Phoebe laughing.)

（我们听到那男人讲笑话，菲比大笑。）

Chandler

Okay, well he totally screwed up the punch line. Y'know, it's supposed to be arrghh-eh og-errigh.

他把关键句完全念砸了。你知道，应该是……

Mr. Kaplan

(entering) How's that coffee comin,' dear?

（走进来）咖啡好了没有，亲爱的？

Rachel

(jumping up from reading her magazine) Yeah, right away Mr. Kaplan.

（从看杂志中跳起来）马上来，卡普兰先生。

Mr. Kaplan

I'm not supposed to drink coffee, it makes me gassy.

我不应该喝咖啡，老是放屁。

Rachel

I know!

我知道！

Mr. Kaplan

I'll bet your thinking, 'What's an intelligent girl who wants to be in fashion, doing making coffee?' Eh?

你一定在想“这么聪明的女孩，有志在服装界大展鸿图，怎么在这里泡咖啡？”嗯？

Rachel

Op.

啊。

Mr. Kaplan

Eh.

嗯。

Rachel

Oh, you got me.

被你猜中了。

Mr. Kaplan

Well, don't think I haven't noticed your potential. Well, I've got a project for you that's a lot more related to fashion. How does that sound?

别以为我没注意到你的潜力。我有一份和时装很有关系的工作要交给你。你觉得怎么样？

Rachel

Oh, that sounds great.

太棒了。

Mr. Kaplan

Come on over here, sweetheart. (they walk over to a storage closet)

过来，甜心。（他们走到储物间）

Rachel

Oh thank you so much Mr. Kaplan, thank you so much.

太感谢了，卡普兰先生，太感谢了。

Mr. Kaplan

(opening the closet door revealing that it's full of tangled up hangers.) I need these hangers separated ASAP. (she is stunned) You're welcome.

（打开门，里面全是缠在一起的衣架）我要马上把这些衣架分开。（她目瞪口呆）不客气。

Rachel

Oh God, I hate my job, I hate it, I hate my job, I hate it.

老天，我痛恨我的工作，恨死了……

Monica

I know honey, I'm sorry.

我知道，亲爱的，我很遗憾。

Rachel

Oh, I wanna quit, but then I think I should stick it out, then I think why would such a person stay in such a demeaning job, just because it's remotely related to the field they're interested in.

我想辞职，但我又觉得应该挺下去，然后我又想……为什么要做这种有损尊严的工作？难道只因为这份工作和我的兴趣有一点点关系吗？

Monica

(gives her a look) Gee, I don't know Rach. Order up!! I got a Yentel soup, a James Beans, and a Howdy hold the Dowdy!

（看了她一眼）老天，我不知道，瑞秋。点菜吧！杨朵汤、詹姆斯豆，随便你点什么都行！

Rachel

Oh honey, come on, I'm sorry, I didn't.... I don't mind paying my dues, y'know, its just how much am I gonna learn about fashion by walking Mira, the arthritic seamstress, to the bathroom.

好了，对不起，我不是……我不介意吃苦，但搀扶得了关节炎的女裁缝上厕所，我要怎样才能够学会什么叫时装？

(A guy at the end of the table starts laughing.)

（餐桌另一头一个男人开始笑。）

Rachel

(to him) Hi! Is my misery amusing to you?

（对他）嗨，你觉得我的苦难很有趣吗？

Guy

I'm sorry, I wa, I wa, I was just ah.... (starts to laugh again)

对不起，我只是……（又笑起来）

Rachel

It's not funny, this is actually my job.

这不好笑，这就是我的工作。

Guy

Oh believe me, I-I-I've been there. I had to sort mannequin heads at that Mannequins Plus.

相信我，我是过来人。我以前是在人体模特儿公司，给模特儿的头分类的。

Rachel

Oh well then, so I'm just going to go back to talking to my friend here. And you can go back to enjoying your little hamburger.

那我继续跟我朋友聊天，你可以继续享用你的汉堡。

Guy

Ah, just one other thing.

还有一件事。

Rachel

Yes?!

什么？

Guy

I ah, I work at Bloomingdale's and I might know of a job possibility if you're, if you're interested?

我在布鲁明戴尔百货公司上班，如果你有兴趣，我有个可能的工作机会。

Rachel

(looks at Monica) (to him) Do you want my pickle?

（看看摩妮卡）（对他）想吃我的腌黄瓜吗？

Gunther

(to Monica and Phoebe) Hey guys.

（对摩妮卡和菲比）大家好。

Monica

Hey Gunther. Hi. (to Phoebe) I mean you're going out on a date with the noisy guy upstairs?

嘿，甘瑟。嗨。（对菲比）你要跟楼上吵闹的邻居约会？

Phoebe

Well, he's very charming.

他很迷人。

Monica

I know, he's too charming, but if you two start going out, then it's just gonna make it so much harder for me to hate him.

他太迷人了，但如果你们交往，我就更难讨厌他了。

Phoebe

Well, you're just gonna have to try.

你只得尽力而为。

Monica

Joey, where are the Jell-o shots?

乔伊，酒果冻哪里去了？

Joey

I don't know, Chandler is supposed to be passin' 'em around...

不知道，钱德应该要端出去……

(Camera cuts to show Chandler giving a Jello shot to the ceramic dog and holding an empty tray of Jello shots.)

（镜头切到钱德把酒果冻喂给陶瓷狗，手里拿着空托盘。）

Joey

Chandler!

钱德！

Chandler

Hello-dillillio!!

哈罗！

Ross

Oh, somebody's feeling better.

看来你心情好多了。

Monica

(to Chandler) Stick out your tongue.

（对钱德）把舌头伸出来。

Chandler

(to Monica) Take off your shirt!

（对摩妮卡）把衣服脱下来！

(Chandler sticks out his tongue and it's a horrible shade of green.)

（钱德伸出舌头，绿得可怕。）

Monica

Oh my!!

我的天！

Joey

Oh my God! How many of these things did you have? These are pure vodka.

天哪！你吃了多少？这是纯伏特加做的。

Chandler

Yeah, Jell-o just like Mom used to make.

对，果冻，有妈妈的味道。

Rachel

(entering, to Ross) The most unbelievable thing happened to me today.

（走进来，对罗斯）我今天碰上了最不可思议的事。

Ross

Hi!

嗨！

Rachel

Hi! So I'm out having lunch at Monica's and this guy starts talking to me, and it turns out he works for a buyer at Bloomingdale's and there happens to be an opening in his department. So I gave him my phone number and he's gonna call me this weekend to see if he can get me an interview!

嗨！我在摩妮卡的餐厅吃午饭，有个家伙跟我说话，他是布鲁明戴尔的采购助理，他们的部门要找人。我就把我的电话给了他，他这个周末要打电话给我，帮我安排面试！

Ross

Wow!

哇！

Rachel

I know!

是啊！

Ross

What, so this guy is helping you for no apparent reason?

那家伙没有任何理由地帮你？

Rachel

Uh-huh!

对！

Ross

And he's, he's a total stranger?

你根本不认识他？

Rachel

Yeah! His name is um, Mark something.

对，他叫“马克”什么的。

Ross

Huh. Sounds like Mark Something wants to have some sex.

看来马克什么的不怀好意。

Rachel

What!?

什么？

Ross

Well, I'm just saying, I mean why else would he just, y'know, swoop in out of nowhere for no reason.

不然他干嘛莫名其妙地冒出来？

Rachel

To be nice.

日行一善啊。

Ross

Hey, Joey. Are men ever nice to strange women for no reason?

嘿，乔伊，男人会不会莫名其妙地对陌生女子好？

Joey

No, only for sex.

不会，男人只想上床而已。

Ross

Thank you. (to Rachel) So did you ah, did you tell Mark Something about me?

谢谢。（对瑞秋）你有没有跟马克什么的提起我？

Rachel

I didn't have to, because I was wearing my 'I heart Ross' sandwich board and ringing my bell.

我用不着提，我穿着“我爱罗斯”的广告牌，而且一直摇着铃。

Ross

Uh-huh.

嗯。

Joey's Sisters

(entering) Joey!!! Happy Birthday!! (all 7 of them look almost identical)

（走进来）乔伊！！！生日快乐！！（七个几乎长得一模一样）

Joey

Hey!! Hey-hey-hey!

嘿！嘿嘿嘿！

Chandler

(to Monica) Okay, how many of that girl are you seeing?

（对摩妮卡）你跟多少个女孩交往？

Monica

How hammered are you? Huh? These, these are Joey's sisters.

你头壳坏去了吗？她们是乔伊的姊妹。

Chandler

Hi Joey's sisters!

嗨，乔伊的姊妹！

Phoebe

(to one of his sisters, Cookie) Hey!

（对其中一个妹妹，库奇）嘿！

Cookie

Hey. What are we drinkin' over here.

你喝的是什么？

Phoebe

Well, I have ah, vodka and cranberry juice.

我喝的是伏特加和小红莓汁。

Cookie

No kiddin,' that's the exact same drink I made myself right after I shot my husband.

真的？我干掉我丈夫之后就是调这种酒来喝。

Phoebe

Wow. Okay, I don't know how to talk to you.

好，我不知道该怎么跟你说话。

(Cut to Chandler)

（切到钱德）

Sister 1: (to Chandler) What 'cha doing?

妹妹1：（对钱德）你在干嘛？

Chandler

Oh, I'm taking my ex-girlfriend off my speed dialer.

把我前任女友的快速拨号删除。

Joey's Sisters

Oh!!

哦！

Chandler

No-no-no-no, no, it's a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why can't we savor the precious moments? (to one of Joey's sisters) Those are some huge breasts you have.

不，这是好事。我们要快速拨号干嘛？干嘛赶来赶去的？我们为什么不能珍惜美好时光？（对乔伊的一个妹妹）你胸部好大。

(Cut to Ross and Monica)

（切到罗斯和摩妮卡）

Ross

Hi.

嗨。

Monica

Hi.

嗨。

Ross

Yeah. So um, I-I heard about this ah, Mark guy that ah, Rachel met today.

我听说了瑞秋今天遇到的那个叫马克的家伙。

Monica

Isn't that great?

很棒，不是吗？

Ross

Oh yeah! So ah, kinda pretty, pretty good. He sounds like a nice, good guy.

对，是很棒。看样子他是个好人。

Monica

Oh, he is. And he is so dreamy. I mean, y'know what, when he left I actually used the phrase, 'Hummina-hummina-hummina.' (walks away)

他简直太完美了。他走的时候，我是这么说的……（走开）

Ross

That's excellent.

太了不起了。

Ross

(to Rachel) So, he's just a nice guy. You really think this Mark doesn't want anything in exchange for helping him?

（对瑞秋）这么说他只是个大好人罢了。你真的认为这个叫马克的是不求回报地帮你？

Rachel

Well, I assume I'll have to take showers with him, but y'know, that's true of any job.

我想我得跟他洗鸳鸯浴，不过哪份工作不是这样。

(Chandler enters hungover and groaning)

（钱德宿醉进来，呻吟着）

Monica

How ya feelin'?

你感觉怎么样？

Chandler

Well, my apartment isn't there anymore, because I drank it.

我的公寓已经不存在了，因为全被我喝掉了。

Phoebe

Where'd you get to? We lost you after you opened up all the presents.

你去哪里了？你拆了礼物之后我们就找不到你了。

Ross

Yeah.

是啊。

Chandler

Yeah, I ended up in the storage room, and not alone.

我后来跑到贮藏室，而且不只我一个人。

All

Woooo hoooo!!!

喔！！！

Chandler

Ow, no 'woo-hooing,' no 'woo-hooing.'

不要再叫了……

Phoebe

Why, what happened?

怎么了，出了什么事？

Chandler

Ah, I fooled around with Joey's sister. (Phoebe gasps) Well, that's not the worst part.

我跟乔伊的姊妹瞎搞。（菲比吸了口气）这还不是最糟糕的。

Monica

What is the worst part?

那最糟糕的是什么？

Chandler

I can't remember which sister.

我不记得是哪个姊妹。

Ross

(to Rachel) You see what men do! Don't tell me men are not nice! (points to Chandler) This is men!!

（对瑞秋）你看到没有？别说男人有好人。这就是男人！！

Commercial Break

广告

Monica

Are you insane? I mean Joey, is going to kill you, he's actually going to kill you dead.

你疯了不成？乔伊会杀了你，他真的会把你杀得死死的。

Chandler

Okay! You don't think I thought of that?

你以为我没想到吗？

Phoebe

How can you not know which one?

你怎么会不知道是哪一个？

Rachel

I mean that's unbelievable.

简直无法置信。

Monica

I mean, was it Gina?

是吉娜吗？

Ross

Which one is Gina?

哪个是吉娜？

Rachel

Dark, big hair, with the airplane earrings.

黑皮肤、蓬蓬头，戴着飞机耳环。

Monica

No, no, no, that's Dina.

那是迪娜，不是吉娜。

Chandler

(to Monica) You see you can't tell which one is which either, dwha!!

（对摩妮卡）看到没？你们也分不清谁是谁。

Phoebe

We didn't fool around with any of them. Dwha! Dwha!

我们可没有跟哪个胡搅。

Chandler

Veronica. Look, it's got to be Veronica, the girl in the red skirt. I definitely stuck my tongue down her throat.

一定是薇若妮卡，那个穿红裙子的女孩。我确实把我的舌头伸到她的喉咙里。

Monica

That was me.

那个是我。

Chandler

Look, when I've been drinking, sometimes I tend to get overly friendly, and I'm sorry.

我喝了酒以后，有时候会变得太热情。对不起。

Monica

That's okay.

没关系。

Rachel

That's all right.

不要紧。

Ross

That's okay.

没关系。

Joey

(angrily entering, to Chandler) Can I talk to you for a second?!

（生气地走进来，对钱德）我可以跟你私下谈谈吗？

Ross

Hey, Joey.

嘿，乔伊。

Rachel

Hey. (they all walk away from Chandler)

嘿。（大家都走开，留下钱德）

Joey

Come on!! (motions for Chandler to come with him)

过来！（示意钱德跟他走）

Chandler

Why can't we talk in here? With, with, witnesses.

我们为什么不在这里谈？这里有人作证。

Joey

I just got off the phone with my sister.

我刚跟我妹妹通完电话。

Ross

Ah, which, which one?

哪一个？

Joey

Mary-Angela.

玛丽·安琪拉。

Ross

Mary-Angela.

玛丽·安琪拉。

Joey

Yeah.

对。

Monica

Y'know which one was she again?

这又是哪一个了？

Joey

Why don't you ask Chandler, 'cause he's the one that fooled around with her. She told me you said you could really fall for her. Now is that true? Or are you just gettin' over Janice by groping my sister.

问钱德，他跟人家胡搅。她告诉我，你对她说你为她大为倾倒。这是实话？还是你泡我妹妹只是为了忘记珍妮丝？

Chandler

It's gotta be the first one.

一定是第一个原因。

Joey

Really? That's great! You and my sister, sittin' in a tree.

真的？那太好了！你跟我妹妹坐在树上。

Chandler

Yep, I'm in a tree.

对，我在树上。

Rachel

Did he call? Did Mark call?

他来电话没有？马克来电话没有？

Monica

No honey, I'm sorry, but the weekend's not over yet.

我很遗憾，不过周末还没结束。

Rachel

Oh. (we hear laughing from the upstairs apartment) Oh my God, is that Phoebe?

哦。（听到楼上公寓的笑声）天哪，那是菲比吗？

Monica

I guess they're back from their date.

看来他们约完会了。

(He starts to play music.)

（他开始放音乐。）

Rachel

Music. Very nice.

音乐，真甜蜜。

(We hear them start making out upstairs.)

（我们听到他们开始在楼上亲热。）

Monica

Oh my God!

我的天！

Rachel

So, how are you?

你好吗？

Monica

I am good. I finished my book.

我很好，我的书完稿了。

(Things start to get really hot upstairs.)

（楼上动静越来越大。）

Rachel

Oh yeah, what's it about?

这本书讲什么？

Monica

I don't remember. Do you wanna take a walk?

我不记得了。你想散步吗？

Rachel

Yeah, I do. (they both run out)

想。（两人跑出去）

Ross

Dear Mary-Angela. Hi. How's it going. This is the hardest letter I've ever had to write. (to Chandler) What the hell's a matter with you? How do you think Joey's going to react when he finds out that you blew off his sister with a letter?

嗨，你好吗？这是我所写过最难以启齿的一封信。（对钱德）你是怎么搞的？你写信甩掉他妹妹，乔伊会对你怎么样？

Chandler

Well, that's the part where you tell him that I moved to France. When actually I'll be in Cuba.

这时候你就告诉他，我搬到法国去了。事实上，我人会在古巴。

Ross

All right, look, look, you've got to do this yourself, okay in person. At least you know her name. You just go to the house and you ask for Mary-Angela, okay, when which ever one she is comes to the door, you take her for a walk, you let her down easy.

听我说，你得亲自去做这件事。至少你知道她叫什么名字。你只要到他家去找玛丽·安琪拉，不管她是哪一个，她到门口来的时候，请她去散个步，给她留点面子。

Chandler

What if Mary-Angela comes to the door and I ask for Mary-Angela?

万一是她来开门，而我又开口找她呢？

Ross

Where in Cuba?

你要去古巴的哪里？

Chandler

(shocked) Joey, what-wh-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-what are you doing here?

（震惊）乔伊，你在这里干嘛？

Joey

Waiting for my Grandma to finish my laundry. What about you?

等我祖母帮我洗衣服。你呢？

Chandler

I'm here to see Mary-Angela.

我来见玛丽·安琪拉。

Joey

You are so the man! (motions him to come in, and he does) Now look, listen, listen, you got to be cool, 'cause my Grandma doesn't know about you two yet, and you do not want to tick her off. She was like the sixth person to spit on Mussolini's hanging body. Yeah.

你真是男子汉！（示意他进来，他照做）听我说，别乱讲话，因为祖母不知道你们的事，最好不要惹她生气。她是第六个在墨索里尼的尸体上吐痰的人。

Chandler

Where's Mary-Angela?

玛丽·安琪拉在哪里？

Joey

She's right in there. (motions to the living room)

她就在那里。（示意客厅）

(Chandler walks into the living room, and sees all of Joey's sisters, all wearing red.)

（钱德走进客厅，看到乔伊的所有妹妹，全都穿着红色。）

Joey's Sisters

Hey, Chandler!

嘿，钱德！

Rachel

I can't believe Mark didn't call. It's Sunday night, and he didn't call.

我不敢相信马克没有打电话来。现在是星期天晚上，他居然还没打电话来。

Ross

Bummer.

真叫人失望。

Rachel

(to Ross) Yeah, right. Look at you, you're practically giddy.

（对罗斯）对，看看你，你实在太可笑了。

Ross

No, I'm genuinely sorry the Mark thing didn't work out. Look, Rach, I want only good things for you.

不，我真的很遗憾。马克没有帮到你。听我说，瑞秋，我也是一心为你好。

Monica

Wait a minute, why don't you just call Mark. (they both look up in shock) I mean, who says you have to sit here and wait for him, you've got to make stuff happen.

等一下，为什么你不打电话给马克？（两人震惊抬头）谁规定你得在这里痴痴地等？你得主动出击。

Ross

But, you, you don't want to seem too pushy.

对，但也不能太过分。

Monica

(to Ross) Honey, it's not pushy, he gave her his home number.

（对罗斯）不会的，他把家里电话给了她。

Ross

(to Rachel, as she gets his number) What, he gave you his home number? As in like, to, to his home?

（对瑞秋，她正要记号码）什么？他把家里电话给你？打电话到他家吗？

Rachel

Yeah, and you don't mind if I call, because you only want good things for me.

对。你不介意我打电话吧？既然你是一心为我好。

Ross

That's right good things, that-that is what I said. (glances at Monica)

我是这么说的。（瞟了摩妮卡一眼）

Rachel

(on phone) Hello, Mark? Hi, it's Rachel Green. (listens) Oh no, don't you apologize. (listens) Yeah, I'll hold. (to Monica and Ross) He left my number at work, but he was helping his niece with her report on the pioneers.

（打电话）马克？嗨，我是瑞秋·格林。（听）不，你千万别道歉。（听）好，我等。（对摩妮卡和罗斯）他把电话留在办公室，他本来要去拿，不过他得帮他侄女做研究拓荒者的报告。

Ross

That is so made up!

听就知道是编的！

Rachel

(on phone) Yeah, oh my God, tomorrow! That, no, it's perfect. Oh God, thank you soo much. Great! Bye! (hangs up phone) I got the interview!

（打电话）我的天！明天吗？这……不，这太好了。老天，太感谢你了。太好了，再见！（挂电话）我可以去面试了！

Monica

Yay!

好耶！

Ross

There you go.

你看吧。

Rachel

He even offered to meet me for lunch tomorrow to prep me for it.

他还要跟我吃午饭，帮我准备。

Monica

Oh, that is amazing!

太了不起了！

Ross

Yeah well, if I know Mark, and I think I do, I'd expect nothing less.

如果我了解马克，我想是的……他应该就是这种人。

Rachel

I got to figure out what I'm going to wear.

我得想想明天要穿什么才好。

Ross

High collar and baggy pants say I'm a pro.

高领衫加蓬蓬裤，才是专业人士的穿着。

Rachel

Yeah! Right! Okay, I'll see you guys later. (starts to leave) Woo hoo!

是啊！好，回头见。（要走）呜呼！

Ross

You go get 'em. (to Monica) What did I do to you? Did I hurt you in some way?

没问题。（对摩妮卡）我对你做了什么？我伤害过你吗？

Monica

What?

什么？

Ross

'Why don't you call him?!' Well, thank you very much! Y'know now he is going to prep her, y'know prep her, as in what you do when you surgically remove the boyfriend!

“你为什么不打电话给他？”真是太谢谢你了！现在他要帮她准备面试，这就是开除男朋友的前兆！

Monica

Are you crazy?!

你疯了不成？

Ross

Am I! Am I! Am I out of my mind! Am I losing my senses!! This dreamy guy is taking my girlfriend out for a meal.

有吗？我疯了吗？我失去理智了吗？那个大好人要跟我女朋友吃饭。

Monica

What?! Ross y'know this isn't even about you! I mean this is about Rachel and something wonderful happening for her. I mean you know even if you're right, what if he wants to sleep with her, does it mean he gets to?

罗斯，你根本不是重点，重点是瑞秋可以有好的前途。就算你说得对，他对她不怀好意，这表示他就能得逞吗？

Ross

No.

不会。

Monica

I mean don't you trust her?

可是……你不信任她吗？

Ross

Well, yeah!

当然信！

Monica

Then get over yourself! Grow up!

不要自哀自怜了！别像个小孩子！

Ross

(shyly) You grow up.

（害羞地）你才别像个小孩子。

Chandler

This tiramisu is, is excellent. Did you make it Mary-Angela?

这提拉米苏真好吃，是你做的吗，玛丽·安琪拉？

Joey's Grandmother

No! I did!

不，是我做的！

Chandler

Well, it's, it's yummy. So Mary-Angela do you like it?

真好吃。那……玛丽·安琪拉，你喜欢吗？

Joey's Grandmother

Of course! It's her favorite.

当然！这是她最爱吃的。

Chandler

So um, Mary-Angela, what's your second favorite?

那……玛丽·安琪拉，你还喜欢什么？

Joey's Grandmother

More of Grandma's tiramisu.

吃更多奶奶做的提拉米苏。

Chandler

Would you just please....give me the receipt 'cause this is great. It's top notch.

拜托你……把食谱给我，因为太好吃了，是第一流的。

Joey's Grandmother

That dies with me.

食谱要跟着我进棺材。

Chandler

So will I.

我也会。

Joey's Sister

Excuse yourself, and go to the bathroom.

到洗手间去。

Chandler

Oh no-no-no I was just squinting. That doesn't mean anything.

我只是斜视，没什么特别意思。

Joey's Sister

(whispering in his ear) Just do it.

（在他耳边轻声说）照做就是了。

Chandler

Will you excuse me I have to um..... (walks to the hall)

失陪一下，我得……（走到走廊）

Chandler

(startled) Hey!

（吃惊）嘿！

Joey's Sister

Finally, I thought we'd never be alone. Can I just tell you something, I have not stopped thinking about you since the party. (kisses him)

终于！我还以为我们没机会独处了。听我说句话好吗？派对结束之后，我满脑子都在想着你。（吻他）

Chandler

Look, I may have jumped the gun here. (she tries to kiss him, but he ducks it and moves away) Um, I just got out of a relationship and I'm not really in a, in a commitment kind of place.

听我说，我可能操之过急了。（她想亲他，他闪开躲走）我刚结束一段感情，我还没办法……给任何人承诺。

Joey's Sister

So! Me neither! God, Mary-Angela was right you do have the softest lips.

那又怎样？我也一样！老天，玛丽·安琪拉说得对，你的嘴唇柔软极了。

Chandler

Ahhhh, you're not Mary-Angela.

啊……你不是玛丽·安琪拉。

Joey's Sister

No, I'm Mary-Theresa.

不，我是玛丽·泰瑞丝。

Chandler

This is so bad. If-if you're not Mary-Angela, then-then who is?

这真是太糟糕了。如果你不是玛丽·安琪拉，那谁是？

Mary-Angela

(standing behind Chandler) I am!

（站在钱德身后）我是！

Chandler

Oh, this is soo bad. (doesn't see Mary-Angela)

老天，这真是太糟糕了。（没看到玛丽·安琪拉）

Mary-Angela

Joey!!!

乔伊！！！

Chandler

No Joey! No Joey! Don't Joey! Joey!

不，不要叫乔伊……

Joey

What's goin' on?

怎么回事？

Chandler

(pats him on the shoulder) You're it! Now run and hide!

（拍拍他肩膀）就是你了，快去藏起来吧。

Mary-Theresa

It's no big deal. Chandler was just kissin' me because he thought I was Mary-Angela.

没什么大不了的，钱德刚才在亲我，因为他以为我是玛丽·安琪拉。

Joey

What?! How could you do that, how could you think she was Mary-Angela?

什么？你怎么会把她当成玛丽·安琪拉？

Chandler

I wasn't sure which one Mary-Angela was. (all of Joey's sisters gasp) Look, I'm sorry okay, I was really drunk, and you all look really similar.

我不肯定哪一个是玛丽·安琪拉。（乔伊的所有妹妹倒抽一口气）听我说，对不起，我喝得醉醺醺，你们的样子都差不多。

Joey's Sister

I say, punch him Joey.

我说揍他，乔伊。

All

Yeah! Punch him!!

对，揍他！

Chandler

Y'know what, we should all calm down because your brother's not going to punch me. (to Joey) Are ya?

我们大家应该冷静下来，因为你们的兄弟不会揍我的。（对乔伊）是吧？

Joey

Well, that is usually what I would do. But I just never thought you'd be on the receiving end of it. How could you do this?!

我通常会这么做，但我万万没想到有一天会揍你。你怎么能做这种事？

Chandler

Joey if you wanna punch me, go ahead, I deserve it. But I just want you to know that I would never soberly hurt you or your family, you're my best friend. I would never do anything like this ever again.

如果你想揍我就动手吧，我罪有应得。但我要你知道，我在清醒时绝不会做伤害你和你家人的事。你是我最好的朋友，我再也不会做这种事了。

Cookie

So what. I say, punch him.

那又怎么样？我说揍他。

All

Yeah! Punch him! Punch him!

对，揍他！揍他！

Joey

No! No! No! No, I'm not going to punch Chandler.

不，我不会揍钱德。

Cookie

I'll do it.

我来。

Joey

No you won't. Look he knows he did a terrible thing and I believe him, he's sorry. But, (to Chandler) you've got one more apology to make, all right, you've got to apologize to Mary-Angela.

不，你不会的。他知道他做了一件错事，我相信他是真心道歉了。但你还要再跟一个人道歉，你得跟玛丽·安琪拉道歉。

Chandler

Okay, absolutely!

当然，没问题！

Joey

All right.

好。

Chandler

You've got it. (he starts to look at his sisters, but he still doesn't know which one is Mary-Angela.)

有你这句话。（他看着妹妹们，还是不知道哪个是玛丽·安琪拉）

Joey

Cookie, now you can punch him!

库奇，现在你可以揍他了！

Chandler

What?! (Cookie punches him)

什么？！（库奇揍他）

Rachel

(getting off the elevator and noticing Ross) Hey!

（出电梯看到罗斯）嘿！

Ross

Hi!

嗨！

Rachel

What are you doing here?

你在这里干嘛？

Ross

Ah y'know, this building is on my paper route so I... (gives her a flower)

这栋大楼在我的报纸投递路线上，所以……（递给她一枝花）

Rachel

Oh.

哦。

Ross

Hi. (kisses her)

嗨。（吻她）

Rachel

Hi.

嗨。

Ross

How'd did it go?

面试怎么样？

Rachel

Oh well, the woman I interviewed with was pretty tough, but y'know thank God Mark coached me, because once I started talking about the fall line, she got all happy and wouldn't shut up.

跟我面试的女人很难对付，但幸好有马克指点我。我一谈起秋季新装，她就满意得不得了。

Ross

I'm so proud of you.

我真为你骄傲。

Rachel

Me too!

我也为自己骄傲！

Ross

Listen, I'm ah, I'm sorry I've been so crazy and jealous and, it's just that I like you a lot, so...

听我说，我……对不起，我这么神经又嫉妒……这是因为我很喜欢你，所以……

Rachel

I know.

我知道。

Ross

Yeah.

嗯。

Rachel

Yeah.

嗯。

Mark

Rachel?

瑞秋？

Rachel

Yeah. (turns around) Hi Mark!

（转身）嗨，马克！

Mark

Hi. I just talked to Joanna, and she loves you. You got it, you got the job.

嗨，我刚跟乔安娜谈过，她很喜欢你，你被录取了。

Rachel

Oh, I did!

真的？

Mark

Yes.

对。

Rachel

(to Ross) Oh my God!! (she turns around and hugs Mark, not Ross)

（对罗斯）我的天！（转身拥抱马克，不是罗斯）

Ross

Congratu!! (sees her hug Mark) -lations-lations.

恭喜……恭喜。

Closing Credits

片尾

Monica

So ah, Phoebe, how was your date?

菲比，你的约会怎么样？

Phoebe

Oh well y'know. (laughs)

你知道……（笑）

Monica

Yeah, I do know.

对，我的确清楚。

Phoebe

Ick, you were eavesdropping.

哎呀，你偷听我们约会。

Rachel

Eavesdropping. Pheebs, the ceiling tiles were falling down.

偷听？菲比，天花板的瓷砖都快掉下来了。

Phoebe

Oh, I'm sorry. But I really like this guy. And I think he really happens to like me.

对不起。但我真的是很喜欢他，我想他也很喜欢我。

(We hear the sound of a bed creaking through the ceiling, and him moaning.)

（我们听到天花板传来床的吱呀声和他呻吟的声音。）

Ross

Maybe he's just jumping on a pogo-stick and really likes it?

也许他只是……跳弹簧床跳得很爽？

(We hear a woman start moaning.)

（我们听到女人开始呻吟。）

Ross

Maybe the pogo-stick likes it too?

也许弹簧床也被跳得很爽？

Joey

All right, that's it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?

好吧，到此为止！他不能这样对菲比。（起身）我要狠狠揍这家伙一顿——但他个子很高大吗？

Ross

Ah, we'll all go. (motions to Chandler) Come on. (the guys leave)

我们一起去，来。（示意钱德）来吧。（男生们离开）

Phoebe

Thanks you guys! Thank you.

谢谢你们，谢谢。

Chandler

Don't worry.

别担心。

Phoebe

God, I hope they kick his ass!

老天，希望他们痛扁他一顿。

Rachel

Honey, I'm sorry.

亲爱的，我很遗憾。

Monica

Y'know if it's any consolation, he really did sound like he was having more fun with you. (Rachel nods in agreement)

如果这可以给你一点安慰，听起来他跟你在一起比较开心。（瑞秋点头同意）

(We hear the guys knock on the door upstairs, and the guy answering it.)

（我们听到男生们敲楼上的门，一个男人来开门。）

Guy

(muffled) May I help you?

（闷声）有什么事吗？

(We hear the guys start to attack him, but the guy manages to calm them down and gets them to agree to what he did. Monica throws up her hands in disgust.)

（我们听到男生们开始攻击他，但那人设法让他们冷静并让他们同意他的做法。摩妮卡厌恶地举手。）

End

结束