S03E08

The One With The Giant Poking Device

戳他一下

Scene 1

Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross are there, Rachel is serving brownies.

摩妮卡和瑞秋家。菲比、钱德和罗斯在场，瑞秋端出布朗尼蛋糕。

Rachel

Here you go Pheebs. Who else wants one of my special homemade brownies?

菲比，来。谁要吃我的特制布朗尼？

Chandler

I will have one. (Ross and him both take one.)

我要一块。（罗斯和他各拿一块）

(Phoebe takes a bite and spits it out and screams.)

（菲比咬了一口，吐出来，尖叫。）

Chandler

Okay, I'm not gonna have one.

算了，不要了。

Ross

Neither will I. (they both put back the brownies.)

我也是。（两人把布朗尼放回去）

Phoebe

No, no, it's just my tooth.

不是，是我牙痛。

Chandler

All right I'll have one. (he and Ross take another brownie,)

好，我要一块。（他和罗斯又各拿一块）

Ross

So what's a matter, you need a dentist? I've got a good one.

你要找牙医吗？我认识一个好医生。

Phoebe

No thanks, I have a good one too. I just, I, I can't see him.

谢了，我也认识一个。只是我不能见他。

Chandler

See that is the problem with invisible dentists.

这就是隐形牙医的问题。

Ross

Why? Why can't you go to him?

你为什么不能去找他？

Phoebe

Because, every time I go to the dentist, somebody dies.

因为我每次去看牙医，就会有人死。

Chandler

That is so weird, because every time I go to the dentist, I look down the hygienist's blouse.

真诡异，我每次去看牙医，都会偷看医生的胸口。

Rachel

Phoebe, what? Umm...what?!

菲比，什么？……什么？！

Phoebe

Yeah, yeah, first there was my aunt Mary, and then there was umm, John, my mailman, and then my, my cowboy friend 'Albino Bob'.

第一次是玛丽阿姨，然后是我的邮差约翰，然后是我的牛仔朋友艾拜诺·巴伯。

Rachel

And all these people actually died?

这些人真的都死了？

Phoebe

Yes, while I was in the chair! That's why I take such good care of my teeth now, y'know, it's not about oral hygiene, I floss to save lives!

对，当我坐在诊疗椅上时。所以我都自己保健牙齿，不是为了口腔卫生，我用牙线是为了救人！

Ross

Pheebs, come on, you didn't kill anybody, these people just happened to die when you went to the dentist. It's, it's, it's just ah, a coincidence.

菲比，拜托，你没有杀人，只是这些人死的时候，你刚好去看牙医。这只是巧合。

Phoebe

Well tell that to them. Oh! You can't, they're dead.

你去告诉他们。啊，不行，他们死了。

Opening Credits

片头

Scene 2

Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.

中央珀克咖啡馆。罗斯、瑞秋和菲比在场。

Ross

Thanks, Gunther. (takes the plate Gunther serves him and Rachel comes up and kisses him) (to Rachel) Hey! (to Gunther) Umm, can I get a napkin too?

阿甘，谢了。（接过甘瑟端来的盘子，瑞秋上前吻他）（对瑞秋）嘿！（对甘瑟）可以给一张纸巾吗？

Gunther

Oh, like you don't already have everything.

你还不够称心如意吗？

Phoebe

(trying to bite into an apple) Ow! Ow! (drops the apple in disgust.)

（想咬苹果）啊！啊！（厌恶地丢掉苹果）

Rachel

Phoebe, you're in pain, would you just go to the dentist, just go.

菲比，你痛得很厉害，去看牙医吧。

Phoebe

All right, fine, fine, but if you're my next victim, don't come back as a poltergeist and like suck me into the TV set.

好，但如果你是下一名受害者，别化身成厉鬼跑回来，把我吸进电视里。

Rachel

I promise.

保证不会。

Phoebe

Although, don't feel like you can't visit.

但还是欢迎你来找我。

Joey

(entering with Monica) Hey, is, is, is Chandler here?

（和摩妮卡走进来）嘿，钱德在吗？

Ross

(patting his clothes like he is looking for his wallet) No, no he's not.

（拍衣服像是在找钱包）不在。

Monica

You guys, Joey just saw Janice kissing her ex-husband.

各位，乔伊看到珍妮丝亲她的前夫。

Ross

What? (to Joey) So what are you going to do? I mean how, how are you going to tell Chandler?

什么？（对乔伊）你要怎么办？要怎么告诉钱德？

Joey

Well, I was thinking about that and I, I think the best way would be, to not.

我一直在想这件事，最好的办法就是……不要说。

Rachel

Joey, you can't keep this to yourself, if you know about this, you have to tell him.

乔伊，既然你知道了，就得告诉他。

Joey

It'll kill him. I mean it'll, it'll just kill him.

那他就完了，真的完了。

Phoebe

Well, you could wait 'til I go to the dentist, maybe I'll kill him.

等我去看牙医吧，或许我会让他完了。

Scene 3

Scene: Monica and Rachel's, All are there except for Chandler.

摩妮卡和瑞秋家。所有人都在，只有钱德不在。

Joey

(looking out the window) Ewww! Ugly Naked Guy is using his new hammock. It's like a Play-Doo Fat Factory.

（看着窗外）丑裸男在睡吊床。好像猪肉工厂喔。

Phoebe

Well, I'm going to the dentist, so listen, okay, just be on the look out for anything that, that, that you can fall into, or, or that can fall on you, or... All right, just look out! Okay, And um, I also just wanna, I just wanna tell you all that um...... (starts to cry and runs out)

我要去看牙医了，听我说，小心会让你们掉进去的东西，或是会掉下来的东西，或是……总之要小心。我还想要……我只想告诉你们……（开始哭，跑出去）

Ross

Okay, I have a problem I have to go into work for a few hours, some kids messed up the Homo Sapien display.

我得去忙上几个小时，有一些小孩大闹智人展览。

Joey

What did they do?

怎么个闹法？

Ross

Well, they painted over the word 'Sapien' for one thing, then they rearranged the figures, let's just leave it at that.

他们涂改了标题，然后又把人偶重新排列。这个就不说了。

Monica

So, do you want me to watch Ben for you?

要我帮你照顾班吗？

Ross

Yes, that's what I was going to ask, thank you.

我正要拜托你，谢谢。

Rachel

Whoa! Wait! Hello! What about me?

等一下，让我来如何？

Ross

You? You! Want to watch Ben? (in the background Monica mouths 'Don't worry, I'll be here the whole time.' to Ross.) Yes! That'd be great, no, I just wanted to ask Monica, because I know how empty her life is. (Monica sarcastically mouths 'Yeah!' and holds up her thumb.)

你！你想照顾班？（背景中摩妮卡对罗斯嘴型说“别担心，我会全程在”）。太好了！我拜托摩妮卡是因为她的生活很空虚。（摩妮卡讽刺地嘴型说“对”，翘起大拇指）

Joey

Hey-hey, Ross?

嘿，罗斯？

Ross

Yeah.

嗯。

Joey

I've got a science question.

我有个科学问题。

Ross

Hmm?

嗯？

Joey

If the Homo Sapiens, were in fact 'Homo-sapien', is that why they're extinct?

如果智人真的是“同志”人，所以才会绝种吗？

Ross

Joey, Homo Sapiens are people.

乔伊，智人就是人。

Joey

Hey-hey, I'm not judging.

我没有批评的意思。

Scene 4

Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are babysitting Ben.

摩妮卡和瑞秋家。摩妮卡和瑞秋在照顾班。

Rachel

(holding Ben) Look Benny, spoon. (moves it back and forth) Spoon. Come on! All right, y'know what I think he's bored.

（抱着班）小班，你看，汤匙。（前后晃）汤匙。我看他觉得很无聊。

Monica

Here. Ben, do you wanna play the airplane game, do you wanna show Rachel? Come here. (takes Ben) We're gonna do something fun. Okay. (throws Ben up in the air a little bit and catches him) Weee!! (moves into the living room and does it again) Weee!! (starts to walk back into the kitchen as she does it again, and hits Ben's head on that wooden beam across the ceiling.)

来，要不要玩坐飞机？要不要玩给瑞秋看？过来。（接过班）我们要玩好玩的。（把班稍微抛上去接住）咻！（走到客厅又做一次）咻！（再抛一次走向厨房，班的头撞到天花板的横梁）

Scene 5

cut to later

稍后

Monica

(to Ben) Who's so brave, you're so brave, yes you are, you're so brave.

（对班）你最勇敢了，最最勇敢了。

Rachel

Okay. Okay honey, he's fine, he's fine, let's just put him down. Come here, Ben. (sets him on the couch) See that's a good boy. (to Monica) How could you do that to him!! Ross trusted me, what is he going to say?!

他没事，把他放下。过来，班。（把他放在沙发上）你好乖。（对摩妮卡）你怎么可以撞到他？罗斯很信任我，他会怎么说？

Monica

He's not gonna say anything, because we're not gonna tell him.

不会的，我们不会告诉他。

Rachel

We're not?!

不会吗？

Monica

No we're not.

不会。

Rachel

All right, I like that.

这样好。

Monica

Okay.

好。

Rachel

So we're okay, we're okay, we're okay, (starts to exam Ben) aren't we? No, we're not okay, we're not okay, there's a bump, there's a bump.

你没事，你没事对吧？不，你有事，这里肿起来了。

Monica

Oh my God! Well push it in! Push it in!

天哪，把它压下去！

Rachel

I cannot push it in!

我不能把它压下去！

Monica

Okay, we're gonna need a distraction.

好，我们得分散注意力。

Rachel

Okay, okay, okay.

好。

Monica

I got it!

我知道了！

Rachel

Okay.

好。

Monica

The second that Ross walks in that door, I want you take him back to your bedroom and do whatever it is that you do that makes him go, (high pitched) rweee!!

罗斯一走进来，你就拉他进房间使出浑身解数，让他快活。

Rachel

Or. We could put a hat on his head.

或者……我们也可以帮他戴帽子。

Monica

A hat! Yes! We need a hat.

帽子！没错，我们需要帽子。

Rachel

We need a hat..

要去哪里找小帽子？

Monica

Where are we gonna find a tiny little hat?

要去哪里找小帽子？

Rachel

Oh, oh, oh, I'll get 'Rainy Day Bear'!! (runs to get him)

我去拿雨天小熊！（跑去拿）

Monica

Because he'll know what to do?

因为他有办法？

Rachel

(comes out of her room with a bear that's dressed in a rain suit.) Oh my God, you're a genius!

（从房间出来，拿着穿着雨衣的小熊）天哪，你真是天才！

Monica

Oh God, oh God, it's sowed on though.

好像缝死了。

Rachel

Give it. Give it.

拿来。

Monica

Okay.

好。

(Monica takes the bear, grabs his hat, and rips off his head.)

（摩妮卡拿起小熊，抓住帽子，把头扯掉。）

Monica and Rachel

Oh!!

啊！

Rachel

Oh, it's just like a bloodbath in here today.

今天这里真是血腥啊。

Scene 6

Scene: The street, Chandler and Joey are walking past a jewelery store.

街上。钱德和乔伊走过珠宝店。

Chandler

Hey! Hold on a minute, hold on a second. Do you think these pearls are nice?

等一下，你觉得这串珍珠漂亮吗？

Joey

I'd really prefer a mountain bike.

我比较喜欢登山车。

Chandler

Janice's birthday is coming up, I want to get her something special. Come in here with me.

珍妮丝的生日快到了，我想送她特别的礼物。陪我进去。

Joey

Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, whoa. Do you ah, want to get her something special, get her flowers, get her candy, get her gum, girls love gum.

慢着，你想来点特别的？送花嘛，送糖，送口香糖。女生都喜欢口香糖。

Chandler

That's a good idea, 'Dear Janice have a Hubba-Bubba birthday'. I would like to get her something serious.

好主意，“亲爱的珍妮丝，祝你生日快乐得冒泡”。我想送一份严肃的礼物。

Joey

Oh, you want something serious. Y'know what you should do, you should get her one of those um, barium enemas. Those are dead serious.

你要严肃的东西？你应该送……灌肠剂，那个严肃得要命。

Chandler

All right. Look, I'm gonna go in here, and you don't buy me anything ever. (starts to go into the store)

我要进去，你以后不要送东西给我。（要走进店里）

Joey

(stopping him) No, no, you can't, you can't, okay, you can't, you can't buy her pearls, you just can't, you can't, you can't.

（拦住他）不行！你不能送她珍珠项链，不行，不行，不行。

Chandler

Why not?!

为什么不行？

Joey

Oh God. Uh, okay, here's the thing, this is the thing, okay, the thing is...

天哪。是这样的……是这样的……是怎样？

Chandler

What is the thing?

是怎样？

Joey

Okay. I went down to the 'Mattress King' showroom and, and I saw Janice, kissing her ex-husband.

我那天去床垫大王的卖场，看到珍妮丝在亲她的前夫。

Chandler

(shocked) What?

（震惊）什么？

Joey

They were in his office.

他们在他的办公室里。

Chandler

Well she, she wouldn't do that, she's with, she's with me.

她不会亲他的，她跟我在一起。

Joey

I'm telling you man, I saw it.

是真的，我亲眼看到。

Chandler

Yeah, well, you're wrong! Okay, you're wrong.

你看错了，你错了。

Joey

I'm not wrong! I wish I was. I'm sorry. Bet that barium enema doesn't sound so bad now, huh?

我没有看错，我巴不得我看错了。对不起。现在觉得送灌肠剂不错吧？

Scene 7

Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are dressing up Ben in the entire rain suit from Rainy Day Bear.

摩妮卡和瑞秋家。摩妮卡和瑞秋把班的全身都穿上雨天小熊的雨衣。

Monica

It just makes more sense as an ensemble.

穿整套比较不奇怪。

Rachel

Right.

嗯。

Monica

Besides, it takes the focus off the hat.

也免得帽子太显眼。

Phoebe

(running through the door) No! Oh! You're alive! You're alive!

（跑进门）不！哦！你们还活着！

Rachel

See Pheebs, I promised you no one would die, didn't I?

我不是保证过没有人会死？

Phoebe

Yeah, well, we'll see about that. Can I use your phone? I just wanna call everyone I know.

待会就知道了。借我打电话给我认识的人。

Monica

Sure, we have no money, go ahead.

你用吧，我们没钱，请便。

Phoebe

(on phone) 'Hey! You're not dead! Okay, see ya!'

（打电话）“喂，你没死！再见！”

Ben

Monica.

摩妮卡。

Monica

Oh my God! He just said my name! Did you hear that?

天哪，他叫我的名字！你听到了吗？

Ben

Monica bang!

摩妮卡，砰！

Rachel

Okay, I heard that.

我听到了。

Monica

Did he just say 'Monica bang'?

他是不是说“摩妮卡，砰”？

Rachel

Uh-huh.

嗯哼。

Monica

Oh my God! He's gonna rat me out!

天哪，他要告我的密！

Ben

Monica bang!

摩妮卡，砰！

Monica

Oh-ho-ho, sweetie, sweetie, you gotta stop saying that, now. It's no big deal, it's not even worth mentioning, you see we all do it all the time. See watch this, Ben, Ben, Ben. (goes over and starts hitting her head on the post) Ow, Monica bang! (does it again) Everybody bang. (repeats) Ben bang. (repeats) Rachel bang. (repeats) Bang, Rachel bang! Oh, isn't that fun?

小乖乖，你不能再说了。没什么大不了的，根本不值得一提。懂吗？我们经常撞来撞去。懂吗？看我的。（走过去开始用头撞门柱）哎哟，摩妮卡，砰！（又撞）大家都砰。（重复）班，砰。（重复）瑞秋，砰。（重复）砰，瑞秋，砰！很好玩吧，你看！

Rachel

(goes over and hits her head on the post) Look at that! (repeats) Look at that! (repeats) We all do it. (repeats) Okay, I'm stopping now.

（走过去撞门柱）大家都在砰。（重复）我不撞了。

Monica

You okay?

你还好吗？

Rachel

Oh yeah! Y'know, if it's not a headboard, it's just not worth it.

如果不是床头板，根本不值得。

Scene 8

Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is waiting for Janice to arrive, and is angrily flipping through a magazine.

钱德和乔伊家。钱德在等珍妮丝来，生气地翻杂志。

Janice

(entering) How's my Bing-a-ling?

（走进来）我的小宾宾好吗？

Chandler

Ah, I don't know, you tell me. Anything you ah, wanna tell me, because, if you ah, you should, if you, you would, tell me.

我不知道，你说呢？你有话要对我说吗？因为要是你……你应该……你会告诉我。

Janice

Why are your eyes so white?

你的眼睛怎么这么白？

Chandler

You tell me! Maybe, it's because I was just fooling with my ex! Oh no-no-no-no, no-no-no-no, that was you!!

你说呢？也许是因为我和旧情人搞在一起——不不不，那是你！

Janice

Oh my God!!

我的天！

Chandler

All right!

很好！

Janice

How did you know?

你怎么知道？

Chandler

Joey told me, he saw you two kissing.

乔伊说的，他看到你们接吻。

Janice

In the park?

在公园里？

Chandler

No! In his office! How many kisses were there?

不是，在他的办公室。你们亲了几次？

Janice

Just those two!

就那两次。

Chandler

Wh-wh-why, wh-why, why, why was there kissing!? There should be no kissing!!

为什么……为什么要接吻？你们不该接吻的！

Janice

Oh, I'm sorry honey, I'm so, so, (nasally) haaaaa! I'm so, so sorry, I just (nasally) haaaaaa! But I, oh what happened was, I-I-I can't breathe. Can you get me a bag, or something?

对不起，我非常非常……（鼻音）哈！我非常……抱歉，我只是……（鼻音）哈！其实是……我喘不过气来。可以给我一个袋子吗？

Chandler

(giving her a bag) Here.

（递给她袋子）拿去。

(Janice starts to breathe into it and breathes in the receipt, and then spits it out.)

（珍妮丝开始往袋子里呼吸，吸进了收据，然后吐出来。）

Janice

The receipt.

是收据。

Chandler

I'll take it! All right look, I gotta know. Are you finished with me? (Janice shakes her head no) Are you finished with him? (Janice shakes her head no) Do you still love him? (Janice shakes her head yes) Do you still love me? (Janice shakes her head yes) All right look, (grabs the bag) I'm gonna need an actual answer here okay, so which is it, him or me? (his phone starts to ring)

给我！听着，我一定要知道。你跟我结束了吗？（珍妮丝摇头）你跟他结束了吗？（珍妮丝摇头）你还爱他？（珍妮丝点头）你还爱我？（珍妮丝点头）好，听我说，（抢过袋子）我需要明确的答案，好吗？你选哪一个？他还是我？（电话铃响）

Janice

I don't know.

我不知道。

Phoebe

(rushing in) Okay. If you're alive you answer your phone!

（冲进来）要是你还活着，请接电话！

Commercial Break

Scene 9

Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey are there.

摩妮卡和瑞秋家。摩妮卡、瑞秋、菲比和乔伊在场。

Monica

Okay, Ben, I won't tell your daddy that you had ice cream for dinner, if you don't tell about our little bonking incident.

班，我不会告诉爸爸你在晚餐前吃冰，你也不能说出那个小小的意外。

Rachel

Monica, number one, I don't think Ben understands the concept of bribery, and number two, I... (Joey starts laughing in the background) (to Joey) What?!

第一，班应该不懂什么是贿赂；第二，我……（乔伊在背景中笑起来）（对乔伊）怎么了？

Joey

You said number two.

你说“第二”。

Rachel

I also said number one.

我也说了“第一”。

Joey

I know. (giggles harder)

我知道。（笑得更厉害）

Ross

(entering) Hey! Everyone.

（走进来）大家好。

Rachel

Hi!

嗨！

Ross

How's my little boy?

我的乖儿子好不好？

Rachel

He's perfect, he's never been better.

他好得很，对吧班？他好得不得了。

Ross

(noticing the outfit he is wearing) What'd you do, take him whaling?

（注意到班穿的衣服）你们带他去捕鲸吗？

Ben

Monica.

摩妮卡。

Ross

Oh my God, he just said your name, that's great! Good job Ben.

天哪，他说了你的名字，太棒了，干得好。

Ben

Monica bang!

摩妮卡，砰！

Monica

Oh that's right, that's what I'd sound like if I exploded.

没错，那就是我爆炸的声音。

Phoebe

Woo-Hoo! The curse is broken! I called everybody I know, and everyone is alive.

诅咒解除了！我联络了所有认识的人，大家都活着。

Joey

Uh.

嗯。

Phoebe

What?

什么？

Joey

Ugly Naked Guy looks awfully still. (Phoebe runs to the window and gasps.)

丑裸男一动也不动。（菲比跑到窗边倒抽一口气）

Scene 10

Cut to later, all except Chandler are staring out the window at Ugly Naked Guy.

稍后，除了钱德，大家都盯着窗外的丑裸男。

Phoebe

Oh my God! I killed him! I killed another one! And this curse is getting stronger too, to bring down something that big.

天哪，我又杀了一个人！而且诅咒变强了，那么胖的人也害得死。

Rachel

Well maybe he's just taking a nap.

也许他只是在睡觉。

Joey

I'm tellin' ya, he hasn't moved since this morning.

错不了的，他从早上开始就没动过。

Monica

All right, we should call somebody.

我们应该求援。

Ross

And tell them what? The naked guy we stare at all the time isn't moving.

说我们在偷窥的裸男不动了？

Rachel

Well, we have gotta find out if he's alive.

我们得弄清楚他的死活。

Monica

How are we gonna do that? There's no way.

怎么弄清楚？根本没办法。

Joey

Well, there is one way. His window's open, I say, we poke him.

有一个办法。他的窗子开着，我建议……我们戳他。

Scene 11

Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is throwing darts, as Joey enters.

钱德和乔伊家。钱德在射飞镖，乔伊走进来。

Joey

Hey! Y'know how we ah, save all those chopsticks for no reason we get when we get Chinese food?

嘿！我们每次叫中国菜都会留筷子，又不知道为什么。

Chandler

Yeah.

嗯。

Joey

Well, now we got a reason.

现在有用了。

Chandler

What?

怎么用？

Joey

Well, we're fashioning a very long poking device.

我们要做一个很长的探测器。

Chandler

All right.

好。

Joey

Hey uh, what's a matter?

你怎么了？

Chandler

I talked to Janice.

我跟珍妮丝谈过了。

Joey

Oh my God, is she going back to him?

天哪，她要回到他身边吗？

Chandler

She doesn't know. Says she loves us both. Y'know I woke up this morning and I was in love, well I was happy. Y'know it serves me right for buying that twelve pack of condoms. And now I can't even return them, because she choked on the receipt!

她不知道。她说她两个都爱。早上醒来时，我在恋爱，我很快乐。那十二个保险套买得绝不冤枉，现在连退都不能退，因为收据被她咬烂了。

Joey

What are you ah, what are you gonna do?

你要怎么办？

Chandler

I don't know, y'know. What, what, would you do?

不知道。你会怎么办？

Joey

Well, it doesn't matter what I would do.

我的做法不重要。

Chandler

Come on, tell me.

别这样……说嘛。

Joey

All right, you're probably not gonna want to hear this but ah, if it was me, and this is just me, (Chandler gets ready to throw another dart) I would ah, I would bow out.

好吧，这种话你八成不爱听，但是……如果是我……这纯属个人意见。我会……退出。

Chandler

What? (turns around quickly still ready to throw the dart and Joey quickly ducks and hides behind the chair) What are you, what are you talking about?

什么？（迅速转身仍作势要扔飞镖，乔伊赶紧躲到椅子后面）你在说什么？

Joey

They have a kid together, y'know. They're like, they're like a family, and if, I don't know, there's chance they could make that work, I know I wouldn't want to be the guy who stood in the way of that. Are you okay? Do you wanna ah, come poke a nude guy?

他们有一个孩子，你懂吗？他们是一家人。要是……我不晓得，要是他们有机会破镜重圆，我不会想当那个障碍。你还好吧？要不要来戳裸男？

Scene 12

Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross has just finished putting Ben to sleep, and is entering from Rachel's room.

摩妮卡和瑞秋家。罗斯刚把班哄睡，从瑞秋的房间走出来。

Ross

Well, he's finally asleep. About that ah, bump on his head?

他终于睡着了。他头上那个肿包……

Rachel

Are you, are you, are you sure it's ah, a new bump? I mean, no offense, I've always thought of Ben as a fairly bumpy headed child.

你确定那是新的？我没有恶意，但我一直觉得他满头是包。

Ross

It's okay if he bumps his head, kids bump their heads all the time, y'know, it was your first time babysitting, I figured you did the best you could.

撞到头也没关系，小孩子经常撞到头。你第一次照顾他已经尽力了。

Rachel

(confidently) I did!

（自信地）我有尽力！

Ross

I know! I'm saying you have to watch them all the time.

我知道，不过你得随时盯着。

Rachel

I did!! I watched! I watched! I watched Monica bang his head against that thing!

我有，我盯得很紧！我眼睁睁看着摩妮卡撞到他的头！

Ross

Monica did it?

是摩妮卡撞的？

(Monica runs into the kitchen from the terrace.)

（摩妮卡从阳台跑进厨房。）

Ross

Monica?

摩妮卡？

Monica

Yeah.

嗯。

Ross

Umm, did you notice anything weird about Ben today?

你有没有发现班今天怪怪的？

Monica

No. Why?

没有，怎么了？

Ross

Well, I was just playing with him, and y'know we were doing the alphabet song, which he used to be really good at, but suddenly he's leaving out 'e' and 'f.' It's like they just ah, I don't know, fell out of his head.

我刚才在陪他玩，我们唱了“字母歌”，他一向很会唱，今天却漏了E和F，仿佛那两个字母掉出来了。

Monica

Really?!

真的？

Ross

Oh, and also, he's, he's walkin' kind of funny, his left leg is moving a lot faster than his right leg, and he's in there just sort of y'know... (walks around in a circle)

还有，他走起路来不太对劲，似乎左脚动得比右脚快。他一直在里面……（绕圈走）

Monica

Oh my God, I wrecked your baby!! (runs into the bedroom)

天哪，我害了你的儿子！（跑进卧室）

Rachel

I hope it's still funny when you're in hell.

希望你下了地狱还会觉得好玩。

Monica

(coming out of the bedroom) You jerk! You know how much I love that kid! (starts to chase Ross around the living room)

（从卧室出来）混蛋！你明知我有多爱他！（开始在客厅追罗斯）

Ross

Monica bang! Monica bang! (runs into one of the posts) Ow!

摩妮卡，砰！摩妮卡，砰！（撞到柱子）哎哟！

Rachel

I'll get the hat.

我去拿帽子。

Scene 13

Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Janice are there.

中央珀克咖啡馆。钱德和珍妮丝在场。

Chandler

Janice, I have something I need to tell you, and I want you to let me get through it, because it's, it's, it's not gonna be easy.

珍妮丝，我有一件事要告诉你，请你让我说完，因为说出口并不容易。

Janice

Okay.

好。

Chandler

I think you should go back with Gary. I don't wanna be the guy that breaks up a family, y'know when my parents split up, it was because of that guy. Whenever I would see him I was always think y'know 'You're the reason, you are the reason why they're not together.' and I hated that guy. And it didn't matter how nice he was, or how happy he made my Dad.

“是你害他们不能在一起的。”我恨那个人。不管他人有多好，给我爸带来多少幸福。

Janice

Wow!

哇！

Chandler

Yeah, well. It's the right thing to do.

这么做是不对的。

Janice

Oh! You're right. Oh God. But, before I can say 'good-bye', there's something I really need you to know, Chandler. The way I feel about you, it's like, I finally understand what Lionel Richie's been singing about. Y'know, I mean what we have, it's like movie love, you're my soulmate, and I can't believe we're not going to be spending the rest of our lives together.

你说得对。天哪，在我说再见之前，有件事我一定要你知道。我对你的感觉，让我终于了解莱诺·李奇曲中的含意。我们的一切，就像演电影一样，你是我的精神伴侣，我们居然无法厮守到老。

Chandler

Then don't leave me!

那就不要离开我！

Janice

What?

什么？

Chandler

Forget what I said, I was babbling! Pick me!

忘了我说的话，我是随便说说，选我吧！

Janice

No, you were right, you were right. I mean, I-I-I've got to give my marriage another chance.

不，你说得对。我应该再给婚姻一次机会。

Chandler

No you don't! No, no, no, I say you have to give your divorce another chance.

谁说的？不，你应该再给离婚一次机会。

Janice

(standing up) I'm sorry. (hugs him)

（站起来）对不起。（拥抱他）

Chandler

Ohhh. Don't go.

不要走。

Janice

No, I-I-I gotta go. (she starts to walk away, but Chandler doesn't let her go.)

不，我该走了。（她要走，钱德不放手）

Chandler

No. No! No! No!

不，不！

Janice

Honey, honey, people are looking.