The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel

Host

Welcome everybody, welcome to Amazing Discoveries!

欢迎各位收看“伟大的发明”！

Phoebe

Oh, oh! It's on again!

又播出了！

Joey

You guys, can we please not watch this all right.

我们能不能别看了啊？

All

Shhhh!

嘘！

Host

Folks, has this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, (Joey is in the background struggling to open a cartoon of milk) and these darn cartons are so flingin'-flangin' hard to open.

各位，你是否遇过这种情形？你正打算倒一杯牛奶，但这些牛奶纸盒实在他妈的难打开。

Joey

(on tv) Oh, you said it Mike. (rips open the carton and spills milk on the counter) Aw! There's got to be a better way!

（电视里）天啊，你说对了，麦克。（撕开纸盒，牛奶洒在桌上）啊！一定有个更好的办法！

Mike

And there is Kevin.

的确有，凯文。

Joey

Can we please turn this off?

可不可以别看了？

Rachel

Noo way, Kevin.

不行，凯文。

Mike

There is a revolutionary new product that guarantees that you'll never have to open up milk cartons again. Meet the Milk Master 2000.

如果我告诉你有个新产品能保证你再也不用费力打开牛奶纸盒呢？看看2000年的牛奶大师。

Ross

(to Chandler) Are you intrigued?

（对钱德）挑起你的兴趣了吧？

Chandler

You're flingin'-flangin' right I am!

是啊，挑得我心痒痒的。

Mike

Keep in mind, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. (to Kevin) Go ahead. ('Kevin' starts using the product, it is a spout that you jab into a paper milk carton so that you don't have to rip it open.) This works with any milk carton.

这是他第一次使用，你就知道有多容易了。（对凯文）请用。任何牛奶纸盒都适用！

Joey

(on TV, finishing installing the Milk Master 2000) Wow, it is easy. (starts to pour the milk) Now, I can have milk everyday.

（电视里，装好牛奶大师2000）哇，真简单！（开始倒牛奶）这样我就可以每天喝牛奶了。

(They all start laughing at him)

（大家都笑话他）

Opening Credits

片头

Chandler

Well, it's official there are no good movies.

真的没有好看的电影。

Janice

Well, let's go to a bad one and make out. (they start to kiss and lean back into Monica.)

那就去看难看的电影，然后在里面亲热。（他们开始接吻，往后靠在摩妮卡身上）

Monica

Perhaps, you would like me to turn like this, (turns sideways on the couch) so that you can bunny bump against my back.

或许你希望我转过去（侧身坐在沙发上），你们就可以靠着我的背玩？

Joey

(entering) Hey!

（走进来）嘿！

Phoebe

Hey.

嘿。

Chandler

Hey, man. What's up?

嘿，老兄，怎么了？

Joey

Maybe you can tell me. My agent would like to know why I didn't show up at the audition I didn't know I had today. The first good thing she gets me in weeks. How could you not give me the message?!

或许该由你来告诉我吧。我的经纪人问我为何今天的试演没有出席，这几周来第一个好机会。你怎么没转告我？！

Chandler

Well, I'll tell ya I do enjoy guilt, but, ah, it wasn't me.

告诉你，我虽然喜欢罪恶感，但不是我。

Phoebe

Yes, it was! It was him! Uh huh! (they all stare at her) Okay, it was me!

是的，就是他！嗯哼！（大家都瞪着她）好吧，是我啦。

Joey

How is it you?

怎么会是你？

Phoebe

Well, it was just, it was all so crazy, you know. I mean, Chandler was in the closet, counting to 10, and he was up to 7 and I hadn't found a place to hide yet. I-I-I meant to tell you, and I wrote it all down on my hand. See, all of it. (shows him her hand)

真是疯狂啊，你知道吗？钱德躲在衣橱里，倒数十秒，已经数到七了，我一直找不到地方躲。我一直想告诉你，我写在手上你看，全都在这儿。（给他看手）

Joey

Yep, that's my audition.

是啊，就是我的试镜。

Monica

See, now this is why I keep notepads everywhere.

看吧，这就是为何我到处都要放便条纸。

Phoebe

Yep, and that's why we don't invite you to play.

对，这就是为何我们都不邀你一起玩。

Janice

What is the great tragedy here? You go get yourself another appointment.

这样有什么可怜的？再约一次时间啊。

Joey

Well, Estelle tried, you know. The casting director told her that I missed my chance.

艾斯特试过了，选角导演说我已经错过了机会。

Phoebe

That is unfair. I'll call her and tell her it was totally my fault.

这样太不公平了。我来打给她，我告诉她都是我的错。

Joey

Pheebs, you can't do that. The casting director doesn't talk to friends, she only talks to agents.

菲比，不，选角导演不可能跟演员的朋友谈，她只跟经纪人谈。

Phoebe

What a sad little life she must lead. Okay, ooh (starts dialing) .

她的生活层面真狭隘啊。好，哦。（开始拨号）

Joey

What, what are you doing? What are you doing?

你在干什么？你在干什么？

Phoebe

No, no, no, I know, I know, ooh. (on the phone in a different voice) 'Hi, this is Katelynn, from Phoebe Buffay's office. Um, is um, Ann there for Phoebe, she'll know what it's about.'

不，不，我知道啦……（用不同的声音讲电话）“你好，我是菲比·布菲公司的凯特琳。嗯，菲比可以和安谈一谈吗？她自己明白是什么事。”

Joey

Hang up, hang up. (reaches with his good arm, but Phoebe grabs it and he tries to reach the phone with his other arm but can't because of the sling.)

快挂断电话！（用好的那只手去抢，但菲比抓住它，他用另一只手却够不到，因为吊带的关系）

Phoebe

(on phone) 'Annie! Hi. Listen we got a problem with Joey Tribbiani, apparently he missed his audition. Who did you speak to in my office? Estelle, no, I don't know what I'm going to do with her. No. All right, so your husband leaves and burns down the apartment, the world does not stop.'

（讲电话）“安妮，你好。乔伊·崔比安尼有点小问题，很显然地，他错过了试演。你是转告我们公司的哪一位？艾斯特？我真不知该拿她怎么办。就算丈夫离开并放火烧房子，世界依旧照常运作。”

Chandler

Is anybody else scared?

还有其他人受到惊吓吗？

Phoebe

(on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to write on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)

（讲电话）“好，若乔伊错失这次试演，那是艾斯特的错，我不管。安妮，你真善良，你何时能见他？”（对摩妮卡）我需要笔。（钱德递给她笔，但她需要写的地方，于是把钱德的头按下来，在他脖子后面写字）

Chandler

Get the woman a pad! Get the woman a pad! A pad! A pad!

快给这个女人一本便条纸！给她便条纸，快点！

Monica

Oh, now you want a pad.

现在你就需要便条纸啦。

Carol and Susan

(entering) Hey!!

（走进来）嘿！！

Ross

There's my boy! Here's my boy! And here's his Barbie (Ben is holding a Barbie doll) What's ah, what's my boy doing with a Barbie?

我的小男孩呢？我的小男孩在这儿！还有他的芭比娃娃。我儿子干嘛玩芭比娃娃？

Carol

He picked it out of the toy store himself, he loves it.

他自己在玩具店选的，他很喜欢呢。

Susan

He carries it everywhere, it's like a security blanket, but with ski boots and a kicky beret.

他去哪儿都带着它，就像能给他安全感的小毯子，只是这个穿着雪靴和时髦的法国帽。

Ross

Yeah, it's, it's, it's cute. Why, why, why does he have it, again?

是啊，很可爱。再说一次，他为何要玩这个东西？

Susan

So he's got a doll? So what? Unless you're afraid he's gonna grow up and be in show business.

他有个洋娃娃，那又怎样？除非你怕他将来长大后变成……演艺圈的人。

Carol

This doesn't have anything to do with the fact that he is being raised by two women, does it?

这件事跟他……被两个女人扶养长大有没有关系？

Ross

You know what it's fine. If you're okay with the Barbie thing, so am I.

好，若你能接受他喜欢芭比，那我也可以。

(cut to later in the day)

（稍后）

Ross

Give daddy the Barbie! Ben, give, give me the Barbie. Okay, how 'bout, don't you want to play with the monster truck? (makes a monster truck sound) No. Okay, oh, oh, how about a Dino-soldier? (squawks like a dinosaur)

把芭比给爸爸！班，把芭比给我。好吧，那要不要玩怪兽车？（学怪兽车声音）不要？好吧。那要不要恐龙士兵？（学恐龙叫）

Rachel

Ross, you are so pathetic. Why can't your son just play with his doll? (uses the Milk Master 2000 to pour milk into her cereal)

罗斯，你真可悲。为何不让你的儿子玩芭比？（用牛奶大师2000往麦片里倒牛奶）

Monica

(entering from her bedroom) I gotta go to work. Has anybody seen my left boob?

（从卧室走出来）有人看到我左边的胸部吗？

Joey

I love that movie. (Joey is using it as a pillow)

我喜欢那部电影。（乔伊正把它当枕头）

Monica

There it is. Joey, what are you doing?

在这里。乔伊，你在干嘛？

Joey

I'm sorry, it just felt nice.

对不起，这样很舒服。

Chandler

(entering with his ringing phone) Joe. Joe! Answer the phone.

（走进来，电话响）乔伊，乔伊！接电话。

Joey

Hey, I only got one good arm, you know. You should be doing stuff for me. Go get me a sweater.

我只有一只手，你应该帮我的。帮我拿件毛衣来。

Chandler

Just do it! Okay, it's Janice and if I get it I'm going to have to see her tonight. (phone stops ringing) Oh, that's great I'm gonna have to see her tonight.

快点接啦！是珍妮丝，如果我接了，我今晚就得跟她见面。（电话不响了）太好了，我今晚得跟她见面。

Rachel

What's the big deal? Why don't you wanna see Janice?

那有什么大不了？你为何不想见她？

Chandler

Okay, last night at dinner, when the meals came, she put half her chicken piccata on my plate and took my tomatoes.

昨晚我们在吃晚餐，当餐点送来时，她把一半烤鸡肉放到我盘里，拿走我所有的番茄。

Ross

And that's bad because..., you hate chicken piccata?

这样很不好是因为……你不喜欢烤鸡肉吗？

Chandler

Noo.

不是。

Ross

You didn't want to share your tomatoes, tomatoes are very important to you.

你不想与人分享你的番茄？番茄对你很重要？

Chandler

No, it's like all of the sudden, we were this couple. And this alarm started going off in my head: 'Run for your life! Get out of the building!'

“为了你的人生，快跑，快离开这栋大楼！”

Rachel

Men are unbelievable.

男人真是令人难以置信。

Monica

What is it with you people! I mean, the minute you start to feel something, you have to run away?

你们这些人是怎么回事？心中一旦产生感情就要马上逃开？

Chandler

I know, that, (looks at her fake chest, and loses his train of thought, temporarily) that's why I don't want to go tonight, I'm afraid I'm going to say something stupid.

我知道，那就是……（看她的假胸部，暂时忘记要说什么）……就是我今晚不想去的原因，我怕自己说出一些蠢话。

Monica

Oh, you mean like that guy thing where you act mean and distant until you get us to break up with you.

你是说男人那一套，故意冷漠、保持距离，直到我们跟你们分手？

Joey

Hey, you know about that?!

嘿，你知道这事？

Chandler

Look what do I do? I wanna get past this, I don't wanna be afraid of the commitment thing. I wanna go through the tunnel, to the other side!

我能怎么做？我想度过这个阶段，我不想再害怕承诺。就像跃过一个隧道到达另一端！

(Joey looks quizzically at Ross)

（乔伊疑惑地看着罗斯）

Ross

(to Joey) Where there is no fear of commitment.

（对乔伊）就是不再害怕承诺。

Chandler

Do we have any... (turns around and bumps Monica's fake chest) Do we have any thoughts here?

我们有没有……（转身撞到摩妮卡的假胸部）有没有任何想法？

Joey

Well, I've never been through the tunnel myself, 'cause as I understand it, you're not allowed to go through with more than one girl in the car, right. But, it seems to me it's pretty much like anything else, you know, face your fear. If you have a fear of heights, you go to the top of the building! If you're afraid of bugs.....get a bug. Right. In this case, you have a fear of commitment, so I say you go in there and be the most committed guy there ever was.

我没度过那种隧道啦，因为……过隧道的规定是你车里不能多于一个女生，对吧？但我想这和战胜其他恐惧是一个道理。你怕高的话，就到大楼顶端。如果你怕虫子，就买台金龟车。你的情况是，你害怕承诺……你就到那里去做一个最勇于承诺的男人。

Rachel

Amazingly, that makes sense.

令人讶异的是，很有道理呢。

Chandler

You think?

你这么觉得？

Joey

Oh, yeah. Go for it man, jump off the high dive, stare down the barrel of the gun, pee into the wind!

是啊，快去吧，老兄！从高处跳下水！用目光击退枪枝！在风中撒尿！

Chandler

Yeah, Joe, I assure you if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm pretty much peeing every which way.

是啊，乔伊，我向你保证，若我得用目光击退枪枝，我大概已经尿得到处都是了。

Phoebe

Oh, it's your audition from this morning. Can I use the phone again?

是你今天早上的试演。可以借用你的电话吗？

Rachel

Sure Pheebs, you know, that's what it's there for, emergencies and pretend agents.

当然，这是紧急事件以及冒牌经纪人专用的。

Joey

Come on baby, come on!

快，宝贝，快点！

Phoebe

(on phone, in 'Katelynn's' voice) 'Hi, I have Phoebe Buffay returning a page. Okay, well, um, she's in her car I'll have to patch you through.'

（用“凯特琳”的声音讲电话）“你好，菲比·布菲要回覆呼叫。好，嗯，她在车上，我帮你接过去。”

Rachel

Very nice touch.

演得很好。

Phoebe

(in voice, on phone) 'Okay, go ahead.' (in normal voice on phone) Um, hi Annie. (listens) Fantastic! (to Joey) You got it. (on phone) Oh, okay, um, 'Will he work for scale?' you ask me. Well, I don't know about that, (Joey clears his throat to signify yes) except that I do and he will. Great, oh you are such a sweetheart. I would love to have lunch with you, how about we have lunch next.... (hangs up phone) Op, went through a tunnel.

（用声音讲电话）“好的接通了。”（恢复正常声音）嗯，嗨，安妮。（听电话）太好了！（对乔伊）你成功了。（讲电话）哦，好吧，“你问我他是否要最低工资？我也不知道，除非我知道，而且他也愿意。太好了，你人真好。我很愿意与你共进午餐！不如就下个……”（挂断）哦，正经过隧道。

Rachel

Unbelievable.

难以置信。

Joey

Thank you so much.

太感谢你了。

Phoebe

It was really fun, I mean I've never talked on a car phone before.

真有趣，我从未用过汽车电话。

Joey

You were amazing, could you just do me this huge favor, you see there's this one other audition that I really, really want, and Estelle couldn't get me in.

你真了不起。你能不能帮我个大忙？还有一个试演我很想参加，但我的经纪人没帮我安排。

Phoebe

Oh, I don't know. I mean it was fun one time.

我不知道，一次还很好玩……

Joey

Come on, please, it'll be just this one more, well actually it's two.

拜托，再一次就好了。其实是两次啦。

Phoebe

Two?

两次？

Joey

Yeah! Well, well really it's three. Please. You're so good at it. I love you.

好啦，其实是三次。拜托，你这么厉害，我爱你。

Phoebe

Okay, I'll do it, but just these three, right.

好，就这三次了，好吗？

Joey

Nooo, four.

不，是四次。

Janice

So, how come you wanted to eat in tonight?

你今天怎么会想在家吃？

Chandler

'Cause, I wanted to uh, give you this. (hands her a present)

因为我想……送你这个东西。（递给她礼物）

Janice

Ohhh, are you a puppy! (opens it) Contact paper! I never really know what to say when someone you're sleeping with gives you contact paper.

哦，你真是可爱呢！（打开）防尘纸！一个跟你上床的人送你防尘纸，该说什么？

Chandler

Well, wait there's, there's more. See the contact paper is to go into your brand new drawer. (gives her a drawer) See, the drawer actually goes in my dresser.

还有呢，你看跟它搭配的……就是你的新抽屉。（给她一个抽屉）看，其实这个抽屉正好与我的梳妆台搭配。

Janice

Oh, you didn't have to do this.

你不用这么做啊。

Chandler

Yes, I did. Yes, I did. Because, you're my girlfriend, and that's what girlfriends should, should get.

对，我要这么做。是的，我要这么做。因为你是我的女朋友，而女朋友就该得到这些。

Janice

Well, I gotta buy a vowel. Because, oh my Gawd! Who, would've thought that someday, Chandler Bing would buy me a drawer.

我得求救兵了……因为，天啊！谁会想的到，有一天钱德·宾会买个抽屉给我？

Chandler

Well, not me. But that's what's happened, and, ah, and, and there's more. We should take a trip.

我可想不到。但事情既然发生了，就得更进一步。我们应该去旅行。

Janice

We should?

我们该这么做？

Chandler

Yep, we're a couple and that's what couples do. And, I wanna meet your parents. We should take a trip with your parents!

没错，我们是情侣，情侣就该这样。我还要去见你爸妈。我们应该跟你爸妈一起去旅行！

Janice

(laughs) I don't think we need to, because you're tripping me out right now! Are you okay?

（笑）我想不用了，因为你已快把我搞迷糊了！你还好吗？

Chandler

I am, I actually am. I mean this is amazing. My entire life I have feared this place, and now that I'm here it's like what was the big deal. I could probably say 'Let's move in together.' and I'd be okay.

我很好，我真的很好。真是太不可思议了。我一生都在害怕这个时刻，但事到临头好像也没什么大不了。我可能会说“我们同居吧”，却还是若无其事。

Janice

You probably want us to move in together?

你可能想跟我一起住？

Chandler

It doesn't scare me!

我竟不会因此而害怕！

Janice

Yeah, well, it scares me! I mean I not even divorced yet, Chandler. You know, you just invited me over here for pasta, and all of the sudden you're talking about moving in together. And, and I wasn't even that hungry. You know what, it's getting a little late, and I-I should just, um... (starts to leave)

是啊，但我怕了！我根本还没离婚，钱德。你只是邀我来吃意大利面，而现在你就在说要住在一起的事。我其实还不太饿。你知道吗？时间有点晚了，我最好先……（起身要走）

Chandler

Oh, no, no, no, don't go! I've scared ya'! I've said too much! I'm hopeless, and awkward, and desperate for love!! (Janice leaves, Chandler then calls Janice to leave a message on her machine) Hey, Janice! It's me. Um, yeah, I-I-I just wanna apologize in advance for having chased you down the street. (runs out the door)

别走，我吓着你了！我说太多了！对于爱情，我是无药可救、笨拙却又充满渴望！（珍妮丝离开，钱德然后打电话到她的答录机留言）嘿，珍妮丝！是我。嗯，我只是想在到街上追你前先跟你道歉。（跑出门）

Commercial Break

广告

Rachel

Honey, this will help. (hands him a tub of ice cream)

宝贝，吃点这个，你会好受点。（递给他一桶冰淇淋）

Chandler

So, I finally catch up to her and she says this relationship is going too fast and we have to slow down.

我追上她，然后她说这段感情发展太快，我们得放慢脚步。

Rachel and Monica

Uff.

呃。

Monica

That is never good.

这样绝不是好现象。

Chandler

Then I got all needy and clingy.

于是我就变得很空虚又很黏人。

Rachel

Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Maybe it's not so bad. How did you leave it?

等等，或许不算太糟。你们怎么结束的？

Chandler

She said she'd call me.

她说她会再打给我。

Rachel and Monica

Ohh! (both grab their stomachs in pain)

哦！（两人都捂着肚子）

Chandler

Oh God.

哦天啊。

Monica

Welcome to our side of the tunnel.

恭喜你到我们这一国来。

Chandler

This ice cream tastes like crap by the way.

对了，这个冰淇淋味道好烂。

Rachel

Yeah, well that's that lo-cal, non dairy, soy milk junk. We sort of, we save the real stuff for those really terminal cases.

因为这是低卡、无乳脂、豆浆制的假冰淇淋。我们把真正的留到实在无法挽留了才吃。

Monica

You know, when you start get screwed over all the time, you gotta switch to low-fat.

若你一直被搞得一团糟，你就要换成低脂的。

Rachel

Yeah, you do.

没错，你得这么做。

Chandler

So, you don't think I'm terminal?

你不认为我已无法挽留了？

Monica

Well, no, not at all, you're not terminal, you just, you just need some damage control.

不尽然，你并非无法挽留，我们只要防止事情恶化。

Chandler

Okay, okay. So, should I call her?

好，我该打电话给她吗？

Rachel and Monica

Nooo!

不！

Rachel

This is a very critical time right now. If you feel yourself reaching for that phone, then you go shoe shopping, you get your butt in a bubble bath. You want her back you have to start acting aloof.

这段时间很重要。一旦你发现自己的手又伸向电话，你就去买鞋子，不然就洗个泡泡浴。若你希望她回来，你就得开始表现冷漠。

Monica

She has to know that you're not ready.

她必须知道你不是那么需要她。

Rachel

Right. So, what you have to do is, you have to accidentally run into her on purpose. And then act aloof.

所以你要做的就是……假装不经意地碰到她，然后表现得很冷漠。

Chandler

So I'm not, not gonna lose her?

这样我就不会失去她了？

Rachel

Oooh, honey, you're not a total loser.

甜心，你不是个弱者啊。

Chandler

I said, 'So I'm not gonna lose her?'

我是说“我就不会失去她了？”

Rachel

Oh.

哦。

Ross

Guess who's here. It's the toughest guy in toy land, Ben. (singing) 'A real American hero. I'm G.I. Joe!' Drop the Barbie, drop the Barbie.

看看谁来了！是玩具王国里最勇敢的人，班。（唱）“真正的美国英雄。我是美国大兵！”把芭比娃娃放下，放下。

Rachel

G.I. Joe? Do you really think he's gonna fall for that?

美国大兵？你真的觉得他会喜欢那玩意儿？

Joey

(entering) G. I. Joe! Cool! Can I play?

（走进来）美国大兵！好棒，我可以玩吗？

Ross

Look Ben, it's a toy that protects U.S. oil interests overseas!

班，你看，这个玩具保护了美国海外油股！

Joey and Ross

Go Joe!!!

加油，大兵！

Phoebe

(entering) Helloo! Oh! (sees Joey and starts to leave)

（走进来）哈罗！哦！（看到乔伊，转身要走）

Joey

Pheebs! There you are!

菲比，你在这儿啊！

Phoebe

No it's not, sorry.

不，我不是，抱歉。

Joey

But Phoebe, wait! Wait! Phoebe. Phoebe! (catches her in the hallway)

菲比，等等！等等，菲比。菲比！（在走廊抓住她）

Phoebe

Oh, Joey! Oh, okay, see I didn't recognize you wearing, in those....pants.

哦，乔伊啊。我刚没认出你来，因为你穿着这条裤子。

Joey

Look listen, that TV movie I went in for? Did you hear anything? I think I got a shot at it.

听着，我参加试演的小型电影有任何回音吗？我想我应该很有机会的。

Phoebe

Yes! They called and you didn't get it! Okay, I mean you didn't get it, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

对！他们打来了，你没有人选！可以吗？我是说你落选了，对不起，对不起。

Joey

It's okay, these things happen.

没关系，这种事本来就会发生。

Phoebe

But they shouldn't happen, you know what, you're, you're in a terrible, terrible business. Oh God, I don't wanna be the person who makes your face look like that.

但是不应该发生，你知道吗？你这行不好混。我不想成为那个让你难过的人。

Joey

I'm, I'm okay. See. (tries to smile, but fails horribly)

我没事的，你看。（试着微笑，但极其失败）

Phoebe

Oh, now you're sad and creepy, oh. You know what, I, I'm sorry I quit, okay, I just quit.

哦，你看起来很难过，让人很害怕。我很抱歉，我要辞职。

Joey

No! No, no you can't quit! You're the best agent I ever had! Look Pheebs, rejection is part being an actor, you can't take it personally.

不！你不能辞职！你是我遇过最好的经纪人。菲比，当一个演员本来就会被拒绝，你不能过于自责。

Phoebe

Not personal, really, well they said that they never met an Italian actor with a worse Italian accent.

不是自责？真的吗？他们说没遇过一个意大利演员有这么怪的意大利腔。

Joey

They actually said that?

他们真的这么说？

Phoebe

Yeah. Ooh God, there's that face again! See I can't do this job! I...

是的。天啊，又是那种表情！你看，我不能做这个工作。我……

Joey

No, no, no, see that's why you have to do this job, agents always lie. You know, Estelle just says stuff like 'They went another way', but this, I can use this. (in a very bad Italian accent) I canna work on a new accent.

不，这就是为何你得做这份工作。经纪人都得说谎。艾斯特总是说“他们要另一种方式”。但是这一点嘛，我可以改进。（用很烂的意大利腔）我可以学一种新的腔调。

Phoebe

Yeah okay, no if it helps you okay. Yeah.

好，若对你有帮助，那就好了。

Ross

(running into the hall, in slow motion) You'll never get me, Joe!!! (he then pretends that he gets shot repeatedly and falls back against Joey and Chandler's door, dead.)

（慢动作跑进走廊）你抓不到我，士兵！！！（然后假装中了多枪，倒在乔伊和钱德的门上，死了。）

Janice

(to butcher) No, thank you. (Chandler makes a sound and she notices him) Chandler!

（对肉贩）不用了，谢谢。（钱德弄出声响，她注意到他）钱德！

Chandler

(in a British accent) Hello, Janice.

（用英国腔）你好，珍妮丝。

Janice

What are you doing here?

你在这里干什么？

Chandler

(in accent) Oh, just a bit of shopping. How've you been?

（英国腔）只是买点东西而已。你还好吗？

Janice

Are you being British?!

你在装英国腔吗？

Chandler

(normal voice) No. Not anymore.

（正常声音）不，再也不会了。

Janice

Why are you shopping here? You don't live in this neighborhood. Were you here waiting for me?

你怎么在这里买东西？你又不住在这一带。你是不是在这里等我？

Chandler

Yeah, huh. I'm just uh, you know I'm just picking up some things for a party. (grabs a bag off of the shelf)

是啊。我只是……买一点派对用的东西。（从架子上抓了一袋）

Janice

Barley? What kind of party serves barley?

大麦？什么样的派对会供应大麦？

Chandler

Well, I'm sorry if my friends aren't as sophisticated as yours.

很抱歉，我的朋友不像你朋友那么有水准。

Janice

Where is this party?

派对在哪里举行？

Chandler

Here in Chelsea.

就在雀儿喜。

Janice

Who's party is it?

是谁办的派对？

Chandler

A woman's.

一个女人。

Janice

What woman?!

哪个女人？

Chandler

(shyly) Chelsea.

（害羞地）雀儿喜。

Janice

Okay, you know, one of two things is happening here. Either you're seeing somebody behind my back, which would make you the biggest jerk on the planet. Or, else you're pretending that you're seeing somebody, which just makes you so pathetic that I could start crying right here in the cereal aisle. So which of these two guys do you want to be? (another guy walks by)

你要不是背着我跟别人约会，然后成了世界第一混蛋；不然就是你假装跟别人约会，让你成为最可悲的人，我会立刻在此为你哭泣。这两种男人，你想当哪一种？（另一个男人走过）

Chandler

Can I be that guy?

我可以当那个人吗？

Phoebe

Okay, so we got some more good rejections, lots of stuff to work on.

我们收到很多善意的拒绝，有很多地方要改进。

Joey

Okay, shoot.

好，说吧。

Phoebe

Okay, um, oh, the zoo commercial.

好，那个动物园广告。

Joey

I didn't get it?

我没得到那个角色？

Phoebe

No. They said you 'Weren't believable as a human being.' So, you can work on that.

没有。他们说你简直不像个人类。所以你可以针对这一点改进。

Joey

Okay, what else?

好，还有呢？

Phoebe

Um, the off-Broadway play people said 'You were pretty but dumb.'

那些小剧场的人说你很好看，可是很笨。

Joey

Oh.

哦。

Phoebe

Oh no wait, I'm sorry, that's 'pretty dumb.'

等等，对不起，他们是说你“非常笨”。

Joey

Look, it's okay, no, no, no, really, look um, I really appreciate this Pheebs, but I think I'm gonna have to go back to Estelle.

这没关系。真的，听我说，菲比，我很感谢你，但我还是找艾斯特好吗？

Phoebe

Oh.

哦。

Joey

Yeah, well don't get me wrong, you're a better agent than she is, but at least with her I don't want to blow my pretty dumb brains out.

别误会，你当经纪人当得比她好，至少我跟着她，我这非常笨的脑袋还保得住。

Phoebe

Yeah, no, I understand.

是的，不，我能了解。

Joey

You do, thanks.

你可以吗？谢谢你。

Phoebe

Yeah. Sorry. (she starts to leave)

是的。抱歉。（起身要走）

Joey

Wait a minute.

等一下。

Phoebe

What?

什么？

Joey

Wait a minute, did you just make up all that stuff just to get out of being my agent.

等一下，你是不是故意编这些出来，就不用当我的经纪人了？

Phoebe

(in a coy tone) Oh, you caught me. I am so busted.

（娇羞地）哦，被你发现了。我完蛋了。

Joey

(in a really, really bad Italian accent) That's-ah what I suspected-ah.

（用非常非常烂的意大利腔）我早就这么怀疑了。

Chandler

....And then I just, you know, threw the bag of barley at her, and ran out of the store.

然后我就……把一袋大麦丢到她身上，然后逃出那间店。

Monica

My God! Chandler, we said be 'aloof' not 'a doof'.

天啊！钱德，我们叫你表现冷漠，不是像个笨蛋。

Chandler

I've actually ruined this haven't I? It's time for the good ice cream now, right?

我这次真的搞砸了，对吧？这次可以吃真正的冰淇淋了吗？

Rachel

Yeah, it is.

没错，可以了。

Monica

You know what, everything's gonna be okay.

你知道吗？一切都没问题的。

(phone rings)

（电话铃响）

Chandler

(answering phone) Hello. Hi, Janice! Can you hold on for a second? Okay. (to Monica and Rachel) Okay, what do I do?

（接电话）你好。嗨，珍妮丝！你可以等一下吗？好。（对摩妮卡和瑞秋）好，我该怎么办？

Rachel

Shhh...I don't know what to do, this is totally unprecedented.

嘘……我不知道，这是史无前例的。

Monica

If-if-if we ever did what you did a man would never call.

若我们做出像你一样的事，男人绝不会再打来了。

Rachel

Yeah.

没错。

Chandler

Hello!

喂！

Monica

Oh wait, you know what, I got it, I got it, pretend like you just woke up, okay, that will throw her off. Be sleepy.

我知道了，假装你刚睡醒，这样就可以摆脱她了。睡意惺忪的样子！

Rachel

Yes, and grumpy.

对，脾气暴躁的感觉。

Chandler

What are you, stop naming dwarves! (on phone) Hello, Janice. Hi, I'm so glad that you called, I know I've been acting really weird lately. And, it's just because I'm crazy about you, and I just got...stupid, and, and scared, and....stupid a couple of more times. I'm sorry. (listens) Really?! (listens) Really?!

你们怎么……别开始数小矮人的名字！（讲电话）喂，珍妮丝。嗨，我很高兴你打来。我知道我最近的表现很怪，那是因为我太爱你了，我就变得很蠢，又很害怕，然后就变得非常笨。我很抱歉。（听）真的？（听）真的？

Rachel

He's soo lucky, if Janice were a guy, she'd be sleeping with somebody else by now.

他真幸运，若珍妮丝是男的，她现在已经跟别人上床了。

Chandler

(on phone) I love you too.

（讲电话）我也爱你。

Monica

Aw, it's soo unfair. (they both start digging into the 'good' ice cream)

真是太不公平了！（两人都开始挖“真正的”冰淇淋吃）

Carol

G.I. Joe. G.I. Joe?!

美国大兵？美国大兵？！

Ross

Hey, I don't know what to tell you guys that's the doll he chose.

我不知如何告诉你们，但他是追这个。

Susan

What'd you do, dip it in sugar?

你怎么做的？把玩具沾糖吗？

Ross

Look, G.I. Joe's in, Barbie's out. And if you guys can't deal with it, that's your 'too bad.'

听着，美国大兵获胜，芭比娃娃出局了。如果你们不能接受，那你们就太糟糕了。

Monica

What are you being such a weenie for? So he has a Barbie, big deal. You used to dress up like a woman.

你干嘛这么小家子气？他有个芭比，有什么大不了？你以前都打扮得像女生。

Ross

What?

什么？

Monica

Well, you used to dress up in Mom's clothes all the time.

你以前都穿妈的衣服啊。

Ross

What are you talking about?

你在说什么啊？

Monica

The big hat, the pearls, the little pink handbag.

宽帽子、珍珠、粉红小手提包。

Ross

Okay, you are totally making this up.

好，这些都是你编出来的。

Monica

How can you not remember? You made us call you...Bea.

你怎么可能不记得？你还让我们叫你“碧儿”。

Ross

(remembering) Oh God.

（回忆起来）天啊。

Susan

I've literally never been this happy.

我真的从没这么快乐过。

Monica

Wasn't there a little song?

不是还有一首歌吗？

Carol

Oh please God, let there be a song.

拜托，老天，来一首歌吧。

Ross

There was no song. (to Monica) There was no song!

根本没有什么歌。（对摩妮卡）没有歌！

Monica

(singing) 'I am Bea.'

（唱）“我是碧儿。”

Ross

Okay.

够了。

Monica

'I drink tea.'

“我喝茶。”

Ross

Okay, that's, that's enough. (retreats to the bathroom)

好了，好了。（躲进浴室）

Monica

'....Won't you, won't you, won't you.... '

“你要不要，你要不要，你要不要……”

Ross

(coming out of the bathroom) Won't you dance around with me.

（从浴室走出来）你要不要在我身旁跳舞。

Monica

A-ha!!! (they all start laughing, as Ross hides in the bathroom)

啊哈！！！（大家都笑起来，罗斯躲进浴室）

Closing Credits

片尾

Young Ross

(singing) 'I am Bea. I drink tea. Won't you dance around with....' (spills some tea and it drips onto his/her dress) Ohhh! (runs away crying)

（唱）“我是碧儿，我喝茶，你要不要在我身旁跳……”（茶洒到裙子上）哦！（哭着跑开）

Young Monica

(entering the shot) Ross!!! (starts to wipe up the spill)

（走进镜头）罗斯！！！（开始擦洒出来的茶）

End

结束