The One With the Jam

Joey

(from bedroom) WHOAA!!

（从卧室传来）哇！！

Chandler

(going to the bedroom) See Joe, that's why your parents told you not to jump on the bed.

（走向卧室）乔伊，这就是你爸妈叫你不要跳上床的原因。

Opening Credits

片头

Monica

Hey, look at me. I'm making jam, been at it since 4 o'clock this morning.

嘿，看看我，我在做果酱。我早上四点就起来了。

Ross

Where'd you get fruit at four in the morning?

那么早你怎么买得到水果？

Monica

Went down to the docks. Bet ya didn't know you could get it wholesale.

在码头那儿买的。你一定不知道可以买到批发价。

Rachel

I didn't know there were docks.

我根本不知道有码头。

Joey

Hey.

嘿。

Chandler

Hey.

嘿。

Ross

Aww, is it broken?

手臂断了吗？

Joey

No, I gotta wear this thing for a couple weeks. (points to the sling he is wearing)

不，但得挂着这玩意几个星期。（指着吊带）

Rachel

Did you tell the doctor you did it jumping up and down on your bed?

你有没有告诉医生你是因为跳上床才受伤的？

Joey

Nooo. I had a story all worked out but then Chandler sold me out.

不，我本来编了个故事，但钱德出卖了我。

Chandler

Well, I'm sorry Joe. I didn't think the doctor was gonna buy that it just fell out of the socket.

抱歉，乔伊，我想医生不会相信你说的“手臂就自己脱落了”。

Joey

What is this? Fruit?

这是什么？水果吗？

Rachel

Monica's making jam.

摩妮卡在做果酱。

Joey

Whoa, jam! I love jam! (to Chandler) Hey, how come we never have jam at our place?

哇，果酱！我最爱果酱了！（对钱德）嘿，我们家怎么从来没有果酱？

Chandler

Because the kids need new shoes.

因为孩子们需要买新鞋。

Monica

I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way too hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)

我得做正事了。我不想再为理查的事伤神。我需要一个计划，来忘记我的男人。什么事跟男人相反？就是果酱！（看到乔伊从锅里舀果酱尝）哦，乔伊别！太烫了！（乔伊意识到，把嘴里的吐回锅里）

Joey

This will just be my batch.

那么这一份就算我的。

Phoebe

(turns around) Um, that's it. No. Hey! You! J. Crew guy. Yeah. Why have you been following me? I mean, all week long everywhere I look there's you.

（转身）嗯，到此为止。不。嘿！你！穿杰克鲁牌的家伙。没错。你为何跟踪我？这一周来，我往哪儿看就会看到你。

Guy

You wouldn't return my calls, you sent back my letters....

你不回我电话，又把我的信退回来……

Phoebe

What?

什么？

Guy

One more chance Ursula, please?

再给我一次机会，拜托，乌苏拉。

Phoebe

Oooh. Oh, well this is awkward.

哦，真是太尴尬了。

Guy

Wh..

什……

Phoebe

Um, yeah, you want Ursula, and I'm Phoebe. Twin sisters! Seriously.

嗯，你要找的是乌苏拉，我是菲比，我们是双胞胎。这是真的。

Guy

Oh, that's great. I'm stalking the wrong woman. I am such a dingus!

太好了，我跟错人了。我真是个糊涂蛋！

Phoebe

Oh, you're not a dingus.

你不是糊涂蛋。

Guy

I just, I want you to know I didn't used to be like this. Before I meet your sister I was like this normal guy who sold beepers and cellular phones.

我只想让你知道我不是总是这样的。在认识你姐姐之前，我只是卖行动电话的普通人。

Phoebe

Well, I mean look it's, it's not your fault, you know. I mean this is just what, what she does to guys, okay.

听着，这不是你的错，这就是她对待男人的方式，好吗。

Guy

Well thanks. (starts to leave)

谢谢你。（准备离开）

Phoebe

Wait, (grabs him) you know what, I got a little story. When I was in Junior High School I went through this period where I thought I was a witch. And there was this guidance counselor who said something to me, that I think will help you a lot. He said okay, 'you're not a witch, you're just an average student.' See what I'm saying?

等等，（抓住他）我有个小故事告诉你。我在念国中时，我以为自己是女巫。有个辅导老师跟我说的话，我想可以帮助你。他说“你根本不是女巫，你只是个普通学生”。你懂我的意思吗？

Guy

Not really.

不太懂。

Phoebe

Um, well, get over it. So, I mean you, you just seem to be a really nice guy, you know. Don't be so hard on yourself okay.

嗯，忘了她吧。你看起来是个好人，别对自己太苛刻，好吗？

Guy

Wait. You're right. I know you're right. And, thanks for being so nice. Here (gives her the flowers he bought.)

等等，没错，我想你是对的。谢谢你对我这么友善。给（把花递给她）

Phoebe

Oh, thanks a lot. Do you want to get a cup of coffee?

哦，多谢。你要不要去喝咖啡？

Guy

Yeah, okay.

好啊。

Phoebe

Okay. (they start to leave, he is still following her) Okay, you don't have to walk behind me any more.

好。（他们开始走，他还跟在她后面）好了，你不用走在我后面了。

Guy

Sorry.

抱歉。

Rachel

Mon?

摩妮卡？

Ross

Mon?

摩妮卡？

Rachel

(reading) 'Gone for more jars. Back later. Monica Geller.'

（念纸条）“去买罐子，等会儿回来。——摩妮卡·盖勒”

Ross

Wait a minute, look.

等等，你看！

Rachel

What?

什么？

Ross

Look, look, look.

看，看，看。

Rachel

What, what, what?

什么，什么，什么？

Ross

It's an empty apartment.

整个房子里都没人。

Rachel

Oooh.

哦。

Ross

We're all alone in an empty apartment.

这间空房子里，只有我们两个。

Rachel

Honey, come on, I have to be at work in like ten minutes (Ross starts kissing her neck) Oh, all right, well it's not like I'm employee of the year or anything. (they fall onto the couch)

亲爱的，我十分钟内得去上班。（罗斯开始吻她脖子）哦，好吧，我又不是模范员工。（两人倒在沙发上）

(Chandler enters and they both jump up and pretend that Ross is showing her something in the couch.)

（钱德走进来，两人跳起来，假装罗斯在指给她看沙发上的东西。）

Ross

There it is.

就在这里啊。

Rachel

Oh, oh, that's what you're talking about. (to Chandler) Hey.

哦，这就是你要找的啊。（对钱德）嘿。

Ross

Hey.

嘿。

Chandler

Do I look fat?

我看起来很胖吗？

Ross and Rachel

Noo.

不胖。

Chandler

Okay, I accept that. When Janice asked me and I said no, she took that to mean that I was calling her a cow.

好，这点我可以接受。当珍妮丝问我时，我回答不，她却认为我说她像母牛。

Rachel

Okay, walk us through it, honey, walk us through it.

好，重头再说一次给我们听。

Chandler

Okay, well. Janice said 'Hi, do I look fat today?' And I, I looked at her....

“嗨，我今天看起来胖吗？”我看看她……

Ross

Whoa, whoa, whoa. You looked at her. You never look. You just answer, it's just a reflex. Do I look fat? Nooo! Is she prettier than I am? Noo! Does size matter?

哇，哇，哇。你看看她？你绝不能看。你只能回答，就像反射动作。“我看起来胖吗？”“不”，“她比我漂亮吗？”“不”，“尺寸很重要吗？”

Rachel

Nooo!

“不！”

Ross

And it works both ways.

这点男女都适用。

Chandler

Okay, so you both just know this stuff?

所以你们本来就知道这些？

Rachel

Well you know, after about thirty or forty fights, you kinda catch on.

吵了大概三四十次后，你就记住了。

Ross

Okay, for instance. Let's say, Janice is coming back from a trip and she gives you two options. Option number 1 she'll take a cab home from the airport. Option 2 is you can meet her at baggage claim. Which do you do?

例如，珍妮丝旅行回来，她给你两种选择。选择一，她从机场自己搭计程车回来；选择二，你在领行李的地方与她碰面。你会怎么做？

Chandler

That's easy, baggage claim.

简单，领行李的地方。

Ross

(buzzes) Wrong! Now you're single. It's actually secret option number three, you meet her at the gate. That way she knows you love her.

你在登机门与她碰面。这就表现出你对她的爱。

Chandler

Okay, this is good, this is good. All right listen, I have one. Janice likes to cuddle, at night, which, you know I'm all for. But, uh, you know when you want to go to sleep, you want some space. So, uh, how do I tell her that without, you know, accidentally calling her fat or something.

好，这样真不错。好，我有一个问题。珍妮丝晚上喜欢抱抱，我当然也喜欢抱抱。不过当你想睡觉时，你会想要一点空间。我要怎样告诉她，才不会又不小心说她胖之类的？

Rachel

Oh honey, I'm sorry we can't help you there, 'cause we're cuddly sleepers. (Chandler makes an 'Ewww' face) Okay, I'm late for work.

哦，抱歉，我们帮不了你，因为我们都是抱着睡的。（钱德做“恶心”的表情）好了，我上班要迟到了。

Ross

Oh.

哦。

Rachel

All right are you guys gonna come down?

你们要不要下来？

Ross

Uh, yeah, yeah I'll, I'm right behind you.

嗯，好，等一下就去。

Rachel

Good luck Chandler.

祝你好运，钱德。

Chandler

Thank you Rachel.

谢谢你，瑞秋。

Ross

Bye sweetie.

再见，亲爱的。

Rachel

Bye hon.

再见，亲爱的。

Ross

(blows her a kiss) Okay the sleeping thing. Very tricky business, but there is something you can do.

（送飞吻）好，关于睡觉那件事，非常困难，但也不是没办法可想。

Chandler

Well, I thought you guys were cuddly sleepers.

我以为你们都是“抱着睡觉”的。

Ross

Noo! No, not cuddly, not me, just her. I'm like you, I need the room. Okay, come here. (they sit on the couch and Ross puts his hands on Chandler's shoulder and thigh.) Okay, you're in bed...

不，不是抱着睡，不是我，只有她。我跟你一样，我需要空间。好，到这儿来。（两人坐在沙发上，罗斯把手放在钱德的肩膀和大腿上）好，现在你在床上……

Chandler

Yeah.

好。

Ross

I'm gonna use the cushion.

我还是用垫子好了。

Chandler

Yeah.

好。

Ross

Okay, you're in bed. She's over on your side, cuddling. Now you wait for her to drift off, and then you hug her (demonstrates on the cushion) and roll her back over to her side of the bed. And then you rollll a-way. Hug for her! Roll for you!

好，你在床上。她在你旁边，抱着你。现在，你等她逐渐睡着，然后你抱住她（用垫子示范），把她滚回床的另一边。然后你滚到旁边去！抱住她！自己滚到旁边去！

Chandler

Okay, the old hug and roll.

好，老派的“拥抱与翻滚”。

Ross

Yep.

没错。

Chandler

Okay, one question.

好，只有一个问题。

Ross

Shoot.

说。

Chandler

You're pretending the pillow's a girl right?

你把枕头当作女生，对吧？

Joey

Remember when you were a kid and your Mom would drop you off at the movies with a jar of jam and a little spoon?

记得小时候你妈会把你送到电影院，给你一罐果酱和一根小汤匙吗？

Rachel

(Looks at him) You're so pretty.

（看着他）你真可爱。

Phoebe

(entering) Hi!

（走进来）嗨！

All

Hey, Phoebe.

嘿，菲比。

Phoebe

Hey, oh, you know that guy who's been following me? I talked to him today.

嘿，你知道那个跟踪我的人吗？我今天跟他说话了。

Joey

(with food in his mouth) You talked to him. Are you crazy?

（嘴里塞着食物）你跟他说话？你疯了吗？

Phoebe

Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.

第一，我没有疯；第二，用说的，别用喷的。反正他叫做麦尔康。他也不是在跟踪我——我是说，他在跟踪没错，但他以为我是乌苏拉，呃。所以他不敢上前来跟我说话，因为有禁制令。

Chandler

Umm, not feeling better 'bout Malcom.

我还是对麦尔康没有好感。

Phoebe

Ooh! No, no, no, no, he's not like a kook, no. He's just like this, this very passionate, incredibly romantic guy, that got like a tinsy bit carried away, you know. And we just get along really well, and he's so cute.

不不不，他不是疯子。他只是个非常热情、极度浪漫的家伙，只是有点过火了。我们处得很好，而且他很可爱。

Ross

Oh my God, you've got a crush on your sister's stalker.

天啊，你竟然暗恋跟踪你妹妹的人。

Phoebe

No, I'm just gonna help him, you know, get 'de-Ursula-ized', like you know, like I did for Joey after he went out with her.

不，我只是要帮他忘记乌苏拉的一切，就像乔伊跟她约会后，我为他做的一样。

Joey

(with his mouthful) Hey, I didn't stalk her. I mean (he sprays Phoebe with crumbs)

（嘴里塞满食物）嘿，我没有跟踪她。（喷了菲比一身的碎屑）

Phoebe

Okay, I asked for the news, not the weather.

我问的是新闻，不是天气预报。

Monica

(entering) Hey guys.

（走进来）嘿，各位。

All

Hey Mon.

嘿，摩妮卡。

Monica

Joey, this is for you. (gives him a jar of jam) It's blackberry curin.

乔伊，这是给你的。（递给他一罐果酱）这是黑莓红醋栗酱。

Joey

Aww. (tastes it) Ohh!

啊。（尝了一口）哦！

Chandler

Hey, Joe, I gotta ask. The girl from the Xerox place buck naked (holds up one hand), or, or a big tub of jam. (holds up the other hand)

影印店的那个女孩，全裸（举一只手），还是这一大缸果酱（举另一只手）？

Joey

Put your hands together.

你把两只手放在一起吧。

Monica

Joey, take your time with that. That's my last batch.

乔伊，你慢慢吃啊。那是最后一批。

Joey

No more jam?!

没有果酱了？！

Rachel

Well, what happened to your jam plan?

你的果酱计划呢？

Monica

I figured out I need to charge seventeen bucks a jar just to break even. So, I've got a new plan now. Babies.

我算过了，我每罐得卖17元才能打平。所以我有个新计划，就是生小孩。

Chandler

Well, you're gonna need much bigger jars.

那你可能需要很大的罐子。

Ross

What are you talking about?

你们在谈什么？

Monica

I'm talking about me having a baby.

谈我要生孩子的事。

Ross

What?

什么？

Rachel

Are you serious?

你是认真的吗？

Monica

Yeah. The great thing about the jam plan was, I was taking control of my life. So I asked myself, what is the most important thing to me in the world and that's when I came up with the baby plan.

是啊。果酱计划的好处是，让我开始掌握自己的生活。所以我就想，什么事对我最重要？因此我就想出这个生小孩的计划。

Ross

Well, aren't you forgettin' something? What, what, what is uh, what is that guy's name? Dad!

你是不是忘了什么？那个家伙叫什么？叫“爸爸”！

Monica

It took me 28 years to find one man that I wanna spend my life with, if I have to wait another 28 years then, I'll be 56 before I can have a baby, and that's just stupid.

我花了28年，找到一个想与他共度终身的男人。如果我还得再等28年，我就得56岁才生小孩，那样实在太愚蠢了。

Chandler

That, that's what's stupid.

那样叫愚蠢？

Monica

I don't need an actual man, just a couple of his best swimmers. And there, there are places you can go to get that stuff.

我不需要一个真正的男人，只要他几只会游泳的小家伙。而且你可以去某个地方得到那些小家伙。

Rachel

Down at the docks again?

又要去码头了吗？

Janice

Night-night Bing-a-ling.

晚安，宾宝贝。

Chandler

Night-night.....Janice. (he starts thinking to himself) 'Look at all that room on her side, you could fit a giant penguin over there. That would be weird though. Okay, hug and roll time. I'm huggin', I'm huggin', you're rollin', and....yes! Freedom! (his one arm is still under her) Except for this arm! I'm stuck! Stuck arm! Okay, time for the old table cloth trick, one fluid motion. Quick like a cat, quick like a cat! And 1...2...3!' (Pulls his arm out from under her and she is spun off of the bed.)

晚安……珍妮丝。（开始自言自语）“看看她那一边的位置，都可以放一只大企鹅了。不过那样会很奇怪。好了，开始‘拥抱与翻滚’。我正抱着，抱着，你在滚，然后……太好了，自由了！（一只手还压在她下面）除了这只手臂！我被困住了，手臂卡住了！好，该玩以前那种盖桌布的把戏了，一个快动作，像猫一样矫捷，像猫一样矫捷！一，二……三！”（把手臂从她身下抽出来，她整个人被转下了床。）

Commercial Break

广告

Malcom

Here's my binoculars.

这是我的双眼望远镜。

Phoebe

Oh, great. Great. You're doing great, you know real strong. Going strong. Keep going.

哦，很好。你做得很好，很不错，继续吧。

Malcom

These are my night vision goggles. This is the book I pretend to read when I'm watching her in the park. And these are Mad Lips, they're just for fun.

这是我的夜视镜。这是我在公园里看她时，假装阅读的书。还有这些是接字游戏，只是好玩用的。

Phoebe

Oh, yeah. What's this? (picks up a book)

哦，这是什么？（拿起一本书）

Malcom

Oh, this is a log I kept, recording her every movement. Do you wanna hear something from it?

哦，这是我写的日志，记录她的一举一动。你要不要听听看？

Phoebe

Um, not even a little bit.

我一点也不想听。

Malcom

It's about you.

是跟你有关的。

Phoebe

Oh, okay then.

哦，那好吧。

Malcom

(reading) I met Phoebe today. She was really nice to me even though I'm such a loser. And, then when I was walking home I thought about her a lot, it was weird, but kinda cool.

（念）“我今天遇到菲比，她对我很好，即使我真的是个败类。当我走回家时，我不断想着她，虽然很怪，却是很棒的感觉。”

Phoebe

Good. So what were you thinking?

很好。你在想什么？

Malcom

I was thinking what it would be like to kiss you.

我在想亲你是什么感觉？

Phoebe

Really?

真的？

Malcom

No.

不。

Phoebe

Oh.

哦。

Malcom

See that's just something I said now, so that maybe I could kiss you.

那只是我故意说的，这样我才能亲你。

Phoebe

Oh, okay. (he kisses her)

哦，好吧。（他吻她）

Chandler

No, that's all right. I just had a jar of mustard.

不用了，我刚吃了一罐芥末。

Monica

(entering from her bedroom) Okay, sperm donor number 03815, come on down! Okay, he's 6'2", 170 pounds, and he describes himself as a male Geena Davis.

（从卧室走出来）好，捐精者编号03815，下来吧！好，他是6尺2寸，170磅。他形容自己是男性的吉娜·戴维丝。

Chandler

You mean there's more than one of us.

你是说除了我们之外还有别人？

Ross

Look, you can't do this Mon. All right, if you do this, I'm, I'm gonna, I'm, I'm gonna.....

你不能这样做，摩妮卡。如果你这么做，我会……

Monica

You're gonna what?

你会怎样？

Ross

I'm gonna tell Mom.

我会告诉妈。

Rachel

Honey, I'm sorry, but he's right. I love you, but you're crazy.

很抱歉，他是对的。我爱你，可是你真的疯了。

Ross

Crazy.

疯了。

Monica

What?! Why? Why is this crazy? So this isn't the ideal way to something....

什么？为什么这样就叫疯了？就算这不是理想方法……

Ross

(interrupting her) Oh, it's not the ideal way...

（打断她）这样可能不太理想……

Monica

Lips moving, still talking. I mean it may not be ideal, but I'm so ready. No, I-I-I see the way Ben looks at you. It makes me ache, you know?

嘴巴在动，我还在讲话！也许不理想，但我真的准备好了。我看到班看着你的样子，让我心好痛，你知道吗？

Joey

Check it out!! Jam crackers!

你看看！果酱饼干！

Monica

Okay, all right, how's this? 27. Italian-American guy. He's an actor, born in Queens. Wow, big family, seven sisters, and he's the only....boy. (they all turn and look at Joey) Oh my God, under personal comments: 'New York Knicks, rule!'

好吧，这个如何？27岁，义大利裔美国人。他是个演员，在皇后区出生。哇，大家族，七个姊妹，而他是唯一的……男孩。（大家都转头看乔伊）天啊，个人评论写着“纽约尼克队万岁！”

Joey

Yeah, the Knicks rule!

对啊，纽约尼克队万岁！

Monica

Joey, this is you!

乔伊，这个是你！

Joey

Let me see. (goes over and looks at the form) Oh, right.

让我看看。（走过去看表格）哦，对。

Rachel

When did you go to a sperm bank?

你什么时候去精子银行的？

Joey

Well, right after I did that sex study down at NYU. (to Chandler) Hey, Remember that sweater I gave you for your birthday?

就在我参加纽约大学的性研究之后。（对钱德）嘿，你记不记得我生日时送你的毛衣？

Chandler

And that's how you bought it?

那是你用这样赚来的？

Joey

Noooo, that's what I was wearing when I donated. I'm kinda surprised there's any of my boys left.

不，那是我捐精子那天穿的。我真惊讶他们那儿还会有我的小家伙。

Monica

Well, honey, it is pretty competitive. I mean I've got an actual rocket scientist here.

那里竞争很激烈的。我这里可是有真正的火箭科学家呢。

Joey

Maybe, I should call this place and get them to put my 'Days of Our Lives' on here. You know, juice this puppy up a little.

或许我该叫他们把我演的连续剧放上去，多增加点声势。

Phoebe

(entering) Hellooo!

（走进来）哈罗！

All

Hey.

嘿。

Ross

How's the maniac?

那个疯子如何了？

Phoebe

Oh, well he's yummy. We did a little kissin'.

他真迷人，我们接吻了。

Rachel

Phoebe, what are you doing?

菲比，你在做什么？

Phoebe

Oh, no, no, no, no. You know what, he's not into that stuff anymore. He quit for me.

哦，不，不，不。他不会再犯了，他为了我戒掉了。

Rachel

Pheebs, this guy has been obsessed with your sister, for God knows how long, okay, you don't just give up something like that.

菲比，那家伙迷恋你姐姐，天晓得有多久了。你不能就这样算了。

Phoebe

Look, he gave me his night vision goggles and everything.

他把他的夜视镜和一切东西都交给我了。

Ross

You're taking the word of a guy who has night vision goggles?

一个有夜视镜的人，他说的话你也敢信？

Phoebe

What, he's not still following her. Do you think he is still following her?

他不再跟踪她了。你觉得他还在跟踪她吗？

Chandler

Pheebs, wake up and smell the restraining order.

菲比，快醒醒，感觉一下什么叫禁制令吧。

Phoebe

What are you saying I should do?

你说我该怎么办？

Monica

I think, that if you really like this guy, you should just trust him.

若你真的很喜欢他，应该相信他才是。

Phoebe

Thank you, Monica.

谢谢你，摩妮卡。

Joey

Orrr, you could follow him and see where he goes.

或者你该跟踪他，看他去哪里。

Monica

Oh, that's what I would do, forget mine.

我也会这么做，忘了我刚说的吧。

Rachel

Oh my God, what happened? (points to the cast on Janice's wrist)

天啊，发生什么事？（指着珍妮丝手腕上的石膏）

Janice

Oh. God, crazy Chandler. He spun me...off...the...bed!

哦，天啊，钱德发神经，把我转一圈……然后推下床！

Rachel

Wow! Spinning that sounds like fun.

哇，转圈圈啊，听起来很好玩。

Janice

Oh, (laughs) I wish. No, you know he was just trying Ross's Hug and Roll thing.

哦，（笑）我倒希望。不，他只是在试罗斯的那套“拥抱与翻滚”。

Rachel

(turns around, not amused) Ross's what?

（转过头，不悦）罗斯的什么？

Janice

You know what, where he hugs you and kinda rolls you away and... Oh... my....God.

当他抱住你把你滚到旁边，再……我的天啊！

Malcom

Phoebe?

菲比？

Phoebe

Yes? Yes! Oh.

是？是！哦。

Malcom

What are you doing?

你在做什么？

Phoebe

Oh, I was just here looking for, um, my um, my part of an old sandwich. Oh, here it is! Oh. (picks one up out of the garbage can.)

哦，我只是在找我的……嗯，吃过的旧三明治。哦，在这里！（从垃圾桶里捡起一块）

Malcom

Were you following me?

你在跟踪我吗？

Phoebe

Um, perhaps. Yes! Yes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was just afraid that you were still hung up on my sister.

嗯，也许。是的！是的，我很抱歉。我只是害怕你仍然迷恋我姐姐。

Malcom

So you spied on me. I can't believe you don't trust me. (Ursula walks past, and Malcom hides behind the pillar)

所以你在监视我。我真不敢相信你不信任我。（乌苏拉走过，麦尔康躲到柱子后面）

Phoebe

Oh well, what do you know, there goes my identical twin sister. Just walkin' along looking like me. What, is this just like a freakish coincidence, or did you know she takes this train?

哦，真巧，我双胞胎姐姐正好经过，一直走着跟我长得一模一样。这是个奇异的巧合，还是你早知道她会搭这班车？

Malcom

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I tried to stop, but I couldn't. I'm so pathetic.

对不起，对不起。我试着停止，但我做不到。我真可悲。

Phoebe

No, no, it's not your fault. You know it's partly my fault, 'cause I made you quit cold turkey. Sorry, no. Okay, well, I mean, I can't date you anymore, 'cause you're, you know (in a high pitched voice) Wow! But um, but I will definitely, definitely help you get over my sister. Okay, stalk me for a while. Huh? Yeah, and, and, and, I'll be like an Ursula patch.

不，不是你的错，我也有错。是我要你断然戒除这个毛病。抱歉，不。我不能再跟你约会了，因为你是，你知道的（提高音调）哇！但我一定要帮你忘掉我姐姐。你试着跟踪我一阵子，好吗？我就暂时帮你戒除对乌苏拉的迷恋。

Malcom

Uh-huh, I don't know.

嗯，我不知道。

Phoebe

Yeah, just, okay, look I'm going. Um, come on. Op, op, behind the pillar, which way am I gonna go?

你就……你看，我正在走路。来吧，柱子后面，我会往哪边走？

Joey

Hey.

嘿。

Monica

Hey.

嘿。

Joey

Where you going?

去哪儿？

Monica

To the bank.

银行。

Joey

Sperm or regular?

精子银行还是一般的？

Monica

Sperm.

精子银行。

Joey

So you're really doing this, huh?

所以你确定要做这件事？

Monica

Oh yeah, picked a guy, 37135.

是啊，我挑了一个，编号37135。

Joey

Sounds nice.

听起来不错。

Monica

'Fraid so. Brown hair, green eyes...

的确，他有棕发和绿眼睛……

Joey

No kiddin', hmm.

不是开玩笑吧，嗯。

Monica

What?

什么？

Joey

No, I-I figured you would've picked a blond guy.

我以为你会选金发的。

Monica

Really? Why?

真的吗？为什么？

Joey

I don't know, I just always pictured you ending up with one of those tall, smart blond guys, name like.... Hoyt.

我不知道，我总是想像你和一个高大聪明的金发男子在一起，叫……“荷依”这样的名字。

Monica

Hoyt?

荷依？

Joey

It's a name, yeah. I saw you, you know, in this great house with a big pool.

那是名字，没错。我看到你在一间很棒的有泳池的大房子。

Monica

Really, is he a swimmer?

他是游泳选手吗？

Joey

He's got the body for it.

他有那种身材。

Monica

I like that. (Joey starts laughing) What?

我喜欢。（乔伊笑起来）什么？

Joey

You guys have one of those signs that says: 'We don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in our pool.', you know.

“我们不在你的厕所游泳，所以别在我们的池子尿尿”。

Monica

We do not have one of those signs.

我们才不会有那种牌子。

Joey

Sure you do, it was a gift from me. Oh! And you have these three great kids.

你会有的，那是我送的礼物。哦！然后你会有很棒的孩子。

Monica

Two girls and a boy?

两个女孩和一个男孩？

Joey

Yeah!

是啊！

Monica

And, and, and they wear those little water wings, you know. And they're, they're running around on the deck. Then Hoyt wraps this big towel around all three of them.

他们戴着手臂浮圈，在泳池边跑来跑去，然后荷依用一条大毛巾把他们三个包起来。

Joey

Sure! (Monica gets very depressed) But hey, you know this way sounds good too.

没错！（摩妮卡非常沮丧）但是，你知道，这样听起来也不错。

Monica

Yeah.

是啊。

Joey

Oh Monica. (goes over and hugs her, then looks at the form and stops hugging her.) Wow, this guy's an astronaut. That would've been cool, (sees Monica) for like a day. (hugs her again)

哦，摩妮卡。（走过去拥抱她，然后看到表格，停止拥抱）哇，这家伙是太空人？这样虽然很棒……（看到摩妮卡的表情）大概维持一天吧。（又拥抱她）

Closing Credits

片尾

Joey

I called the sperm bank today, they haven't sold a single unit of Tribianni. Nobody wants my product. I mean, I-I-I don't get it (tries to drink the rest of the jam out of the jar and gets it all over his face, on his chin, nose, etc.) Maybe if they met me in person.

我今天打电话给精子银行，崔比安尼的小家伙一点儿也没卖出去。没有人要我出产的。我不懂。（试图把罐子里的果酱喝掉，弄得满脸都是）可能他们没亲眼见到我。

Rachel

Honey, you got a little thing on your... (points to her whole face)

亲爱的，你沾到一点在……（指着自己整张脸）

Joey

(wipes a little jam from the corner of his mouth) Did I get it?

（擦掉嘴角的一点果酱）弄掉了吧？

Rachel

Yeah.

是啊。

Ross

(entering) Hello.

（走进来）哈罗。

Rachel

Hello.

哈罗。

Ross

(sees Joey) Hey. (walks into the living room) Uh, Chan, can I uh, can I talk to you for a second?

（看到乔伊）嘿。（走进客厅）呃，钱德，我可以跟你谈一下吗？

Chandler

Sure. What's up?

当然，什么事？

Ross

Just one uh, one additional relationship thought. Probably something you're already familiar with, uh, women talk! (smacks Chandler over the head with a magazine)

女人会互相传话的！（用杂志打钱德的头）

End

结束