The One Where No-one's Ready

Joey

All right they got water, orange juice, and what looks like cider. (takes a glass from the fridge.)

好，他们有水，柳橙汁，还有这个看起来像苹果汁。（从冰箱里拿出一杯）

Chandler

Taste it.

喝喝看吧。

Joey

(drinks from the glass and puts it back in the fridge) Yep, it's fat. I drank fat!

（喝了一口，然后把杯子放回冰箱）对，这是一杯油。我喝了油！

Chandler

Yeah, I know, I did that two minutes ago.

我知道，两分钟前我才喝过的。

Ross

(entering) Hey!

（走进来）嘿！

Chandler

Hey, mister tux!

嘿，穿燕尾服的先生！

Ross

Why aren't you guys dressed?

你们怎么还没换衣服？

Joey

We have a half hour.

我们还有半小时。

Ross

No, four minutes ago you had a half hour, we have to be out the door at twenty to eight.

不对，四分钟前你们还有半小时，我们必须在七点四十出门。

Joey

Relax Ross, we'll be ready. It only takes us two minutes to get dressed.

放心，罗斯，我们会准备好的。我们只要两分钟就着装完毕。

Ross

Well, you know, I'd feel a whole lot better if you got dressed now.

嗯，你知道吗，若你现在就换好，我会高兴点。

Chandler and Joey

Okay. (they don't move)

好吧。（两人都没动）

Rachel

(entering from bathroom) Hey-hey! Oh, look at you, all sexy.

（从浴室走出来）嘿嘿！哦，看看你，多性感啊。

Ross

Really.

真的吗？

Rachel

Ooooh! Wow!! Oh, hi.

噢！哇！！哦，嗨。

Ross

Hi.

嗨。

Rachel

How come you didn't come over earlier?

你怎么不早点过来？

Ross

'Cause, I'm a stupid, stupid man.

因为我真是笨得要命。

Joey

Hey, Ross, want some cider?

嘿，罗斯，要不要来点苹果汁？

Ross

No. (to Rachel) So, um, let's see your pretty close, huh. Make-up's on, hair's done.

不要。（对瑞秋）那么，嗯，你差不多快准备好了吧。妆化好了，头发也梳好了。

Rachel

Yeah, I just have to get dressed.

是啊，我只要换衣服就好了。

Ross

Yay! And that takes what? Just six or seven minutes.

好极了！那要花多久？大概只要六、七分钟吧。

Rachel

Yeah! Once, I figure out what I'm wearing.

是啊，只要我先决定好要穿什么。

Joey

Glass of fat?

要不要喝点油？

Opening Credits

片头

Joey

What's a matter Ross? What you're nervous about your speech?

怎么了，罗斯？你是不是因为要演讲而紧张？

Ross

No! Do you wanna hear it?

不是！你要不要听听看？

Joey

Am I in it?

里面有提到我吗？

Ross

Uh, huh. Yeah, right after I thank everyone for giving money to the museum, I sing a song about the wonder that is Joey.

嗯，有啊。等我感谢完所有捐钱给博物馆的人之后，我就唱一首歌歌颂乔伊的伟大。

Phoebe

(entering) Hello.

（走进来）嗨。

Ross

Hey!

嘿！

Joey

Whoa!

哇！

Ross

Wow, hello! You look great!

哇，嗨！你看起来真棒！

Phoebe

Thank you! I know, though.

谢谢你！虽然我已经知道了。

Ross

You see this, this is a person who is ready to go. Phoebe you, oh, you are my star.

看到没？这个人准备好，可以出发了。菲比，你，哦，你真是我的偶像啊。

Phoebe

Ohh, well, you're my lucky penny.

哦，那你就是我的幸运铜板。

Chandler

(entering from bathroom, with an issue of Cosmo) All right, I took the quiz, and it turns out, I do put career before men. (to Joey) Get up.

（从浴室走出来，手里拿着一本《柯梦波丹》）好吧，我做了心理测验，结果是我认为男人比事业重要。（对乔伊）起来。

Joey

What?

什么？

Chandler

You're in my seat.

你坐在我的位子上。

Joey

How is this your seat?

为何这是你的位子？

Chandler

'Cause I was sitting there.

因为我刚才坐在这里。

Joey

But then you left.

但是你离开了。

Chandler

Well, it's not like I went to Spain. I went to the bathroom, you knew I was coming back.

拜托，我又不是去多远的地方。我是去厕所，你明知道我会回来的。

Joey

What's the big deal, sit somewhere else.

那有什么大不了的，去坐别的地方嘛。

Chandler

The big deal is I was sitting there last, so, that's my seat.

真正大不了的就是，我是最后坐在这里的人，所以这是我的位子。

Joey

Well, actually the last place you were sitting was in there (points to the bathroom) . Soo...

事实上，你最后坐的地方就是那里（指着浴室），所以……

Ross

You guys, you know what, you know what, it doesn't matter, because you both have to go get dressed before the big vain in my head pops. So..

各位，你们知道吗？那个一点都不重要，因为你们俩都必须在我脑血管爆掉前换好衣服。所以……

Chandler

All right, Ross, I just have to do one thing, really quickly, it's not a big deal. (yells at Joey) GET UP!!

好吧，罗斯，我只要再做一件事，很快，这真的没什么大不了。（对乔伊大吼）起来！！

Monica

(entering) Hi.

（走进来）嗨。

All

Hey.

嘿。

Monica

Ooh, Phoebe, you look great!

哦，菲比，你看起来好美！

Phoebe

All right all ready.

好啦，早知道了。

Monica

(to Ross) Ooh, are you gonna do magic?

（对罗斯）哦，你要变魔术吗？

Ross

That's, that's funny. Change!

真好笑，给我换衣服去。

Monica

Hang on a second I just got in.

慢点，我才刚进门。

Ross

Look, I don't care it starts at eight, we can't be late.

听着，我才不管晚会八点开始，我们不能迟到。

Phoebe

We could not, would not want to wait.

他不能等，也不愿意等。

Ross

Look, our table is down in front, okay, my boss is gonna be there, everyone will see if we arrive after it starts.

听着，我们的桌子在前方，好吗？我老板也会在那儿，若晚会开始后我们才进场，大家都看得到。

Monica

Has somebody been drinking my fat? (Joey and Chandler look at each other)

有人喝过我这一杯油吗？（乔伊和钱德互看）

Rachel

(entering from her bedroom) You guys, (holds up an outfit) does this look like something the girlfriend of a paleontologist would wear?

（从她的卧室走出来）各位，（举起一套衣服）这像是古生物学家的女友会穿的衣服吗？

Phoebe

I don't know, you might be the first one.

我不知道，你大概是首开先例吧。

Monica

Rach, did you check the machine?

瑞秋，你听答录机留言了吗？

Rachel

Uh, no. Wait, you know what, this is the outfit that makes my calves look fat. Nevermind.

呃，没有。等等，这件衣服会显得我小腿很粗，算了。

Chandler

Well, Joey, I wrote a little song today. It's called: Get Up.

乔伊，我今天写了一首歌，歌名叫做“起来”。

Joey

All right! You can have the chair.

好啦，椅子给你啦。

Chandler

Really!

真的？

Joey

Oh my, would you look at that! (holds up crossed fingers)

天啊，你看看这个！（交叉手指）

Phoebe

(on machine) "Hi, it's me, I'm coming over now. Hey, what if I'm already there when your playing this message?" (to the guys) Is that too spooky?

（答录机留言）“嗨，是我，我正要过去。嘿，若你播出这则留言时我已经到了呢？”（对其他人）是不是很诡异？

Ross

(on machine) "Hi Rach, are you there? It's me, pick up. Rachel. Rach!"

（答录机留言）“嗨，瑞秋，你在不在？是我，快接起来。瑞秋……瑞秋？”

Rachel

(entering from her bedroom) What?!

（从卧室走出来）干嘛？

Ross

Nevermind.

没事。

Richard

(on machine) "Monica, it's Richard. Call me."

（答录机留言）“摩妮卡，我是理查，打电话给我。”

Monica

Is-is-is that message old or new? (yelling) Old or new?! Old or new?!

这则留言是新的还是旧的？（大叫）新的还是旧的？！新的还是旧的？！

Ross

It's old, it's definitely old. Didn't you hear the, the double beep?

是旧的，绝对是旧的。你没听到两声哔吗？

Monica

What if it's new? I mean, we agreed not to talk again, unless we had something really important to say. Shouldn't I call him back?

若是新的怎么办？我是说，我们说好不联络的，除非有很重要的事。我该不该回电话？

Chandler

Honey, you did call him back. 'Cause, it's, it's really old.

甜心，你已经打过了。因为，这是旧的留言。

Ross

Yeah, see Mon, listen, listen. When Carol and I broke up, I went through the same thing. And you know what I did?

是啊，你听，摩妮卡，你听。当卡萝与我分手时，我也经历过一样的事。你知道我怎么做吗？

Monica

Huh?

嗯？

Ross

I.....got.....dressed. Really, really quickly. Okay, okay. (Rachel starts to follow Monica into her room, but Ross stops her and sends her back to her room.)

我……去……换好衣服。真的，非常快。好了，好了。（瑞秋想跟着摩妮卡进房间，罗斯拦住她，把她推回自己的房间）

There we go, there we go.

这就对了，这就对了。

Chandler

You know what, okay, fine. Don't get up, you just sit right there. I just hope, you don't mind, you know, my hand right here. (holds his hand a couple of inches in front of Joey's face) Op, not touching, can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! (Joey flings some dip onto Phoebe's dress)

你知道吗，好吧，算了。别起来了，就坐在那里吧。我只希望你别介意，我的手放在这里。（把手举在乔伊脸前几英寸处）哦，没碰到，不能生气！没碰到，不能生气！没碰到，不能生气！（乔伊把一些蘸酱弹到菲比的裙子上）

Phoebe

Ah! Oh my God! You r-r-rotten boys!

啊！我的天啊！你们这些坏孩子！

Chandler and Joey

Sorry Phoebe.

对不起，菲比。

Joey

I'm so sorry.

我很抱歉。

Phoebe

What am I gonna do?

我该怎么办？

Ross

No, no, don't, don't, rub it! Don't! (clapping) What gets out hummus?! What gets out hummus?!

别，别，别抹！别！（拍手）有什么可以去除豆泥？！有什么可以去除豆泥？！

Phoebe

Monica, Monica, you know what gets out hummus.

摩妮卡，摩妮卡，你知道有什么可以去除豆泥。

Monica

If it is a new message, what is he calling to say?

如果那个留言是新的，他到底打来说什么？

Phoebe

Okay, thanks. Yeah, I'll try that.

好，谢谢，我会试试看的。

Chandler

Maybe he's calling to say your obsessive and crazy.

说不定他打来说你执迷不悟而且太疯狂。

Monica

So, should I call him back?

所以，我该不该回电话给他？

The Guys

Noo! (Monica starts to go back into her room and stops) NO!

不！（摩妮卡走回房间又停住）不！

Chandler

All right, fine, you know what, we'll both sit in the chair. (sits on Joey's lap) I'm soooo, comfortable.

好吧，随便啊，我们干脆一起坐在椅子上。（坐在乔伊腿上）我好舒服啊。

Joey

Me too. In fact, I think I might be a little too comfortable.

我也是。事实上，我可能有点太舒服了。

Chandler

All right! (jumps up)

好吧！（跳起来）

Ross

Okay, look, we have nineteen minutes. Okay, Chandler, I want you to go and change! Okay. And then, when you come back, Joey will go change, and he'll have vacated the chair. Okay. Okay.

好，听着，我们有19分钟。钱德，我要你去换衣服！好。等你回来后，乔伊去换衣服，他就会把椅子空出来。好了，好了。

Chandler

All right! Fine! I'm going. But when I get back it's chair sitting, and I'm the guy who's....sitting in a chair! (leaves)

好！行！我要走了。但等我回来后，这里就是椅子王国，而我是……坐在椅子上的那个人！（离开）

Rachel

(entering from her room) Is this a little too... (sees Phoebe) Pheebs, what happened?

（从卧室走出来）这是不是有点太……（看到菲比）菲比，怎么回事？

Phoebe

Hummus. I got the hummus.

豆泥，我沾到豆泥了。

Rachel

Ooooh! Honey, well we'll find you something. Do you wanna wear my black jacket?

噢！甜心，我们会找出衣服给你穿。你要不要穿我的黑外套？

Phoebe

That won't go with this dress though.

这样跟洋装就不搭配了。

Rachel

No, you're right. Well, we'll find something. Let's just get you out of that. Come on.

没错。好吧，我们会找到的。来吧，我们把这件脱掉。

Ross

No, no, no, no, no, no, not out of that, not out of clothes.

不，不，不，不，不，别脱掉，千万别把衣服脱掉。

Rachel

Monica, can Phoebe borrow your green dress?

摩妮卡，菲比可以借你的绿洋装穿吗？

Monica

I called him.

我打给他了。

All

Nooo.

不。

Monica

Yes. Well I got his machine and I left a message. But it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, because you know it was like a casual, breezy message. It was breezy! Oh God, what if it wasn't breezy?

对，我进入他的答录机然后我留言了。不过没关系，因为那是个随兴、轻松的留言。很轻松！天啊，若听起来并不轻松该怎么办？

Phoebe

Well, how could it not be breezy, no, 'cause, you're, you're in such a breezy place.

怎么可能不轻松？不会，因为你是在一个很轻松的地方啊。

Monica

Here, I got it. I'll will play my message for you guys, and you can tell me if it's breezy enough.

我知道了，我播出我的留言，你们再告诉我是否够轻松。

Joey

Monica, how are you gonna do that?

摩妮卡，你怎么可能那样做？

Monica

I know the code to his answering machine.

我知道他答录机的密码。

Ross

Okay, Mon, I really don't think this is the... Okay, you're dialing, you are dialing.

好，摩妮卡，我不认为现在应该……好，你在拨号了，你在拨号了。

(Chandler enters, and Joey is standing near the chair, they have a show down to see who gets the chair and Joey wins)

（钱德走进来，乔伊站在椅子旁边，两人对峙争夺椅子，乔伊赢了）

Richard

(on machine) "Hi, this is Richard. Please, leave a message at the tone."

（答录机）“我是理查，请在哔声后留言。”

Machine

"You have two new messages."

“你有两个新讯息。”

Joey

Wow, what a cool job. (in a machine voice) 'You have two new messages.' 'Please, pass the pie.'

哇，真是个好工作。（模仿答录机声音）“你有两个新讯息。”“请把派递给我。”

Monica

(on machine) "Hi, it's Monica. I'm just checking in 'cause I got this message from you and I didn't know if it was old or new or what. So, I'm just checkin'. So let me know, or don't, whatever. I'm breezy."

（答录机留言）“嗨，我是摩妮卡。我只是想确定一下，因为我有一通留言，不知道是新的还是旧的。所以，我只是问问看。告诉我吧，或者不告诉我，都可以。我很轻松。”

Joey

Hey, you can't say you're breezy, that, that totally negates the breezy.

嘿，你不能说“我很轻松”，这样就不轻松了嘛。

Woman's Voice

(on machine) Hola, it's me, yesterday was really fun. Call me about this weekend, okay.

（答录机）“你好啊，是我。昨天真的很有趣。打电话给我谈谈周末的计划，好吗。”

Joey

Now she sounded breezy.

看，她听起来就很轻松。

Commercial Break

广告

Monica

He's seeing someone. I can't believe he's seeing someone.

他开始约会了。我真不敢相信他开始约会。

Phoebe

Monica, you don't know that.

摩妮卡，你又不知道那是谁。

Monica

Well, who's voice was that?

那么那是谁的声音？

Chandler

Maybe it was his sister's. You know, maybe it was his daughter's.

说不定是他妹妹的，说不定是他女儿的。

Monica

Michelle! Of course, it was Michelle! Did it sound like Michelle?

蜜雪儿！一定是了！听起来像蜜雪儿吗？

Ross

Oh, great. It's starting to rain, that will make it easy to get a cab.

太好了，开始下雨了，这样计程车又更难叫了。

Monica

It was Michelle. It was definitely Michelle.

是蜜雪儿，绝对是蜜雪儿。

Rachel

Pheebs, you go with Monica and try on her green dress. If that doesn't work, you can wear my gray silk one. Oh, gosh, what am I wearing?!

菲比，你去跟摩妮卡试穿她的绿洋装。不适合就穿我的灰色丝质洋装。天啊，那我要穿哪件？

Ross

You don't, you don't know what your wearing?

你还不知道自己要穿什么？

Rachel

Well, hon-ey. I'm just trying to look nice for your big night.

嗯，亲爱的。今晚是你的大日子，我只是希望自己好看一点。

Ross

Yeah, which, which we have to leave for in exactly twelve minutes. All right, come on, I'll just pick something out for you.

是啊，而我们在12分钟内必须出门。好吧，来吧，我帮你选衣服。

Chandler

All right, you will notice that I am fully dressed. I, in turn, have noticed that you are not. So in the words of A. A. Milne, "Get out of my chair, dillhole!"

“离开我的椅子，驴蛋！”

Joey

Okay. (he gets up and takes the cushions with him, as he starts to leave)

好吧。（他起身，带着椅垫一起离开）

Chandler

What are you doing?

你在干什么？

Joey

You said I had to give you the chair, you didn't say anything about the cushions.

你叫我离开椅子啊，你又没说不能带走椅垫。

Chandler

The cushions are the essence of the chair!

但椅垫是椅子的精华！

Joey

That's right! I'm taking the essence.

没错，我要带走精华。

Chandler

Oh-ho, it'll be back. Oh-ho, there's nobody in the room.

哦吼，他会回来的。哦吼，这里什么人也没有。

Ross

Look, I'm sorry, I thought it looked pretty.

对不起，我觉得这样很美。

Rachel

Ross, that was a Halloween costume, unless you would like me to go to this thing as Little Bo Peep.

罗斯，这是万圣节服装，除非你要我穿得像小牧羊女一样。

Ross

Look, I didn't recognize it without that inflatable sheep.

若没有那只可充气的羊，我还真认不出来。

Rachel

Yeah, which, by the way Chandler, I would like back one of these days.

是啊，对了，钱德，我最近想要一只回来。

Phoebe

Oh Rach, good, listen isn't this perfect for me! (she's wearing another dress on a hanger around her neck)

哦，瑞秋，很好啊。这件是不是很适合我！（她脖子上挂着一个衣架，上面套着另一件洋装）

Rachel

Oh, it's perfect! But not for tonight.

哦，太棒了！但是不适合今晚。

Phoebe

Well, of course not for tonight. Yeah, hi!

当然不适合今晚。是啊，嗨！

Ross

Not for tonight. Not for tonight! Wh-what, what, what, are you doing?

不适合今晚，那你穿它干嘛！你、你在做什么？

Rachel

No honey, we're sorry, we didn't mean it. I love you. I love you.

不，亲爱的，对不起，不是故意的。我爱你，我爱你。

Chandler

We used them as pillows when we went camping.

我们去露营时，把它们当枕头。

Ross

What?

什么？

Chandler

(shyly) The sheep.

（害羞地）那些羊啊。

Ross

Hey, what you do on your own time...

嘿，你的闲暇时间在干嘛……

Joey

(entering) Where's my underwear?!

（走进来）我的内裤呢？

Ross

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on, come on, what. You took his underwear?

哇，哇，哇。拜托，你拿了他的内裤？

Chandler

He took my essence!

他拿走我的精华啊！

Ross

Okay, now hold on. Joey, why, why can't you just wear the underwear you're wearing now?

好，等等。乔伊，你干嘛不穿你身上的内裤？

Joey

Because, I'm not wearing any underwear now.

因为我现在根本没有穿内裤。

Ross

Okay, then why do you have to wear underwear tonight?

那你今晚为何要穿内裤？

Joey

It's a rented tux. Okay. I'm not gonna go commando in another man's fatigues.

因为这燕尾服是用租的。我不想没穿内裤就穿别人的衣服。

Chandler

Well, then it looks like somebody is gonna have to give back somebody his cushions.

那有人就得把椅垫还给别人。

Joey

Okay, you hide my clothes. I'm gonna do the exact opposite to you.

好，你把我衣服藏起来，我要做一件完全相反的事。

Chandler

What are you, what are you gonna show me my clothes?

什么？难道你要给我看我的衣服吗？

Joey

Hey, opposite, is opposite! (leaves)

嘿，相反的，就是相反的事！（离开）

Chandler

He's got nothing!

他什么都没有！

Phoebe

(entering from Rachel's room, wearing a huge bow to cover the stain) Okay, I'm ready.

（从瑞秋的房间走出来，戴着一个大蝴蝶结遮住污渍）好，我准备好了。

Ross and Chandler

Oh, aaaah!

哦，啊！

Phoebe

Rachel, didn't have anything that I liked, so, but she had this Christmas ribbon, and I thought, 'All right, fine I'll be political.'

瑞秋那儿没有我喜欢的，除了这个圣诞彩带。我想，好吧，那我就政治化一点啰。

Chandler

What are you supporting?

那你在支持什么？

Phoebe

Duh!! Christmas!

当然是耶诞节！

Ross

Okay, hey, that's okay with me. Two down and I have exactly twelve minutes.... Wha, my watch stopped. My watch. (shows Chandler) Okay, see, the, the dinosaur tail isn't going around any more. (grabs Chandler's watch) What time is it? It's 7:33, I have seven minutes. I have seven minutes!!

好吧，我无所谓。已经搞定两个了，我还有整整12分钟……什么？我的表停了。我的表。（给钱德看）你看，这个恐龙指针的尾巴不动了。（抢过钱德的手表）现在几点？已经7点33分，我还有7分钟。我还有7分钟！！

Rachel

(entering from her room) Okay, Pheebs, quick, what shoes should I wear? The black or the purple?

（从卧室走出来）好，菲比，快，我该穿哪双鞋？黑色的还是紫色的？

Ross

Just, just, just pick one!

随便挑一双，好吗？

Phoebe

Okay, okay, okay, the black. But, oh, do you have black, with the little strappys?

好啦，黑色的。但是，哦，你有没有黑色的然后有细带子的？

Rachel

Yeahh, but, but those really go better with pants. Maybe I should wear pants?

有，不过那种适合配裤子。或者我该穿裤子？

Ross

Yeah, pants, what, what an idea. Or better yet, um, how 'bout you go without any pants. Look, I don't know what you're trying to do to me, but just get your butt in there and pick out any shoes that fit your feet, okay. No, no I don't care if they match. I don't care if they make your ankles or your knees or your earlobes look fat. Okay.

对了，穿裤子是好主意。或者更好，嗯，不如不要穿裤子。我不知道你在做什么，但是你快进去，找出随便一双可以穿的鞋子，好吗？我不管它是否搭配，我不管它是否会让你脚踝、膝盖或耳垂看起来胖胖的。快去吧。

Rachel

But I...

可是我……

Ross

No, no, no just do it. Go in there and pick something out so we can go.

别啰嗦，照做就是了。进去房间里，挑出要穿的，然后我们就可以走了。

Rachel

All right.

好吧。

Ross

Thank you!

谢谢！

Monica

(entering from her room) Okay. I gotta call Michelle. I gotta see if that was her voice or not. I'm sorry, I just have to.

（从卧室走出来）好，我要打给蜜雪儿，确定那是她的声音。抱歉，我一定要打。

Ross

It was, it was her voice.

没错，那就是她的声音。

Chandler

Monica, I think you've gone over to the bad place.

摩妮卡，我想你又开始偏执了。

Michelle

Hola! Hello. Hello?

（西班牙语）喂？喂？

Monica

Okay. That was her right?

好，那是她的声音，对吗？

Phoebe

Definitely.

绝对是。

Monica

See there you go. Woo! We're out of the woods. Okay, I'll get dressed now.

看吧，这样就解决啦。喔！我们的危险解除啦。好，我要去换衣服了。

Ross

Yay!

好极了！

(phone rings)

（电话铃声响起）

Phoebe

I'll get it, okay. (answers phone) Hi, Monica and Rachel's. (listens) Yeah, just a second, can I ask who's calling. (to Monica) Oh, ew, it's Michelle! Ew! She, she must have that Caller Id thing. You should get that.

我来接。（接起电话）你好，摩妮卡与瑞秋的家。（听电话）好，请稍等，请问您是哪位？（对摩妮卡）哦，呃，是蜜雪儿！呃！她一定有来电显示功能。你也该去装一个。

Monica

(on phone) Uh, Michelle. Yeah, that was me, I-I dialed your number by mistake. (listens) Oh, you're so sweet. Yeah, we were a great couple. I know I really miss him. Well, you know how it is, it's that....

（讲电话）呃，蜜雪儿？对，就是我。我不小心拨了你的电话。（听电话）哦，你真的好贴心。是啊，我们是一对很好的情侣。我知道，我真的很想他。嗯，你了解的……

Chandler

(to Phoebe) You know what's weird. Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?

（对菲比）你知道奇怪的是什么？唐老鸭从来不穿裤子。但是当他洗完澡出来，他总是在腰间围上一条毛巾。我是说，那算什么？

Monica

(on phone) Michelle, I only beeped in so I could hear my message. I mean that's allowed. Yeah-huh! I mean look, yeah, you know what I would really appreciate it if you didn't tell your Dad about. What do you mean, you're not comfortable with this? Come on we're friends!! (Michelle hangs up) That bitch always hated me. I'm calling her back.

（讲电话）蜜雪儿，我只是进入信箱来听我自己的留言。那样总可以吧。嗯哼！我是说，我真的希望你别告诉你爸……你说你不高兴是什么意思？我们是朋友呢！（蜜雪儿挂断）那个小婊子根本就讨厌我。我要再打给她。

Ross

No, no, no, no. Tick, tick, tick, tick.

别，别，别，别！（指针滴答声）

Monica

Okay, fine. (runs to her room)

好吧，算了。（跑回房间）

Chandler

They got a phone in there, right?

她房间里有电话吧？

Phoebe

Okay, we're on it. We're on it.

好，我们来处理吧。

(Rachel comes out from her room wearing sweat pants and a sweatshirt)

（瑞秋从卧室走出来，穿着运动裤和运动衫）

Ross

Um. I know it says black tie optional, but, um this may be pushing it a little, um.

嗯，我知道单子上写“打领带与否，自行决定”，但你这样好像过于随便了？嗯。

Rachel

I'm not gonna gooo.

我不去了。

Ross

You're not going to go.

你不去了？

Rachel

No, I think I'm gonna catch up on my correspondence.

不，我想更新我的通讯录。

Ross

How, how, um how can you not be going?

你怎么可以不去呢？

Rachel

I'm not gonna gooo, so I think that will accomplish the not going.

我就是不去了，我想这样就表明了“我不去”的意思。

Ross

Um, you know, just out of curiosity...

嗯，我只是好奇……

Rachel

Well, ever since I was humiliated and yelled at in front of my friends, I'm just, I don't know, not in a museum benefitty kind of mood.

自从你在我朋友面前羞辱我，又对我大吼，我就没有情绪去参加什么博物馆的慈善会了。

Ross

Right. Right, okay, okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I yelled.

对，对，好吧，好吧。抱歉，我对你大吼大叫，对不起。

Rachel

It's fine.

没关系。

Ross

No, but, your-your mad.

可是你在生气。

Rachel

I'm not mad.

我没有生气。

Ross

No.

不。

Rachel

I'm just not going.

我只是不去了。

Ross

Your not going.

你不去？

Rachel

Right.

对。

Ross

Okay. You know that I-I have to go.

好吧。你知道我一定要去吧？

Rachel

Um, hum.

嗯。

Ross

Right. So is it gonna be like 'I'm abandoning you while your upset.'

那这样会不会变成“我在你难过时离你而去”？

Rachel

No.

不。

Ross

No, because your not upset.

不，因为你不难过。

Rachel

Right.

对。

Ross

About the yelling.

我对你大吼，你不难过？

Rachel

Right, and the humiliating.

对，还包括你的羞辱。

Ross

Oh, well of course, the humiliating. So, so wee, we're okay.

哦，当然啰，还有羞辱。那么，我们之间没问题？

Rachel

Um, hum.

嗯。

Ross

We're good.

我们之间没问题？

Rachel

Right.

对。

Ross

Okay. Honey?

好了，亲爱的？

Rachel

Yes, Ross. (turns toward him)

是，罗斯。（转向他）

Ross

I love you. (goes to kiss her and she turns away.)

我爱你。（想吻她，她转过头去）

Phoebe

(yelling from the bedroom) Get away from that! No! (she comes into the living room carrying the phone) She's just getting dressed.

（从卧室大喊）把电话放下！不！（她拿着电话走进客厅）她已经开始换衣服了。

Chandler

Is it wrong that I was totally aroused by that?

我居然因此而兴奋，我是不是有问题？

(Joey enters wearing a lot of clothes)

（乔伊走进来，穿了很多衣服）

Joey

Okay, buddy-boy. Here it is. You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.

好啦，兄弟，就是这样啦。你把我衣服藏起来，我就把你所有的衣服穿上。

Chandler

Oh my God! That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear!!

天啊！这算什么相反的事！

Joey

Look at me! I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando...

你看看我，我是钱德！我还能再多穿一件衣服吗？或许我不该不穿内裤的……

Chandler

Oooo-ooh!

哦——哦！

Joey

Yeah. Whew, it's hot with all of this stuff on. I ah, I better not do any, I don't know, lunges. (starts doing lunges)

是啊。穿这么多真是热死我了。我最好别再做些运动，像是蹲马步之类的。（开始做蹲马步）

Ross

Okay, okay. Enough, enough with the lunging. No! I'm sick of this. Okay. I've had it up to here with you two! Neither you can come to the party!

够了，别再蹲马步了。不！我快被烦死了。我受够了你们两个！你们俩都不准参加晚会！

Chandler

Jeez, what a baby.

天啊，真幼稚。

Joey

Yeah, Ross, way to ruin it. I was just going to get dressed.

是啊，罗斯，你干嘛破坏一切。我正要去换衣服了。

Ross

You know what I don't care. The only person I cared about getting dressed, is the one person that says she's not even gonna go. Look Rach, I'm sorry. Okay. Look, I-I wa, I was a jerk. I'm sorry I yelled. I want you there, I need you there. Look, what, what can I do that can show you how much, how much I want you to be there.

那个唯一我会在乎她是否换好衣服的人，却是那个不肯去的人。听着，瑞秋，我很抱歉，好吗？我真是个混球，抱歉对你大吼。我希望你能去，我需要你去。要怎样做才能证明我有多希望你去？

Joey

You could drink the fat.

你可以把那杯油喝掉。

Ross

Hi, welcome, to an adult conversation.

欢迎你进人大人的谈话世界。

Rachel

No, no, no, now wait, wa, wa, waa-it a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. That actually, uh, that sounds interesting.

不，不，等一下……那听起来挺有意思的。

Ross

What?

什么？

Rachel

I think you should drink the fat.

我想你应该把那杯油喝掉。

Joey

Yaaaay!

耶！

Ross

Okay, okay. If that is what it takes to show you how much you mean to me, and how much I want you there. Then that's what I'll do.

好，若这样就能证明你对我有多重要，以及我多希望你能去，那我就愿意去做。

Phoebe

Oh, wait, let me get you another glass. That's been sitting out.

哦，等等，我帮你换一个杯子，这一杯放好久了。

Ross

I think this will be fine. Okay, vanilla milkshake, just a vanilla milkshake, with chicken bits floating in it. Cheers. (starts to drink, but Rachel stops him just before he starts drinking)

我想这样可以了。好吧，香草奶昔，只不过是香草奶昔……只不过有鸡肉的碎屑浮着。干杯！（正要喝，瑞秋在最后一刻拦住他）

Rachel

No, no, no, wait! Okay, okay. Don't! I'll go, I'll go!

不，不要！好吧，我去就是了！

Ross

You will?!

你肯去？

Rachel

You were really gonna do that, weren't you?

你真的会那么做，对吧？

Ross

Well, yeah.

是啊。

Rachel

You were gonna drink the fat.

你真的愿意喝下那些油？

Joey

Let's see what else he'll do!

我们来看看他还能做什么！

Ross

(to Joey) How 'bout instead you, go get changed! (to Chandler) You, give him back his underwear! I'm gonna go get a cab, and I want everyone down stairs in two minutes! Monica!

（对乔伊）不如你现在去换衣服！（对钱德）你把他的内裤还给他！我去叫计程车，我要大家在两分钟内下楼！摩妮卡！

(Joey and Chandler start to leave, Joey is lunging as he is walking)

（乔伊和钱德开始离开，乔伊边走边做蹲马步）

Chandler

Stop it. Stop it!

别做了，别再做了！

(Monica runs into the living room, and starts dialing the phone)

（摩妮卡跑进客厅，开始拨电话）

Phoebe

Ross, went to get a cab so we can all... No, wh-what are you doing! No, Monica, no!

罗斯去叫计程车了，那我们……不！你在干什么！不，摩妮卡，不要！

Richard

(on machine) Hi, this is Richard.

（答录机）我是理查。

Machine

You have three new messages.

你有三个新讯息。

Monica

Not any more!

再也没有了！

Machine

Message erased. To record a message begin speaking at the tone.

讯息已删除。请在哔声后留言。

Monica

Hi, uh, Richard it's Monica, um, listen I did something kind of crazy tonight, um, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I don't know. Um, anyway, I, I, I beeped into your machine and I heard a message that, that freaked me out, and um, you know what Michelle will tell you the rest. I, I, um, I'm sorry, okay, I, I hope that we can forget the whole thing. Okay, bye.

你好，理查，我是摩妮卡。嗯，我今晚做了一件很疯狂的事，嗯，或许我“那个”快来了，我也不晓得。嗯，反正我进入你的答录机，然后听到一个留言，快把我搞疯了。嗯，其他的蜜雪儿会告诉你。我很抱歉，我希望你忘了这整件事。好了，再见。

Machine

Your outgoing message has now been changed.

你的主人留言已经更改。

Monica

Outgoing! Did that say outgoing?! Not, outgoing!!!

主人留言？他刚刚是说主人留言？不是主人留言！

Monica

(on machine) "Hi, uh, Richard it's Monica, um, listen I did something kind of crazy tonight, um, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I don't know." Nooo!!

（答录机播放）“你好，理查，我是摩妮卡。嗯，我今晚做了一件疯狂的事，嗯，或许我‘那个’快来了，我也不晓得。”不！！

Phoebe

How did you do that?

你是怎么做的？

Monica

I don't know!

我不知道！

Machine

Good-bye.

再见。

Monica

Noooo!!!!

不！！！

Ross

(entering) Okay, okay, okay, I've got two cabs and no people. Go! Go! Go!

（走进来）好了，我叫到两辆计程车，但没人下来！快，快，快！

Monica

Maybe we could call the phone company. Maybe they could change the message. Maybe they can change his number.

或许我们可以叫电话公司改掉那个留言。或许他们可以把他的电话号码改掉。

Phoebe

Yeah, after this, I think he'll be doing that himself.

我想经过这件事，他会自己处理了。

Ross

Rachel!! (she enters) Wow! You, uh, you look, wow!

瑞秋！（她走进来）哇！你，呃，你看起来……哇！

Rachel

And I still have about five seconds to spare. (kisses him) Okay, that was about seven seconds.

而我还剩下五秒钟。（吻他）好吧，这样大概花掉七秒钟。

Ross

So we're a little late.

所以我们迟了一点。

Rachel

Come on. (they start to leave) Oh! And, uh, by the way....

走吧。（他们开始离开）哦！还有，顺便说一下……

Ross

What?

什么事？

Rachel

I'm going commando, too.

我里面也没穿。

Ross

Awwww!!!

啊！！！

Closing Credits

片尾

Sherman Whitfield

Dr. Geller, Sherman Whitfield, London Institute.

盖勒博士，我是伦敦来的雪曼·惠菲。

Ross

Wow! What a pleasure.

哇，很荣幸见到你。

Whitfield

(sits down) Well, I have to tell you, I was quite impressed with your paper on Pre-Cretaceous fossils. Yeah, it confirmed everything that I have written.

（坐下）嗯，我得告诉你，你的前白垩纪化石报告写得真不错。是的，你再次验证了我以前写的东西。

Chandler

Excuse me. Hi.

对不起，你好。

Whitfield

Yes?

什么事？

Chandler

Well, your kind of sitting in my seat.

你好像坐在我的位子上。

Whitfield

What do you mean, your seat?

什么意思？你的位子？

Chandler

I mean, I was sitting there.

我是说，我本来坐在这里。

Whitfield

But, you got up!

但是，你起来了！

Chandler

But, I never left the room!

可是我没有离开这个房间！

Whitfield

But, you left the chair area.

但是你离开椅子了。

Chandler

All right, that's it, give me your underwear.

好吧，就这样，把你的内裤给我。

End

结束