The One With the Princess Leia Fantasy

Joey

I'm tellin' ya that girl totally winked at me.

那个女孩一定在跟我使眼色。

All

Did not, she did not wink at you... (sees that their sacred couch is occupied by strangers).

她才没有，她绝对没有跟你使眼色……（发现他们心爱的沙发被陌生人占了）

Chandler

Huh. (They all leave, dejected)

哼。（他们沮丧地离开）

Opening Credits

片头

Ross

I have to say Tupolo Honey by Van Morrison.

我会认为是范·莫里森的《塔波洛蜜糖》。

Rachel

Nooo Way! The most romantic song ever is The Way We Were.

不会吧！史上最浪漫的歌是《往日情怀》。

Phoebe

See, I-I think that one that Elton John wrote for, um, that guy on Who's The Boss.

我觉得是艾尔顿·强为《妙管家》里那家伙写的歌。

Rachel

What song was that, Pheebs?

那是什么歌，菲比？

Phoebe

(singing) Hold me close, young Tony Dan-za.

（唱）抱紧我，年轻的汤尼·丹佐。

(Monica enters from her bedroom)

（莫妮卡从卧室走出来）

Phoebe

Hi Monica!

嗨，莫妮卡！

Ross

Hey Mon!

嘿，莫妮卡！

Rachel

Hey Mon!

嘿，莫妮卡！

(she just walks straight into the bathroom)

（她径直走进了浴室）

Phoebe

Oh my God, has she slept at all?

天啊，她到底有没有睡觉？

Ross

Nope.

没有。

Rachel

No, it's been three nights in a row.

没有，已经连续三个晚上了。

Ross

Yeah, she finally stopped crying yesterday, but then she found one of Richard's cigar butts out on the terrace, so.

从昨天起，她终于不哭了，但是她又在阳台发现了理查抽过的雪茄烟头。

Phoebe

Oh, okay that explains it. I got a call at two in the morning, but all I could hear was, like, this high squeaky sound, so I thought okay its like a mouse or a opossum. But then I realized where would a mouse or a opossum get the money to make the phone call.

好吧，这说明了为何我在清晨两点接到一通电话，而我只能听到一些吱吱的声音，我就想“一定是老鼠或负鼠”，然后我就想，老鼠或负鼠怎么会有钱打电话呢？

Chandler

Morning.

早。

Joey

Morning, hey, you made pancakes?

早安，嘿，你做了松饼啊？

Chandler

Yeah, like there's any way I could ever do that.

是啊，你还以为我真的会做呢。

Janice

(entering and singing) Monica and Rachel had syrup, now I can get my man to cheer up. (laughs hysterically) Good morning Joey.

（走进来，唱）莫妮卡和瑞秋有糖浆，现在我可以让我的男人开心了。（歇斯底里地笑）早安，乔伊。

Joey

(sarcastically) Good morning.

（讽刺地）早安。

Chandler

Hey, you know what, here's a thought. Why don't you stay home from work today and just hang out with me.

嘿，你干脆别去上班，跟我在一起就好了。

Janice

Oh, I wish. Look, honey, you have that report to finish, and I gotta go see my lawyer.

哦，但愿如此。你看，亲爱的，你有报告要做，而我得去见律师。

Chandler

I can not believe that I am going out with someone that is getting divorced. I'm such a grown up.

我真不敢相信，我竟跟要离婚的女生约会。我真像个大人。

Janice

(laughs) I-I-I gotta go, I gotta go. Okay, not without a kiss.

（笑）我、我得走了，我得走了。给我个吻才能走。

Chandler

Well, maybe I won't kiss you, and then you'll have to stay.

或者我就不亲你，这样你就会留下来。

Joey

(under his breath) Kiss her! Kiss her!

（低声）亲她！亲她！

Janice

I'll see you later, sweetie. Bye Joey.

再见甜心，再见乔伊。

Joey

B-bye Janice. So when ya' dumpin' her.

再见，珍妮丝。你什么时候要甩掉她？

Chandler

Nope, not this time.

不会，这次不会了。

Joey

Come on, quite yankin' me.

拜托，别整我了。

Chandler

I'm not yanking you.

我没有整你。

Joey

This is Janice.

她可是珍妮丝。

Chandler

Yeah, I know. She makes me happy.

对，我知道。她让我很愉快。

Joey

Okay. All right. You look me in the eye and tell me, without blinking, that you're not breaking up with her. No blinking.

好，你看着我的眼睛告诉我，不可以眨眼睛，说你不会跟她分手，别眨眼睛。

Chandler

(looks him in the eye) I'm not breaking up with her! (they stare at each other for a while, then Joey blows in his face)

（看着他的眼睛）我不会跟她分手！（他们对视了一会儿，然后乔伊往他脸上吹了口气）

Monica

God, look what I found in the drain.

天啊，你看我在排水管里发现什么？

Rachel

What?!

什么？

Monica

It's some of Richard's hair! (holds it close to Ross) What do I do with this?

这些是理查的头发！（凑到罗斯跟前）我该拿这些怎么办？

Ross

Getting it away from me would be job one.

第一件事就是把它从我身边拿开。

Monica

It's weird, but you know what I don't wanna throw this away. I mean this is like all I have left of him, gross, drain hair. Ooh! (drops it in Ross's cereal)

奇怪，但我并不想把它丢掉。这些是我仅有的属于他的东西，恶心的排水管头发。哦！（掉进罗斯的麦片里）

Phoebe

Ooh. Oh. It looks like, like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal. (Ross gives her this look, like 'Yeah, doesn't it', and gets up to dump it down the drain)

哦。看起来好像一个小人在你的麦片里淹死了。（罗斯看她一眼，意思是“可不是吗”，然后站起来倒进排水管）

Monica

God, what is wrong with me.

我是怎么了？

Ross

You need to get some sleep.

你需要一些睡眠。

Monica

I need to get some Richard.

我需要的是理查。

Rachel

Monica, you broke up with him for a reason.

莫妮卡，你跟他分手是有原因的。

Monica

I know, I know. I'm just so tired of-of missing him. I'm tired of wondering why hasn't he called. Why hasn't he called!

我知道，我知道。我只是不想再这么想他。不愿再去想，他为何不打来？他为何都没打来！

Phoebe

Maybe, because you told him not to.

可能因为你叫他别再打来？

Monica

What are you the memory woman?

你到底是什么？记忆女王吗？

Joey

(entering) Their not breaking up. Chandler and Janice. Their not breaking up. He didn't blink or anything.

（走进来）他们不会分手！我是说钱德和珍妮丝，他们不会分手！他的眼睛连眨一下都没有。

Rachel

Well, you know I'm not surprised. I mean have you seen them together, they're really cute.

我一点也不惊讶。你看过他们在一起的样子吗？他们真的好可爱。

Joey

Cute! This is Janice! You remember Janice?

可爱？那可是珍妮丝！你记得珍妮丝吗？

Rachel

Yes, Joey, I remember, she's annoying, but you know what she's-she's his girlfriend now. I mean what can we do?

记得啊，乔伊，她很惹人厌，但是你知道吗，她现在是他的女朋友了。那我们能怎么办？

Joey

There you go! That's the spirit I'm looking for! What can we do? Huh? All right who's first? Huh? Ross?

这就对了！我就是要这种精神！“我们能怎么办？”好，谁先来？罗斯？

Ross

Well I'm thinking that Chandler's our friend and Janice makes him happy, so I say we just all be adult about it and accept her.

钱德是我们的朋友，而珍妮丝能让他快乐，所以我们就成熟点，接受她。

Joey

Yeah, we'll call that Plan B. All right?

这个先归类在B计划，好吧？

Rachel

(she leans over and kisses him on the cheek) Honey, I was wondering....

（靠过去亲他脸颊）甜心，我在想啊……

Ross

Hmm?

嗯？

Rachel

Do you still have that, um, Navy uniform?

你那套海军制服还在吗？

Ross

Nooo, I had to return it to the costume place.

不，我拿去戏服店还了。

Rachel

Hmm.

嗯。

Ross

I think I have an old band uniform from high school.

我还有一套高中乐团的旧制服。

Rachel

You remember not having sex in high school, right?

你记得高中时不能做爱吧？

Ross

Yeah.

是啊。

Rachel

Well honey, what about you?

甜心，那么你呢……

Ross

What?

什么？

Rachel

I mean do you have any fun, you know, fantasy type things?

你有过任何有趣的幻想吗？

Ross

No.

没有。

Rachel

Come on you gotta have one!

别这样，你一定有。

Ross

Nope.

没有。

Rachel

Ross, you know what...

罗斯，你知道吗……

Ross

What?

什么？

Rachel

...if you tell me, I might do it.

如果你跟我说，或许我会帮你实现。

Ross

Okay, umm. Did you ever see, um, Return Of The Jedi?

好的，嗯。你有没有看过《星际大战》的《绝地大反攻》？

Rachel

Yeah.

看过。

Ross

Do you remember the scene with, um, Jabba the Hut? Well Jabba had as, as his prisoner, um, Princess Leia.

你记不记得那场戏，当赫特族的贾霸出现时？贾霸把他的囚犯莉亚公主……

Rachel

Oooh!

哦！

Ross

Princess Leia, was wearing this, um, gold bikini thing. It was pretty cool.

莉亚公主穿着金色的比基尼，那样子很好看。

Phoebe

Yeah, oh, Princess Leia and the gold bikini, every guy our age loved that.

莉亚公主穿金色比基尼？我们这年纪的男人都很喜欢。

Rachel

Really!

真的吗！

Phoebe

Um, um. It's huge. Yeah, that's the moment, when-when, you know she stopped being a princess, and became, like, a woman, you know.

很重要的！那个时刻，她不再是个公主，她变成了……一个女人。

Rachel

Did you ever do the-the Leia thing?

你曾扮过莉亚公主吗？

Phoebe

Oh, yeah, um-mm. Oh!

哦，是啊，嗯……哦！

Rachel

Really! That-that great huh?

真的吗？有那么棒啊？

Phoebe

No it's just that I got this new pager and I have it on vibrate. See ya!

不，只是我买了新的呼叫器，我把它调成“震动”。再见！

Ross

(entering with Monica in tow) Hey!

（带着莫妮卡走进来）嘿！

Rachel

Hi you guys!

你们好啊！

Ross

Look who I found standing outside of the Szechwan Dragon staring at a parking meter.

你看我在中国龙餐厅外找到谁了？她盯着停车收费表看。

Rachel

Mon. Hi!

莫妮卡，嗨！

Monica

Hi.

嗨。

Rachel

Why aren't you at work?

你怎么没去上班？

Monica

Oh, they-they sent me home.

他们把我送回家了。

Rachel

Why?

为什么？

Monica

Because I don't work at the Szechwan Dragon.

因为我并不是在中国龙餐厅上班。

Ross

Okay.

好吧。

Rachel

You really, really need to get some sleep, honey.

你真的需要睡一下。

Monica

I know I do.

我知道该睡了。

Ross

Hi.

嗨。

Rachel

Hi.

嗨。

Ross

Guess what?

你猜怎么着？

Rachel

What?

什么？

Ross

They published my paper.

有人要发行我的论文。

Rachel

Oh, really, let me see, let me see.

真的吗？让我看看，让我看看。

Phoebe

Rach, look! (she holds two buns up to her ears to make her hair look like the Princess Leia 'do.) Oh, hi! Where is my strong Ross Skywalker to come rescue me. (Ross stands up horrified) There he is.

瑞秋，你看！（她把两个发髻举到耳边，让头发看起来像莉亚公主的发型）哦，嗨！我那强壮的罗斯·天行者何时会来拯救我？（罗斯惊恐地站起来）他来了。

Chandler

Hey!

嘿！

Joey

Wheel!

轮盘！

Chandler

Of!

盘！

Joey

Fortune! This guy is so stupid. (yelling) It's Count Rushmore!!

幸运！这个家伙好笨。（喊）是“罗斯莫尔公爵”啦！

Chandler

You know, you should really go on this show. All right, listen, I got three tickets to the Rangers tonight. What'd ya' say?

你真的该去参加这个节目。好吧，听着，我有三张今晚游骑兵队的票。你觉得如何？

Joey

I say, 'I am there!' Cool! Aw, is Ross going to?

我说“我一定去”！太棒了！罗斯也会去吗？

Chandler

No, Janice.

不，是珍妮丝。

Joey

Jan-ice. 'Cause I, just, I feel bad for Ross, you know, we-we always go together, we're like the three hocke-teers.

珍妮丝？因为我会替罗斯难过你知道吗？我们总是一起去的，我们是曲棍球三兄弟啊。

Chandler

You know, I may be way out on a limb here, but do you, do you, have a problem with Janice?

我可能误会你了，但你是否反感珍妮丝？

Joey

No, Yeeees. God, how do I say this. (walks into the kitchen, Chandler follows closely, he turns around and gets startled) . Oh, hi, you know that girl from the Greek restaurant with the hair (holds his hands up to signify she has big hair) ?

没有……有啦。天啊，我该怎么说？（走进厨房，钱德勒紧跟着，他转身吓了一跳）哦，嗨，你知道希腊餐厅里那个头发很蓬的女孩子吗？

Chandler

Ooh, that girl that I hate, eww, drives me crazy, eww, eww, oh!

那个我很讨厌的女孩子？她快把我逼疯了。

Joey

Look, I don't hate Janice, she's-she's just a lot to take, you know.

听着，我不讨厌珍妮丝，只是她令人难以忍受。

Chandler

Well, there you go.

你说出来了吧。

Joey

Oh, hey. Come on man, don't look at me like that, she used to drive you nuts before too, remember?

别那样看着我。以前她也快把你逼疯了记得吗？

Chandler

Well, I'm crazy about her now. I think this could be the real thing. Capital 'R'! Capital 'T'! (Joey stares at him) Don't worry, those are the right letters.

但是我现在为她疯狂。这次可能是来真的。大写的'真'！大写的'的'！（乔伊盯着他）别担心，我说的字母是对的。

Joey

Look, what do you want me to say?

你到底要我说什么？

Chandler

I want you to say that you like her!

我要你说你喜欢她！

Joey

I can't. It's like this chemical thing, you know. Every time she starts laughing, I just wanna (grimaces and tenses up) pull my arm off just so that I can have something to throw at her.

我说不出来。这是一种化学作用。每次她一开始笑，我就想（做鬼脸，绷紧身体）把手臂扯下来，好往她身上砸。

Chandler

Thanks for trying. (grabs the ticket and starts to leave) Oh, and by the way there is no Count Rushmore!

谢谢你的努力。（抓起票准备离开）顺便说一句，根本就没有罗斯莫尔公爵！

Joey

Yeah, then-then who's the guy that painted the faces on the mountain? (Chandler gives him a look like 'You stupid idiot!')

对，那到底是谁在罗斯莫尔山上刻了那些总统头像？（钱德勒看他的眼神仿佛在说“你这个白痴”！）

Commercial Break

广告休息

Ross

How could you have told her?

你怎么可以告诉她？

Rachel

Ross, I didn't think it would that big of a deal.

罗斯，我想又没什么大不了的。

Ross

Oh, she didn't think it would be that big of a deal.

哦，“她认为没什么大不了的”？

Rachel

Okay, who are you talking to when you do that?

你这样子是在跟谁讲话？

Ross

Look, that was supposed to be like a private, personal thing between us.

这些应该是我们之间很私密的对话。

Rachel

Okay, Ross, Phoebe is my girlfriend, okay, we tell each other everything. You know, I mean, come on, guys do the same thing, I mean, what about all that locker room stuff.

菲比是我的女性好友，好吗？我们无话不谈。男人也一样啊，那些更衣室里的对话呢？

Ross

That's different, okay. That's like, uh 'Who dated a stripper?' or 'Who did it on the back of the Staten Island Ferry?'.

那又不一样了，我们会谈像是“谁跟脱衣舞娘约会”，或“谁在史坦登岛渡轮后面做爱”。

Rachel

Were both of those Joey?

这两个都是乔伊吧？

Ross

Yeah. Look, you don't, you don't talk about like, you know, your girlfriend and the intimate stuff you, you do with her.

对。但是你们不会谈论女朋友和你跟她之间亲密的事。

Rachel

Not even with your best friend.

连最好的朋友也不谈？

Ross

Noo!

不！

Rachel

That is so sad. You're missing out on so much, Ross. I mean, the bonding and the sharing, you know. And-and knowing that someone else is going through the same thing you are.

真可悲啊。你们错过太多乐趣了，罗斯。那是种互相连结与分享的感觉……并知道她们也和你经历过一样的事。

Ross

Hmph. So what you, you tell each other everything?

哼。那你们什么都跟对方说吗？

Rachel

Pretty much.

差不多啊。

Ross

Did you talk about the night of five times? Do you tell people about the night of five times?

你们有没有谈过一夜五次的纪录？你有没有告诉她们那次一夜五次的纪录？

Rachel

Uh, honey, yeah that was with Carol.

甜心，你那次是跟凯萝。

Ross

I know, but it's still worth mentioning, I think.

我知道，我想还是值得一提。

Phoebe

( in a soothing voice) Relax every muscle in your body. Listen to the plinky-plunky music. Okay, now close your eyes, and think of a happy place. Okay, tell me your happy place.

（用安抚的声音）全身肌肉放松，听着叮叮咚咚的音乐，好，闭上你的眼睛，想一个很愉快的地方。告诉我让你快乐的地方是哪里。

Monica

Richard's living room, drinking wine.

理查家的客厅，一起喝酒。

Phoebe

All right. No, no, no, not a Richard thing, just put down the glass. And get out!

不……不可以跟理查有关。把酒杯放下，快出来！

Monica

I'm sorry, but that's my happy place.

对不起，那是让我快乐的地方。

Phoebe

Well, okay, fine, use my happy place. Okay, I'm just gonna, I have to ask that you don't move anything.

好吧，我的快乐地方借你用，但别弄乱。

Monica

All right, I'll try not to.

我会试着不乱动。

Phoebe

Okay, all right, so, you're in a meadow, millions of stars in the sky....

好，你现在在草地上……天上有一片繁星……

Monica

Do you think breaking up with him was a huge mistake?

你觉得分手是错误的吗？

Phoebe

All right, there are no questions in the happy place. Okay, just, the warm breeze, and the moonlight flowing through the trees....

快乐的地方不准问问题。只有和煦的微风和从树上撒下的月光……

Monica

I'll bet he's totally over me, I'll bet he's fine.

我赌他一定忘了我，我打赌他好得很。

Phoebe

All right, betting and wagering of any kind, are, I'm sure, not permitted in the happy place. Okay. Just-just, you know, the-the lovely waterfalls, and the, the trickling fountains. And the-the calming sounds of the babbling brook....

快乐的地方不允许赌博和下注。那里只有……美丽的瀑布，和缓慢流动着的喷泉，还有低声轻语的小溪，产生平静的音律……

Monica

Okay, this isn't working. I'm still awake and now I have to pee.

好，一点用也没有，我还是醒着的，而且我得去上厕所。

Janice

So, I hear, you hate me!

我听说……你讨厌我！

Joey

I, ah, I never said hate, I was very careful about that.

我没说我讨厌你，我可是很小心的。

Janice

A little birdie told me something about you wanting to rip your arm off and throw it at me.

有人私下告诉我，你想扯下手臂，丢到我身上。

Joey

And you got a 'hate' from that?! You're taking a big leap there...

这样你就觉得我讨厌你？你也太断章取义了吧……

Janice

All right, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, we've got to do something about our little situation here Joey. So, this is my idea: you and me spending some quality time together.

你和我花点时间，好好相处。

Joey

But what does that gonna do...

但是那有什么关系……

Janice

For Chandler!

为了钱德！

Joey

Okay. I'm in.

好吧，我加入。

Janice

Okay. All right. This is what we're gonna call it: 'Joey and Janice's DAY OF FUN!'

好！这就叫做……“乔伊和珍妮丝的逍遥一日游”！

Joey

Does it have to be a whole day?

要一整天啊？

Janice

Yes, because that's how long it takes to love me.

因为如果你要爱上我，得花上一整天。

Joey

Yeah, I know, I sleep in the next room.

是，我知道我睡在你们的隔壁。

Monica

(crying) So, I went down to the post office, and it turns out it was those videos that I ordered for Richard about the Civil War. He loved the Civil War.

（哭）我今天去了邮局，寄来的是我订的录影带，是帮理查订的，有关内战的。他很喜欢看内战。

Phoebe

Monica, do you want us to take you home?

莫妮卡，你要不要我们带你回家？

Monica

Uh, huh. (to Ross) Or maybe to a galaxy far, far away. (Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe leave)

嗯。（对罗斯）或者带我到遥远的银河去吧。（瑞秋、莫妮卡和菲比离开）

Ross

Women tell each other everything. Did you know that?

女人什么事都说，你知道吗？

Chandler

Umm, yeah.

嗯，是啊。

Ross

No Chandler, everything! Like stuff you like, stuff she likes, technique, stamina, girth....

不，钱德，我是说全部的事！你喜欢的东西，她喜欢的东西，技巧，精力，腰围……

Chandler

Girth? Why, why, why, wh-why, why, why, why would they do this?

腰围？为什么……她们为何这样做？

Ross

Rachel says sharing's great and supposedly, you know, we outta be doing it. Do you wanna?

瑞秋说分享的感觉很棒，而……我们也应该这么做。你想要吗？

Chandler

We're not gonna talk about girth are we?

我们不会要讨论腰围吧？

Ross

Nooo!

不！

Chandler

Yeah, okay.

好，好吧。

Ross

Yeah?

好？

Chandler

Yeah! All right! You go first.

好！你先吧！

Ross

Okay, okay, I'll go first.

好，我先说。

Chandler

Okay.

好。

Ross

So, uh, the other night Rachel and I are in bed talking about fantasies, and I happened to describe a particular Star Wars thing....

有天晚上……瑞秋和我在床上讨论彼此的性幻想，我就形容了一个画面……星际大战里的……

Chandler

Princess Leia in the gold bikini.

莉亚公主和金色比基尼。

Ross

Yes!

对！

Chandler

I know!

我知道！

Ross

Yes! Wow, well, that-that was easy. Okay, you-you go.

是！哇，这倒挺容易的。好，换你了。

Chandler

Okay.

好。

Ross

Okay.

好。

Chandler

Okay, you know, you know when your in bed, with a woman.

好，当你跟一个女人在床上……

Ross

Hmph.

嗯。

Chandler

And, ah, you know, your fooling around with her. And you get all these like, mental images in your brain, you know, like Elle MacPherson, or that girl at the Xerox place....

正在亲热……脑袋里突然出现一些疯狂的念头，就像超级名模艾尔，或是影印店的那个女孩吗？

Ross

With the belly-button ring? Oh, muhawa!

穿了肚脐环的那个？哦，我知道！

Chandler

I know, And then all of the sudden your Mom pops into your head. And your like 'Mom, get outta here!' You know, but of course, like, after that you can't possibly think of anything else, and you can't, you know, stop what your doing. So it's kinda like, you're, you know. You know... (Ross just stares at him) . You don't know!

但是突然之间你忽然想到你妈，然后你就想“妈，快走开啦！”但当然这之后你就完全没情没绪了，而你正在做的事又不能停止。所以你就好像……所以……（罗斯瞪着他）你不知道！

Ross

Your Mom, your telling me, your telling me, about your Mom, what is the matter with you?

你妈妈？你是说你妈？你究竟有什么毛病？

Chandler

You said...

你说……

Ross

I said 'share' not 'scare'. Go sit over there! (Chandler goes over and sits at a table and puts his head down)

我说要分享，不是吓唬人。你给我坐到那边去！（钱德勒走过去坐下，低下头）

Janice

We're baack!

我们回来了！

Joey

Hey!

嘿！

Chandler

What are you guys doing together?

你们俩在一起干嘛？

Janice

Joey and Janice's DAY OF FUN!!! (laughs)

乔伊和珍妮丝的逍遥一日游！！！（笑）

Chandler

Really.

真的吗？

Joey

Yeah, yeah. We went to a Mets game, we got Chinese food, and you know, I love this woman. You have got competition buddy.

对，我们去看纽约大都会的比赛，还吃了中国菜。你知道的，我爱这个女人，你有竞争对手了，兄弟。

Janice

I just came by to give you a kiss, I have to go pick up the baby, so. I'll see you later sweetheart, you too Chandler. (laughs)

我只是上来亲你一下，我得去接孩子了，待会儿见，甜心。你也是，钱德。（笑）

Chandler

You still can't stand her can you?

你还是受不了她，是吗？

Joey

I'm sorry man, I tried, I really did.

对不起，我已尽最大努力了。

Chandler

Well, you know, I appreciate you giving it a shot.

还是谢谢你的努力。

Joey

But, hey, look, you know the good thing is, is that we spent the whole day together and I survived, and what's even more amazing, so did she. It was bat day at Shea Stadium.

但是有一点可喜的是……我们整天在一起而我还能存活，更了不起的是，她也做到了。今天是大都会主场的打击日。

Chandler

Well, I guess that's something.

我想这还蛮了不起的。

Joey

No man, that's huge! Now, I know I can stand to be around her, which means I get to hang out with you, which is kinda the whole point, anyway.

天啊，这可是大事呢！现在我知道我可以待在她旁边，表示我可以和你一起出去，反正这就是我的重点。

Chandler

Okay.

好吧。

Joey

Oh, hey, Chandler, we, ah, we stopped by the coffee shop and ran into Ross.

哦，嘿，钱德，我们在咖啡店停了一下，结果遇到罗斯。

Chandler

Oh God!

天啊！

Joey

Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I do it too.

希望这会让你好过点，我也会有这种想法。

Chandler

Really?

真的？

Joey

Oh yeah, I always picture your Mom when I'm having sex.

当我在做爱时，我都会想像“你”妈的样子。

Video

April Twelve, Eighteen hundred, Sixty-One (Monica lights Richard's cigar butt) , 4:30 A.M. on Tuesday, the United States garrison at Fort Sumter was fired upon (knock on door) it is now under bombardment by....

1861年4月12日，星期二清晨4点30分，美国于萨姆特堡的部队受到炮轰，现在正遭受……（敲门声）

(Monica answers the door)

（莫妮卡去开门）

Monica

Hi, Dad, what are you doing here?

爸，你怎么来了？

Mr. Geller

Well, it's your mother's bridge night so I thought that I would come into the city for a little Monicuddle. (hugs her) Since when did you start smoking cigars?

你妈今晚打桥牌，所以我进城来抱抱莫妮卡。（拥抱她）你什么时候开始抽雪茄了？

Monica

I don't, I just, I just like the smell of them. So, uh, what are you really doing here Dad?

我没有，只是喜欢闻它的味道。你来这里真正的目的是什么？

Mr. Geller

Well, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.

我只想确定一下你还好吧。

Monica

What makes you think that I might not be okay?

我为什么会不好呢？

Mr. Geller

I saw Richard.

我看到理查了。

Monica

Oh.

哦。

Mr. Geller

So, how are you doing?

你还好吗？

Monica

I'm fine, just a little tired, I'm okay. How's Richard doing?

我很好，只是有点累。理查怎么样了？

Mr. Geller

You don't wanna know.

你不会想知道的。

Monica

No, I really, really do.

不，我真的很想知道。

Mr. Geller

Well, he's doing terrible!

他的情况很糟！

Monica

Really!

真的？

Mr. Geller

Worse than when he broke up with Barbara.

比他跟芭芭拉分手时还糟。

Monica

You're not just saying that are you?

你不是故意这么说的吧？

Mr. Geller

No, the man is a mess.

那个男人简直一团糟。

Monica

Was he crying?

他有没有哭？

Mr. Geller

No.

没有。

Monica

Well, do you think he was waiting 'til after you left, so he could cry?

你觉得他是否等你走后，才一个人开始哭？

Mr. Geller

Maybe.

或许吧。

Monica

I think so.

我想也是。

Mr. Geller

Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your Mom and me. You know after we graduated college we broke up for a while. It seems her Father, your Grandfather, wanted her to travel around Europe, like he did. Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam's nickel, because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time. However, (turns around and sees that Monica is sleeping and puts a blanket around her, kisses her, picks up the cigar, and starts watching the video)

宝贝，感情这回事很难说。就像我跟你妈，大学毕业后我们曾分手一阵子。她父亲，就是你祖父，希望她跟他一样到欧洲四处旅行……当然，他是为美国政府做的，因为当时他也在猛轰德国的运兵列车。然而，（转身看见莫妮卡睡着了，给她盖上毯子，亲了她一下，拿起雪茄，继续看录影带）

Closing Credits

片尾字幕

Rachel

Okay, here we go. I'm Jabba's prisoner, and you have a really weird look on your face. What? Honey, what is it? Did I get it wrong? Did I get the hair wrong? What? Did you just picture it differently? What? What?

好吧，我是贾霸的囚犯，而你……脸上的表情好怪。怎么了，甜心？有什么问题？我的头发不对吗？还是别的问题？跟你想像的不同，还是……？

Ross

No, no it's, um, it's not you, um, it's um, it's (turns and sees his Mom standing where Rachel is)

不，不是你的问题，是……（转头看见妈妈正站在瑞秋的位置）

Mrs. Geller

Well what is it? Come on sweetie, you're like, freaking me out here.

怎么了？拜托，甜心，你快把我吓坏了。

Ross

I hate Chandler, the bastard ruined my life. (Rachel starts looking around and down, with a 'What the hell is going on?' look on her face.)

我恨钱德，那个混蛋毁了我的人生。（瑞秋开始四处张望，脸上带着“这到底是怎么回事？”的表情）

End

结束