The One With the Chicken Pox

RACHEL

Ok, Chandler, Mon, there's only one banana nut muffin left.

好了，钱德勒，莫妮卡，只剩下一个香蕉坚果松饼了。

MONICA

Oh, I ordered mine first.

哦，我先点的。

CHANDLER

Yeah, but I'm, I'm so much faster...

是啊，但我，我动作快多了……

MONICA

Give it to me.

给我。

CHANDLER

No.

不。

MONICA

Give it to me.

给我。

CHANDLER

Ok, you can have it. [He licks it and offers it to her.]

好吧，给你。（他舔了一下，然后递给她。）

MONICA

[She grabs the coffee cup on the table and licks the rim.] There you go, enjoy your coffee.

（她抓起桌上的咖啡杯，舔了一下杯沿。）好了，享用你的咖啡吧。

CHANDLER

That was there when I got here. [Takes a bite of his muffin.]

我来的时候它就已经在那儿了。（咬了一口松饼。）

PHOEBE

[enters] Hey you guys, you will never guess who's coming to New York.

（走进来）嘿，你们绝对猜不到谁要来纽约。

MONICA

[Chandler tries to come back with a smart-ass remark but can't swallow the muffin.] Quick, Phoebe, tell us before he can swallow.

（钱德勒想回句俏皮话，但松饼噎着咽不下去。）快，菲比，在他咽下去之前告诉我们。

PHOEBE

Oh ok, Ryan, that guy I went out with, who's in the Navy.

哦好的，赖安，就是那个和我约过会的、在海军的家伙。

RACHEL

You went out with a guy in the Navy?

你和海军的人约会过？

PHOEBE

Yeah, I met him when I was playing guitar in Washington Square Park. Ryan threw in salt water taffy 'cause he didn't have any change.

是啊，我在华盛顿广场公园弹吉他时认识他的。赖安扔给我咸水太妃糖，因为他没有零钱。

JOEY

Hey, is that when you wrote salt water taffy man?

嘿，你就是那时候写了《咸水太妃糖先生》吗？

PHOEBE

No. No, he is my submarine guy. He resurfaces like every couple years and we have the most amazing three days together. Only this time he's coming for two weeks. Two whole weeks, which means yay.

不。不，他是我的潜艇男。他大概每两年浮出水面一次，我们在一起度过最棒的三天。只是这次他要来两周。整整两周，这意味着——耶。

RACHEL

So wait, this guy goes down for like two years at a time?

等等，这家伙一次下潜大概两年？

MONICA

That'll teach you to lick my muffin.

这就是舔我松饼的教训。

ROSS

[enters] Hiii.

（走进来）嗨——

JOEY

Oh no, what happened?

哦不，怎么了？

ROSS

Well, I just spoke to Carol. Ben's got the chicken pox.

嗯，我刚和卡罗尔通了电话。本出水痘了。

ALL

Oh no.

哦不。

ROSS

Yeah, so if you haven't already had it, chances are you're gonna get it.

是的，所以如果你们还没出过，就很有可能会染上。

RACHEL

Well I've had it.

我出过了。

JOEY

Yeah, I've had it.

对，我出过了。

MONICA

Had it.

出过了。

CHANDLER

Had it.

出过了。

PHOEBE

Well, I've never had it, I feel so left out. [Sees a red bump on her arm.] Oh look!

嗯，我从没出过，我觉得被冷落了。（看到手臂上有个红疙瘩。）哦，你看！

MONICA

Honey, you made the bed again. I told you, you don't have to do that. This isn't camp.

亲爱的，你又铺床了。我告诉过你，你不必这么做。这不是露营。

RICHARD

Ooh, then I guess the panty raid last night was totally uncalled for. Ok, I am going to take a shower and today I will be singing Jim Croce's Leroy Brown.

哦，那看来昨晚的抢内裤行动完全没必要了。好吧，我去冲个澡，今天我要唱吉姆·克劳奇的《勒罗伊·布朗》。

RICHARD

Monica... [He re-enters the bedroom and Monica jumps on the bed, trying to cover it.] Hey Mon, I have a question. Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town or the fattest man in the whole damn town?

莫妮卡……（他重新走进卧室，莫妮卡跳上床，试图遮住床。）嘿，莫妮卡，我有个问题。勒罗伊是整个该死的小镇里最坏的男人，还是最胖的男人？

MONICA

Baddest. Otherwise the song would be Fat Fat Leroy Brown.

最坏的。否则歌就会叫《胖胖的勒罗伊·布朗》。

RICHARD

What're you doing?

你在干什么？

MONICA

Just waiting for you sweetie.

就是在等你呀，亲爱的。

RICHARD

Are you remaking the bed?

你在重新铺床吗？

MONICA

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You know what, the way you did it was just fine.

对不起，对不起。你知道吗，你铺的方式已经很好了。

RICHARD

Then, you're redoing it because...

那你重新铺是因为……

MONICA

If I tell you, you'll think I'm crazy.

如果我告诉你，你会觉得我疯了。

RICHARD

You're pretty much running that risk either way.

不管告不告诉我，你都差不多要冒这个险。

MONICA

Ok, you see, the tag shouldn't be at the top left corner, it should be at the bottom right corner.

好吧，你看，标签不应该在左上角，应该在右下角。

RICHARD

Oh, well that's not so crazy.

哦，这还不算疯。

MONICA

I'm just easing you in.

我是在让你慢慢适应。

RICHARD

Oh, alright.

哦，好吧。

MONICA

Alright, you see these little flower blossoms? They should be facing up, not down, because, well, the head of the bed is where the sun would be. You don't love me any more do you.

好了，你看见这些小花朵吗？它们应该朝上，而不是朝下，因为，嗯，床头就是太阳所在的位置。你没那么爱我了吧。

RICHARD

Actually, if it's possible, I love you more.

事实上，如果有可能的话，我更爱你了。

MONICA

Really? Wow, well then come on, I wanna show you how to fold the toilet paper into a point.

真的吗？哇，那好吧，跟我来，我想教你怎么把卫生纸折出一个尖角。

CHANDLER

Hey, look Joey, I'm just saying if you need something to hold you over, I can get you a job right here as an entry level processor.

嘿，听着乔伊，我只是说如果你需要找点事做过渡一下，我可以在这儿给你弄份工作，当个初级处理员。

JOEY

But don't you need experience for a job like that?

但那种工作不需要经验吗？

CHANDLER

It's not that hard to learn. And as for people realizing you have no idea what you're doing, hey, you're an actor. Act like a processor, people will think you're a processor.

学起来没那么难。至于别人发现你根本不知道自己在干嘛，嘿，你是个演员。演得像处理员，别人就会以为你是处理员。

SCOTT

[enters] Hey Chandler, here's this morning's projections.

（走进来）嘿钱德勒，这是今天早上的预测数据。

CHANDLER

Hey thanks. Scott Alexander, Joey Tribbiani. Joey is a uh, fellow processor.

嘿谢谢。斯科特·亚历山大，乔伊·崔比亚尼。乔伊是呃，也是处理员。

SCOTT

No kidding.

不是开玩笑吧。

JOEY

Oh yeah yeah. I process. People want the processing, I'm the one they call.

哦对对。我做处理。别人要处理，我就是他们找的人。

SCOTT

Where do you work?

你在哪儿工作？

JOEY

Uhh, well, right now I'm in between things. You know how it is. One day you're processing, the next day you're not so much... processing any more.

呃，嗯，现在我正在事情之间。你知道的，就是这样。今天你还在处理，第二天你就不太……再处理什么了。

CHANDLER

I was just telling Joey about the opening in Fleischman's group.

我刚在告诉乔伊弗莱施曼小组的空缺。

SCOTT

Fleischman's group. Whatever you do, don't touch his sandwiches. Ha-ha-ha...

弗莱施曼小组。不管怎样，千万别碰他的三明治。哈哈哈……

JOEY

Ha-ha. [Scott leaves] Are all you processors dorks?

哈哈。（斯科特离开）你们所有处理员都是呆子吗？

RACHEL

Oh, this lipstick looks just great on you.

哦，这支口红在你嘴上太好看了。

MONICA

You look fabulous honey, you really do.

你看起来美极了亲爱的，真的。

PHOEBE

Yeah? Are you sure, really. [She picks up a mirror and sees the white splotches all over her face.]

是吗？你确定，真的吗？（她拿起镜子，看到脸上全是白色的斑点。）

RACHEL

You see, you look beautiful. For god sakes, dim the lights.

你看，你看起来很漂亮。看在上帝的份上，把灯光调暗。

PHOEBE

I, I, I'm hideous.

我，我，我丑死了。

MONICA

It's gonna be ok. Ryan's been under water. He's just gonna be so glad that you don't have barnacles on your butt.

会没事的。赖安一直待在水下。他会很高兴你的屁股上没有长藤壶。

PHOEBE

Come in.

请进。

RYAN

Hey baby, I'm back... [Phoebe is sitting by the window in a veil.]

嘿宝贝，我回来了……（菲比戴着面纱坐在窗边。）

PHOEBE

Hey Ryan, what's up?

嘿赖安，怎么样？

RYAN

What's goin' on?

怎么回事？

PHOEBE

Well, no no, you have to stay back. I, I have the pox.

嗯，不不，你得退后。我，我出痘了。

RYAN

Chicken or small?

水痘还是天花？

PHOEBE

Chicken. Which is so ironic considering I'm a vegetarian.

水痘。考虑到我是个素食者，这太讽刺了。

RYAN

Why aren't you at home in bed?

你为什么不在家躺在床上？

PHOEBE

'Cause my, my grandmother's never had chicken pox. Please, please tell me you have, 'cause oh my God, I forgot how cute you are.

因为我，我奶奶从没出过水痘。求你，求你一定告诉我你出过，因为哦天啊，我都忘了你有多可爱了。

RYAN

I'm sorry, I never had 'em.

对不起，我从没出过。

PHOEBE

Ohh, ohh.

哦，哦。

RYAN

If I had one wish, it would be to build a time machine, go back to when I was 7, when Jimmy Hauser had the chicken pox. I would grab that kid and rub him all over my face.

如果我能许一个愿望，那就是造一台时间机器，回到我七岁的时候，那时吉米·豪瑟出了水痘。我会抓住那孩子，把他往我脸上蹭。

PHOEBE

Yeah, or you know, you could just wish that I didn't have them now.

是啊，或者你知道，你也可以就许愿我现在没出水痘。

RYAN

Can I please see your face?

能让我看看你的脸吗？

PHOEBE

Nope. You don't want to see a face covered with pox.

不行。你不会想看一张长满痘的脸的。

RYAN

Your face could be covered with lochs, I wouldn't care.

你的脸就算长满海湾，我也不在乎。

PHOEBE

And you hate fish. Oh. That's so sweet, alright. Ok, alright, you can see. This is me... [she unveils herself right as a huge lightning bolt crashes outside. Ryan screams in terror.] Oh, I am scary.

可你讨厌鱼。哦。你真好，好吧。好了好了，你可以看。这就是我……（她揭开面纱，恰逢外面一道巨大的闪电劈下。赖安吓得尖叫。）哦，我确实吓人。

RYAN

Sorry, the lightning. Lightning was an unfortunate incidence. You look lovely, lovely.

对不起，是闪电。闪电是个不幸的巧合。你看起来可爱，可爱。

PHOEBE

I hate this. 'Cause I tell you, I had the most amazing two weeks planned for us, and almost everything I had in mind, we had to be a lot closer than this.

我恨死这个了。因为我告诉你，我为我们计划好了最棒的两周，而我想的几乎所有事，我们都得比现在靠近得多才行。

RYAN

Phoebe, I have spent the last eight months in a steel tube with men, thinking about this moment. I am not gonna let a bunch of itchy spots stand between us. [He walks to her and kisses her.]

菲比，过去的八个月我一直待在一个铁管子里和男人们在一起，想着这一刻。我不会让一堆发痒的痘痘挡在我们中间的。（他走到她身边，吻了她。）

PHOEBE

Ok, this is the most romantic disease I've ever had.

好吧，这是我得过的最浪漫的病。

JOEY

Hey.

嘿。

CHANDLER

Hey, how's the first day goin'?

嘿，第一天过得怎么样？

JOEY

Pretty good. It's like you said. It's mostly just putting numbers from one column into another column.

挺好的。就像你说的。基本上就是把数字从一列输到另一列。

CHANDLER

Well there you go.

那不就结了。

JOEY

Hey and everybody is so nice. I just had a good talk with that lady with the red hair, Jeannie.

嘿而且每个人都很好。我刚和那个红头发的女士简妮聊得很愉快。

CHANDLER

Jeannie, the head of east coast operations Jeannie?

简妮，东海岸运营主管简妮？

JOEY

Yeah, turns out our kids go to the same school. Small world huh?

对，结果我们的孩子上同一所学校。世界真小啊？

CHANDLER

Weird world. Your kids?

世界真奇怪。你的孩子？

JOEY

I figure my character has kids.

我觉得我的角色有小孩。

CHANDLER

Ya know there isn't a part of that sentence I don't need explained.

你知道吗，你这句话没有一个部分我不需要你解释的。

JOEY

Well, see when you're acting you need to think about stuff like that. My character, Joseph the processor guy, has two little girls, Ashley and Brittany. Ashley copies everything Brittany does.

嗯，你看，演戏的时候你需要想这种事情。我的角色，处理员约瑟夫，有两个小女孩，阿什莉和布列塔尼。阿什莉什么都模仿布列塔尼。

CHANDLER

Well, invisible kids can be that way sometimes.

嗯，看不见的孩子有时候就是那样的。

JOEY

Yeah. Joseph and his wife, Karen, are thinking of having a third kid... Ya know what? Just did.

是啊。约瑟夫和他妻子凯伦在考虑要第三个孩子……你知道吗？刚生了。

CHANDLER

Really? Wow. That's some pretty powerful imaginary sperm you must have there.

真的吗？哇。你那儿的想象精子可真够强力的。

RYAN

You know what makes the itching even worse?

你知道什么让痒更难受吗？

PHOEBE

That you don't stop talking about it.

就是你一直说个不停。

RYAN

Fine.

好吧。

PHOEBE

Let's just play, ok. Good, ok. [She picks up the dice.] Here we go, double sixes, here we go... [She starts to rub the dice all over herself.] Here we go, come to mama, just getting ready to roll the dice...

我们就玩吧，好吗？好，好啦。（她拿起骰子。）开始了，两个六，开始了……（她开始把骰子往自己身上蹭。）开始了，来妈妈这儿，正在准备掷骰子……

RYAN

What're you doing? Are you scratching?

你在干什么？你在抓痒？

PHOEBE

No. This is what I do for luck, ok.

不。这是我求运气的方式，好吗。

RYAN

You're scratching. Give me the dice.

你在抓痒。把骰子给我。

PHOEBE

No.

不。

RYAN

Give me the dice.

把骰子给我。

PHOEBE

No. Here. [Throws them on the table.] There. Ooh, double sixes.

不。给你。（扔在桌上。）好了。哦，两个六。

RYAN

We can't scratch. You know we can't, we'll scar.

我们不能抓。你知道我们不能，会留疤的。

PHOEBE

Uhh, I can't stop thinking about it. It's just so hard. I just wanna grab all these houses and rub 'em all over my body. [Grabs a handful of the houses.]

呃，我忍不住一直想。太难受了。我只想抓起所有这些小房子，把它们往我身上蹭。（抓起一把小房子。）

RYAN

No.

不行。

PHOEBE

Give it.

给我。

RYAN

No.

不行。

PHOEBE

Yeah, come on. You know you want it, you know you want it too, come on. Let's just be bad, it'll feel so good. [She starts scratching him.]

来嘛，来吧。你知道你想要，你也想要的，来吧。我们就放纵一下，会感觉很好的。（她开始抓他。）

RYAN

Oh God help me.

哦上帝救救我。

PHOEBE

Now do me, do my back. Oh come on, harder.

现在抓我，抓我的背。哦快点，用力点。

RACHEL

Oh, stop that, stop that right now.

哦，停下，马上停下。

ROSS

You know, I might have expected this of you Phoebe, but Ryan, you're a military man.

你知道，菲比你这样我还能预料到，但赖安，你是个军人啊。

JOEY

You and Milton have to join us on the boat. Karen'll pack a lunch, you'll bring the kids, we'll make a day of it.

你和米尔顿一定要和我们一起上船。凯伦会准备午餐，你们带上孩子，我们玩一整天。

JEANNIE

Oh, that sounds lovely. We're gonna have to set that up. Oh, I better get back. Hope the baby feels better.

哦，听起来不错。我们得安排一下。哦，我得回去了。希望宝宝好点了。

JOEY

Oh, thanks, thanks. Bye bye Jeannie.

哦，谢谢，谢谢。再见简妮。

JEANNIE

Bye bye Joey.

再见乔伊。

JOEY

What a phony.

真虚伪。

CHANDLER

Well, I'm sure you'll teach her a lesson when she steps off the dock onto nothing. Hey Mr. Douglas.

嗯，我相信当她在码头踏空的时候，你会给她一个教训的。嘿道格拉斯先生。

JOEY

Sir.

先生。

MR. DOUGLAS

Uh, listen Bing, I received your memo. So, we're not gonna receive the systems report until next Friday?

呃，听着宾，我收到了你的备忘录。那么，我们到下周五才能收到系统报告？

CHANDLER

Well the people in my group wanna spend the holiday weekend with their families.

嗯，我组里的人想和家人一起过节日周末。

MR. DOUGLAS

I have a family, I'm gonna be here.

我有家，我会在这儿。

JOEY

Yeah Bing, what's that about?

就是啊宾，怎么回事？

CHANDLER

It's about cutting my people a little slack, ya know, for morale. Look, if you wanna see some rough numbers, I can get them to you by Wednesday.

这是为了让我的人放松一点，你知道，为了士气。听着，如果你想看些粗略数据，我周三可以给你。

MR. DOUGLAS

Rough numbers?

粗略数据？

JOEY

This company was not built on rough numbers. Am I right Mr. Douglas?

这家公司不是靠粗略数据建立的。我说得对吗道格拉斯先生？

MR. DOUGLAS

Have the final numbers on my desk by Tuesday.

周二之前把最终数据放到我桌上。

CHANDLER

Uh, if you say so sir.

呃，您说了算先生。

JOEY

Joseph's good, isn't he?

约瑟夫挺棒的吧？

CHANDLER

Well, I'm going to kill you.

嗯，我要杀了你。

JOEY

Hey, hey, I just figure Joseph's the kinda guy that likes to mix it up. Ya know, get in there, ruffle some feathers.

嘿，嘿，我只是觉得约瑟夫是那种喜欢搅和的人。你知道，掺和进去，挑衅一下。

CHANDLER

Why?

为什么？

JOEY

Look, I'm sorry but that's what Joseph does, ok. If you try to pull somethin', he'll call you on it. 'What're you tryin' to pull,' he'll say.

听着，抱歉但约瑟夫就是这么干的，好吗。如果你要耍什么花样，他会指出来。“你想耍什么花样？”他会这么说。

RICHARD

Ooh, duct tape. Was I supposed to bring something too?

哦，胶带。我也该带点什么吗？

MONICA

This is for the scratchy twins out there. I taped oven mitts to their hands.

这是给外面那俩痒痒双胞胎的。我把烤箱手套粘在他们手上了。

RICHARD

You're strict.

你真严格。

MONICA

It's for their own good.

这是为他们好。

RICHARD

You know, I like the way you have efficiently folded this tab under. See in a tape emergency you could shave valuable seconds off your time.

你知道吗，我喜欢你这样高效地把这个带头折在下面。你看，在胶带紧急情况下，你可以省下宝贵的几秒钟。

MONICA

Exactly. Oh, I love that I can be totally neurotic around you now. Tell me the truth. Don't you like it better now that everything on your desk is perpendicular?

正是。哦，我喜欢我现在可以在你面前完全神经质。跟我说实话。你桌上所有东西都垂直了，你不是更喜欢现在这样吗？

RICHARD

If it's not a right angle, it is a wrong angle.

如果不是直角，那就是错角。

MONICA

Very good.

很好。

RICHARD

Thank you.

谢谢。

MONICA

You know what. Tomorrow I'm gonna do your clocks.

你知道吗。明天我要调你的钟。

RICHARD

You're gonna do what to my clocks.

你要对我的钟做什么？

MONICA

I'm gonna set them to my time.

我要把它们调成我的时间。

RICHARD

Well, I'm confused. I thought we shared time.

嗯，我糊涂了。我以为我们共享时间。

MONICA

No no. See, in my bedroom I set my clock six minutes fast. You wanna know why?

不。你看，在我的卧室里，我把钟调快了六分钟。你想知道为什么吗？

RICHARD

Because it's in a slightly different time zone than the kitchen.

因为它和厨房有点时差？

MONICA

No forget it, I'm not gonna tell you now.

不，算了，我现在不告诉你了。

RICHARD

No come on. Come on tell me.

别啊，来吧。快告诉我。

MONICA

No. See you don't understand.

不。你看你不理解。

RICHARD

Come on.

来吧。

MONICA

No. You don't have any of these cute little obsessive things.

不。你没有这些可爱的小强迫症。

RICHARD

No that's not true. That is not true.

不，那不对。那不对。

MONICA

Oh yeah.

哦是吗。

RICHARD

Yeah.

是啊。

MONICA

Alright, well tell me one of yours.

好吧，那告诉我一件你的。

RICHARD

Ok. Ahh. One of my things is, I always separate my sweat socks from my dress socks.

好吧。啊。我的一件事是，我总是把运动袜和正装袜分开。

MONICA

What if they get mixed up?

如果混在一起了呢？

RICHARD

Boy I would just uh, I would freak out.

天哪，我会呃，我会疯掉的。

MONICA

You would not. I can't believe this. I hate this, you're too normal. I can't believe my boyfriend doesn't have a thing. My boyfriend doesn't have a thing.

你不会的。我简直不敢相信。我恨这个，你太正常了。我真不敢相信我男朋友没有什么怪癖。我男朋友没有什么怪癖。

RICHARD

See, if anyone overheard that, I didn't come off well.

你看，如果有人听到这个，我可就不好看了。

JOEY

Hey. Mr. Douglas is looking for you.

嘿。道格拉斯先生在找你。

CHANDLER

Why? Wh- wh- why is Mr. Douglas looking for me?

为什么？为——为——为什么道格拉斯先生要找我？

JOEY

'Cause he has a strong suspicion that you dropped the ball on the Lender project.

因为他强烈怀疑你把贷方项目搞砸了。

CHANDLER

Wha- wh- why, why, why does he suspect that?

什——为、为什么，他为什么怀疑？

JOEY

Because at first he thought it was Joseph. But after he asked Joseph about it, turns out it was you. Anyway, I just thought you should know.

因为一开始他以为是约瑟夫。但他问过约瑟夫之后，结果发现是你。总之，我只是觉得你应该知道。

CHANDLER

Alright, that's it. Look Joey, I'm sorry, I realize this is the role of a lifetime for ya, and if I could just fire Joseph, I would, but unfortunately that's not possible so I'm gonna have to let both of you go.

好了，够了。听着乔伊，对不起，我意识到这是你一生的角色，如果我能直接解雇约瑟夫，我会的，但不幸的是那不可能，所以我得把你们两个都解雇。

JOEY

What're you talking about, everybody loves Joseph.

你在说什么，每个人都喜欢约瑟夫。

CHANDLER

I don't, I hate Joseph, ok. I think he's a brown-nosing suck up.

我不喜欢，我恨约瑟夫，好吗。我觉得他是个拍马屁的讨厌鬼。

JOEY

Oh yeah. Well you can't fire Joseph. You know why, 'cause he's not in your department.

哦是吗。那你不能解雇约瑟夫。你知道为什么，因为他不在你的部门。

CHANDLER

Alright, ok, alright. So I can't fire Joseph but uh, I can sleep with his wife.

好吧，行，好吧。所以我不能解雇约瑟夫，但是呃，我可以和他老婆睡觉。

JOEY

Karen.

凯伦。

CHANDLER

Yeah, Karen. I'm thinking about having an affair with her. Oh, you know what? I just did.

对，凯伦。我在考虑跟她搞外遇。哦，你知道吗？我刚搞了。

JOEY

Ahh. What the hell are you doing to me man.

啊。你他妈对我做什么呢哥们。

CHANDLER

Oh well it's not me, it's my character, Chandy. Yeah the rogue processor who seduces his co-worker's wives for sport and then laughs about it the next day at the water cooler. In fact, I have her panties right there in my drawer.

哦，那不是我，是我的角色，钱迪。对，就是那个为了好玩勾引同事妻子、第二天在饮水机旁嘲笑的流氓处理员。事实上，她的内裤就在我抽屉里。

JOEY

Really?

真的？

CHANDLER

No freakshow, she's fictional.

不，怪胎，她是虚构的。

JOEY

Take it easy. If it means that much to you, I'll uh, I'll go find something else.

放轻松。如果这对你那么重要，我就呃，我去找别的事做。

CHANDLER

Thank you.

谢谢。

JOEY

It's just that, I, I'm gonna miss Joseph. I liked him. His wife, she was hot. [Chandler pushes him out the door by the face.]

只是，我，我会想念约瑟夫的。我喜欢他。他的妻子，她真辣。（钱德勒用手推着他的脸把他推出门。）

PHOEBE

Can I please take these off? I swear I won't scratch.

我能把这取下来吗？我发誓我不会抓。

RACHEL

No sorry hon, Monica's orders.

不行抱歉亲爱的，莫妮卡的命令。

RYAN

[Comes out of the bathroom, also with oven mitts on his hands.] Well that wasn't easy.

（从浴室出来，手上也戴着烤箱手套。）嗯，那可不容易。

ROSS

Ok, dinner's on.

好了，开饭了。

RACHEL

And there's a peach cobbler warming in the oven so the plate's gonna be hot but that shouldn't be a problem for you.

还有一个桃子馅饼在烤箱里热着，所以盘子会很烫，但这对你们来说应该不是问题。

ROSS

Alright you kids, bye now.

好了孩子们，再见了。

PHOEBE and RYAN

Bye. [waving]

再见。（挥手）

ROSS

Oh look, a low budget puppet show.

哦，看，低成本木偶戏。

PHOEBE

It's such a shame you can't see which finger I'm holding up.

可惜你看不见我竖的是哪根手指。

RYAN

Wine?

葡萄酒？

PHOEBE

Please. [Ryan pulls the cork with his teeth and spits it into Phoebe's mitts.]

劳驾。（赖安用牙齿拔出软木塞，吐到菲比的手套里。）

RYAN

Oh, I spilled some.

哦，我洒了一些。

PHOEBE

I got it. [Wipes it up with her mitts.]

我弄。（用手套擦掉。）

RYAN

[Puts his hands over Phoebe's ears.] I must tell you, you look beautiful tonight.

（用手捂住菲比的耳朵。）我必须告诉你，你今晚看起来很漂亮。

PHOEBE

What?

什么？

RYAN

Sorry. You look beautiful.

对不起。你看起来很漂亮。

PHOEBE

Oh.

哦。

PHOEBE

You know what, that's it, that's it. [She rips off the mitts, Ryan follows her lead.]

你知道吗，就这样，就这样。（她扯下手套，赖安也跟着做。）

RICHARD

Monica, wake up. Monica.

莫妮卡，醒醒。莫妮卡。

MONICA

What's up?

怎么了？

RICHARD

I thought of a thing.

我想到了一件事。

MONICA

Yeah?

是吗？

RICHARD

Yeah. I have to sleep, have to, on this side of the bed.

是的。我必须，必须睡在床的这一边。

MONICA

No honey. You have to sleep on this side of the bed because I have to sleep on this side of the bed.

不亲爱的。你必须睡在床的这一边，因为我必须睡在床的这一边。

RICHARD

Or so I would have you believe.

或者我才要让你这么相信。

MONICA

No. Big deal, so you have a side of the bed, everybody has a side of the bed.

不。有什么大不了的，你有床的一边，每个人都有床的一边。

RICHARD

Hey come on, you haven't heard my reason yet.

嘿拜托，你还没听我的理由呢。

MONICA

Alright, go on.

好吧，说下去。

RICHARD

Ok, I have to sleep on the west side because I grew up in California and otherwise the ocean would be on the wrong side.

好吧，我必须睡在西边，因为我在加利福尼亚长大，否则大海就在错误的一边了。

MONICA

Oh my God, you're a freak.

哦天啊，你真是个怪胎。

RICHARD

Yeah. How 'bout that.

是啊。怎么样。

RACHEL

So uh, Ryan, where are you shipping off to?

那么呃，赖安，你要出发去哪儿？

RYAN

I really can't say.

我真的不能说。

ROSS

So do you have like any nuclear weapons on board?

那你们船上有核武器吗？

RYAN

I can't say.

我不能说。

RACHEL

Well do you get to look through one of those like, those periscope thingies.

那你们会通过那种潜望镜之类的东西看吗？

RYAN

I'm sorry, but I can't say.

对不起，但我不能说。

ROSS

Wow, it, it's neat learning about submarines.

哇，了解潜艇还挺有意思的。

RYAN

I better get out of here, I'm gonna miss my flight.

我得走了，我会赶不上飞机的。

PHOEBE

Ok, I'll walk you out.

好的，我送你出去。

ROSS

Bye Ryan.

再见赖安。

RYAN

Pleasure.

幸会。

RACHEL

It was nice to meet you.

很高兴认识你。

RYAN

Take care.

保重。

RACHEL

So do you uh, think we can get you one of those uh, uniform things?

那么呃，你觉得我们能给你弄一套那种制服吗？

ROSS

You like that do ya?

你喜欢那样是吧？

RACHEL

Oh yeah.

哦是啊。

ROSS

I'll make some calls. [Runs off.]

我打几个电话。（跑走了。）

RACHEL

Ok.

好的。

RYAN

Can you believe how we spent our two weeks together?

你能相信我们这两周是怎么过的吗？

PHOEBE

I know. We didn't do any of the romantic things I had planned, like having a picnic at Central Park and ya know, coffee at Central Perk. Oh I just got that. [They kiss.]

我知道。我计划好的浪漫事情一件都没做，比如在中央公园野餐，还有你知道，在中央珀克喝咖啡。哦我刚反应过来。（他们接吻。）

RYAN

Taxi.

出租车！

PHOEBE

Bye you. [Ryan's cab drives off. As Phoebe is going back in, she sees the Central Perk sign in the window and laughs.]

再见了你。（赖安的出租车开走了。菲比回去时，看到窗上的中央珀克招牌，笑了。）

RACHEL

Oh I'm sorry, we're clo-... Hey sailor.

哦对不起，我们关——……嘿水手。

ROSS

Is this what you had in mind?

这是你想要的那种吗？

RACHEL

I'll say.

绝对是。

ROSS

I'm shipping out tomorrow.

我明天要出海了。

RACHEL

Well then uh, we better make this night count. [He starts to carry her out.] Oh wait, I forgot to turn off the cappuccino machine. [He carries her over to turn it off.] Anchors away. Oh no no, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse. [He carries her to the counter to pick up her purse.] Oh, you know what. I forgot to turn off the bathroom light.

那么呃，我们最好让今晚值了。（他开始抱着她往外走。）哦等等，我忘了关卡布奇诺机。（他抱着她过去关了。）起锚。哦不不，我的钱包，我的钱包，我的钱包，我的钱包，我的钱包，我的钱包。（他抱着她到柜台拿她的钱包。）哦，你知道吗。我忘了关浴室的灯。

ROSS

Alright you know, why don't I just meet you upstairs. [Drops her on the couch and walks out holding his lower back.]

好吧你知道，我还是上楼等你吧。（把她扔在沙发上，扶着自己的后腰走了出去。）

END

结束