The One With the Two Parties

MONICA

So, I'll get candles and my mom's lace tablecloth, and since it's Rachel's birthday, I mean, we want it to be special, I thought I'd poach a salmon.

那么，我来准备蜡烛和我妈妈的花边台布，既然是瑞秋的生日，我认为我们要搞得特别一点，我想煮一条鲑鱼。

ALL

Ohhh.

哦。

MONICA

What?

怎么？

ROSS

Question. Why do we always have to have parties where you poach things?

问题是，为什么我们开派对总要你煮东西？

MONICA

You wanna be in charge of the food committee?

那你来当食物委员会的负责人？

ROSS

Question two. Why do we always have to have parties with committees?

第二个问题，为什么我们开派对总要设委员会？

JOEY

Really. Why can't we just get some pizzas and get some beers and have fun?

就是嘛，为什么我们不能就弄些披萨和啤酒乐一乐？

ROSS

Yeah.

对。

PHOEBE

Yeah, I agree. Ya know, I think fancy parties are only fun if you're fancy on the inside and I'm just not sure we are.

对，我同意。我觉得高级派对只有内心高级的人才觉得有趣，我不确定我们是这样的人。

MONICA

Alright. If you guys don't want it to be special, fine. You can throw any kind of party you want.

好吧，如果你们不希望搞得特别，行。你们爱开什么派对就开什么派对。

MONICA

Joey they're not real. I start miles beneath the surface of these things, ok, they're fake. See [squeezes her breast] honk honk.

乔伊，它们不是真的。我在这东西表面下老远才开始呢，好吧，它们是假的。看（捏自己的乳房）嘎嘎。

CHANDLER

Wow, it's, it's like porno for clowns.

哇，这就像给小丑看的色情片。

ROSS

I talked to Rachel's sisters, neither of them can come.

我问过瑞秋的姐妹了，她们都不能来。

MONICA

Ok, um so, I still have to invite Dillon and Emma and Shannon Cooper.

好的，嗯，所以我还是得请迪龙、艾玛和香农·库珀。

JOEY

Woah, woah, woah, uh, no Shannon Cooper.

哇，哇，哇，呃，不要香农·库珀。

PHOEBE

Why not her?

为什么不能请她？

JOEY

Cause she uh, she steals stuff.

因为她呃，她偷东西。

CHANDLER

Or maybe she doesn't steal stuff and Joey just slept with her and never called her back.

或者也许她并不偷东西，只是乔伊和她上了床之后就再也没打电话给她。

MONICA

Joey that is horrible.

乔伊，这太过分了。

JOEY

Hey I liked her, alright. Maybe, maybe too much. I don't know I guess I just got scared.

嘿，我喜欢她的，好吧。也许，也许太喜欢了。我不知道，我猜我只是害怕了。

PHOEBE

I'm sorry, I didn't know.

对不起，我不知道。

JOEY

I didn't think anyone'd buy that, ok.

我以为没人会信那个，好吧。

ROSS

Hi honey, how did it go?

嗨亲爱的，怎么样？

RACHEL

Agh, it was the graduation from hell.

啊，简直是地狱般的毕业典礼。

CHANDLER

Ya know, my cousin went to hell on a football scholarship.

你知道吗，我表弟靠橄榄球奖学金去了地狱。

RACHEL

Ya know, I mean this is supposed to be a joyous occasion. My sister's graduating from college, nobody thought she would. It's a true testament to what a girl from Long Island would do for a Celica.

你知道，这本来应该是喜庆的时刻。我妹妹大学毕业了，没人觉得她能毕业。这充分说明了一个长岛女孩为了丰田赛利卡会做出什么事。

MONICA

So what happened?

那出什么事了？

RACHEL

My parents happened. All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile proudly, and not talk about the divorce. But nooo, they got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address. Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. But you know what, you know what the good news is? I get to serve coffee for the next 8 hours.

是我爸妈惹的。他们要做的只是坐在同一个运动场里，骄傲地微笑，别再谈论离婚。但是不——，他们在毕业演讲中间大吵了一架。图图大主教不得不停下来嘘他们。但你们知道吗，你们知道好消息是什么？我接下来要端8个小时的咖啡。

PHOEBE

Ok, so I guess we don't invite her parents.

好了，看来我们不必请她父母了。

MONICA

Well, how about just her mom?

那只请她妈妈呢？

CHANDLER

Why her mom?

为什么是她妈妈？

MONICA

Cause I already invited her.

因为我已经请了她了。

PHOEBE

Ooh, ooh, did you ask Stacy Roth?

哦，哦，你请了史黛西·罗斯吗？

JOEY

Oh no, can't invite her. She also steals.

哦不，不能请她。她也偷东西。

PHOEBE

Ok, here are the birthday candles. Where's the birthday cake?

好了，生日蜡烛在这儿。生日蛋糕呢？

MONICA

Ok, we're not having birthday cake, we're having birthday flan.

好了，我们没有生日蛋糕，我们有生日果馅饼。

CHANDLER

Excuse me?

什么？

MONICA

It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert.

是一种传统的墨西哥奶油甜点。

JOEY

Oh that's nice. Happy birthday Rachel, here's some goo.

哦太好了。生日快乐瑞秋，给你一些黏糊糊的东西。

MONICA

[answers the door] Dr. Greene. Oh my God it's Rachel's dad. What're you doing here?

（开门）格林医生。哦天啊，是瑞秋的爸爸。你来这儿干嘛？

MR. GREENE

What? The father can't drop by to see the daughter on her birthday?

怎么？父亲不能在女儿生日时来看看她吗？

MONICA

No no, the father can, but um, since I am the roommate I can tell you that she's not here and I'll pass along the message, ok. So bye-bye.

不，不，父亲可以，但是嗯，既然我是室友，我可以告诉你她不在这儿，我会传话的，好吧。那就再见。

MR. GREENE

Ohhh, you're having a parteee.

哦哦，你们在开派对吧。

MONICA

No, no, not a party. Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows. Um, this is Phoebe and Chandler and Joey.

不，不，不是派对。只是一些瑞秋认识的人的惊喜聚会。嗯，这是菲比、钱德勒和乔伊。

MR. GREENE

I'll never remember all of that. So uh, what's the deal? Rachel comes home, people pop out and yell stuff, is that it?

我永远记不住这些。那么呃，怎么个搞法？瑞秋回家，大家跳出来大叫，就这样？

CHANDLER

This isn't your first surprise party, is it sir?

这不是您的第一个惊喜派对吧，先生？

MRS. GREENE

Hi Monica.

嗨莫妮卡。

MONICA

Chinese menu guy. Forgot the menus.

中餐菜单的那个人。忘了菜单了。

CHANDLER

So, basically just a Chinese guy.

所以，基本上就是个中国人。

JOEY

Uh, hey, Dr. Greene, why don't you come with me, we'll put your jacket on Rachel's bed.

呃，嘿，格林医生，为什么不跟我来，我们把你的夹克放到瑞秋的床上。

MR. GREENE

Alright, that sounds like a two person job. [they walk into Rachel's bedroom]

好啊，听起来像是个需要两个人的活儿。（他们走进瑞秋的卧室）

MRS. GREENE

Well, my goodness, what was that?

天哪，怎么回事？

MONICA

Sandra, I am so sorry, I thought you were Rachel and we just weren't ready for you yet.

桑德拉，非常抱歉，我以为你是瑞秋，我们还没准备好让你进来。

MRS. GREENE

You thought I was Rachel?

你以为我是瑞秋？

CHANDLER

Yes because uh, you look so young.

是的，因为呃，你看起来太年轻了。

PHOEBE

And because you're both, you know, white women.

还因为你们俩都是，你知道，白人女性。

MRS. GREENE

Oh, I missed you kids. Well, should I put my coat in the bedroom?

哦，我真想你们这些孩子。那么，我把大衣放到卧室去吗？

CHANDLER

NO! No, I'll take that for ya.

不！不行，我帮你拿。

MRS. GREENE

Oh well thank you. Such a gentleman. Thank you. [Chandler takes the hot pink coat and grimaces at it] Ahh, it all looks so nice, so festive, all the balloons... [Chandler, remembering that Joey and Mr. Greene are in the bedroom, throws her coat in a cupboard] The funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was...

哦，好谢谢。真是个绅士。谢谢。（钱德勒接过艳粉色大衣，做了个鬼脸）啊，看起来真不错，真喜庆，这么多气球……（钱德勒想起乔伊和格林先生在卧室里，把她的外套扔进柜子里）我来这儿的路上发生了最搞笑的事情。我正……

PHOEBE

[cutting Mrs. Greene off] Ha-ha, that's great, ha-ha. I can't wait to hear the rest of it, ya know, but I really have to go to the bathroom so... Hey, come with me. Yeah, yeah, it'll be like we're gal pals, ya know, like at a restaurant. Oh, it'll be fun, c'mon. [they go in the bathroom]

（打断格林夫人）哈哈，太棒了，哈哈。我等不及要听完，你知道，但我真的要去洗手间了，所以……嘿，跟我一起去。是啊，是啊，就好像我们是闺蜜，你知道，就像在餐馆里一样。哦，会很有趣的，来吧。（她们走进洗手间）

MONICA

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.

哦天啊，哦天啊，哦天啊。

CHANDLER

Ok, think, what would Jack and Chrissy do?

好了，想想，杰克和克里西会怎么做？

JOEY

[peeks back out] Ok, now that your coat is safely in the bedr-, [sees that the coast is clear] oh, ok we can come back out in the living room.

（探头出来）好了，现在你的外套安全地放在卧室——（看到外面安全了）哦，好了，我们可以回到客厅了。

MONICA

So uh, Joey and Chandler, I, I think it's time that you take Dr. Greene over to your place.

那么呃，乔伊和钱德勒，我，我想是时候你们带格林医生去你们那边了。

CHANDLER

Uhh, yes, absolutely, um. Why again?

呃，是，当然，嗯。为什么来着？

MONICA

Because that's where the party is you goon. See this is just the staging area.

因为派对在那边，笨蛋。你看这只是集结地。

JOEY

Right this is staging.

对，这是集结地。

CHANDLER

Yeah, this more than anything else, is the staging area.

对，这比什么都更像集结地。

JOEY

[as they're walking out, Dr. Greene questioningly gestures at the Happy Birthday sign over the door] This is clearly in the wrong apartment. [they all walk across the hall]

（当他们走出去时，格林医生疑惑地指着门上的“生日快乐”横幅）这显然挂错了公寓。（他们都穿过走廊）

CHANDLER

Alright you guys are off to party number one [ushers 3 guys into Monica's apartment] and you, you are off to party number two [ushers four women into his apartment. Two guys try to follow and Chandler blocks them and shoos them off to Monica's apartment] Alright fellas, let's keep it movin', let's keep it movin'.

好了，你们去一号派对（把3个男人领进莫妮卡的公寓），而你们，你们去二号派对（把4个女人领进他的公寓。两个男人想跟着，钱德勒拦住他们，把他们赶向莫妮卡的公寓）好了伙计们，继续走，继续走。

MONICA

Chandler could you at least send some women to my party? [buzzer goes off] Alright that's Ross.

钱德勒，你能不能至少派点女人到我这边来？（门铃响了）好了，是罗斯。

CHANDLER

Ok, they're coming, shhh. [Runs into Monica's apartment and grabs one last girl to take to his apartment]

好的，他们来了，嘘。（跑进莫妮卡的公寓，抓住最后一个女孩带到他的公寓）

RACHEL

Ohh, thank you for the wonderful dinner.

哦，谢谢你的美味晚餐。

ROSS

Thanks for being born.

谢谢你生出来。

RACHEL

Ohh, thank you for my beautiful earrings, they're perfect. I love you.

哦，谢谢你送我的漂亮耳环，太完美了。我爱你。

ROSS

Oh, now you can exchange them if you want, ok.

哦，现在你可以去换，如果你想的话，好吧。

RACHEL

Now I love you even more.

现在我更爱你了。

ALL

Surprise.

惊喜！

RACHEL

Oh my gosh, wow. Monica. Oh my god. Mom. This is so great.

哦天哪，哇。莫妮卡。哦天啊。妈妈。这太棒了。

MRS. GREENE

Happy birthday sweetie.

生日快乐亲爱的。

RACHEL

Wow you, you. I had no idea.

哇你，你。我一点都不知道。

ROSS

Really?

真的吗？

RACHEL

No, I knew.

不，我知道的。

ROSS

All right.

好吧。

MONICA

Ok, everybody, there's food and drinks on the table. Go across the hall.

好了，各位，桌上有食物和饮料。去走廊对面。

ROSS

What?

什么？

RACHEL

What?

什么？

MONICA

Right now, Joey and Chandler's, go now.

现在就去，乔伊和钱德勒那边，快去。

RACHEL

Why.

为什么？

MONICA

Just go.

快去。

ALL

Surprise.

惊喜！

MR. GREENE

Happy birthday sweetpea.

生日快乐小宝贝。

RACHEL

Daddy.

爸爸。

RACHEL

Both of them are here, both of them, both of them are here?

他们两个都来了？两个人都来了？两个人都在这儿？

CHANDLER

Well, we could count again.

嗯，我们可以再数一遍。

RACHEL

I can't believe this is happening.

真不敢相信会发生这种事。

ROSS

You know what, this is ridiculous, ok. This is your birthday, this is your party. I say we just put 'em all together and if they can't deal with it, who cares.

你知道吗，这太荒谬了，好吧。这是你的生日，这是你的派对。我说我们就让他们在一起，如果他们受不了，谁在乎。

RACHEL

I do.

我在乎。

ROSS

That's who.

那就在乎的人。

CHANDLER

Look, are you gonna be ok?

听着，你会没事吧？

RACHEL

Well, I have to be, I don't really have a choice, I mean, you know, I could look at the bright side, I get two birthday parties and two birthday cakes.

嗯，我只能没事，我别无选择，我的意思是，你知道，我可以看到好的一面，我有两个生日派对和两个生日蛋糕。

CHANDLER

Well, actually just one birthday flan.

嗯，实际上只有一个生日果馅饼。

RACHEL

What?

什么？

CHANDLER

It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert... Look talk to Monica, she's on the food committee.

是一种传统的墨西哥奶油甜点……去跟莫妮卡说吧，她是食物委员会的。

CHANDLER

Joey, Joey. Hey, some girl just walked up to me and said, 'I want you Dennis,' and stuck her tongue down my throat. I love this party.

“我要你，丹尼斯，”然后把舌头伸进我喉咙里。我爱这个派对。

JOEY

Quick volleyball question.

快速排球问题。

CHANDLER

Volleyball.

排球？

JOEY

Yeah, we set up a court in your room. Uh, you didn't really like that grey lamp, did you?

对，我们在你房间搭了个球场。呃，你其实不太喜欢那盏灰色台灯，对吧？

CHANDLER

Joey, a woman just stuck her tongue down my throat, I'm not even listening to you.

乔伊，一个女人刚把舌头伸进我喉咙里，我根本没在听你说话。

GIRL'S VOICE

Dennis.

丹尼斯。

CHANDLER

Ok, that's me. [runs back]

好了，那是我。（跑回去）

RACHEL

Listen honey, can you keep dad occupied, I'm gonna go talk to mom for a while.

听着亲爱的，你能拖住爸爸吗？我要去跟妈妈谈一会儿。

ROSS

Ok, do you have any ideas for any openers?

好的，你有什么开场白的主意吗？

RACHEL

Uhh, just stay clear of 'I'm the guy that's doing your daughter' and you should be ok.

呃，只要别说“我就是那个和你女儿在一起的男人”，你就应该没事。

MONICA

Ok people, I want you to take a piece of paper, here you go, and write down your most embarrassing memory. Oh, and I do ask that when you're not using the markers, you put the caps back on them because they will dry out.

好了各位，我要你们拿一张纸，给你，写下你最尴尬的回忆。哦，我还要求你们不用记号笔的时候，把笔帽盖上，因为会干。

ROSS

Hi Dr. Greene. So, uh, how's everything in the uh, vascular surgery....game?

嗨格林医生。那么，呃，心血管外科……游戏方面一切都好？

MR. GREENE

It's not a game Ross, a woman died on my table today.

这不是游戏，罗斯，今天有个女人死在我手术台上了。

ROSS

I'm sorry. See that's the good thing about my job. All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead.

对不起。你看，这就是我工作的好处。我台上的所有恐龙都已经死了。

MONICA

Listen you guys, I don't mean to be a pain about this but, um, I've noticed that some of you are just placing them on. You wanna push the caps until you hear them click. [she demonstrates, Gunther starts to walk to the door] Gunther, where're you going?

听着各位，我不是想讨人厌，但是呃，我注意到你们有些人只是把笔帽放上去。你们应该把笔帽按下去直到听到咔嗒一声。（她做示范，冈瑟开始走向门口）冈瑟，你去哪儿？

GUNTHER

I um, was sorta thinking about maybe...

我呃，有点想也许……

MONICA

No. No you can't go. No this is fun. Come on we're just getting started. Here, here's your marker.

不，不行你不能走。不，这很好玩。来吧我们才刚开始。给你，这是你的笔。

PHOEBE

Listen if you wanna go, just go.

听着如果你想走，尽管走。

GUNTHER

No, she'll yell at me again.

不，她会再对我大喊的。

PHOEBE

Alright, I can get you out.

好吧，我可以带你出去。

GUNTHER

What?

什么？

PHOEBE

Shh. In a minute, I'm gonna create a diversion. When I do, walk quickly to the door and don't look back.

嘘。等一会儿，我会制造一个混乱。到时候，你快步走向门，别回头。

MR. GREENE

I think I need a drink.

我想我需要喝一杯。

ROSS

Oh, here, I, I'll get it for ya. Whad'ya want?

哦，这儿，我，我去帮你拿。你要什么？

MR. GREENE

Scotch.

苏格兰威士忌。

ROSS

Scotch. Alright, I'll be back in 10 seconds with your scotch on the rocks in a glass.

威士忌。好的，我十秒钟后带着你的加冰威士忌回来。

MR. GREENE

Neat.

纯的。

ROSS

Cool.

酷。

MR. GREENE

No no no, no no no, neat, as in no rocks.

不不不，不不不，纯的，就是不加冰。

ROSS

I know.

我知道。

MR. GREENE

Oh hello Ross, where have you been?

哦你好罗斯，你去哪儿了？

ROSS

Hi. Uh, I have been in the bathroom. Stay clear of the salmon mousse.

嗨。呃，我刚去了洗手间。离鲑鱼慕斯远点。

MRS. GREENE

Oh, scotch neat. Ya know, that's Rachel's father's drink.

哦，纯威士忌。你知道吗，那是瑞秋父亲的饮料。

ROSS

Oh, mine too. Isn't that neat, scotch neat. Would you excuse me? [walks out in the hallway, Mr. Greene is walking out of Chandler and Joey's apartment]

哦，我也是。这不很“纯”吗，纯威士忌。失陪一下？（走到走廊里，格林先生正从钱德勒和乔伊的公寓走出来）

Hey, hey, where you uh, sneakin' off to mister?

嘿，嘿，你呃，想溜到哪儿去啊先生？

MR. GREENE

I'm getting my cigarettes out of my jacket.

我去夹克里拿我的香烟。

ROSS

No. no.

不，不行。

MR. GREENE

Whad'ya mean no?

什么叫不行？

ROSS

No, um, see 'cause that, that is, that is the staging area. If you go in there, it'll ruin the whole illusion of the party. Yeah, I think you take your scotch back in there and I will get your cigarettes for you sir.

不是，嗯，你看因为那，那是，那是集结地。如果你进去，就会破坏整个派对的幻觉。所以，我想你还是带着你的威士忌回那边去，我去帮你拿香烟，先生。

MR. GREENE

Get my glasses too.

眼镜也拿来。

ROSS

All righty roo. [closes the door] What a great moment to say that for the first time. [goes to get the cigarettes and glasses]

好的好的。（关上门）第一次说这话的绝佳时刻。（去拿香烟和眼镜）

MONICA

Ok, the first person's most embarrassing memory is, 'Monica, your party sucks.' Very funny.

“莫妮卡，你的派对糟透了。”非常有趣。

PHOEBE

Oh no, ooh, ooh, did somebody forget to use a coaster?

哦不，哦，哦，有人忘记用杯垫了吗？

MONICA

What? [she runs over to where Phoebe is, Phoebe signals for Gunther to go] I don't see anything.

什么？（她跑到菲比那边，菲比示意冈瑟走）我什么都没看见。

PHOEBE

Great, I'm seeing water rings again.

太好了，我又看到水渍了。

MRS. GELLER

Ross, whose glasses are those?

罗斯，那是谁的眼镜？

ROSS

Mine.

我的。

MRS. GREENE

You wear bi-focals?

你戴双光眼镜？

ROSS

Um-hmm. [puts them on] I have a condition, apparently, that I require two different sets of focals.

嗯哼。（戴上）我有一种状况，显然，我需要两种不同的焦距。

MRS. GREENE

Did you know my husband has glasses just like that?

你知道我丈夫有一副一模一样的眼镜吗？

RACHEL

Well those are very popular frames.

嗯，这种镜框很流行。

ROSS

Neil Sedaka wears them.

尼尔·萨达卡也戴这种。

GUY

[to Phoebe] I hear you can get people out of here.

（对菲比）我听说你能帮人出去。

MRS. GREENE

Rachel, you didn't tell me your boyfriend smoked.

瑞秋，你没告诉我你男朋友抽烟。

RACHEL

Yeah, like a chimney.

是啊，像个烟囱。

ROSS

Ohh, big smoker. [Packs the cigarettes and flings one on Mrs. Greene in the process. Finally gets one in his mouth and it looks really out of place] Big big smoker. In fact I'm gonna go out into the hallway and fire up this bad boy. [as he walks into the hall, he comes face to face with Mr. Greene]

哦，老烟枪。（把香烟在盒子上磕紧，过程中弹出一根打到格林夫人身上。终于叼了一根在嘴里，看起来很不协调）老老烟枪。实际上我要到走廊里去点上这个坏小子。（当他走进走廊时，正好和格林先生面对面）

MR. GREENE

Are you wearing my glasses?

你戴着我的眼镜？

ROSS

Yes. [pulls them off and hands them to Mr. Greene] I was just warming up the earpieces for you.

是的。（摘下来递给格林先生）我只是在帮你把耳架暖一下。

MR. GREENE

Thank you. Is that one of my cigarettes?

谢谢。那是我的烟吗？

ROSS

[pulls the cigarette off his upper lip and hands it to Mr. Greene] Yeah, yes it is, I was just moistening the tip.

（把香烟从上唇拿下来递给格林先生）对，是的，我只是在润湿一下滤嘴。

PHOEBE

Ok, ok, she's taking the trash out so I can get you out of here but it has to be now, she'll be back any minute.

好了好了，她出去倒垃圾了，所以我带你们出去，但必须现在就走，她随时会回来。

GIRL 1: What about my friend Victor?

女孩1：我的朋友维克多怎么办？

PHOEBE

No, only the three of you, any more than that and she'll get suspicious.

不行，只能你们三个，再多她会怀疑的。

GIRL 1: Alright, let me just get my coat.

女孩1：好吧，我去拿我的外套。

PHOEBE

There isn't time. You must leave everything. They'll take care of you next door.

没时间了。你们必须留下所有东西。隔壁会照应你们的。

GIRL 1: Is it true they have beer?

女孩1：他们真的有啤酒吗？

PHOEBE

Everything you've heard is true.

你们听到的一切都是真的。

MONICA

Could you guys please try to keep it down, we're trying to start a Boggle tournament.

你们能不能小声一点，我们正准备开始玩Boggle比赛。

MONICA

You, and you, you're supposed to be at my party. And Gunther! What are you doing here?

你，还有你，你们应该在我的派对上。还有冈瑟！你在这儿干嘛？

GUNTHER

Um [gestures to dance floor]

嗯（指向舞池）

PHOEBE

[enters with the three people she got out] Ok, welcome to the fu-oh.

（带着她带出来的三个人走进来）好了，欢迎来到——哦。

MONICA

Phoebe.

菲比。

PHOEBE

Alright, I'm sorry but these people needed me. They work hard all week, it's Saturday night, they deserve to have a little fun. Go.

好吧，对不起，但这些人需要我。他们辛苦工作了一整周，现在是周六晚上，他们应该玩得开心一点。去吧。

MONICA

Ya know, my party is fun. I mean, maybe it's a little quieter, less obvious sorta fun but, you know, if people would just give it a chance...

你知道，我的派对也很有趣。我的意思是，也许比较安静，不那么明显的那种乐趣，但是你知道，只要大家愿意给它一个机会……

RACHEL

You want me to see a therapist?

你要我去看心理医生？

MRS. GREENE

Sweetheart, you obviously have a problem. You've chosen a boyfriend exactly like your father.

亲爱的，你显然有问题。你选了一个和你父亲一模一样的男朋友。

RACHEL

Ok mom, you know what, fine, I'll make an appointment ok, but you know what, right now, I gotta go, I gotta go do a thing.

好了妈妈，你知道吗，行，我会约时间的好吧，但是你知道吗，现在我得走了，我得去做点事。

MR. GREENE

Did you know your mother spent $1200 dollars on bonsai trees. I felt like Gulliver around that place.

你知道吗，你母亲花了1200美元买盆景树。我在那地方感觉就像格列佛。

RACHEL

Daddy, daddy, you know what, I really wanna hear more about this, I really do, but I just have, I just have to do a, some stuff.

爸爸，爸爸，你知道吗，我非常想多听听这个，真的想，但我只是，我只是得去做一些，一些事情。

MRS. GREENE

You work and you work and you work at a marriage but all he cares about is his stupid boat.

你在婚姻上努力啊努力啊努力，但他关心的只是他那艘破船。

MR. GREENE

You work and you work and you work on a boat...

你在船上努力啊努力啊努力……

MRS. GREENE

He always ridiculed my pottery classes...

他总是嘲笑我的陶艺课……

MR. GREENE

...and you sand it and you varnish it...

……你打磨它，给它上漆……

MRS. GREENE

...but when all is said and done, he still drinks out of the mugs.

……但当一切尘埃落定，他还是用那些杯子喝酒。

MR. GREENE

...and her yoga and her Bridges of Madison County...

……还有她的瑜伽和她的《廊桥遗梦》……

MRS. GREENE

...the scotch and the cigarettes...

……威士忌和香烟……

MR. GREENE

...and the bonsai's and the chihuahua...

……还有盆景和吉娃娃……

MRS. GREENE

...I may have only been in therapy for three weeks now dear but...

……我可能只接受了三周的治疗亲爱的，但是……

MR. GREENE

...what the hell does she want with half a boat...

……她到底要半条船干什么……

CHANDLER

[running out of his apartment after a girl] Ok, ok, you can be shirts and I'll be skins. I'll be skins. [sits down beside Rachel] Hey, how you holdin' up there, tiger? Oh, sorry, when my parents were getting divorced I got a lot of tigers. Got a lot of champs, chiefs, sports, I even got a governor.

（追着一个女孩跑出公寓）好了好了，你可以当穿衣服的，我当光膀子的。我光膀子。（在瑞秋旁边坐下）嘿，你还好吗，老虎？哦，对不起，我父母离婚的时候我收到了很多老虎。还有很多冠军、酋长、运动款，甚至还有一个州长（指安慰卡片上的图案）。

RACHEL

This is it, isn't it? I mean, this is what my life is gonna be like. My mom there, my dad there. Thanksgiving, Christmas. She gets the house, he's in some condo my sister's gonna decorate with wicker. Oh, Chandler how did you get through this?

就是这样，对吧？我的意思是，我的生活就会是这样。我妈妈在那边，我爸爸在这边。感恩节，圣诞节。她得到房子，他住在某个公寓里，我妹妹会用柳条来装饰。哦，钱德勒，你是怎么熬过来的？

CHANDLER

Well, I relied on a carefully regimented program of denial and, and wetting the bed.

嗯，我依靠一套严谨的否认流程，以及，尿床。

RACHEL

Ya know, I just, so weird. I mean I was in there just listening to them bitch about each other and all I kept thinking about was the fourth of July.

你知道吗，我只是，太奇怪了。我在里面听他们互相埋怨对方，而我一直在想的是七月四号。

CHANDLER

Because it reminded you of the way our forefathers used to bitch at each other?

因为它让你想起我们的先辈们互相埋怨的方式？

RACHEL

It's just this thing. Every year we would go out on my dad's boat and watch the fireworks. Mom always hated it because the ocean air made her hair all big. My sister Jill would be throwing up over the side and my dad would be upset because nobody was helping and then when we did help he would scream at us for doing it wrong. But then when the fireworks started, everybody just shut up, you know, and it'd get really cold, and we would all just sort of smush under this one blanket. It never occurred to anybody to bring another one. And now it's just...

是这么回事。每年我们都会坐我爸的船出去看烟花。妈妈总是讨厌这样，因为海风把她的头发吹得蓬蓬的。我妹妹吉尔会在船边呕吐，爸爸会很不高兴因为没人帮忙，而当我们去帮忙时他又会骂我们做错了。但是当烟花开始时，每个人都会安静下来，你知道，天气会变得很冷，我们都会挤在那一条毯子下面。从来没有人想到多带一条。而现在就只是……

CHANDLER

I, I know. [Hugs her. Ross walks out and Chandler puts her in his arms.]

我，我明白。（拥抱她。罗斯走出来，钱德勒把她放到罗斯怀里。）

MONICA

Ok, thanks for coming, I hope you guys had fun.

好了，谢谢光临，希望你们玩得开心。

MRS. GREENE

Alright, Monica dear, I'm gonna hit the road. Now I've left my 10 verbs on the table. And you be sure and send me that finished poem.

好了，莫妮卡亲爱的，我要上路了。我把十个动词留在桌上了。你一定要把那首完成的诗寄给我。

MONICA

Ok will do. So glad you came.

好的，会的。真高兴你能来。

MRS. GREENE

I think I saw Rachel out in the hall.

我想我看见瑞秋在走廊里。

MONICA

Ok, let me go check. Your mom wants to say goodbye.

好的，我去看看。你妈妈要跟你说再见。

RACHEL

Oh ok.

哦好的。

MRS. GREENE

Happy birthday sweetie.

生日快乐亲爱的。

RACHEL

Ok.

好的。

JOEY

Ahh, you drive safe.

啊，开车小心。

MRS. GREENE

Ross, what're you doing.

罗斯，你在干什么。

ROSS

I'm getting ready for the water skiing. [Mr. Greene opens the door which pulls Ross in] How are you doing?

我在为滑水做准备。（格林先生打开门，把罗斯拉了进去）你好吗？

CHANDLER

Well, uh, Dr. Greene, where are you going?

嗯，呃，格林医生，你要去哪儿？

MR. GREENE

To get my coat.

去拿我的外套。

GUYS

No no no.

不，不，不。

MR. GREENE

Alright, alright, I can get my own coat.

好了，好了，我可以自己拿外套。

CHANDLER

Sorry, we're on a major flan high.

对不起，我们吃果馅饼吃上头了。

PHOEBE

Oh no, you're not supposed to be here. This is the staging area, you should, it's all wrong, you should leave, ya know, get out. [opens the door, the guys are right there] Or perhaps you'd like a creme de menthe.

哦不，你不应该在这里。这是集结地，你应该，全乱了，你应该离开，你知道，出去。（打开门，大伙都在那儿）或者您想来点薄荷酒？

MR. GREENE

I have to be heading to my chateau, thank you.

我得回我的庄园了，谢谢。

PHOEBE

Oh all right, then I guess we're going back into the hallway.

哦好吧，那我想我们还是回走廊去吧。

JOEY

Thanks for coming Mrs. Greene. [grabs her and kisses her to distract her. She goes limp in his arms. Mr. Greene leaves.] Well, ok, you take care.

谢谢光临，格林夫人。（抓住她亲吻以分散她的注意力。她在他的怀里软了下来。格林先生离开了。）嗯，好了，你多保重。

MRS. GREENE

Oh, you kids [she caresses his face and chest] Well, this is the best party I've been to in years.

哦，你们这些孩子（她抚摸他的脸和胸口）嗯，这是我多年来参加过的最好的派对。

MONICA

Thank you.

谢谢。

MONICA

Ok everybody, it's time for flan.

好了各位，该吃果馅饼了。

CHANDLER

Yup, get ready for the gelatinous fun.

对，准备好享受胶状的乐趣吧。

JOEY

Kinda looks like that stuff you get when you get a bad infection.

有点像是你严重感染时流出来的东西。

MONICA

Ok, that's enough.

好了，够了。

PHOEBE

Ok Rachel, make a special flan wish.

好了瑞秋，许一个特别的果馅饼愿望吧。

RACHEL

Ok, I've got one. [blows out the candles. Somebody calls out 'heads up' and the volleyball lands in the flan]

好的，我有了。（吹灭蜡烛。有人喊“小心头上”，排球落进果馅饼里）

Wow, those things almost never come true.

哇，这些东西几乎从来不会实现。

END

结束