The One With the Breast Milk

Monica

(entering from her bedroom carrying a present) Ok, these were unbelievably expensive, and I know he's gonna grow out of them in like, 20 minutes, but I couldn't resist. (There a little pair of Nike shoes.)

（从卧室出来，拿着礼物）这些非常昂贵，我知道他很快就穿不下，但是我就是无法抗拒。（一双小耐克鞋。）

Phoebe

Oh, look at these! Hey, Ben. Just do it. (Ben starts to cry) Oh my god, oh, ok, was that too much pressure for him?

看看这些！嗨，班。做了就对！（本开始哭）天啊，是不是对他压力太大？

Susan

Oh, is he hungry already?

他已经饿了吗？

Carol

I guess so. (Carol starts to breast feed Ben.)

我想是的。（卡罗开始给本喂母乳。）

Chandler

You know, it's... (sees the feeding taking place next to him) something funny about sneakers. I'll be right back. (Goes into the kitchen)

球鞋真的很有趣……我马上就回来！（走进厨房。）

Joey

(joins him) I gotta get one, too.

（跟过去）我也要一个。

Ross

(following them into the kitchen) What are you guys doing?

（跟到厨房）你们在干什么？

Chandler

We're just hanging out by the spoons. Ladle?

我们只是来看看汤匙。要调羹吗？

Ross

Look, would you guys grow up? That is the most natural beautiful thing in the world.

你们成熟一点好吗？这是世上最自然美丽的。

Joey

Yeah, we know, but there's a baby suckin' on it.

我们知道，担心在有个婴儿在吸它。

Ross

This is my son having lunch, ok? It's gonna happen a lot, so you'd better get used to it. Now if you have any problem with it, if you're uncomfortable, just ask questions. Carol's fine with it, now come on.

这是我儿子在吃午餐，你们最好习惯。如果你们感到不自在，发问就好。卡萝不介意的。

(They go back into the living room.)

（他们回到客厅。）

Chandler

Carol, Carol? I was just wondering if Joey could ask you a question about breast-feeding?

卡萝？我想问问乔伊能不能提出关于哺乳的问题？

Carol

Sure.

当然可以。

Joey

Uh, does it hurt?

会不会痛？

Carol

It did at first, but not anymore.

刚开始会，现在不会了。

Joey

Chandler?

钱德？

Chandler

So, uh, how often can you do it?

你能多久喂一次？

Carol

As much as he needs.

只要他需要就可以。

Joey

Ok, I got one, I got one. If he blows into one, does the other one get bigger?

我想到了一个问题。如果他对一个吹气，另一个会不会变大？

Opening Credits

片头

Julie

Rachel, do you have any muffins left?

瑞秋，还有松糕吗？

Rachel

Yeah, I forget which ones.

有，我忘记是哪一种。

Julie

Oh, you're busy, that's ok, I'll get it. Anybody else want one?

你太忙了，我来拿。还有人要吗？

All

No thanks.

不用了，谢谢。

Julie

Oh, you're losin' your apron here, let me get it. There you go. (Ties it back up for her)

你的围裙松了，我帮你系好。（帮她系好。）

Rachel

(to Julie) Thank you. (under her breath to Chandler) What a bitch.

（对朱莉）谢谢。（低声对钱德勒）真是个恶婆娘！

Julie

Oh, listen you guys. I have this friend at Bloomingdales who's quitting tomorrow and he wants to abuse his discount. So, anyone want to come with me and take advantage of it?

我有朋友在布明岱尔百货上班，明天就不干了。他想要花掉他的折扣优待。谁想跟我去捡便宜？

Phoebe

I can't, I have to take my grandmother to the vet.

我不行，我要带我祖母去看兽医。

Monica

Ok, um, I'll go with you.

我跟你去。

Julie

Great.

太好了。

Ross

(enters) Hi, honey.

（进来）嗨，亲爱的。

Chandler

Hey, sweetums.

嘿，甜心。

Ross

Hello to the rest.

哈罗，各位。

All

Hi!

嗨！

Joey

Monica what're you doin'? You can't go shopping with her? What about Rachel?

莫妮卡，你不能跟她去逛百货。瑞秋怎么办？

Monica

It's gonna be a problem, isn't it?

会有问题，对不对？

Chandler

Come on, you're going to Bloomingdales with Julie? That's like cheating on Rachel in her house of worship.

你要跟朱莉去布明岱尔？就像是到瑞秋家中偷汉子。

Monica

But I'm--

可是……

Phoebe

Monica, she will kill you. She will kill you like a dog in the street.

莫妮卡，她会宰了你。她会宰了你，就像宰街上的流浪狗。

Ross

So, uh, Jules tells me you guys are going shopping tomorrow?

朱莉说你们明天要去逛街？

Monica

Yeah, uh, it's actually not that big a deal.

其实没有什么……

Ross

It's a big deal to me. This is great, Monica. I really appreciate this.

对我很重要，非常重要。我很感激你这么做。

Monica

You're welcome.

别客气。

Phoebe

Woof, woof.

汪汪。

Joey

Bijan for men? Bijan for men? Bijan for men? Hey Annabelle.

碧而泉男性香水？嘿，安娜贝。

Annabelle

Hey, Joey. So did you hear about the new guy?

嘿，乔伊。听说过新来的人吗？

Joey

Who?

谁？

Annabelle

Nobody knows his name. Me and the girls just call him the Hombre man.

没人知道他的名字，我们女生都叫他“原野奇侠”。

Joey

What's he doin' in my section?

他到我这一区干什么？

Annabelle

I guess he doesn't know.

我想他不知道。

Joey

Well, he's gonna. I'll see you a little later, ok? Hey, how ya doin'?

他必须知道。待会见。你好吗？

Todd

Mornin'.

早安。

Joey

Listen, I know you're new, but it's kinda understood that everything from Young Men's to the escalator is my territory.

听着，我知道你是新来的，但众所周知，这附近的一切从年轻人部门到电梯……都是我的地盘。

Todd

Your territory, huh?

你的地盘？

Joey

Yeah. Bijan for men?

碧而泉男性香水？

Guy

No thanks.

不，谢了。

Todd

Hombre?

原野奇侠？

Guy

Yeah. All right.

好。

Todd

You were saying?

你刚才说什么？

Monica

Phoebe, listen. You were with me, and we were shopping all day.

菲比，听着，你跟我一起逛了整天街买东西。

Phoebe

What?

什么？

Monica

We were shopping, and we had lunch.

我们买东西，吃午餐。

Phoebe

Oh, all right. What did I have?

我吃了什么？

Monica

You had a salad.

你吃了一客沙拉。

Phoebe

Oh, no wonder I don't feel full.

难怪我觉得饿。

Rachel

(entering) Hey, guys, what's up.

（进来）嗨，怎么样？

Phoebe

I went shopping with Monica all day, and I had a salad.

我整天都跟莫妮卡买东西，吃了一客沙拉。

Rachel

Good, Pheebs. What'd you buy?

很好，菲比。你们买了什么？

Phoebe

Um, we went shopping for um, for, fur.

买了皮毛。

Rachel

You went shopping for fur?

你去买皮毛？

Phoebe

Yes, and then I realized I'm against that, and uh, so then we bought some, (sees Monica pointing at her chest) uh, boobs.

然后我发现我反对买皮毛。于是我们买了一些……波霸。

Rachel

You bought boobs?

你买了波霸？

Phoebe

(Monica is yanking on her bra strap) Bras! We bought bras! We bought bras.

（莫妮卡拉着她的胸罩肩带）胸罩！我们买了胸罩！

Joey

Bijan for men? Hey, Annabelle, Uh, listen, I was wondering if maybe after work you and I could go maybe grab a cup of coffee.

碧而泉男性香水？嘿，安娜贝，下班后我们可以喝个咖啡吗？

Annabelle

Oh, actually I sorta have plans.

我已经有计昼了。

Todd

Ready, Annabelle?

准备好了吗，安娜贝？

Annabelle

You bet. Maybe some other time?

好了。以后再约吧。

Joey

Hey, it's not the first time I lost a girl to a cowboy spraying cologne. Bijan for men?

我又不是没被喷香水的牛仔抢走女孩子过。碧而泉男性香水？

Carol

Ok, and this is Funny Clown. Funny Clown is only for after his naps, not before his naps or he won't sleep.

这是滑稽小丑。只有睡过午觉才可以给他玩，否则他会睡不着。

Ross

Carol, we've been through this before, ok? We have a good time. We laugh, we play. It's like we're father and son.

卡萝，我带过他，我们玩得很高兴。我们又笑又玩，就像父亲跟儿子一样。

Susan

Honey, relax. Ross is great with him. Don't look so surprised. I'm a lovely person.

亲爱的，别紧张。罗斯很会带他。别这么惊讶，我是个很好的人。

Rachel

Oh, this is so cute.

好可爱！

Susan

Oh, I got that for him.

我为他买的。

Ross

My mommies love me. That's clever.

我的妈咪们爱我。真聪明。

Monica

Hello? Oh, Hi, Ju-- Hi, Jew! Uh huh? Uh huh? Ok. Um, sure, that'd be great. See ya then. Bye.

喂？哦，嗨，犹——嗨，犹太人！嗯？好吧，很好。待会见。再见。

Rachel

Did you just say Hi, Jew?

嗨，犹太人？

Monica

Yes. Uh, yes, I did. That was my friend, Eddie Moskowitz. Yeah, he likes it. Reaffirms his faith.

对，我是这么说。那是我的犹太朋友艾迪·莫斯考维兹。他很喜欢这称呼，能加强他的信仰。

Phoebe

Ben, dinner!

班，吃晚餐了！

Ross

Thanks Aunt Pheebs. Hey, you didn't microwave that, did you, because it's breast milk, and you're not supposed to do that.

谢谢，菲比姑妈。你没有用微波炉吧？不应该这样处理母乳。

Phoebe

Duh, I think I know how to heat breast milk. Ok.

我想我知道如何加热母乳。

Chandler

What did you just do?

你在干什么？

Phoebe

I licked my arm, what?

我舔了我的手臂，怎么样？

Ross

It's breast milk.

那是母乳。

Phoebe

So?

又怎么样？

Rachel

Phoebe, that is juice, squeezed from a person.

菲比，那是从另一个人身上挤出的汁。

Joey

What is the big deal?

有什么了不起？

Chandler

What did you just do?

你又在干什么？

Ross

Ok, would people stop drinking the breast milk?

大家能不能不要喝母乳？

Phoebe

You won't even taste it?

你连尝都不尝？

Ross

No!

不行！

Phoebe

Not even if you just pretend that it's milk?

不能假装那是牛奶吗？

Ross

Not even if Carol's breast had a picture of a missing child on it.

就算卡萝的乳房贴了牛奶寻人广告都不行。

Monica

Hey, where is everybody?

大家到哪里去了？

Rachel

They took Ben to the park. Where've you been?

带班去公园了。你去哪里了？

Monica

Just out. Had some lunch, just me, little quality time with me. Thanks for your jacket.

出去。吃了午餐，只有我一个人与自己共度美好时光。谢谢你的外套。

Rachel

Oh, no problem. You can borrow it, by the way. Here are your keys, hon. Mon, if uh you were at lunch alone, how come it cost you uh 53 dollars?

你也可以向我借。这是你的钥匙。莫，如果你一个人吃午餐，怎么会要五十三块？

Monica

You know what probably happened? Someone musta stolen my credit card.

你知道大概发生什么事吗？一定有人偷了我的信用卡。

Rachel

And sorta just put the receipt back in your pocket?

然后把收据放回你口袋？

Monica

That is an excellent excellent question. That is excellent.

这是个非常好的问题。真的非常好。

Rachel

Monica, what is with you? Who'd you have lunch with?

莫妮卡，你怎么了？你跟谁吃午餐？

Monica

Judy.

朱蒂。

Rachel

Who?

谁？

Monica

Julie.

朱莉。

Rachel

What?

什么？

Monica

Jody.

裘迪。

Rachel

You were with Julie?

你跟朱莉在一起？

Monica

Look, when it started I was just trying to be nice to her because she was my brother's girlfriend. And then, one thing led to another and, before I knew it, we were...shopping.

刚开始我只是想对她友善点，因为她是我哥哥的女友。然后事情接着发生……我还不清楚，我们就……去瞎拼了。

Rachel

Oh. Oh my god.

我的天。

Monica

Honey, wait. We only did it once. It didn't mean anything to me.

亲爱的，等等。我们只做了一次。对我没有任何意义！

Rachel

Yeah, right.

是吗！

Monica

Really, Rachel, I was thinking of you the whole time. Look, I'm sorry, all right. I never meant for you to find out.

真的，瑞秋，我一直想的是你。对不起，好吗？我不希望你知道的。

Rachel

Oh, please, you wanted to get caught.

拜托！你希望被逮到。

Monica

That is not true!

才不是！

Rachel

Oh, so you just sort of happened to leave it in here?

所以你不小心留收据在这里？

Monica

Did it ever occur to you that I might just be that stupid?

我会这么笨？

Rachel

Ok, Monica. I just have to know one thing. Did you go with her to Bloomingdales? Oh! Ok, ok, ok, I just really, uh, I just really need to not be with you right now.

好，我必须知道一件事。你是不是跟她去布明岱尔？我……我现在不能跟你在一起了。

Monica

Hi, who's this? Hi, Joanne. Is Rachel working? It's Monica. Yes, I know I did a horrible thing. Joanna, it's not as simple as all that, ok? No, I don't care what Steve thinks. Hi, Steve.

嗨，哪一位？嗨，琼安，瑞秋在吗？我是莫妮卡。我知道我做了很糟糕的事。琼安，事情没这么简单。我才不在乎史提夫怎么想。嗨，史提夫。

Carol

How did we do?

情况如何？

Phoebe

Oh, I tasted Ben's milk, and Ross freaked out.

我尝了班的奶水，罗斯发癫了。

Ross

I did not freak out.

我没有发癫。

Carol

Why'd you freak out?

你为什么发癫？

Ross

Because it's breast milk. It's gross.

因为那是母乳，很呕心。

Carol

My breast milk is gross?

我的奶水很呕心？

Susan

This should be fun.

这会很好玩。

Ross

No, no, Carol. There's nothing wrong with it. I just don't think breast milk is for adults.

不，卡萝。这没什么不对。我只是不认为母乳是给大人喝的。

Chandler

Of course the packaging does appeal to grown-ups and kids alike.

当然母乳的容器很吸引大人与小孩。

Carol

Ross, you're being silly. I've tried it, it's no big deal. Just taste it.

罗斯，别傻了。我试过，没什么。口尝一尝。

Ross

That would be no.

不行。

Phoebe

Come on. It doesn't taste bad.

很自然，又不难吃。

Joey

Yeah, it's kinda sweet, sorta like, uh--

有一点甜，很像……

Susan

Cantaloupe juice.

哈密瓜汁。

Joey

Exactly.

没错。

Ross

You've tasted it? You've tasted it.

你尝过了？喔，你尝过了。

Susan

Uh huh.

嗯哼。

Ross

Oh, you've tasted it.

你尝过了。

Susan

You can keep saying it, but it won't stop being true.

你可以一直说下去，也不会变成假话。

Ross

Gimme the bottle. Gimme the towel.

把奶瓶给我。把毛巾给我。

Chandler

Howdy.

喂。

Joey

Gimme a box a juice. Well, they switched me over to Hombre.

给我一罐果汁。他们把我调到原野奇侠了。

Chandler

Well, maybe it's because of the way you're dressed.

也许是因为你的穿着。

Joey

Or maybe it's because this guy's doing so good they wanna put more people on it. You should see this guy, Chandler, he goes through two bottles a day.

或因为那家伙表现太好了，他们要增加人手。那家伙一天用掉两瓶。

Chandler

What do you care? You're an actor. This is your day job. This isn't supposed to mean anything to you.

你在乎什么？你是个演员，这只是你的副业，没什么。

Joey

I know, but, I was the best, you know? I liked being the best. I don't know. Maybe I should just get outta the game. They need guys up in housewares to serve cheese.

我知道，但我本来是最棒的。我喜欢当最棒的。也许我应该退出江湖。厨具部门需要有人切乳酪。

Chandler

All right, say you do that. You know sooner or later somebody's gonna come along that slices a better cheddar. And then where're you gonna run?

假如你这么做了，将来迟早有人会出现，乳酪切得比你更好。那时候你要逃到哪里？

Joey

Yeah I guess you're right.

也许你说得对。

Chandler

You're damn right I'm right. I say you show this guy what you're made of. I say you stand your ground. I say you show him that you are the baddest hombre west of the lingerie.

我说你应该发挥大丈夫气概，让他知道你是内衣部西边最厉害的原野奇侠！

Joey

I'm gonna do it.

我要这么做。

Chandler

All right. Now go see Miss Kitty and she'll fix you up with a nice hooker.

现在去找猫咪小姐，她会介绍个好妓女给你。

Monica

I don't know what else to say.

我不知道该说什么。

Rachel

Well that works out good, because I'm not listening.

很好，因为我不会听。

Monica

I feel terrible, I really do.

我觉得很糟糕，真的。

Rachel

Oh, I'm sorry, did my back hurt your knife?

对不起，我的背伤害了你的刀吗？

Monica

Rachel, say that I'm friends with her, we spend some time together. Is that so terrible?

瑞秋，我跟她交朋友，一起去逛街。这有什么不好？

Rachel

Yes.

是的。

Monica

It's that terrible?

真的很不好吗？

Rachel

Yes. Monica, you don't get it. It's bad enough that she's stolen the guy who might actually be the person that I am supposed to be with, but now, she's actually, but now she's actually stealing you!

是的，你还不懂吗？她偷走我的男人，我可能会跟他长相厮守，已经够糟了。但现在……现在她竟然……现在她竟然连你也抢走了！

Monica

Me? What are you talking about? Nobody could steal me from you. I mean, just because I'm friends with her doesn't make me any less friends with you. I mean, you're my...We're, we're...Oh, I love you.

我？你在说什么？没人能把我从你那里抢走。我与她交朋友不会影响我与你的感情。你是我的……我们……我爱你。

Rachel

I love you too.

我也爱你。

Phoebe

You guys, um I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me, but um I love you guys too. Oh, I really needed that.

我知道这与我完全无关，但我也爱你们！我很需要这样。

Monica

Look, I know that you're in a place right now where you really need to hate Julie's guts, but she didn't do anything wrong. I mean, she was just a girl who met a guy, and now they go out. I really think that if you gave her a chance, you'd like her. Would you just give that a chance, for me?

我知道现在你很想去恨死朱莉，但是她没有做错什么。她只是认识了一个男生，现在他们在交往。我想如果你给她一个机会，你会喜欢她的。你愿意给她一个机会吗？为了我？

Rachel

I'd do anything for you, you know that.

我愿意为你做任何事，你知道的。

Monica

I'd do anything for you.

我什么都愿意为你做。

Phoebe

Wait, wait, wait, wait!

等一下！

Joey

Mornin'. I said, mornin'.

早安。我说，早安。

Todd

I heard ya.

我听见了。

Store Guy

All right, everybody, I'm openin' the doors. You boys ready?

好了，我要开门了。你们准备好了吗？

Todd

Ready.

好了。

Joey

Yeah, I'm ready.

我也好了。

Customer

You idiot, you stupid cowboy, you blinded me, I'm suing!

你弄瞎我了！我要告你们！

Store Guy

Oh my god, Todd! What the hell did you do?

天啊！陶德！你在搞什么鬼？

Todd

I'm sorry. I am such a doofus. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

对不起，我真是笨手笨脚！对不起，非常对不起！

Annabelle

My god, what happened?

老天，发生什么事？

Joey

These new kids, they never last. Sooner or later, they all...stop lastin'. Listen, uh, what do you say I buy you that cup of coffee now?

这些菜鸟，都撑不了很久……捅出纰漏。我们去喝杯咖啡怎么样？

Annabelle

Sure.

好。

Julie

So.

所以。

Rachel

So. I just thought the two of us should hang out for a bit. I mean, you know, we've never really talked. I guess you'd know that, being one of the two of us, though, right?

我想我们应该亲近亲近。你知道的，我们从来没有真正谈过话。我想你说得对，因为你是我们两个之一。

Julie

I know, I probably shouldn't even tell you this, but I'm pretty much totally intimidated by you.

我知道，我也许不该告诉你……我真的希望你喜欢我。

Rachel

Really? Me?

真的？我吗？

Julie

Yes. Oh my god, are you kidding? Ross is so crazy about you, and I really wanted you to like me, and, it's probably me being totally paranoid, but I kinda got the feeling that maybe you don't.

也许我只是胡思乱想。但我好像觉得你不喜欢我。

Rachel

Well, you're not totally paranoid.

你不是完全胡思乱想。

Julie

Oy.

唉。

Rachel

Um, ok, uh, oh god, um, when you and uh Ross first started going out, it was really hard for me, um, for many reasons, which I'm not gonna bore you with now, but um, I just, I see how happy he is, you know, and how good you guys are together, and um, Monica's always saying how nice you are, and god I hate it when she's right.

当你与罗斯刚开始交往时，我真的很难过。有太多理由，我不要烦你。但我看到他非常快乐，而且你们在一起是多么相配。莫妮卡一直说你有多好……我真讨厌她说得对。

Julie

Thanks. Hey, listen, would you like to go to a movie sometime or something?

谢谢。你想不想一起去看电影或出去玩？

Rachel

Yeah, that'd be great. I'd love it.

很好，我很乐意。

Julie

I'd love it too. Shoot, I gotta go. So, I'll talk to you later.

我也是。我必须要走了。再见。

Rachel

All right, Julie. What a manipulative bitch!

真是个玩弄人的贱人！

End

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