The One With the Birth

Ross

She's not here yet. She's not here. She's having my baby and she's not here.

她还没来，她还没来。她将生下我的小孩却还没来。

Monica

I'm sure everything's fine. Has her water broke yet?

不会有事的。她的羊水破了吗？

Ross

I don't know, but when I spoke to her, she said she had already passed the mucus plug.

我不知道。她和我通话时说她已分泌粘液。

(Joey makes a sound of absolute disgust.)

（乔伊发出极其厌恶的声音。）

Joey

Do we have to know about that?

我们需要知道这一些吗？

Monica

Joey, what are you gonna do when you have a baby?

乔伊，你有小孩时你会怎么做？

Joey

I'm gonna be in the waitin' room, handing out cigars.

我会在等待室中送雪茄。

Chandler

Yes, Joey's made arrangements to have his baby in a movie from the 50's.

是的，乔伊准备让他孩子出生在50年代的电影中。

Ross

God, I don't believe this. She could be giving birth in the cab.

天啊，我真不敢相信。她可能会在计程车中生产。

Rachel

Oh, Ross, relax. It's probably like two dollars for the first contraction, and then fifty cents for each additional contraction.

罗斯，冷静点。第一次收缩收费二块钱，之后每收缩一次收五毛钱。

(Everyone looks at Rachel as though she made a tasteless comment.)

（大家都看着瑞秋，好像她说了不合时宜的话。）

Rachel

What, it's ok when Chandler does it?

什么？钱德这样说时就没事。

Chandler

You have to pick your moments.

你得选对时间。

(Phoebe arrives, guitar in hand.)

（菲比到了，手里拿着吉他。）

Phoebe

Did I miss it, did I miss it?

我错过了吗？我错过了吗？

Ross

She's not even here yet.

她根本还没出现。

Monica

What's with the guitar?

干嘛带吉他来？

Phoebe

I just thought we might be here for awhile. You know, things might get musical.

我想我们会在这儿待一阵子，来点音乐。

(Carol and Susan arrive.)

（卡罗和苏珊到了。）

Ross

(to Carol) Where the hell have you been?

（对卡罗）你到底上哪儿去了？

Susan

We stopped at the gift shop.

我们中途在礼品店待了一会儿。

Carol

I was looking at stuffed animals, and Susan wanted a Chunky.

我想买填充玩具，苏珊想买“矮胖”。

Ross

Susan wanted a Chunky. We're having a baby, ok, a baby, you don't stop for Chunkys.

苏珊要矮胖？她就快生小宝宝了，是小宝宝不能中途下车买矮胖。

Chandler

I used to have that bumper sticker.

我过去也用那个汽车贴纸。

(Everyone is amused by Chandler's comment.)

（大家都被钱德勒的话逗乐了。）

Chandler

(to Rachel) You see what I mean.

（对瑞秋）懂我意思吗？

Opening Credits

片头

Ross

Stopped for a Chunky.

下车买矮胖。

Carol

Let it go, Ross.

别介意了，罗斯。

Susan

I got an extra one. You want this? (holds the candy in front of Ross' face)

我多了一个，想要吗？（把糖举到罗斯面前）

Ross

(weakly) No.

（无力地）不想。

(Carol's doctor, Dr. Franzblau, arrives.)

（卡罗的医生，弗兰兹布劳大夫来了。）

Dr. Franzblau

Hey, how's my favorite parenting team doing?

我最喜爱的父母团队好。

Ross

Dr. Franzblau, hi.

法大夫。

Dr. Franzblau

So, I understand you're thinking of having a baby? Well, I see you're nine months pregnant. That's a good start. How you doing with your contractions?

我了解你们在考虑生宝宝的事，我知道你已怀胎九月。这是好的开始。收缩的情况如何？

Carol

Oh, I love them. Each one's like a little party in my uterus.

我喜欢每一阵都像是子宫中的小舞会。

Susan

They're every four minutes and last 55 seconds.

每四分钟一次，每次55秒。

Ross

59 seconds. (holds up his watch) Quartz, ha.

59秒。（举起手表）石英表。

Susan

Swiss quartz, ha, ha.

瑞士石英表，哈哈。

Carol

Am I allowed to drink anything?

我能喝饮料吗？

Dr. Franzblau

Ice chips, just ice chips. They're at the nurses' station.

碎冰，只能喝碎冰。护士站有。

Ross

I'll get it.

我去拿。

Susan

No, I'm getting it. I'll be right back.

不，我去。马上回来。

Ross

I got it---I'm getting it!

不，我去……

(They both leave just as Rachel enters the room, holding a cup.)

（他们刚离开，瑞秋端着杯子进来。）

Rachel

Hi, I thought you might like some ice chips.

我想你或许想喝碎冰。

Carol

Thanks.

谢谢。

Rachel

And if you need anything else, I---(notices the handsome Dr. Franzblau)---do not believe we've met. Hi. I'm, uh, Rachel Green. I'm Carol's... ex-husband's... sister's roommate.

如果还需要别的……我……（注意到帅气的弗兰兹布劳大夫）……没见过吧？我叫瑞秋·格林。我是卡萝……前任丈夫……妹妹的室友。

Dr. Franzblau

It is nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Franzblau. I'm your roommate's... brother's... ex-wife's obstetrician.

幸会，我是法大夫。我是你室友……哥哥……前妻的妇产科医生。

Rachel

Oh, that's funny!

真有趣！

Monica

I want a baby.

我要个宝宝。

Chandler

Mmmm. Not tonight, honey. I got an early day tomorrow.

今晚不行，亲爱的。我明天得早起。

Monica

Get up. Come on. Let's get some coffee.

起来，我们去买咖啡。

Chandler

Oh, ok, 'cause we never do that.

好吧，因为我们没做过。

(Chandler and Monica leave. Cut to Joey, watching the Knicks/Celtics game on television.)

（钱德勒和莫妮卡离开。切到乔伊在电视上看尼克队/塞尔提克队比赛。）

Joey

(to the screen) Shoot! Shoot! Shoot! Shoot, or just fall down. That's good too.

（对屏幕）投……或是摔倒也行。

(A young pregnant woman enters.)

（一位年轻的孕妇进来。）

Lydia

Knick fan?

尼克迷？

Joey

Oh, yeah.

对。

Lydia

Oh, boy, do they suck.

他们烂透了。

Joey

Hey, listen, lady....(sees that she's pregnant)...whoa.

嘿，听着，女士……（看到她怀孕）哇。

Lydia

Look, look at your man, Ewing. Nice shot. You know what, he couldn't hit water if he was standing on a boat.

看，你们的尤恩，漂亮。你知道吗，他连坐在船上都投不进水里。

Joey

Oh yeah? And who do you like?

是吗？你支持谁？

Lydia

The Celtics.

塞尔提克队。

Joey

The Celtics? Ha. They couldn't hit a boat if... wait. They suck, alright?

塞尔提克队？哈。他们无法投进船……反正他们很烂。

Lydia

Oh, shut up. You know, it's a rebuilding year. You... waah!

闭嘴，今年是重建年，你……哇！

Joey

Wha? Wha..aa? Let me get the father. Hey, we need a father over here! We need a father!

什么？让我去找孩子的爸。我们这儿需要爸爸……

Lydia

There is no father.

他没有爸爸。

Joey

Oh, oh, oh, sorry.

哦，抱歉。

Lydia

Ok, that's ok. I'm fine. I'm... oh!

没关系，我没事。我……哦！

Joey

Oh, uh, ok. Right this way. All the other pregnant women seem to be goin' in here.

这边请，所有的孕妇似乎都往这儿走。

Lydia

Ok.

好吧。

(Joey accompanies Lydia to a hospital room.)

（乔伊陪莉迪亚去病房。）

And you cry and you cry and you cry...

（唱）

(Ross gives Phoebe a dollar.)

（罗斯给菲比一块钱。）

Phoebe

Thanks, Ross.

谢谢，罗斯。

Ross

Yeah. I'm paying you to stop.

好吧，用来叫你停止。

Phoebe

Ok.

好吧。

(A woman passes by, carrying newborn twins.)

（一个女人抱着刚出生的双胞胎走过。）

Phoebe

Oh, look, twins. Hi, guys. Oh, cute, cute.

看，是双胞胎，好可爱。

Monica

No fair. I don't even have one. How come they get two?

不公平，我一个都没有。他们怎会有两个？

Chandler

You'll get one.

你也会有的。

Monica

Oh yeah? When?

是吗？什么时候？

Chandler

All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?

好吧，告诉你。我们40岁时如果都还单身，我们就一起生一个，如何？

Monica

Why won't I be married when I'm 40?

为何我40岁时还单身？

Chandler

Oh, no, no. I just meant hypothetically.

不，这只是假设。

Monica

Ok, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40?

假设为何我到40岁时还单身？

Chandler

No, no, no.

不，不，不。

Monica

What is it? Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me?

我有不适婚姻的毛病吗？

Chandler

(trapped) Uh, uh.

（被困）呃，呃。

Monica

Well?

说呀。

Chandler

Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack! (throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in)

天啊！这降落伞是个背包！（翻到椅子背后）

(Rachel enters, in a formal dress.)

（瑞秋穿着正式礼服进来。）

Rachel

Hey.

嘿。

Phoebe

Hey. Ooh, look at you, dressy-dress.

嘿。看你，盛装登场。

Monica

Did you go home and change?

你回家换衣服？

Rachel

Yeah, well, it's an important day. I wanna look nice. Um, has uh Dr. Franzblau been by?

今天是个重要的日子，我想漂亮一点。法大夫来过吗？

Monica

No, I haven't seen him.

不，我们还没见到他。

Rachel

Well, where is he? He is supposed to be here. (Pause) What if the baby needs him?

他在哪儿？他应该在这儿的。万一小孩需要他怎么办？

Chandler

Rachel, what is the deal with you and doctors, anyway? Was, like, your father a doctor?

瑞秋，你和医生到底是怎么了？难道你爸也是个医生？

Rachel

Yeah, why?

对，干嘛问？

Chandler

No reason. (turns around, makes an 'Oh my God' gesture with his eyes)

没理由。（转身，用眼睛做了个“天啊”的表情）

Lydia

Mom, we've been through this. No, I'm not calling him. I don't care if it is his kid, the guy's a jerk. No, I'm not alone. Joey's here. (pause) What do you mean, Joey who? (covers the phone, to Joey) Joey who?

妈，我们谈过了。不，我不打给他。我不在乎这是不是他的孩子，他是个大浑蛋。不，我不是一个人。乔伊在这儿。你问哪个乔伊？（捂话筒，对乔伊）哪个乔伊？

Joey

Tribbiani.

崔比安尼。

Lydia

Joey Tribbiani. Yes, ok. Hold on. (to Joey) She wants to talk to you. Take the phone.

乔伊·崔比安尼。好，等等。（对乔伊）她跟你说话。接电话。

Joey

(takes phone) Hi, yeah, it's me. (Listens) Oh, no no no, we're just friends. (Listens) Yeah, I'm single. (Listens) 25. (Listens) An actor. (Listens) Hello?

（接电话）是我。不不不，我们只是朋友。对，我单身。25岁。演员。喂？

Lydia

She's not much of a phone person.

她不擅于讲电话。

Joey

Yeah, so, uh, so, uh, what's the deal with this father guy, I mean, if someone was havin' my baby somewhere, I'd wanna know about it, you know?

孩子的爸怎么了？如果有人即将生下我的孩子，我会想知道的。

Lydia

Hey, Knick fan, am I interested in your views on fatherhood? Uh, no.

尼克迷，你对爸爸的观点我不在乎。不。

Joey

Ok, look, maybe I should just go.

好吧，或许我该走了。

Lydia

Maybe you should.

或许吧。

Joey

Good luck, and uh, take care, huh?

祝你好运，保重了。

(He leaves, but then returns a moment later.)

（他离开，但片刻后又回来。）

Joey

You know what the Celtics problem is? They let the players run the team.

你知道塞尔提克有什么问题？他们让球员经营球队。

Lydia

Oh, that is so not true.

这不是真的。

Joey

Oh, it is.

是真的。

Lydia

It isn't.

不是。

Joey

It is.

是的。

Lydia

Isn't!

不是！

Ross

Breathe.

呼吸。

Susan

Breathe.

呼吸。

Ross

Breathe.

呼吸。

Susan

Breathe.

呼吸。

Ross

Breathe.

呼吸。

Susan

Breathe.

呼吸。

Carol

You're gonna kill me!

你们会窖死我的！

Ross

15 more seconds, 14, 13, 12...

剩15秒，14，13，12……

Carol

Count faster.

数快点。

Susan

It's gonna be ok, just remember, we're doing this for Jordie. Just keep focusing on Jordie.

你会没事，记得这样做全是为了裘帝。将全力集中在裘帝。

Ross

Who the hell is Jordie?

裘帝到底是谁？

Susan

Your son.

你儿子。

Ross

No-no-no. I don't have a son named Jordie. We all agreed, my son's name is Jamie.

不，我不要我儿子叫裘帝。我们协议过，我儿子叫洁米。

Carol

Well, Jamie was the name of Susan's first girlfriend, so we went back to Jordie.

洁米是苏珊第一任女友的名字，所以我们决定还是用裘帝。

Ross

What? Whoa, whoa whoa whoa, what do you mean, back to Jordie? We never landed on Jordie. We just passed by it during the whole Jessy, Cody, Dylan fiasco.

什么？等等，你们怎会又用裘帝？我们根本没讨论过裘帝，我们讨论过洁希、寇帝、迪伦时提到一下。

Carol

Ow, ow, ow, ow, leg cramp, leg cramp, leg cramp.

我脚抽筋。

Ross

I got it.

我来。

Susan

I got it.

我来。

Ross

I got it! Hey, you get to sleep with her, I get the cramps.

我来！你和她睡觉，我来处理抽筋。

Susan

No, you don't.

你不行。

Carol

All right, that's it. I want both of you out.

够了，你们都给我出去。

Ross

Why?

为什么？

Susan

He started it!

是他引起的！

Ross

No, you started it.

不，是你引起的。

Susan

You did!

是你！

Carol

I don't care. I am trying to get a person out of my body here, and you're not making it any easier.

我不管，我想生下小孩，你们在这儿根本是愈帮愈忙。

Ross

But...

可是……

Carol

Now go!

请走！

Ross

(to Susan) Thanks a lot.

（对苏珊）谢了。

Susan

(to Ross) See what you did.

（对罗斯）看你做的好事。

Ross

(to Carol) Yeah, listen...

（对卡罗）听着……

Carol

Out!

出去！

(Ross and Susan both angrily leave the hopsital room.)

（罗斯和苏珊都生气地离开病房。）

Nurse

Breathe, breathe, breathe...

呼吸，呼吸……

Lydia

Oh, no.

哦，不。

(Joey looks down at Lydia.)

（乔伊低头看莉迪亚。）

Joey

Ew! What is that? Something exploded!

呃！那是什么？有东西爆炸了！

Nurse

It's just her water breaking. Calm down, will you?

她破水了。冷静点，行吗？

Joey

(panicked) Water breaking, what do you mean? What's that, water breaking?

（惊慌）她破水了？什么意思？什么是破水？

Nurse

(to Joey) Breathe, breathe, breathe.

（对乔伊）呼吸，呼吸。

Ross

Please. This is so your fault.

拜托，都是你的错。

Susan

How, how is this my fault?

怎么说？为什么都是我的错？

Ross

Look, Carol never threw me out of a room before you came along.

你们在一起之前卡萝从未把我赶出房间。

Susan

Yeah? Well, there's a lot of things Carol never did before I came along.

是吗？我出现之前有许多事卡萝没做过。

Ross

You tryin' to be clever? A funny lady?

你想说你有理？

Susan

You know what your problem is? You're threatened by me.

知道你的问题出在哪儿吗？你因我而感到岌岌可危。

Ross

Oh, I'm threatened by you?

我因你而感到岌岌可危？

Susan

Yes.

是的。

(Phoebe has heard them arguing and comes down the hall, taking them into a broom closet.)

（菲比听到他们争吵，从走廊过来，把他们带进一个扫帚间。）

Phoebe

Hey, hey, ok, all right, that's it! Get in here. Come on. My god, you guys, I don't believe you. There are children coming into the world in this very building and your negative fighting noises are not the first thing they should be hearing. So just stop all the yelling, just stop it!

够了，进去，快。天啊，我简直不敢相信你们两个。小宝宝即将诞生在这栋建筑，他听见的第一个声音不该是你们的吵闹声，所以你们别再吵了。

Ross

Yeah, Susan.

对，苏珊。

Phoebe

Don't make me do this again, I don't like my voice like this.

别让我再发一次脾气，我不喜欢我自己这样。

(Phoebe goes to leave the room, but the door is locked.)

（菲比要离开房间，但门锁上了。）

Phoebe

Ok, who wants to hear something ironic?

谁想听反讽的事？

Commercial Break

广告时间

All

Help!

救命啊……

Ross

I'm having a baby in here! Ok, everyone stand back. (Walks backwards as if he is going to break down the door, but steps in a bucket and falls) Ow.

我的宝宝就要诞生！你们都退后。（倒退像要撞开门，但踩进桶里摔倒）噢。

Carol

Are they here yet?

他们来了吗？

Rachel

No, honey, they're not, but don't worry, because we are going to find them, and until we do, we are all here for you, ok?

没有，亲爱的，但别担心，找到人之前我们都会在这儿陪你的。

Carol

Ok.

好吧。

Rachel

Ok?

好吗？

Carol

Ok.

好吧。

Rachel

(to Dr. Franzblau) Ok, so anyway, you were telling me about Paris, it sounds fascinating.

（对弗兰兹布劳大夫）你告诉我巴黎的事真棒。

Dr. Franzblau

It really was. There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel. (Carol sits up in pain, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau casually lay her back down) There you go, dear.

真的，那家糕饼店就在我住的饭店隔壁。（卡罗痛得坐起来，瑞秋和大夫随意把她放倒）加油，莉迪亚，你办得到。

Joey

Come on, Lydia, you can do it. Push! Push 'em out, push 'em out, harder, harder. Push 'em out, push 'em out, way out! Let's get that ball and really move, hey, hey, ho, ho. Let's--- (notices the nurse looking at him strangely) I was just---yeah, right. Push! Push!

加油，莉迪亚，你办得到。用力……我只是……对，用力！

Susan

What're you gonna do, suck the door open?

你想干嘛？将门吸开？

Ross

Help! Help!

救命！救命！

Phoebe

(singing) They found their bodies the very next day, they found their bodies the very next...(sees Ross and Susan staring at her) la la la la la la.

（唱）最后他们终于发现他们的尸体，啦啦啦。

Susan and Ross

(even louder) Help!

（更大声）救命！

Monica

Now, Mom, everything's going fine, really. (Listens) Yeah, Ross is great. He's uh, he's in a whole other place. (Listens) No, he's gone. (Listens) No no, you don't have to fly back, really. (Listens) What do you mean this might be your only chance? (Listens) Would you stop? I'm only 26, I'm not even thinking about babies yet.

妈，一切顺利。对，罗斯很好。他在其他地方。不，他不见了。不，你们不用飞回来。我唯一的机会？什么意思？别再说了，行吗？我才26岁，我连小孩的事都没想过。

(Monica sees a woman pass by with a baby, puts the phone to her chest, and starts to cry. Chandler takes the phone, makes a noise in it resembling static, and hangs up. Joey enters.)

（莫妮卡看见一个女人抱着婴儿走过，把电话贴在胸口，哭起来。钱德勒接过电话，在里面发出类似静电的声音，然后挂断。乔伊进来。）

Chandler

Where have you been?

你上哪儿去了？

Joey

Oh, just had a baby.

我刚生了个小孩。

Chandler

Mazel tov!

了不起！

Dr. Franzblau

I don't know, could be an hour, could be three, but relax, she's doing great. So, uh, tell me, are you currently involved with anyone?

说不定，或许是一小时也可能是三小时，别请放心，她的状况良好。告诉我，目前有对象吗？

Rachel

(anxiously) No, no, not at the moment, no, I'm not. Are you?

（焦虑）没有，现在没有。你呢？

Dr. Franzblau

No, it's hard enough to get women to go out with me.

没有，我不容易找到对象。

Rachel

Right, yeah, I've heard that about cute doctors.

对，我听过有关帅哥大夫的传间。

Dr. Franzblau

No, no, really. I suppose it's because I spend so much time, you know, where I do.

不，真的。我想和我工作有关。

Rachel

Oh.

哦。

Dr. Franzblau

I try not to let my work affect my personal life, but it's hard, when you... do what I do. It's like uh...Well, for instance, what do you do?

我试着不让工作影响我的生活，可是……如果你是我，你从事什么工作？

Rachel

I'm a waitress.

我是服务生。

Dr. Franzblau

Ok, all right, well aren't there times when you come home at the end of the day, and you're just like, 'if I see one more cup of coffee'...

难道你下班回家后不会觉得，“如果我再看见咖啡杯……”

Rachel

(getting the point) Yeah. Gotcha.

（懂了）是的，我懂。

Dr. Franzblau

I'm gonna go check up on your friend.

我去看看你朋友。

Rachel

Ok. That's fine. (takes her earrings out)

好吧。（摘下耳环）

Lydia

So how did you know I was even here?

你怎么会知道我在这儿？

Guy

Your mom called me. So is this her?

你妈打电话告诉我的。这就是她？

Lydia

No, this is a loaner.

不，这是我捡来的。

Guy

I'm sorry you had to do this by yourself.

抱歉，让你自己承担这一切。

Lydia

I wasn't by myself. I had a doctor, a nurse, and a helper guy. (Joey smiles) So, did you see who won the game?

我不是自己一个，我有大夫、护士和善心人士。（乔伊微笑）知道谁赢吗？

Guy

Yeah, the Knicks by 10. They suck.

尼克胜十分，他们好烂。

Lydia

Yeah, they're not so bad.

是吗？他们没那么差劲。

(Joey closes the door and ties the balloons to the knob. Then he walks away, holding the hand of an inflated balloon animal he had brought.)

（乔伊关上门，把气球系在门把上。然后他走开，手里拿着他带来的充气气球动物。）

Ross

Come on, come on. Damnit, damnit, damnit, damnit. (to Susan) This is all your fault. This is supposed to be, like, the greatest day of my life, y'know? My son is being born, and I should be in there, you know, instead of stuck in a closet with you.

可恶……都是你的错。这本来是我今生最快乐的日子。我儿子即将出世，我应该在那儿的，而不是被困在这儿。

Susan

The woman I love is having a baby today. I've been waiting for this just as much as you have.

我所爱的女人就要生，我和你一样期待已久。

Ross

No no no, believe me. No one has been waiting for this as much as I have, ok? And you know what the funny thing is? When this day is over, you get to go home with the baby, ok? Where does that leave me?

不，相信我，没人像我如此期待。讽刺的是你们将带着宝宝回家，那我呢？

Susan

You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. Who am I? There's Mother's Day, there's Father's Day, there's no... Lesbian Lover Day.

你是孩子的爸，大家都知道你是谁。我是谁？这世上有父亲节、母亲节，却没有女同志节。

Ross

Every day is Lesbian Lover Day.

每天都是女同志节。

Phoebe

This is so great.

精彩。

Ross

You wanna explain that?

愿意解释吗？

Phoebe

I mean, well, 'cause when I was growing up, you know my dad left, and my mother died, and my stepfather went to jail, so I barely had enough pieces of parents to make one whole one. And here's this little baby who has like three whole parents who care about it so much that they're fighting over who gets to love it the most. And it's not even born yet. It's just, it's just the luckiest baby in the whole world. (pause) I'm sorry, you were fighting.

因为我小时候我爸离开，我妈过世，我继父入狱，我根本得不到父母的爱。如今他有如此爱他的三个父母，甚至为谁给他的爱最多而吵架，而且他根本还未出世，他真是全天下最幸福的宝宝。抱歉，你们正在吵架。

Carol

Where are they?

他们在哪儿？

Monica

I'm sure they'll be here soon.

他们很快就会来。

Rachel

Yeah, honey, they wouldn't miss this.

对，他们不会错过的。

Joey

Relax. You're only at nine centimeters. And the baby's at zero station.

放轻松，才开九公分，宝宝没那么快出来。

Chandler

(to Joey) You are really frightening me.

（对乔伊）你吓到我了。

(Carol suddenly screams in pain and grabs Chandler by the shirt.)

（卡罗突然痛得尖叫，抓住钱德勒的衬衫。）

Chandler

Somebody wanna help me, tryin' to rip out my heart. (they pull her hand off of him) Uh, that's great. (looking around) Anybody seen a nipple?

谁愿意帮我吗？她想掏出我的心脏。（他们拉开她的手）这下可好，有人看见乳头吗？

Dr. Franzblau

All right, ten centimeters, here we go.

十公分，开始用力。

Nurse

All right, honey, time to start pushing.

亲爱的，开始用力。

Carol

But they're not here yet!

他们还没好！

Dr. Franzblau

I'm sorry, I can't tell the baby to wait for them.

抱歉，我无法叫宝宝等他们来。

Carol

Oh, god.

哦，天啊。

Ross

Ok, got the vent open.

通气口开了。

Phoebe

(reading the nametag on the uniform) Hi, I'm Ben. I'm hospital worker Ben. It's Ben... to the rescue!

（读制服上的名字牌）我是宾，我是医院工人宾，宾前来抢救了！

Ross

Ben, you ready? All right, gimme your foot. Ok, on three, Ben. One, two, three. Ok, That's it, Ben.

宾，准备好没？脚给我。数到三，一、二、三。好了，宾。

(Ross and Susan lift Phoebe up into the vent.)

（罗斯和苏珊把菲比举进通风口。）

Susan

What do you see?

你看见什么？

Phoebe

Well, Susan, I see what appears to be a dark vent. Wait. Yes, it is in fact a dark vent.

我看见黑暗的通气孔，等等，真的是黑暗的通气孔。

(A janitor opens the closet door from the outside.)

（一个清洁工从外面打开扫帚间的门。）

Ross

Phoebs, It's open! It's open!

菲比，门开了！

(Ross and Susan run to the delivery room, leaving Phoebe dangling from the vent.)

（罗斯和苏珊跑向产房，留下菲比吊在通风口。）

Janitor

(to Ross and Susan) Wait! You forgot your legs!

（对罗斯和苏珊）等等，你们忘了脚！

All

Push, push!

用力，用力！

Ross

We're here!

我们来了！

Carol

(irked) Where have you been?

（生气）你们上哪儿去了？

Ross

Long story, honey.

说来话长。

Dr. Franzblau

All right, Carol, I need you to keep pushing. I need---(reaches for an instrument, Rachel's hand is on it) Excuse me, could I have this?

卡萝，我要你不断用力。抱歉，我能用这个吗？

Nurse

All right, all right, there's a few too many people in this room, and there's about to be one more, so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go!

这里人太多了，而且待会儿又会多一个，所以不是前任丈夫和女同志终身伴侣者请出去！

All

Good luck!

再见……祝好运……

(Everyone heads for the door.)

（大家都走向门口。）

Chandler

(to nurse) Let me ask you, do you have to be Carol's lesbian life partner?

（对护士）我问你，要卡萝的女同志终身伴侣才行吗？

Nurse

Out!

出去！

Dr. Franzblau

All right, he's crowning. Here he comes.

他的头露出来了，让我看看……

Ross

Let me see, I gotta see, I gotta see. Oh, a head. Oh, it's, it's huge. Carol, how are you doing this?

是头……好大。卡萝，你是怎么办到的？

Carol

(straining) Not.... helping!

（使劲）于事无补。

Dr. Franzblau

You're doing great, you're doing fine.

你做得很好。

Ross

(puts his head near the baby) Hello! (to Dr. Franzblau) Oh, sorry.

（把头靠近宝宝）你好！（对大夫）抱歉。

Susan

What do you see? What do you see?

你看见什么？

Ross

We got a head, we got shoulders, we got arms, we got, oh, look at the little fingers, oh, and a chest, and a stomach. It's a boy, definitely a boy! All right! Ok, legs, knees, and feet. Oh, oh. He's here. He's a person.

头、肩膀、手臂……看，是手指，肚子。是男的，百分百男孩！好，腿、膝盖、脚。他出来了，他是个人。

Susan

Oh, look at that.

哦，看他。

Carol

What does he look like?

他像谁？

Ross

Kinda like my uncle Ed, covered in Jell-o.

像我叔叔艾德，被果冻包着。

Carol

Really?

真的？

Phoebe

(from the air vent overhead) You guys, he's beautiful!

（从头顶的通风口）各位，他好漂亮！

Ross

Oh, thanks, Pheebs!

谢了，菲比！

(They look up towards the vent and wave at Phoebe.)

（他们抬头向通风口挥手。）

Susan

No shouting, but we still need a name for this little guy.

不准大吼，我们仍需要为他取个名字。

Ross

(thinking) How 'bout Ben?

（想）宾如何？

Susan

I like Ben.

我喜欢宾。

Carol

Ben. Ben. Ben's good. How come you never mentioned Ben before?

宾，这名字不错。你们之前怎没提过这名字？

Ross

We uh, we just cooked it up.

我们刚想出来的。

Susan

That's what we were off doing.

这就是我们不在时做的事。

(Monica opens the door.)

（莫妮卡开门。）

Monica

Hi.

嗨。

Ross

Hey.

嘿。

Monica

Can we come in?

我们能进来吗？

(The whole gang enters.)

（大家都进来。）

Ross

(to Ben) I know, I know. Everybody, there's someone I'd like you to meet. Yeah. This is Ben. Ben, this is everybody.

（对本）我知道。各位，向你们介绍一个人。他叫宾，宾，这是大家。

Phoebe

Susan, he looks just like you.

苏珊，他看起来像你。

Susan

Thanks.

谢谢。

Rachel

Oh, god, I can't believe one of us actually has one of these.

天啊，没想到我们之中有人生宝宝了。

Chandler

I know, I still am one of these.

我知道，我也是其中之。

Monica

Ross, can I?

罗斯，我能吗？

(Monica holds Ben.)

（莫妮卡抱着本。）

Ross

The head, the head. You gotta...

头，你必须……

Monica

(getting choked up) Hi, Ben. Hi. I'm your Aunt Monica. Yes I am. I'm your Aunt Monica. I... I will always have gum.

（哽咽）宾，我是你姑姑莫妮卡。没错，我就是你姑姑莫妮卡。我将永远有……牙齿。

Closing Credits

片尾

Ross

Ben, I want you to know that there may be some times when I may not be around, like this. (walks out of the picture) But I'll still always come back, like this. (returns) And sometimes I may be away longer, like this. (walks away) But I'll still always come back, like this. (returns)

本，我要你知道有时我会不在，像这样。我会回来，像这样。有时我会离开更久，像这样。我仍会回来，像这样。

(Chandler comes into the picture.)

（钱德勒进入画面。）

Chandler

And sometimes, I'll want you to steal third, and I'll go like this. (Does a baseball sign.)

有时我要你到三垒，我会这样。（做棒球手势。）

(The rest of the group come into the picture.)

（其他人进入画面。）

Monica

He is so amazing.

他太神奇了。

Rachel

Oh, I know. Look at him.

我知道，你看他。

Joey

Ben, Ben, hey Ben. Nothing. I don't think that's his name.

本，本，没反应。我想他不喜欢这名字。

Phoebe

Oh, look, look, he's closing his eyes. (screen goes blank) Look, he's opening his eyes. (picture comes back)

看，他闭上眼睛了。（屏幕变黑）看，他张开眼睛了。（画面恢复）

Joey

He doesn't do much, does he?

他不常动吧？

Ross

No, this is pretty much it.

这样已算动了。

(long moment of silence)

（长时间沉默）

Rachel

You guys wanna get some coffee?

你们想喝咖啡吗？

All

Yeah.

想。

Ross

All right, I'll see you guys later.

好吧，待会儿见。

(They all leave but Ross, but they all come back a few seconds later. They make faces at the baby.)

（他们都离开，但几秒钟后又都回来了。他们对婴儿做鬼脸。）

Phoebe

Oh, look, he's closing his eyes again.

看，他又闭上眼睛了。

(The screen fades to black.)

（屏幕渐黑。）

End

剧终