The One With the Ick Factor

(Scene: Central Perk. Everyone is there.)

中央咖啡馆。大家都在。）

Monica

Tell him.

告诉他嘛。

Rachel

No.

不。

Phoebe

Tell him, tell him.

对，就告诉他嘛。

Monica

Just... please tell him.

拜托，快告诉我。

Rachel

Shut up!

闭嘴！

Chandler

Tell me what?

告诉我什么？

Monica

Look at you, you won't even look at him.

你看你，连正眼看他都不肯。

Chandler

(sarcastically) Oh, come on tell me. I could use another reason why women won't look at me.

（讽刺）下回女人不看我时我有了新藉口。

Rachel

All right, all right, all right. Last night, I had a dream that, uh, you and I, were...

好吧好吧。昨晚我梦见我和你……

Phoebe

Doing it on this table. (points at the table)

在这桌上做爱。（指着桌子）

Chandler

Wow!

梦中得分。

Joey

Excellent dream score.

做梦得分。

Ross

Why, why, why would you dream that?

你怎会有这种梦？

Chandler

More importantly, was I any good?

最重要的是我棒吗？

Rachel

Well, you were pretty damn good.

简直是棒极了。

Chandler

Interesting, cause in my dreams, I'm always surprisingly inadequate. (Monica pats him on his lap)

真有意思，在我梦中我总是力不从心。（莫妮卡拍拍他的腿）

Rachel

Well, last night you seemed to know your way around the table.

昨晚你在桌上表现神了。

Ross

I love it, when we share.

真高兴能与你们分享。

(Ross goes over to the counter. Chandler follows him.)

（罗斯走到吧台。钱德勒跟着他。）

Chandler

You're okay there?

你没事吧？

Ross

I can't believe you two had sex in her dream.

我不敢相信你会在她梦中做爱。

Chandler

I'm sorry, it was a one-time-thing. I was very drunk and I was somebody else's subconscious.

抱歉，我只有一次，我醉得不省人事，而且这是某人的潜意识。

Opening Credits

片头

Chandler

Hello Rachel.

你好，瑞秋。

Rachel

Get off.

起来。

Phoebe

(points at Joey's pen) Uh, uh, gimme. Can you see me operating a drill press?

（指着乔伊的笔）给我。你们能想像操作钻床的我吗？

Joey

I don't know. What are you wearing?

不知道，你当时穿什么？

(Chandler, Monica and Phoebe looks at him)

（钱德勒、莫妮卡和菲比看着他。）

Ross

Pheebs, why would you want to operate a drill press?

菲比，你为何想操作钻床？

Phoebe

Just for some short-term-work. You know, until I get back some of my massage clients.

只是暂时的工作，直到我找回部份的按摩客户。

Chandler

Pirates again?

又是海盗？

Phoebe

No, nothing like that. I was just... such a dummy. I taught this "massage-yourself-at-home-workshop." And they are.

没那回事。我是个大笨蛋。我教他们“自己在家动手作按摩”，结果他们就在家里作。

Joey

Hey, hey, Chan. She could work for you.

嘿，钱德勒，她可以为你工作吗？

Chandler

(sarcastically) Thanks Joey, that's a good idea.

（讽刺）谢了，这是个好主意。

Phoebe

What... I could, I could do it. What is it?

我可以，是什么工作？

Chandler

Well, my secretary is gonna be out for a couple of weeks. She is having one of her boobs reduced. (Ross looks at her.) It's a whole big boob story.

我秘书这几周无法来上班，她去动消乳手术。一言难尽的波霸故事。

Phoebe

I could be a secretary.

我可以当个秘书。

Chandler

Well, you know Phoebs. I don't know if it's your kinda thing, because it involves a lot of being normal. For a large portion of the day.

我不知你是否是这块料，因为这份工作得要表现“正常”。白天要尽量正常。

Phoebe

I could do that.

我能办到。

(Ross's beeper goes off)

（罗斯的呼机响了。）

Rachel

What are you playing with?

你在玩什么？

Ross

Oh, it's my new beeper.

我的呼机。

Joey

What the hell does a paleontologist need a beeper for?

古生物学家要那玩意儿干嘛？

Monica

Is it like for dinosaur emergencies. 'Help, come quick, they're still extinct.'

恐龙紧急事件？“救命啊，快来，他们还是绝种了。”

Ross

No, it's for when Carol goes into labor. She can get me wherever I am. I mean, all she has to do is to dial 55-JIMBO.

不，是为卡萝生产买的。她随时可以连络到我。她只需拨个号码55-JIMBO。

Chandler

A cool phone number, and a possible name for the kid.

这号码真酷，还能当孩子的名字。

Monica

All right, I'll see you guys later. (raises)

各位回头见了。（起身）

Rachel

Off to see young Ethan?

去见伊森小子？

Monica

Thank you.

谢谢。

Joey

How young is young Ethan? Young?

伊森到底有多小？

Monica

He's... our age.

年纪和我们差不多。

Chandler

When we were?

当我们还是……

Monica

Okay, he's a senior in college.

他是大学四年级学生。

Ross

College?

大学？

Chandler

Whoa! And this manchild has no problem with how old you are?

这位小朋友不在乎你的年纪？

Monica

No, of course not. It's not even an issue. Cause I told him I was 22.

当然不在乎。因为我告诉他我22岁。

All

What?

什么？

Monica

Oh, I can't pass for 22?

我不像22岁？

Phoebe

Well, maybe 25-26.

25，26还说得过去。

Monica

I am 26.

我今年26。

Phoebe

There you go.

那就对了。

Chandler

Can you hear that?

听见没？

Phoebe

(plays with a thumbtack remover) Yeah?

（玩图钉起子）听见了。

Chandler

See that'll stop when you pick up the phone.

再不接电话就断了。

Phoebe

Oh. Uh, I'm on. (picks up the phone)

我来。（接起电话）

Phoebe

(with a deep voice) Mr. Bing's office. (Listens) No I'm sorry, he's in a meeting right now.

（低沉的嗓音）宾先生办公室。抱歉，他正在开会。

Chandler

I'm not in a meeting. I'm right... Whoops.

我没在开会，我在……谁……

Phoebe

Will he know what this is in reference to? (Listens) And he has your number? (Listens) All right, I'll see that he gets the message. Bye bye.

他知道这件事吗？他有你的号码？好，我会转告他的，再见。

Chandler

What?

什么？

Phoebe

Ross says hi.

罗斯打来问候的。

Chandler

Ah!

真好玩。

Phoebe

This is so fun. All right, what do we do now?

现在做什么？

Chandler

Well, now, I actually have to get to work.

现在我得开始工作了。

Phoebe

Most likely. (raises and goes toward the door) Okay, I'm gonna be out there.

“没错”（Magicball显示）我出去一下。

Chandler

Okay.

好吧。

Phoebe

All right. Bye bye.

我出去一下，拜拜。

Chandler

Bye bye.

拜拜。

(The intercom buzzes)

（对讲机响。）

Chandler

(answering it) Yes?

（接起）什么事？

Phoebe

Whatcha doin'?

你在干吗？

Chandler

Ooh. (leans against the desk)

哦。（靠在桌上）

Monica

Windows are clean, candles are lit. Uh, belt's too tight, gotta change the belt. Did I turn the fish? (goes over to the kitchen to check on the dinner) No, cause I made lasagne. (to Rachel) Am I out of control?

窗户擦好了，蜡烛点上了。皮带太紧，我得去换一条。鱼翻过了没？不，因为我做的是千层面。我是否已走火入魔？

Rachel

Just a touch. Mon, I don't understand. I mean, you've been dating this guy since like, what... his midterms? I mean, why all the sudden are you so... Oh.

一点点。莫妮卡，我不懂，你们从他期中考开始约会，突然间你……

Monica

What?

我怎么了？

Rachel

Could tonight be the Night?

就在今夜？

Monica

I don't know. Look he's a great guy and I love being with him but... you know. Things happen, and they happen. You don't plan these things.

我不知道。他是个好男孩，我喜欢和他在一起，很难说。事情会发生就是会发生，这种事无法事先计划好。

Rachel

So, did you shave your legs?

腿毛刮了没？

Monica

Yeah.

刮了。

Rachel

A-ha!

啊哈！

Joey

Would you let it go Ross. It was just a dream. It doesn't mean...

罗斯，你就别再折磨自己了。这只是一场梦，不代表……

(Ross's beeper goes off)

（罗斯的呼机响了。）

Ross

Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh this is it. Oh my god it's baby time. Baby time.

时候到了，宝宝要出世了。

Joey

All right, relax, relax. Just relax, just relax. Be cool, be cool.

放轻松……冷静点。

(Ross dials a number on his cellular phone)

（罗斯用手机拨号。）

Ross

(on phone) Yeah, hi, I was just beeped. (pause) No, Andre is not here. (to Joey) Third time today. (on phone) Yes, I'm sure... No, sir. I don't perform those kind of services.

（打电话）有人呼我？不，安卓不在这儿。（对乔伊）今天已是第三次了。（打电话）对，我确定……不，先生，我不做那种服务。

Joey

Services? (Ross looks at him) Oh, services.

服务？哦，服务。

Ross

(on phone) Yeah, you want 55-JUMBO. Yeah, that's right. That's right, JUMBO with a U, sir. (pause) No, believe me, you don't want me. Judging by his number, I'd be a huge disappointment. (pause) All rightie, bye bye.

（打电话）对，你要打的是55-JUMBO。没错，有U的JUMBO。不，先生，相信我你不会想要我的，从他的号码看来，你看到我会大失所望。好吧，再见了。

(Phoebe and Chandler enter)

（菲比和钱德勒进来。）

Joey

Hey, hey. How was the first day?

第一天上班如何？

Phoebe

Oh, excellent. Everyone was so, so nice.

太棒了，每个人都很棒。

Chandler

See, it pays to know the man who wears my shoes. (Joey and Ross wonder what he means) Me.

瞧，认识穿我鞋子的人是有代价的。（乔伊和罗斯不解）我。

Phoebe

No, I didn't tell anybody that I knew you.

不，我没告诉任何人我认识你。

Chandler

Why not?

为什么？

Phoebe

Oh, because, you know... they don't like you.

因为他们并不喜欢你。

Chandler

What?!

什么？！

Phoebe

I thought you knew that.

我以为你早知道。

Chandler

No. Who doesn't they like me?

不知道。谁不喜欢我？

Phoebe

Everyone. Except for uh... no, everyone.

每个人，除了……不，是每个人。

Chandler

What are you talking about?

你在说什么？

Phoebe

Don't feel bad. You know they used to like you a lot. But then you got promoted, and, you know, now you're like "Mr. Boss Man". You know, Mr. Bing. Mr. Bing, "Boss Man Bing".

别难过，他们过去都很喜欢你。自从你升职后，他们感觉你是上司。大人物，大老板。

(Joey and Ross laughs)

（乔伊和罗斯笑。）

Chandler

I can't believe it.

我简直无法相信。

Phoebe

Yeah, yeah. They even do you.

他们甚至还模仿你。

Chandler

They do me?

模仿我？

Phoebe

You know like... uh okay... uh... 'Could that report be any later?'

对，报告要“何时”才能交来？

(Joey and Ross laughs)

（乔伊和罗斯笑。）

Chandler

I don't sound like that.

我没有那样。

Ross

Oh, oh Chandler...

你有的。

Joey

Oh... Yeah, you do.

你有的。

Ross

'The hills were alive with the sound of music.'

这山谷因音乐而变得生动。

(Phoebe, Joey and Ross laughs)

（菲比、乔伊和罗斯笑。）

Joey

(reaches for his scones) My scones.

（伸手拿烤饼）我的烤饼。

Phoebe, Joey, and Ross: 'My scones.'

我的烤饼！

(Phoebe, Joey and Ross laughs again)

（菲比、乔伊和罗斯又笑。）

Chandler

Okay, I don't sound like that. That is so not true.

我没那样说话，这不……闭嘴。

(Joey and Chandler laughs)

（乔伊和钱德勒笑。）

Chandler

That is so not... That is so not... That... Oh, shut up!

不会吧！

(Phoebe, Joey and Ross laugh)

（菲比、乔伊和罗斯笑。）

Monica

Did not.

不会吧。

Young Ethan

I am telling you, up until I was, like nine, I thought that gunpoint was an actual place where crimes happen.

告诉你，我到九岁时还以为枪口就是犯罪现场。

Monica

How was that possible?

怎么会？

Young Ethan

Well, think about it. It's always on the news. 'A man is being held up, at gunpoint.' 'Tourists are being terrorised, at gunpoint.' And I just kept thinking: why does people continue to go there? (He checks his watch.) Oh, ah. I should go.

新闻老是报导犯罪事件。某人在枪口下，惊慌的观光客被挟持在枪口下。我一直在想为何人总是要那儿去。（看表）我该走了。

Monica

Okay.

好吧。

(They kiss)

（他们接吻。）

Young Ethan

Okay.

好吧。

Monica

Unless...

除非……

Young Ethan

What?

什么？

Monica

Uh, ah. Unless you wanna stay over? I mean, I'm going to, so...

除非你要在这儿过夜？我反正要在这里过夜……

Young Ethan

Yeah, I'd really like that.

我也很想。

(They kiss)

（他们接吻。）

Young Ethan

Uuh, before we get into any staying-over-stuff, there is something you should know.

我们这样做前我得告诉你。

Monica

Okay, is this like 'I have an early class tomorrow' or 'I'm secretly married to a goat?'

明天一早有课？还是你已经与什么家伙秘密结婚了？

Young Ethan

Well it's somewhere in between. You see, in a strictly technical sense, of course, I'm not uh..., well I, I mean I haven't ever uh...

在这两者之间。就严格的技术上而言，当然，我还没……

Monica

Ethan?

伊森？

Young Ethan

Yeah?

嗯？

Monica

Are you a virgin?

你是个处男？

Young Ethan

Well, if that's what you kids are calling it these days then, yes I am. I uh, I've kinda been waiting for the right person.

如果你们这些孩子现在这样称呼的话，对，我是个处男。我一直在等待梦中情人出现。

Monica

Really?

是吗？

Young Ethan

Yeah. You do know I was talking about you, right?

是的。你知道我说的就是你吧？

(They kiss)

（他们接吻。）

Young Ethan

Wow!

哇！

Monica

You keep saying that.

你一直哇个不停。

Young Ethan

You know, you read about it, you see it in the movies. Even when you practice it at home, man oh man, it is nothing like that.

书报杂志，电影上不断出现，甚至在家里练习，跟这感觉实在没得比。

(They kiss)

（他们接吻。）

Monica

Listen, uh, you told me something that was really difficult for you. And I, I-I figured if you could be honest, then I can too.

听着，难为你肯据实相告。如果你能坦白，我想我也能。

Young Ethan

Oh god, don't tell me, I did it wrong.

别告诉我是我做错了。

Monica

No-no. Nothing wrong about that.

不，那件事你没做错。

Young Ethan

Oh.

哦。

Monica

Um, okay, here it goes. I'm not 22. I'm, I'm 25... and thirteen months.

我说了，我不是22岁，我是25岁……又13个月。

Young Ethan

Huh!

哈！

Monica

But I figured, you know, that shouldn't change anything. I mean, what the hell does it matter how old we are.

我猜我们之间不会有任何改变，年龄根本就不是距离。

(They kiss)

（他们接吻。）

Young Ethan

Uh, listen um, as long as we're telling stuff, uh, I have another one for you. I'm a little younger than I said.

在你坦承之际我也有话要说，我比你所知的年纪还小。

Monica

You're not a senior?

你不是四年级？

Young Ethan

Oh, I'm a senior... in High School.

我是四年级……高中。

Monica

Ok...ay.

好吧。

Commercial Break

广告时间

Monica

What we did was wrong. Oh god, I just had sex with somebody that wasn't alive during the Bicentennial.

我们错了。我竟和一个在建国两百年国庆都还没出生的男人做爱。

Young Ethan

I just had sex.

我刚做爱了。

Monica

Ethan, focus. How could you not tell me?

伊森，注意听，你为何不早告诉我？

Young Ethan

Well, you never told me how old you were.

你也没告诉我你实际的年龄。

Monica

Well, that's different. My lie didn't make one of us a felon in 48 states. What were you thinking?

那不一样，我的谎言不会使我们成为罪犯。你到底在想什么？

Young Ethan

I wasn't thinking. I was too busy fallin'...

我没在想什么，我忙于……

Monica

Don't say it. (closes Ethan's mouth with her hand)

不准说。（用手捂住伊森的嘴）

Young Ethan

...in love with you.

爱你。

Monica

Really?

真的？

Young Ethan

(nods) Sorry.

（点头）对不起。

Monica

Well, fall out of it. You know, you shouldn't even be here, it's a school night. Oh god, oh god. I'm like those women that you see with shiny guys named Chad. I'm Joan Collins.

走吧，你不该来这儿的，你该在学校过夜。天啊，我像是专门勾引小帅哥的女人，我成了琼考琳丝。

Young Ethan

Who?

谁？

Ross

(on phone) Okay, Andre should be there in like 45 minutes. All rightie, bye bye. (to Phoebe) Just easier that way.

（打电话）好，安卓再45分钟就会到。好吧，再见。（对菲比）这样省事多了。

Chandler

Oh, come on. You told me about the last dream.

快，你已告诉我昨晚的梦。

Rachel

No, forget it.

不，死了这条心的。

Chandler

Oh, why not. Was I doing anything particularly... saucy?

为什么？难道是梦中的我对你过于粗鲁？

Rachel

All right, fine. Um, you were not the only one there. (Camera fades to Ross, who's listening very carefully) Joey was there too.

好吧。不仅你在场，乔伊也在场。

Joey

All right. (Moves closer.)

好吧。（靠近些。）

Ross

Was there... uh, huh, huh, huh... anybody, anybody else there.

还有……其他人吗？

Rachel

No.

没了。

Ross

You're sure? Nobody uh, handed out uh, mints or anything?

你确定？旁边没人蠢蠢欲动？

Rachel

No, it was just the three of us.

没有，只有我们三个。

Ross

Huh!

嗯！

Joey

So, tell me. Was it like you and Chandler, and then you and me, or you and me and Chandler?

是你跟钱德勒之后再跟我，还是我们三个同时？

Rachel

(laughs) You know what?

（笑）你知道吗？

Joey

What?

什么？

Rachel

There were times when it wasn't even me.

有几次甚至没有我。

(Chandler and Joey laughs, until they look at each other then recoil in horror.)

（钱德勒和乔伊笑，然后他们对视，惊恐地退缩。）

Phoebe

That is so sweet, you guys. (hugs them)

真好。（拥抱他们）

(Monica enters, wearing a walkman, so she doesn't hear what the others say)

（莫妮卡进来，戴着随身听，没听到别人说什么。）

Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe: Hey, Mon.

嘿，莫。

Rachel

Mon, Ethan called again. Mon?

莫，伊森又来电了。莫？

All

(shouting) Mon!

（喊）莫妮卡！

(Monica takes off her walkman)

（莫妮卡摘下随身听。）

Monica

What?

什么事？

Rachel

Ethan called again.

伊森又来电了。

Monica

Oh.

哦。

Ross

Are you not seeing him anymore?

你不想再见到他了？

Monica

No. You know, sometimes just things doesn't work out.

对，有些事是无法勉强的。

Chandler

And this has nothing to do with the fact that he needs a note to get out of gym.

这跟他需要假条才能离开学校无关？

(Monica stares at Rachel)

（莫妮卡盯着瑞秋。）

Rachel

I, I didn't say any... I sw... I did not say anything, I swear. He stopped by.

我什么都没说，我发誓。他只是顺路过来。

Joey

Listen, the next time you talk to him, can you ask him which one the strongest Power Ranger is?

下回见到他时，能问闪电侠中最强的是谁？

(Ross and Chandler laughs)

（罗斯和钱德勒笑。）

Ross

Oh, yeah.

哦，好。

Monica

Ha, ha, ha, oh my life is just so amusing. Could we drop it now?

我的生活简直是太多采多姿了。可以换个话题吗？

Joey, Chandler, and Ross: Sorry.

对不起。

Ross

It's morphin time!

变身时刻！

Joey

Stegosaurus!

剑龙！

Chandler

Tyrannosaurus!

暴龙！

(They all cross their arms like the Power Rangers do)

（他们都像《金刚战士》那样交叉手臂。）

Phoebe

Ooh, oh, I've gotta go. (raises) Whoa, oh, head rush. One more, and then I have to go. (sits down, and then raises again) Cool!

哦，我得走了。（起身）哇哦，脑充血。再来一次，我就得走了。（坐下，又起身）酷！

Rachel

Where are you going?

你要上哪儿去？

Phoebe

Um, oh, I've got a birthday party, with some work people.

我要去参加同学的生日会。

Chandler

Work people? Nobody told me.

同事？没人跟我说？

Phoebe

No, I know. That's a part of the whole, you know, them-not-liking-you-extravaganza.

他们不希望你大驾光临。

Chandler

You know, I don't get this. A month ago, these people were my friends. You know, just because I'm in charge doesn't mean I'm a different person.

我不懂。一个月前他们是我朋友，当上主管并不代表我会变。

Phoebe

Well, then you should come tonight. You know, just hang out with them. Let them see what a great guy you still are.

那么说你今晚该来，和他们多相处。让他们知道你还是个大好人。

Chandler

You think I should?

你真的认为我该去？

Phoebe

I really do, yeah.

对，你该去。

Chandler

Okay.

好吧。

Phoebe

Okay.

好吧。

Chandler

Okay.

好吧。

Phoebe

Oh, but, could we not go together? I, I don't wanna be the geek that invited the boss.

我们能不一起去吗？我不想成为邀请上司的家伙。

Chandler

I think last night was great. You know, the Karaoke thing. Tracy and I doing Ebony and Ivory.

昨晚真是太棒了，卡拉OK。我和崔西合唱了首“乌木与象牙”。

Phoebe

You were great. But they still made fun of you.

你表现得很好，大家仍然取笑你。

Chandler

What?

什么？

Phoebe

You know, now you're more like, you know like, "Mr. Caring Boss," "Mr.," you know, "I'm one of you, Boss," "Mr., I wanna be your buddy, Boss Man Bing!"

你现在成了“管家婆”上司。我要你上司，“称兄道弟”上司。

Chandler

Then, I don't get it.

我更迷糊了。

Phoebe

Well, you know what Chandler? I think you've gotta face it. You're like, the guy in the big office, you know. You're the one that hires them, that fires them... They still say you're a great boss.

钱德勒，你得面对现实。你像个坐在大办公室里的人一样，有权录取他们，也有权开除他们。他们说你是个好上司。

Chandler

They do?

是吗？

Phoebe

Uh huh. But they're not your friends anymore.

他们不再是你的朋友。

Chandler

I just want to...

我只是想……

Phoebe

No, but you can't.

你不能。

Chandler

But I just wa...

我不是要去……

Phoebe

Uh uh.

不行。

Monica

Aren't you gonna...

你不……

Ross

Oh, Carol and I have a new system. If she punches in 911, it means she's having a baby, otherwise I just ignore it.

卡萝和我有了新系统，如果打911就代表她将生产，否则我就根本不理会。

Joey

What about Andre?

安卓呢？

Ross

Oh, well this morning he got a call from who I think was our cousin Nathan, and frankly, it was a little more than I needed to know.

早上他接到我表弟纳森的电话，老实说我知道太多内幕了。

(Ethan enters)

（伊森进来。）

Young Ethan

Hey.

嘿。

Monica

That was gonna be my opener.

那也是我的开场白。

Rachel

(understands that Monica and Ethan wanna be alone) Hey, did you guys check out those new hand-dryers in the bathroom?

（意识到莫妮卡和伊森想独处）你们看过浴室里的新吹风机没？

Ross

I thought that was just a rumour.

我以为那只是谣传。

Rachel

True story.

千真万确。

Joey

They're here already?

早就装了？

(Rachel, Ross and Ross go to the bathroom)

（瑞秋、罗斯和乔伊去洗手间。）

Young Ethan

All right, look. I've gotta tell you something. I'm not 17. I only said so that you'd think I was cute and vulnerable. I'm actually 30, I have a wife, I have a job, I'm your Congressman. Monica, this is ridiculous, we're great together. We can talk, we make each other laugh, and the sex. Oh, man, okay i have no frame of graph, but I thought that was great.

我得和你谈谈。我不是17岁，我这样说你才会认为我可爱惹人怜。其实我今年30，我有老婆和工作，我是你的国会议员。莫妮卡，这太荒谬了。我们在一起很开心，我们聊天说笑做爱。我虽然经验不多，但一切是那么美。

Monica

It was.

的确是。

Young Ethan

Then, what's the problem?

那么问题出在哪儿？

Monica

Ethan, it's um... it's icky.

伊森，那是不能长久的。

Young Ethan

Icky? You're actually gonna throw this away because it's icky?

不能长久？因为如此你就想放弃？

Monica

This isn't easy for me either. I wish things were different, I... If you were a few years older, or if I was a few years younger, or if we lived in biblical times, I would really...

我是不得已的。我希望情形不是这样。如果你年长几岁，我年轻几岁，或是我们生活在圣经时代，我就可以……

Young Ethan

No, don't say it. (closes Monica's mouth with his hand)

不要说。（用手捂住莫妮卡的嘴）

Monica

...love you.

爱你。

(Ross, Rachel and Joey come back from the bathroom. They discover that Monica and Ethan aren't finished talking to each other yet.)

（罗斯、瑞秋和乔伊从洗手间回来。他们发现莫妮卡和伊森还没谈完。）

Ross

Are your hands still wet?

你的手还没干？

Joey

Uh, moist, yeah.

还是湿的。

Rachel

Let's dry 'em again.

那就再去烘一次。

(They go to the bathroom again)

（他们又去洗手间。）

Gerston

Uh, like, could these margaritas be any stronger? (They discover that Chandler is listening) Hey, Chandler.

这些萄葡酒能再“烈”一点吗？（他们发现钱德勒在听）嘿，钱德勒。

Santos

Hello, Mr. Bing.

宾先生。

Petrie

Loved your Stevie Wonder last night.

我爱你昨晚的史提夫汪达。

Chandler

Thanks. Listen, about the weekly numbers, I'm gonna need them on my desk by nine o'clock.

谢谢。有关这周的数据，九点“之”前请送到我办公室来。

Santos

Sure.

没问题。

Gerston

No problem.

没问题。

(They go away, trying very hard not to laugh at Chandler)

（他们走开，拼命忍着不笑钱德勒。）

Chandler

You have to give 'em something, you know. Okay, now that was Gerston, Santos, and who's the guy with the moustache?

总得给他们些话题嘛。刚刚是格斯顿，山托斯，留胡子的那个叫什么？

Phoebe

Petrie.

派崔，派崔，对。

Chandler

Petrie, right, right. Okay, some people gonna be working this weekend.

这周末有人得加班了。

Rachel

(talking in her sleep) Oooooooooh. (Rachel strokes her hand over the pillow. Ross mimics her silently) Oh, that's nice. Oh, oh. Huh, Ross!

（梦话）哦……（瑞秋用手抚摸枕头。罗斯无声地模仿她）哦，真好。哦，哦。罗斯！

(Ross gets all excited and starts to dance on the coffee table, but slips almost immediately, and falls onto the couch. Rachel wakes up.)

（罗斯非常兴奋，开始在咖啡桌上跳舞，但几乎立刻滑倒，摔到沙发上。瑞秋醒来。）

Rachel

Ross?

罗斯？

Ross

I'm here.

我在这儿。

Rachel

You are. Well, um... We, we, we were just... Wow!

你在这儿。好吧，我们只是……哇！

Ross

What? (his beeper goes off) Great, now I'm having a baby.

什么？（他的呼机响了）这下可好，我有宝宝了。

Rachel

What?

什么？

Ross

Ooh, ooh.

哦，哦。

Rachel

What?

什么？

Ross

I'm having... I'm having a baby. (jumps back onto the table again) I'm having a... Where's the phone? The phone?

我有宝宝了。（又跳回桌上）我有……电话在哪儿？电话？

Rachel

I don't know where the phone is.

电话在那儿。

(Ross runs from the table, over the couch but slips and falls onto the floor)

（罗斯从桌上跑下来，越过沙发，但滑倒摔在地上。）

Rachel

Ross?

罗斯？

Ross

I'm hurt.

我受伤了。

Closing Credits

片尾

Ross

Monica, let's go. Come on now people, woman in labor.

莫妮卡，快走，各位快点，她要生了。

(Chandler struts out from his apartment)

（钱德勒得意地从公寓出来。）

Chandler

(doing a little dance) Hey Ross, look what I've got going here.

（跳一小段舞）罗斯，看这是什么。

Ross

Yeah, save it for the cab, okay.

留着付计程车吧。

(Rachel comes out from their apartment with a mirror and a lipstick in her hands)

（瑞秋拿着镜子和口红从公寓出来。）

Ross

What are you doing? We're going to a hospital.

你在干什么？我们要去医院。

Rachel

What, so I can't look nice? There might be doctors there.

我不能漂亮一点吗？那儿或许有医生。

Ross

Joey, get out of the fridge.

乔，别翻冰箱了。

Joey

All right, all right. (he comes out from their apartment with a huge sandwich in his hand)

好吧，好吧。（他从公寓出来，手里拿着大三明治。）

Ross

What is that? (referring to the sandwich)

那是干吗的？

Joey

For the ride.

坐车的时候吃的。

Chandler

Yeah, like in a cab...

对……

Ross

Save it.

真讨厌。

Chandler

Okay, hating this.

好吧，我恨这样。

Ross

Monica, come on now. Let's go, baby coming.

莫妮卡，快走，宝宝就要出世了。

(Monica enters from their apartment, crying)

（莫妮卡从公寓出来，哭着。）

Monica

I can't believe it, I'm gonna be an aunt. I'm gonna have like a nephew.

我真不敢相信，我快当姑姑了，我快有侄子了。

Ross

That's nice. Get out. Let's go, come on.

真感人，走吧。

Joey

All right, I'm going. I'm going.

走吧。

(They all go down the stairs, but Ross turns around, looking like he's in a coma. The others also turns around to get him.)

（他们都下楼，但罗斯转身，看起来像昏迷一样。其他人也转身去扶他。）

Chandler

Here we go, here we go.

走吧。

Rachel

Rossy, Rossy.

罗斯，罗斯。

End

剧终