The One With the Evil Orthodontist

Chandler

I can't believe you would actually say that. I would much rather be Mr. Peanut than Mr. Salty.

我真不敢相信你会这么说。我是盐先生而非花生先生？

Joey

No way! Mr. Salty is a sailor, all right, he's got to be, like, the toughest snack there is.

才怪，盐先生是个水手，他应该是最顽强的点心。

Ross

I don't know, you don't wanna mess with corn nuts. They're craaazy.

我不知道，你不会想和玉米作对的。它们简直是疯了。

Monica

(looking out of the window) Oh my God. You guys! You gotta come see this! There's some creep out there with a telescope!

（看窗外）上帝呀！你们快来看！有个变态拿着望远镜。

Ross

I can't believe it! He's looking right at us!

我真不敢相信他在看我们！

Rachel

Oh, that is so sick.

真呕心。

Chandler

I feel violated. And not in a good way.

我感觉被冒犯了而且很不爽。

Phoebe

How can people do that?... (All but Phoebe walk away from the window in disgust.) Oh, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy got gravity boots!

怎会有人这样？（除了菲比大家都厌恶地走开）你们看，丑陋裸男有双重力鞋！

Opening Credits

片头

Chandler

I am telling you, years from now, schoolchildren will study it as one of the greatest first dates of all time. It was unbelievable! We could totally be ourselves, we didn't have to play any games...

告诉你们，几年后学童将会把它奉为第一次约会的经典加以研读。它太令人无法置信。我们可以完全作自己，无须再玩任何游戏……

Monica

So have you called her yet?

你打过电话给她没？

Chandler

Let her know I like her? What are you, insane? (The girls make disgusted noises.) It's the next day! How needy do I want to seem? (To the guys) I'm right, right?

让她知道我喜欢她？你疯了不成？才第二天你要我显得多渴望？对吧？

Joey and Ross

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Let her dangle.

对，让她慢慢等吧。

Monica

I can't believe my parents are actually pressuring me to find one of you people.

我无法相信我爸妈强迫我找你们这种男人。

Phoebe

Oh, God, just do it! (Grabbing the phone) Call her! Stop being so testosteroney!

快，拿起电话打给她！别摆出一副臭男人的样子！

Chandler

Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco treat. (Calls her, then hurriedly hangs up.) I got her machine.

对了，旧金山真有这道菜。（打电话，然后匆忙挂断）是机器。

Joey

Her answer machine?

她的答录机？

Chandler

No, interestingly enough her leaf blower picked up.

不，真有意思，是落叶机清扫机。

Phoebe

So, uh, why didn't you say anything?

你为何不说话？

Chandler

Oh, no-no-no-no. Last time I left a spontaneous message I ended up using the phrase "Yes indeedy-o."

不行，上次我留话时结果说了“对，的确”。

Monica

Look look! It's Rachel and Barry. No, don't everybody look at once!

看，是瑞秋和巴瑞。不，别一起看！

Ross

Okay, okay, what's going on?

怎么了？

Phoebe

Okay, they're just talking...

他们只是在讲话。

Ross

Yeah, well, does he look upset? Does he look like he was just told to shove anything?

是吗？他是否神情落寞？他是否像被告知去死的样子？

Phoebe

No, no actually, he's smiling.. and... Oh my God, don't do that!!

没有，而且他正在微笑。我的老天，不要那样干？

Ross

What? What? What?!

怎么啦？

Phoebe

That man across the street just kicked that pigeon! (Rachel enters.) Oh!

对街的男人踢了一只鸽子！（瑞秋进来）哦！

Chandler

(bluffing) And basically, that's how a bill becomes a law.

（唬人）这就是法案成为法律的原因。

All

Oh!... Right!

哦……没错！

Chandler

Hey Rach!

瑞秋！

Monica

How'd it go?

情况如何？

Rachel

Y'know, it was, uh.. it was actually really great. He took me to lunch at the Russian Tea Room, and I had that chicken, where y'know you poke it and all the butter squirts out...

好极了。他带我到俄国茶室吃饭，我点了那种鸡肉，一刺就有奶油啧出来的那种。

Phoebe

Not a good day for birds...

今天真不是鸟儿的好日子。

Rachel

Then we took a walk down to Bendall's, and I told him not to, but he got me a little bottle of Chanel...

然后我们去精品店，我告诉他不要，他还是买了香奈儿给我。

Ross

That's nice... now, was that before or after you told him to stop calling, stop sending you flowers and to generally leave you alone, hmm?

真体贴。是在你跟他说之前还是之后送的？叫他别再打电话来，别再送你花，别再来烦你？

Rachel

Right,.. well,.. we never actually got to that... Oh, it was just so nice to see him again, y'know? It was comfortable, it was familiar... it was just nice!

老实说我没机会开口。能再见到他的感觉真好，感觉是那么自在而熟悉，感觉真好！

Ross

That's, that's nice twice!

你已讲了两遍！

Monica

Rachel, what's going on? I mean isn't this the same Barry who you left at the altar?

瑞秋，你是怎么了？他不是在圣坛前被你甩掉的巴瑞吗？

Joey

Duh, where've you been?

你上哪儿去了？

Rachel

Yeah, but it was different with him today! And he wasn't, like, Orthodontist Guy, y'know? I mean, we had fun! Is there anything wrong with that?

今天和他在一起感觉不同。他今天不像是牙医，我们玩得很开心。这样有什么不对吗？

(Ross 'prompts' Chandler by hitting him on the arm.)

（罗斯打钱德勒的胳膊“提示”他。）

Chandler

Yes!

当然！

Rachel

Why?

为什么？

Chandler

I have my reasons.

我有我的理由。

Monica

Okay, how about the fact that he's engaged to another woman, who just happens to be your ex-best friend?

他订婚的对象是你前任的知己呢？

Rachel

All right. All right, all right, all right, all right, I know it's stupid! I will go see him this afternoon, and I will just put an end to it!

好吧好吧好吧，我知道这样做很傻。我下午去找他谈分手。

Rachel

Wow... Wow!

我不疯狂吧？我从未像这样。

Barry

Yeah.

从未。

Rachel

I'm not crazy, right? I mean, it was never like that.

我不疯狂吧？我从未像这样。

Barry

Nooo, it wasn't.

从未。

Rachel

Ooh, and it's so nice having this little sink here...

这儿有个小水槽真好。

Chandler

(on phone, reading from a script) Oh, Danielle! I wasn't expecting the machine... Give me a call when you get a chance. (Rattles some dishes) Bye-bye. (Hangs up.) Oh God!

（打电话，照稿读）丹妮尔，没想到是答录机接的。有空请回电。（弄响盘子）再见。（挂断）天啊！

Monica

That's what you've been working on for the past two hours?!

你这两小时都在忙这个？

Chandler

Hey, I've been honing!

我在演练！

Ross

What was with the dishes?

和盘子有何关系？

Chandler

Oh, uh.. I want her to think I might be in a restaurant.. y'know? I might have some kind of life, like I haven't been sitting around here honing for the past few hours.

我要她以为我在餐厅，我过着不错的生活，不是只在这儿演练数小时的样子。

Monica

(looking out the window) Look look! He's doing it again, the guy with the telescope!

（看窗外）看，又是那个拿望远镜的人！

Phoebe

Oh my God! (Walks to the window) Go away! (Gesturing.) Stop looking in here!

（走到窗边）拜托，走开，别再往这儿看！

Monica

Great, now he's waving back.

这下可好，他也挥手了。

Joey

Man, we gotta do something about that guy. This morning, I caught him looking into our apartment. It creeps me out! I feel like I can't do stuff!

我们得想办法阻止他。早上我逮到他往这儿看，真是令我毛骨惊然，我感觉自己无法办事！

Monica

What kinda stuff?

什么样的事情呀？

Joey

Will you grow up? I'm not talking about sexy stuff, but, like, when I'm cooking naked.

成熟点行吗？我不是指性，我只是光着屁股做饭。

Phoebe

You cook naked?

你光着屁股做饭？

Joey

Yeah, toast, oatmeal... nothing that spatters.

对，吐司，燕麦……不会溅出来的东西。

(A pause as they look at Chandler.)

（停顿，他们都看着钱德勒。）

Chandler

What are you looking at me for? I didn't know that.

看我干嘛？我毫不知情。

Barry

What's the matter?

怎么了？

Rachel

Oh, it's just... Oh, Barry, this was not good.

巴瑞，这样不好。

Barry

No, it was. It was very very good.

不，是非常非常好。

Rachel

Well, what about Mindy?

明蒂呢？

Barry

Oh, way, way better than Mindy.

我们干得比明蒂好多了。

Rachel

No, not that, I mean, what about you and Mindy?

不，我是指你和明蒂。

Barry

Well, if you want, I'll just---I'll just break it off with her.

如果你愿意我就和她分手。

Rachel

No. No-no-no-no, no. I mean, don't do that. Not, I mean not for me.

万万不行，别那样做。别为我那样做。

Bernice

(over intercom) Dr. Farber, Bobby Rush is here for his adjustment.

（对讲机）法大夫，巴比来做调整。

Barry

(into intercom) Thanks, Bernice. (To Rachel) Let's go away this weekend.

（对讲机）谢谢。（对瑞秋）我们周末去渡假。

Rachel

Oh, Barry..! Come on, this is all way too..

巴瑞，这样太……

Barry

We can, we can go to Aruba! When I went there on what would have been our honeymoon, it was, uh... it was really nice. You would've liked it.

不，或许我们可以去阿鲁巴。我在“蜜月”时去过了，感觉很棒，你一定会喜欢的。

(Pause as Rachel realises...)

（停顿，瑞秋意识到……）

Rachel

I had a bra.

我本来有穿胸罩。

(Barry finds it draped on a cupboard and gives it to Rachel, they kiss as Bobby enters.)

（巴瑞在柜子上找到并还给瑞秋，他们接吻时巴比进来。）

Bobby

Hey, Dr. Farber.

法大夫。

(Rachel and Barry quickly split and pretend Barry is examining Rachel's mouth.)

（瑞秋和巴瑞迅速分开，假装巴瑞在检查瑞秋的牙齿。）

Barry

All right Miss Green, everything looks fine... Yep, I think we're starting to see some real progress here.

格林小姐，看来一切正常。进步许多。

(Bobby looks on, deadpan.)

（巴比面无表情地看着。）

Rachel

What?!

干嘛？

Bobby

I'm twelve, I'm not stupid.

我十二岁了，我不笨。

(Rachel glares at him.)

（瑞秋瞪他。）

Chandler

Can I use your phone?

能借用你的电话吗？

Monica

Yeah.. uh, but for future reference, that thing in your hand can also be used as a phone.

可以，不过我指点你一下，你拿的那支也是电话。

(Chandler dials his own phone and it rings.)

（钱德勒拨自己的电话，铃响。）

Chandler

Yes, it's working! Why isn't she calling me back?

这电话没问题啊，她为何不回电？

Joey

Maybe she never got your message.

或许她没听到你的留言。

Phoebe

Y'know, if you want, you can call her machine, and if she has a lot of beeps, that means she probably didn't get her messages yet.

如果愿意你可以打给她的留言机，如果听见许多哔声，那代表她或许没听见留言。

Chandler

Y'don't think that makes me seem a little...

难道你不认为这样会使我感觉有点……

Ross

...desperate, needy, pathetic?

绝望，渴望，可悲？

Chandler

Ah, you obviously saw my personal ad.

你显然看过我的征友启事。

(He calls and quickly hangs up.)

（他打电话，很快挂断。）

Phoebe

How many beeps?

哔几声？

Chandler

She answered.

她接的。

Monica

Y'see, this is where you'd use that 'hello' word we talked about.

此时你该向她打招呼才对。

Chandler

I'm not gonna talk to her, she obviously got my message and is choosing not to call me. Now I'm needy and snubbed. God, I miss just being needy.

我不能跟她讲话，她显然听到我的留言而且选择不回电。我既渴望又被人冷落，我真想念纯渴望的滋味。

(Rachel enters.)

（瑞秋进来。）

All

Hey! Hi!

嘿！嗨！

Phoebe

How'd he take it?

他表现如何？

Rachel

Pretty well, actually... (Wandering into the kitchen.)

还不错。（走进厨房。）

Monica

(wandering in after her) Uh, Rach... how come you have dental floss in your hair?

（跟进去）瑞秋，你头发上为何有牙线？

Rachel

Oh, do I?

有吗？

Monica

Uh huh.

嗯。

Rachel

(in a low voice) We ended up having sex in his chair.

（低声）我们在他椅子上做爱。

Monica

You had sex in his chair?!... I said that a little too loudly, didn't I?

你们在他椅子上做爱？我是否说得太大声？

Ross

You-you had what?

你们什么？

Phoebe

Sex in his chair.

在他椅子上做爱。

Ross

What, uh... what were you thinking?

你到底在想什么？

Rachel

I don't know! I mean, we still care about each other. There's a history there. 'S'like you and Carol.

我也不知道。我们仍在乎对方，我们曾相爱过。就像你和卡萝一样。

Ross

No! No no, it is nothing like me and Carol!

不，不像我和卡萝。

Rachel

Please. If she said to you, "Ross, I want you on this couch, right here, right now," what would you say?

罗斯我要你躺在这沙发上，此时此地，你会怎么回答？

(Ross flounders.)

（罗斯不知所措。）

Chandler

If it helps, I could slide over.

如果需要我可以过去点。

Ross

It's, it's, it's, uh, a totally different situation! It's, it's apples and oranges, it's, it's orthodontists and lesbi- I gotta go.

这完全是两回事。这是苹果和橘子，牙医和女同志……我走了。

Phoebe

Where are you going?

你要上哪儿去？

Ross

(leaving) I just have to go, all right? Do I need a reason? Huh? I mean I have things to do with my life, I have a jam packed schedule, and I am late- for keeping up with it. Okay?

（离开）我就是要走，行吗？需要理由吗？我有自己的人生要过，我有许多事要做，我已经被某事给耽误了。

(Ross exits, a phone rings, and Chandler dives for his phone.)

（罗斯离开，电话铃响，钱德勒扑向他的电话。）

Chandler

Hello? Hello?

喂？喂？

(Rachel picks up their phone and the ringing stops. As she talks on the phone, an elaborate visual gag is spun out which is too difficult to describe in words.)

（瑞秋接起他们的电话，铃声停止。她打电话时，一段复杂的视觉笑料难以用文字描述。）

Rachel

(on phone) Hello? (Listens) Mindy! Hi! Hey, how are you? (Listens) Yes, yes, I've heard, congratulations, that is so great. (Listens) Really? (Listens) Oh. (Listens) Okay. Okay, well I'm working tomorrow, but if you want you can, you can, you can come by and... (Listens) Okay... (Listens) Great... (Listens) Great... (Listens) All right, so I'll, so I'll see you tomorrow! (Listens) Okay.. (Listens) Okay... (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up and sits down heavily.) Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.

（打电话）明蒂，你好！对，我听说了，恭喜。这真是太好了。真的？哦。好吧。我明天要上班，如果愿意可以到店里……太好了。明天见了。好。天呀 天呀 天呀。

Chandler

So how's Mindy?

明蒂好吗？

Rachel

Oh, she wants to see me tomorrow... Oh, she sounded really weird, I gotta call Barry... (Does so, on phone) Hi, it's me, I just.. Mindy!! Mindy! Hi! No, I figured that's where you'd be!

她明天想见我。她的语调好诡异，我得打电话给巴瑞……（打电话）是我，明蒂？嗨！不，我想你可能会在那儿。

Commercial Break

广告时间

Monica

Brrrrrrr!

铃！

(Chandler clutches at his phone before realising.)

（钱德勒在意识到之前抓住电话。）

Chandler

Hell is filled with people like you.

你这种人都该下地狱。

Joey

(entering) He's back! The peeper's back!

（进来）偷窥狂又出现了。

(Rachel enters from her room.)

（瑞秋从房间出来。）

Joey

(ducking) Get down!

（蹲下）蹲下！

Rachel

Get down?

蹲下？

Chandler

...And boogie!

接着跳舞。

Rachel

Thanks, but I gotta go to work and get my eyes scratched out by Mindy.

谢谢，我得去上班，接受明蒂的审判。

Monica

Relax. Y'know, she may not even know.

放轻松，或许她还不知道。

Rachel

Please. I haven't heard from her in seven months, and now she calls me? I mean, what else is it about? Oh! She was my best friend, you guys! We went to camp together... she taught me how to kiss..

拜托，我们七个月来没连络过，她突然打电话来还会有什么事呢？她曾是我最要好的朋友，我们一起去夏令营，她教我如何亲吻。

Joey

(intrigued) Yeah?

（感兴趣）是吗？

Rachel

And now, y'know, I'm like... I'm like the other woman! I feel so..

如今我像是成第三者，我感觉自己很……

Joey

..Naughty!

不守规矩？

Rachel

Right, I'll see you guys later...

回头见了。

Joey

Oh, hold up, I'll walk out with you. Now, Rach, when she taught you to kiss, you were at camp, and.. were you wearing any kinda little uniform, or-

等等，我和你一起出去。她在夏令营时教你亲吻，你穿着制服，或者……

(Rachel exits and slams the door in his face.)

（瑞秋离开，当着他的面摔门。）

Joey

That's fine, yeah...

没事了……

(Joey exits.)

（乔伊离开。）

Chandler

Okay, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Will you watch my phone?

我要上洗手间，帮我守着电话好吗？

Monica

Why don't you just take it with you?

你何不带进去？

Chandler

Hey, we haven't been on a second date, she needs to hear me pee?

我们还没第二次约会，她需要听到我尿尿的声音吗？

Monica

Why don't you just call her?

何不干脆打给她？

Chandler

I can't call her, I left a message! I have some pride.

我已留言，不能打给她。我有男性的尊严。

Monica

Do you?

你有吗？

Chandler

No! (Calls) Danielle, hi! It's, uh, it's Chandler! (Listens) I'm fine. Uh, listen, I don't know if you tried to call me, because, uh, idiot that I am, I accidentally shut off my phone. (Listens) Oh, uh, okay, that's fine, that's great. (Listens) Okay. (Puts down the phone.) (to Monica) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back. (He starts doing a little jig.) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back, she's on the other line, gonna call me back...

没有。（打电话）丹妮尔，我是钱德。我很好。我不知道你是否打过电话给我，因为我这个白痴不小心把电话关了。好，太好了。她正在讲电话，等一下会回我电话。（他开始跳一小段舞）她正在讲电话，等一下会回我电话……

Monica

Don't you have to pee?

你不想尿了？

Chandler

'S'why I'm dancing...

这就是我跳舞的原因。

Rachel

Mindy.

明蒂。

Mindy

Hey, you.

什么事？

Rachel

Hey, you... So, what's up?

那么……

Mindy

Um.. we should really be sitting for this.

我们需要坐下来谈谈。

Rachel

Sure we should... So.

当然啦，那么……

Mindy

Now, I know things've been weird lately, but you're like my oldest friend in the world... Except for maybe Laurie Schaffer, who I don't talk to anywhere, 'cause she's all bitter now that she lost the weight and it turns out she doesn't have a pretty face. ....Okay, I'm just gonna ask you this once, and I want a straight answer.

我感觉最近有点奇怪，你是我认识最久的朋友，除了萝瑞之外，我和她已没有往来。她虽已减肥成功脸蛋依然丑陋。我只问你一次而且你要爽快的回答。

Rachel

Okay.

好。

Mindy

Will you be my maid of honour?

愿意当我的伴娘吗？

Rachel

Of course!

当然！

Mindy

Oh that's so great!

太好了！

Rachel

Was that all you wanted to ask me?

你只想问我这件事？

Mindy

That's all!

对，就这样！

Rachel

Ohhhh!! (Mindy starts to sob.) ...What? What?

哦！（明蒂开始抽泣）怎么了？

Mindy

That's not all.

不，不只这样。

Rachel

Oh sure it is!

当然。

Mindy

Oh no, it isn't! No! I think Barry is seeing someone in the city.

我认为巴瑞有其他的女人。

Rachel

Um, what- what would make you think that?

你怎会这样想？

Mindy

Well, ever since we announced the engagement, he's been acting really weird, and then last night, he came home smelling like Chanel.

宣布订婚后他就变了样，昨晚他回家时有香奈儿的味道。

Rachel

(draws back) Really. Mindy, if it'll make you feel any better, when I was engaged to him he went through a whole weird thing too.

（后退）真的？如果这样能让你好过点，我和巴瑞订婚时他也变了样。

Mindy

Oh God! You see, that's what I was afraid of!

瞧，这就是我最担心的。

Rachel

What? What's what you were afraid of?

什么？你担心什么？

Mindy

Okay, okay... when Barry was engaged to you, he and I...kind of... had a little thing on the side.

巴瑞和你订婚时，我跟他正在偷偷恋爱。

Rachel

What?

什么？

Mindy

I know. I know, and when he proposed to me, everyone said "Don't do it, he's just gonna do to you what he did to Rachel," and now I feel so stupid.

我知道，他向我求婚时，每个人都劝我别接受“他会待你像瑞秋一样”，如今我只觉得自己好笨。

Rachel

Uh... Oh, Mindy, you are so stupid. Oh, we are both so stupid.

明蒂，你真笨。我们两人都笨。

Mindy

What do you mean?

什么意思？

Rachel

(offers her arm to Mindy and she sniffs) Smell familiar?

（伸出手臂让明蒂闻）是不是熟悉的味道？

Mindy

Oh no.

抱歉……

Rachel

Oh, I am so sorry.

不，是我抱歉……

Mindy

No me, I am so sorry...

不,是我抱歉……

(They hug and Joey enters.)

（她们拥抱，乔伊进来。）

Joey

(watches them for a while) Oh my.

（看了一会儿）哦。

Ross

Four letters: "Circle or hoop".

四个字母，圈圈或圆圈。

Chandler

Ring dammit, ring!

快响呀，该死的，快响呀。

Ross

Thanks.

谢啦。

Joey

(entering) Hey, you know our phone's not working?

（进来）我们的电话坏了？

Chandler

What?!

什么？

Joey

I tried to call you from the coffee shop, and there was no answer.

我从咖啡店打给你没有应答。

Chandler

(investigating) I turned it off. Mother of God, I turned it off!

（检查）我关机了。天啊，我关机了！

Monica

Just like you told her you did! (Chandler glares at her.) ... Just pointing out the irony.

和你告诉她的一样！（钱德勒瞪她）真是讽刺。

Joey

Hey, so listen, I went across the street and talked to the doorman- I got the peeper's name! Can I use the phone?

我和对街门房谈过了，他告诉我那偷窥狂的名字。电话能借用吗？

Chandler

Nngghhh!!!!!!!

啊！！！

Joey

(to Monica) Can I use your phone? (On phone) Yeah, the number for a Sidney Marks, please.

（对莫妮卡）电话能借用吗？（打电话）请帮我查辛尼马克斯的电话。

Ross

"Heating device."

热装置？

Phoebe

Radiator.

散热器。

Ross

Five letters.

五个字母。

Phoebe

Rdtor.

是辛尼吗？

Joey

(on phone) Yeah, is Sidney there? (Listens) Oh, this is? (To the gang) Sidney's a woman.

（打电话）辛尼在吗？哦，是女的？辛尼是个女的。

Monica

So she's a woman! So what?

是女的又怎样？

Joey

Yeah. Yeah, so what? (On phone) Look, I live across the street, (walking to the window) and I know all about you and your little telescope, and I don't appreciate it, okay? (Listens) Yeah, I can see you right now! (Listens) Hello! (Listens) If I wanna walk around my apartment in my underwear, I shouldn't have to feel like---(Listens)---Thank you, but... that's not really the point... (Listens) The point is that... (Listens) Mostly free weights, but occasionally..

对，那又怎样？（打电话）我住在对街，我注意到你拿着望远镜，而且我很不喜欢你这样。（听）我现在就看的见你。（听）如果我要穿着内裤在室内走，我无须感觉……谢谢。（听）那不是重点。（听）重点是……大部份时间无所谓，但是偶尔……

Monica

Joey!!

乔伊！

Joey

(on phone) Yeah, my neighbor... (Listens) Yeah, the brunette... (to Monica) She says you looked very pretty the other day in the green dress.

（打电话）对，我邻居……对，黑褐色头发……（对莫妮卡）她说你穿绿色套装很好看。

Monica

The green dress? Really?

绿色套装？真的？

Joey

Yeah, she said you looked like Ingrid Bergman that day.

对，她说你像英格丽·褒曼。

Monica

(waves dismissively to Sidney) Nooo!

（朝辛尼挥手）少来啦！

Rachel

Hey. Got a second?

有时间吗？

Barry

Sure, sure. Come on... (Mindy enters) ...in...

进来呀。（明蒂进来）亲爱的。

Mindy

Hello, sweetheart.

你们来干什么？

Barry

Uh... uh... what're'you... what're'you guys doing here?

你们来干什么？

Rachel

Uh, we are here to break up with you.

我们是来和你分手的。

Barry

Both of you?

你们两个？

Mindy

Basically, we think you're a horrible human being, and bad things should happen to you.

基本上我们认为你是个大烂人，你该遭到天打雷劈。

Barry

I'm sorry... I'm sorry, God, I am so sorry, I'm an idiot, I was weak, I couldn't help myself! Whatever I did, I only did because I love you so much!

对不起……我是个白痴，我是个懦夫，我无法自拔。不管我做什么都是因为太爱你了。

Rachel

Uh- which one of us are you talking to there, Barr?

巴瑞，你是指哪一个？

Barry

....Mindy. Mindy, of course Mindy, it was always Mindy.

明蒂，当然是指明蒂。

Rachel

Even when we were having sex in that chair?

即使我们在你椅上做爱？

Barry

(to Mindy) I swear, whatever I was doing, I was always thinking of you.

（对明蒂）我发誓，不论我做什么我想的都是你。

Rachel

Please! During that second time you couldn't have picked her out of a lineup!

拜托，第二回合时你连她姓啥都忘了。

Mindy

(to Rachel) You did it twice?

（对瑞秋）你们做了两次？

Rachel

Well, the first time didn't really count... I mean, y'know, 's'Barry.

第一次不算，你了解巴瑞的。

Mindy

Okay...

我懂。

Barry

(to Mindy) Sweetheart, just gimme- gimme another chance, okay, we'll start all over again. We'll go back to Aruba.

（对明蒂）明蒂，我亲爱的，再给我一次机会，我们再重新来过，我们再到阿鲁巴去。

Bernice

(over intercom) Dr. Farber, we've got a bit of an emergency here...Jason Costalano is choking on his retainer.

（对讲机）法大夫，紧急状况。强森被自己的牙套噎到了。

Barry

Oh God... (Into intercom) I'll be right there, Bernice. (to Mindy) Look, please, please don't go anywhere, okay? I'll be, I'll be right back.

（对讲机）拜托，我马上去。（对明蒂）请别离开，我马上回来。

(Barry exits)

（巴瑞离开。）

Rachel

Okay. Okay, we'll be here! Hating you! Did you see how he was sweating when he walked out of there? Listen honey, if I'm hogging the ball too much you just jump right in there and take a couple punches because I'm telling you, this feels great.

我们会在这儿的。在这儿恨你！看见他走出去时满身大汗没？这样吧，我去抓住他，然后你狠狠打他几拳，那感觉一定很爽。

Mindy

Yeah... I'm pretty sure I'm still gonna marry him.

是吗？我还是想嫁给他。

Rachel

What are you talking about?!

你在说什么？

Mindy

Look, I know he's not perfect, but the truth is, at the end of the day, I still really wanna be Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber, D.D.S.

那家伙是个恶魔，是个衣冠禽兽。我知道他并不完美，老实说我还是想当个医生夫人。

Rachel

Oh God.

我的天。

Mindy

I hope you can find some way to be happy for me. And I hope you'll still be my maid of honor...?

希望你能为我高兴，我希望你还愿意当我的伴娘。

Rachel

And I hope Barry doesn't kill you and eat you in Aruba.

我希望巴瑞在阿鲁巴不会将你宰了然后吃掉。

Monica

You okay?

你还好吗？

Rachel

Yeah.

是的。

Monica

Really?

真的？

Rachel

Yeah! Y'know, ever since I ran out on Barry at the wedding, I have wondered whether I made the right choice. And now I know.

真的。自从我在婚礼上抛下巴瑞，我一直在想这决定是否正确，如今我已得到答案。

Monica

Aww... (They hug)

哦……（她们拥抱）

(Joey enters and looks on approvingly.)

（乔伊进来，赞许地看着。）

Joey

Big day.

好日子啊。

Closing Credits

片尾

Joey

All right, I'll give you this, Mr. Peanut is a better dresser. I mean he's got the monocle, he's got the top hat...

告诉你花生先生的穿着比较讲究，他有单片眼镜，高帽。

Phoebe

You know he's gay?

你知道他是个男同志吗？

Ross

I just wanna clarify this: are you outing Mr. Peanut?

我只想知道你判花生先生出局了？

Danielle

(entering) Chandler?

（进来）钱德？

Chandler

Danielle! Hi! Uh- everybody, this is Danielle, Danielle, everybody.

丹妮尔，你好。各位，这是丹妮尔，丹妮尔，这是大家。

All

Hi. Hi.

嗨，嗨。

Chandler

What are you doing here?

你为何会出现在这儿？

Danielle

Well, I've been calling you, but it turns out I had your number wrong. And when I finally got the right one from Information, there was no answer. So I thought I'd just come down here, and make sure you were okay.

我一直打电话给你都一直打错号码，最后问查号台知道你的号码，却没人接电话。我想来看看你是否无恙。

Chandler

...I'm, I'm okay.

我没事。

Danielle

Listen uh, maybe we could get together later?

或许我们改天可以见个面。

Chandler

That sounds good. I'll call you- or you call me, whatever...

这主意不错，我再打给你，或是你打给我，怎么都可以。

Danielle

You got it.

一言为定。

Chandler

Okay.

好。

Danielle

G'bye, everybody.

再见了，各位。

All

Bye.

再见。

Phoebe

Whoo-hoo!

真棒！

Monica

Yeah, there you go!

太好了！

Ross

Second date!

第二次约会？

Chandler

...I dunno.

我不知道。

Rachel

You don't know?!

你不知道？

Chandler

Well, she seems very nice and everything, but that whole thing about her coming all the way down here, just to see if I was okay? I mean,... how needy is that?

她好像很不错，她大老远来这儿只想确定我没事，有这必要吗？

(They all groan and hit him..)

（大家都呻吟着打他……）

End

剧终