The One Where the Monkey Gets Away

Rachel

Okay, okay, I checked. We have: Earl Grey, English Breakfast, Cinnamon Stick, Camomile, Mint Medley, Blackberry, and.. oh, wait, there's one more, um.. Lemon Soother. You're not the guy that asked for the tea, are you? (Guy shakes his head) Okay.

我刚看过了。我们有伯爵茶，英式早餐茶，肉桂茶，菊花茶，薄荷茶，黑莓茶，还有，让我想一下，哦……柠檬派。你不是那个要喝茶的人对吧？（男人摇头）好吧。

Opening Credits

片头

Monica

Mail call, Rachel Green, bunk seven.

瑞秋，你有信。

Rachel

Thank you. (Examines it) Oh, cool! Free sample of coffee!

谢谢。（查看）酷，免费试喝的咖啡！

Monica

Oh good! 'Cause where else would we get any?

太好了。因为在哪儿还有免费的咖啡？

Rachel

Oh. Right. ...Oh great.

太好了。

Monica

What is it?

那是什么？

Rachel

Country club newsletter. My mother sends me the engagement notices for 'inspiration.' Oh my God! Oh my God, it's Barry and Mindy!

乡村俱乐部的每日公报。我妈寄来通知有人要订婚了。噢，我的天！是巴瑞和明蒂！

Monica

Barry who you almost...?

巴瑞，你几乎……

Rachel

Barry who I almost.

巴瑞，我几乎……

Monica

And Mindy, your maid of...?

明蒂，你的伴娘……？

Rachel

Mindy, my maid of. Oh!

明蒂，我的伴娘。噢！

Monica

(Takes it) That's Mindy? Wow, she is pretty. (Sees Rachel's look) Lucky. To have had a friend like you.

（接过）那是明蒂？真漂亮。（看到瑞秋的表情）她真幸运……有你这样的朋友。

Ross

Marcel. Bring me the rice, c'mon. Bring me the rice, c'mon. Good boy. Good boy. C'mere, gimme the rice. (Marcel brings the rice) Thank you, good boy. Well, I see he's finally mastered the difference between 'bring me the' and 'pee in the'. (Rachel ignores him) 'Bring me the' and- Rach?

马修，拿饭给我，快……拿饭给我，快……真乖，谢谢。他终于能分辨“拿来”和“尿在”的差别了。（瑞秋不理他）“拿来”和——瑞秋？

Rachel

What?

怎么啦？

Ross

Hi.

嗨。

Rachel

Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, this is so stupid! I mean, I gave Barry up, right? I should be happy for them! I am, I'm happy for them.

抱歉，我真是太笨了。是我不要巴瑞的，我应该为他们高兴。我真为他们高兴。

Ross

Really.

真的？

Rachel

No. Oh, oh, I guess it would be different if I were- with somebody.

不。如果我和别人在一起就不同了。

Ross

Whoah, uh, what happened to, uh, 'Forget relationships! I'm done with men!' The whole, uh, penis embargo?

你不是说要忘了那段感情，不再和男人在一起？厌恶男人吗？

Rachel

Oh, I don't know. I guess it's not about no guys, it's about the right guy, y'know? I mean, with Barry, it was safe and it was easy, but there was no heat. With Paolo, that's all there was, was heat! And it was just this raw, animal, sexual...

我不知道。我想这不是没有男人的问题，而是合适男人的问题。和巴瑞在一起安全自在，没有激情。和保罗在一起就充满激情，如野兽般原始的性爱……

Ross

Wait-wait. I, I got it. I was there.

好了，我懂，我看过你们两个在一起的样子。

Rachel

Well, I mean, do you think you can ever have both? Y'know? Someone who's like, who's like your best friend, but then also can make your toes curl?

你认为我能两者同时拥有吗？找到一个能当知己，又能让我感受到激情的人？

Ross

Yes. Yes. Yes! Yes, I really do! In fact, it's funny, very often, someone who you wouldn't think could-could curl your toes, might just be the one who...

是呀，我也这么认为。其实说来好笑，时常你认为无法让你感受到激情的人，却是……

(Enter the other four)

（其他四人进来。）

Monica

Hi.

嗨。

Ross

...Gets interrupted. Hi!

……被打断了。嗨！

Rachel

Hi, how was the movie?

电影如何？

Monica

Wonderful!

很不错。

Phoebe

So good!

很不错。

Joey

Suck-fest.

逊毙了。

Chandler

Toootal chick-flick.

根本是小妞们看的嘛。

Phoebe

I-I'm sorry it wasn't one of those movies with, like, y'know, guns and bombs and, like, buses going really fast...

真遗憾这不是枪林弹雨、公车速度奇快的那种电影。

Joey

Hey, I don't need violence to enjoy a movie. Just so long as there's a little nudity.

暴力并不能吸引我，只要有裸体镜头我就满足了。

Monica

There was nudity!

那电影也有裸体镜头。

Joey

I meant female nudity. Alright? I don't need to see Lou Grant frolicking.

我是指女生的裸体镜头。我不爱看卢葛兰的春宫。

Monica and Phoebe

Hugh! Hugh Grant!

休葛兰！

Ross

Alright, I've gotta go. C'mon, Marcel! C'mon! We're gonna go take a bath. Yes we are, aren't we? Yes, we are.

我得走了。走吧，马修，快！我们去洗澡。对不对？

Chandler

They're still just friends, right?

他们只是朋友吗？

Rachel

(To Marcel) And I will see you tomorrow!

（对马修）明天见！

Ross

That's right, you're gonna spend tomorrow at Aunt Rachel's, aren't you.

对，你明天要到瑞秋阿姨家。

Monica

Oh, hang on, hang on. Does Aunt Monica get a say in this?

等等，摩阿姨能说句话吗？

Ross

'Pwease, Aunt Monica, pwease?' Oh, unclench. You're not even gonna be there.

“摩阿姨请说”？别紧张了，你不会在这儿的。

Chandler

I can't believe we are even having this discussion.

我无法相信我们竟在讨论此事。

Joey

I agree. I'm, like, in disbelief.

我同意，我也无法相信。

Chandler

I mean, don't you think if things were gonna happen with Rachel, they would've happened already?

你不认为如果你和瑞秋会情投意合的话，还会一直拖到现在吗？

Ross

I'm telling you, she said she's looking for a relationship with someone exactly like me.

告诉你，她说她在寻找像我这样的人。

Joey

She really said that?

她真的这样说？

Ross

Well, I added the 'exactly like me' part... But she said she's looking for someone, and someone is gonna be there tonight.

“像我这样”是我自己加的。她说她在寻找某人，而此人今晚就会出现。

Joey

'Tonight' tonight?

今天晚上？

Ross

Well, I think it's perfect. Y'know, it's just gonna be the two of us, she spent all day taking care of my monkey...

这样最好不过了。因为只有我们两个，她整天都在照顾我的猴子……

Chandler

I can't remember the last time I got a girl to take care of my monkey.

我早已忘记哪个女人照顾过我的猴子。

Ross

Anyway, I figured after work I'd go pick up a bottle of wine, go over there and, uh, try to woo her.

总之下班后我要去买瓶酒，去向她“示爱”。

Chandler

Hey, y'know what you should do? You should take her back to the 1890's, when that phrase was last used.

知道你该怎么做吗？带她回到用“示爱”的十九世纪去。

Rachel

Now, now the one in the feather boa, that's Dr. Francis. Now, she used to be a man. Okay, now look, see, there's Raven. We hate her. We're glad she's dying. Okay- (Marcel pushes down a cushion to reveal a shoe) Wh- wh- Marcel, are you playing with Monica's shoes? You know you're not supposed to pl- whoah. Marcel, did you poo in the shoe? (Takes the shoe into the kitchen) Marcel, bad monkey! Oh! Oh! (She notices the newsletter and taps the contents of the shoes onto it, then folds it shut) Sorry, Barry. Little engagement gift. I'm sure you didn't register for that. (She leaves the apartment holding the newsletter at arm's length. However, she leaves the door open. Marcel runs out in the opposite direction. There is a shot from the TV and Rachel runs back in) Who died? Who died? Roll him over! Oh, c'mon, roll him over! Oh...! Well, we know it wasn't Dexter, right Marcel? Because- (Looks down and notices he is missing) Marcel? Marc- (Notices the open door)

围羽毛围巾的是法博土。她曾是个男人。出现了蕾文，我们讨厌她，真高兴她就快死了。什么？马修，想玩摩妮卡的鞋吗？你不能玩……马修，你在鞋里大便？天啊，坏猴子。抱歉，巴瑞，订婚礼物。我相信你没登记。（她捏着鼻子拿着信离开公寓，却忘了关门。马修从反方向跑出去。电视传来一声枪响，瑞秋跑回来）谁死了？翻过去！不是崔斯勒，马修？因为……马修？马……

Joey

How could you lose him?

你怎会把它弄丢了呢？

Rachel

I don't know. We were watching TV, and then he pooped in Monica's shoe-

我正在看电视，它在摩妮卡的鞋内大便……

Monica

Wait. He pooped in my shoe? Which one?

它在我的鞋里大便？哪一双？

Rachel

I don't know. The left one.

我不知道，左脚。

Monica

Which ones?

哪一双？

Rachel

Oh. Oh, those little clunky Amish things you think go with everything.

搭配什么都好看的阿米许鞋。

Phoebe

(Entering) Hey.

（进来）嘿。

All

Hi.

嗨。

Phoebe

Whoah, ooh, why is the air in here so negative?

为何一片愁云惨雾？

Chandler

Rachel lost Marcel.

瑞秋把马修弄丢了。

Phoebe

Oh no, how?

不会吧，怎么丢的？

Monica

He- he pooped in my shoe.

它在我鞋里大便。

Phoebe

Which one?

哪个？

Monica

Those cute little black ones I wear all the time.

我常穿的那只黑鞋。

Phoebe

No, which one? The right or left? 'Cause the left one is lucky...

是哪一只？左脚还右脚？因为左脚是幸运鞋……

Rachel

C'mon, you guys, what're we gonna do, what're we gonna do?

大家快想办法，我们该怎么办？

Joey

Alright alright. You're a monkey. You're loose in the city. Where do you go?

有了，如果你是只猴子，迷失在大城市时，你会去哪儿？

Chandler

Okay, it's his first time out, so he's probably gonna wanna do some of the touristy things. I'll go to Cats, you go to the Russian Tea Room.

这是它第一次出门，所以大概和一般游客一样。我去百老汇找，你去俄罗斯茶坊。

Rachel

Oh, my, God, c'mon, you guys! He's gonna be home any minute! He's gonna kill me!

别再闹了，他马上就会回家，他不会饶过我的！

Monica

Okay, we'll start with the building. You guys take the first and second floor, Phoebe and I'll take third and fourth.

我们从这栋公寓开始找起。你们找一楼和二楼，菲比和我找三楼和四楼。

Rachel

Well, what'm I gonna do? What'm I gonna do?

我该怎么办？我该怎么办？

Monica

Okay, you stay here, and just wait by the phone. Spray Lysol in my shoe, and wait for Ross to kill you.

你留在家里等电话，在我鞋内喷芳香剂，顺便等罗斯回来杀你。

(They all leave)

（他们都走了。）

Rachel

Anybody wanna trade? Oh...

有人要交换吗？哦……

Mr. Heckles

Whaddyou want?

干嘛？

Monica

Mr. Heckles, our friend lost a monkey. Have you seen it?

哈先生，我们朋友遗失了一只猴子，你有看见吗？

Mr. Heckles

I left a Belgian waffle out here, did you take it?

我放了威化饼在这儿，是不是你拿了？

Monica

No!

不！

Phoebe

Why would you leave your Belgian waffle in the hall?

你怎会放威化饼在走廊？

Mr. Heckles

I wasn't ready for it.

我还不想吃。

Monica

A monkey. Have you seen a monkey?

你有看见猴子吗？

Mr. Heckles

Saw Regis Philbin once...

我见到过一次“理吉斯菲邦”（著名电视节目主持人）。

Phoebe

Okay, thank you, Mr. Heckles. (They move off)

谢谢你，哈先生。（他们走开）

Mr. Heckles

You owe me a waffle.

你们欠我威化饼。

Rachel

(On the phone) Okay, he's a, he's a black capuchian monkey with a white face... (Enter Ross) ...with, with Russian dressing and, and pickles on the side. Okay. Thanks.

（打电话）他是一只白脸的黑卷尾猴……加俄国酱外加腌黄瓜。好，谢谢。

Ross

Hey. How did, uh, how'd it go today?

嘿，今天过得如何？

Rachel

Great! It went great. Really great. Hey, is that wine?

很好啊！真的很不错。那是酒吗？

Ross

Yeah. You, uh, you want some?

是的，想喝吗？

Rachel

Oh, I would love some. But y'know what? Y'know what? Let's not drink it here. I'm feeling kinda crazy. You wanna go to Newark?

可是我们别在这儿喝。我感觉有点疯狂，我们去纽华克好吗？

Ross

Uh, okay, yeah, we could do that, but before we head off to the murder capital of the North-East, I was, uh, kinda wanting to run something by you. Y'know how we were, uh, y'know, talking before about, uh, relationships and stuff? (Uncorks the wine) Well-

什么？当然可以去。前往这东北犯罪首府之前，我有些话想说。我们曾谈过感情的问题。（开酒）好——

Rachel

Oh God, Ross, I cannot do this.

罗斯，我受不了了。

Ross

Okay, quick and painful. (Starts to cork the wine)

你回绝得倒是很快嘛。（开始塞木塞）

Rachel

Oh God... Okay. Alright. Alright. Okay. Ross, please don't hate me.

好吧，罗斯，别恨我。

Ross

Oh, what? What-what?

到底是什么？

Rachel

Y'know Marcel?

马修它……

Ross

...Yeah?

嗯？

Rachel

Well, I kind of... I kind of lost him.

我把它……弄丢了。

Commercial Break

广告时间

Ross

(Angry) I- I- I ca- I can't believe this. I mean, all I asked you to do was keep him in the apartment.

（生气）我真不敢相信。我只是麻烦你别让它跑出去。

Rachel

I know, I know, I'm sorry-

我知道，对不起——

Ross

No, y'know what, I guess it's partially my fault. Y'know, I shouldn't've, uh, asked you to start off with a monkey. I should've started you off with like a pen or a pencil.

不，我该负一半的责任。我不该叫你照顾猴子，应该叫你照顾笔才对。

Rachel

(Tearfully) Ross, I'm doing everything that I can, I've got everybody looking for him, and I- (Door buzzer goes and she runs to get it) Oh! Who is it?

（含泪）罗斯，我已尽最大的努力，我已叫大家分头去找，我——哦！是谁？

Intercom

Animal Control.

动物控制中心。

Rachel

See? I've even called Animal Control!

瞧，我甚至打给动物控制中心。

Ross

You called Animal Control?

你打给动物控制中心？

Rachel

Uh-huh... why... do you not like them?

怎么了？你不喜欢他们？

Ross

Marcel is an illegal exotic animal. I'm not allowed to have him in the city. If they find him, they'll take him away from me.

马修是非法的外来动物，我是非法饲养。万一被他们找到他们就会带走它。

Rachel

O-okay, now see, you never ever ever told us that...

你从来就没有告诉大家……

Ross

That's right, I.. 'cause I didn't expect you were gonna invite them to the apartment!

没错，因为我没想到你会请他们来！

(A knock on the door. Rachel swiftly opens it)

（敲门声。瑞秋迅速开门。）

Rachel

Hi, thanks for coming.

谢谢你来。

Luisa

(Animal Control) Somebody called about a monkey?

（动物控制中心）有人遗失猴子？

Rachel

Oh, y'know what? That was a complete misunderstanding! (Ross puts his arms around her and they act all sweetness and light)

对，这是个误会。（罗斯搂着她，他们装出甜蜜的样子）

Ross

Yeah, we thought we had a monkey, but we-we didn't.

我以为我们有养猴子，但是我们没有。

Rachel

Turned out it was a hat.

结果是帽子。

Ross

Cat!

猫！

Rachel

Cat! What'm I saying? Cat!

猫，我刚说什么？猫！

(Luisa nods, but then Monica and Phoebe run in)

（路易莎点头，但莫妮卡和菲比跑进来。）

Monica

Hi. We checked the third and fourth floor, no-one's seen Marcel.

我们问过三楼和四楼，没人看见马修。

Luisa

Marcel?

马修？

Ross

My uncle Marcel.

我叔叔马修。

Phoebe

Oh, is that who the monkey's named after?

那猴子是以你叔叔命名？

Luisa

Oookay. Are you aware that possession of an illegal exotic is, uh, punishable by up to two years in prison and confiscation of the animal?

你知道持有非法外来动物可判刑两年并没收动物？

Phoebe

Oh my God. You'd put that poor little creature in jail?

天啊，你要把猴子关进监牢？

Monica

Pheebs, you remember how we talked about saying things quietly to yourself first?

菲比，你记得如何先对自己小声说吗？

Phoebe

Yes, but there isn't always time!

记得，但总不是时候。

Monica

Look. I'm sure there's some friendly way to reconcile this! Um, have a seat. First of all, we haven't been introduced, I'm Monica Geller.

我相信我们能以友善的处理方式。请坐。首先，我们还没自己介绍，我叫摩妮卡。

Luisa

Oh my God, you are! And you're Rachel Green!

天啊，你是莫尼卡！还有，你是瑞秋对吗？

Rachel

Yeah!

没错！

Luisa

Luisa Gianetti! Lincoln High? I sat behind you guys in home room!

露莎·吉安内蒂！林肯高中？我坐在你们后面！

Rachel

Luisa? Oh my God! Monica! It's Luisa!

露莎？天啊！莫妮卡，是露莎！

Monica

The Luisa from home room!

是后面那个？

Rachel

Yes!!

没错！

Luisa

You have no idea who I am, do you.

你们根本不知道我是谁对不？

Monica

No, none at all.

不，一点也不。

Rachel

None.

不。

Luisa

Well, maybe that's because you spent four years ignoring me. I mean, would it have been so hard to say 'Morning, Luisa'? Or 'Nice overalls'?

或许你们那四年都在当我不存在。难道说“早安，露莎”或“好漂亮的连身裤”有那么困难吗？

Monica

Oh, I'm- I'm so sorry!

对不起！

Luisa

Ah, it's not so much you, you were fat, you had your own problems. (To Rachel) But you? What a bitch!

我不怪你，你当时很胖，你有自己的烦恼。（对瑞秋）可是你实在是个贱货！

Rachel

What?!

什么？！

Monica

Be that as it may, d'you think you could just help us out here on that monkey thing? Y'know, just for old times' sake? Go Bobcats?

别计较了。你真认为你能帮我们找猴子？看在过去的份上？帮我们找。

Luisa

I could... but I won't. If I find that monkey, he's mine. (Leaves)

我可以，我不。找到猴子后它就是我的了。（离开）

Phoebe

Dun-dun-duuuur! Sorry.

抱歉。

Chandler

Marcel?

马修？

Joey

Marcel?

马修？

Chandler

Marcel?

马修？

Joey

Marcel?

马修？

(They come to a door and silently agree to try it. A very sweaty woman emerges)

（他们来到一扇门前，默默同意试试。一个满身大汗的女人出来。）

Woman No. 1: Hi, can I help you?

女人1：需要帮忙吗？

(Chandler and Joey are dumbstruck for a moment)

（钱德勒和乔伊愣了一会儿。）

Chandler

Um, we're kind of having an emergency and we-we were looking for something...

我们有急事，我们在找东西……

Joey

A monkey.

猴子。

Chandler

Yes have you seen any?

对，你有看见吗？

Woman No. 1: No. No, haven't seen a monkey. Do you know anything about fixing radiators?

女人1：我没看见猴子。你知道如何修理散热器吗？

Joey

Um, sure! Did you, uh, did you try turning the knob back the other way?

当然。你试过将转钮转回去吗？

Woman No. 1: Of course.

女人1：当然。

Joey

Oh. Then, no.

那我就不知道了。

(Another sweaty woman comes to the door and speaks to her friend)

（另一个满身大汗的女人过来和朋友说话。）

Woman No. 2: Did I put too much rum in here?

女人2：试试这个是不是加太多兰姆酒了？

(Joey and Chandler shoot each other glances)

（乔伊和钱德勒对视。）

Woman No. 1: Just a sec. (To Chandler and Joey) Hope you find your monkey. (She starts to shut the door)

女人1：等等。（对钱德勒和乔伊）希望你们能找到猴子。（准备关门）

Chandler

Oh, nononowaitwaitwaitnono! Uh... we may not know anything about radiators per se, but we do have a certain amount of expertise in the heating and cooling... mileu.

不，等等。我们对散热器或许不太懂，我们可是冷暖环境的专家。

Joey

Uh, aren't we kind of in the middle of something here?

我们不是正在忙吗？

Chandler

Yes, but these women are very hot, and they need our help! And they're very hot.

对，她们很热而且需要帮助，而且很火辣。

Joey

We can't, alright? (To the women) We're sorry. You have no idea how sorry, but... We promised we'd find this monkey. If you see him, he's about yea high and answers to the name Marcel, so if we could get some pictures of you, you'd really be helping us out.

我们不行。（对女人）抱歉你们不知道我们有多抱歉。我们答应人家要找猴子，如果你们看见它，它约这么高，名叫马修。如果能拥有你们的照片，就算是帮了大忙。

(The women quickly shut the door)

（女人们迅速关门。）

Chandler

Okay, from now on, you don't get to talk to other people.

从现在起不准你和其他人讲话。

Joey

Marcel?

马修？

Chandler

Marcel?!

马修？

Phoebe

Marcel?

马修？

Monica

Marcel?

马修？

Phoebe

Marcel?

马修？

Both

Marcel?

马修？

Phoebe

Oh-my-God!

噢，我的天！

Monica

Whaaat!

什么！

Phoebe

Something just brushed up against my right leg!

有东西碰到我的右脚！

Monica

What is it?

是什么？

Phoebe

Oh, it's okay, it was just my left leg.

没什么，是我的左脚。

(Marcel makes a monkeyish noise. He is sitting in the corner)

（马修发出猴子叫声。他坐在角落里。）

Monica

Look, Phoebe!

看，菲比！

Phoebe

Yeah! Oh, c'mere, Marcel! Oh, Marcel, c'mere!

马修，过来……

(Luisa appears on the stairs)

（路易莎出现在楼梯上。）

Luisa

Step aside, ladies! (She loads a gun)

站过去，两位小姐！（她装弹）

Monica

What're you gonna do?

你要干什么？

Luisa

Just a small tranquiliser.

打镇定剂。

(In slow motion we see Phoebe look at Marcel, then at Luisa. She jumps toward Marcel just as Luisa fires the gun.)

菲比看看马修，又看看路易莎。她朝马修扑过去，路易莎开了枪。）

Monica

Run, Marcel, run! Run, Marcel! (Marcel runs off and Luisa runs after him. Monica goes to check up on Phoebe) Are you okay?

快跑，马修，快跑！（马修跑开，路易莎追上去。莫妮卡去查看菲比）你还好吧？

Phoebe

Yeah, think so. Oh! (She notices the tranquiliser dart has hit her in the butt and removes it) Huh. (Sways back) Whoah.

还行。哦！（她注意到镇定剂镖打在屁股上，拔掉）哇（摇晃）哦。

Monica

Oh gosh.

哦，天哪。

Ross

Marcel?

马修？

Rachel

Marcel?

马修？

Ross

Marc- oh, this is ridiculous! We've been all over the neighbourhood. He's gone, he's-he's just gone.

马——噢，这简直是太荒谬了！我们到处都找遍了，它不见了，就这么消失了。

Rachel

Ross, you don't know that.

罗斯，还不一定。

Ross

Oh come on. It's cold, it's dark, he doesn't know the Village. (Kicks a sign in frustration) And now I have a broken foot. I have no monkey, and a broken foot! Thank you very much.

拜托，天气好冷天又黑，它根本不认识路。（沮丧地踢标志牌）现在我的脚又受伤了。猴子换来受伤的脚，真的感谢你。

Rachel

Ross, I said I'm sorry like a million times. What do you want me to do? You want me to break my foot too? Okay, I'm gonna break my foot, right here. (Kicks the sign) Ow!! Oh! Oh my God, oh my God! There, are you happy now?!

罗斯，我已向你道歉过无数次，你到底要我怎么样？你也要我的脚受伤？好，我就在这儿踢伤我的脚。（踢标志牌）噢！天啊！瞧，高兴了吧？！

Ross

Yeah, yeah. Y'know, now that you kicked the sign, hey! I don't miss Marcel any more!

对，你踢完路标后，我突然不再想念马修了！

Rachel

Y'know, it is not like I did this on purpose.

我真的不是故意的。

Ross

Oh, no no no. Nono, this is just vintage Rachel. I mean, things just sort of happen around you. I mean, you're off in Rachel-land, doing your Rachel-thing, totally oblivious to people's monkeys, or to people's feelings...

当然，这是典型的瑞秋。这种事常发生在你身上，你活在自己的世界中，完全无视于别人的猴子，或是别人的感觉……

Rachel

Ross.

罗斯。

Ross

I don't even wanna hear it, you're just...

我不想听。

Rachel

Ross.

罗斯。

Ross

Oh, forget it, okay?

算了。

Rachel

Ross!

罗斯！

Ross

What? What?

什么？什么？

(A man carrying a box of bananas walks past them. They stare for a minute and then hobble after him)

（一个男人抱着一箱香蕉从他们身边走过。他们盯了一会儿，然后一瘸一拐地跟上去。）

Both

Hey! Hey, Bananaman!

嘿！搬香蕉的！

(Scene 4: Everyone in the hall outside Mr. Heckles' door. Ross is carrying the box of bananas. He bangs on the door)

（场景4：大家站在赫克尔斯先生门外的走廊上。罗斯抱着香蕉箱，用力敲门。）

Phoebe

Oh, this is so intense. One side of my butt is totally asleep, and the other side has no idea.

这下可好，一边的屁股在睡觉，另一边却毫无所知。

(Mr. Heckles opens the door)

（赫克尔斯先生开门。）

Ross

Hi, did you order some bananas?

你有订香蕉吗？

Mr. Heckles

What about it?

那是干吗的？

Ross

Gimme back my monkey.

还我的猴子。

Mr. Heckles

I don't have a monkey.

我没猴子。

Rachel

Then what's with all the bananas?

干嘛买一箱香蕉？

Mr. Heckles

Potassium.

补充钾。

(There is a monkey-like noise from within and Ross pushes past Mr. Heckles and enters his apartment)

（里面传来猴子叫声，罗斯推开赫克尔斯先生进去。）

Ross

Marcel? Marcel? Okay, where is he? Where is he? Marcel? Marcel?

马修？它在哪儿？马修？

(Marcel jumps into view wearing a pink dress. Everybody gasps)

（马修穿着粉红色连衣裙跳出来。大家都倒吸一口气。）

Ross

Marcel! What've you done to him?

你对它怎么了？

Mr. Heckles

That's my monkey. That's Patti, Patti the monkey.

这是我的猴子，它叫佩蒂。

Ross

Are you insane? C'mere, Marcel, c'mon. (Marcel starts to go to him)

你疯了不成？过来，马修……（马修开始走向他）

Mr. Heckles

C'mere, Patti. (Marcel turns round)

过来，佩蒂。（马修转身）

Ross

C'mere, Marcel. (Turns to Ross)

过来，马修。（转向罗斯）

Mr. Heckles

C'mere, Patti. (Turns to Mr. Heckles)

过来，佩蒂。（转向赫克尔斯）

Luisa

(Out of shot) Here, monkey. Here, monkey! Here, monkey! (Marcel runs to the door and into Luisa's cage, which she slams shut) Gotcha.

（画外）猴子过来……（马修跑到门口，跑进路易莎的笼子里，她用力关上）总算逮到你了。

Ross

Okay, gimme my monkey back.

把我的猴子还给我。

Mr. Heckles

That's my monkey.

那是我的猴子。

Luisa

You're both gonna have to take this up with the judge.

你们到法官面前去争吧。

Mr. Heckles

That's not my monkey. Just the dress is mine, you can send that back whenever.

那不是我的猴子，只有衣服是我的，随时可以送回来。

Ross

Alright, I want my monkey.

我要我的猴子。

Luisa

No!

不！

Rachel

Oh, c'mon, Luisa!

露莎，拜托。

Luisa

Sorry, prom queen.

抱歉了，舞会皇后。

Ross

(To Rachel) You had to be a bitch in high school, you couldn't've been fat.

（对瑞秋）你高中时干嘛那么贱，为何不当个胖妹？

Rachel

Alright. In high school I was the prom queen and I was the homecoming queen and the class president and you... were also there! But if you take this monkey, I will lose one of the most important people in my life. You can hate me if you want, but please do not punish him. C'mon, Luisa, you have a chance to be the bigger person here! Take it!

在学校我是舞会皇后、返校皇后和班代，你也在场。如果你把猴子带走，我将失去我生命中重要的人。你可以恨我，请别折磨他。此时你有机会成为大人物，把握机会吧！

Luisa

Nope.

不。

Rachel

Alright. Well then how about I call your supervisor, and I tell her that you shot my friend in the ass with a dart?

那么我只好告诉你的长官，你在我朋友的屁股上开了一枪。

Ross

It'll be nice to get this off finally, won't it? Yes it will. (Marcel resists) Or we can leave it on for now, that's fine.

终于能脱去这件衣服，或是这样也不错。配上鞋就是完整的一套。

Rachel

Y'know, with the right pair of pumps, that would be a great little outfit.

配上鞋就是完整的一套。

Ross

Listen, I'm- I'm sorry I was so hard on you before, it's just I...

抱歉，我对你这么凶。

Rachel

Oh, Ross, c'mon. It's my fault, I almost lost your...

不，这都是我的错，我差点……

Ross

Yeah, but you were the one who got him back, y'know? You, you were great. ...Hey, we uh, we still have that, uh, that bottle of wine. You in the mood for, uh, something grape?

不，它也是你找回来的，你做得很好。那瓶酒还在，有心情喝杯葡萄酒吗？

Rachel

That'd be good.

好呀。

Ross

Alright. (He goes to get the glasses. Then he hesitates and turns off the main light. Rachel looks round and he acts surprised) The, uh, the neighbours must be vacuuming. (He sits down and starts to pour the wine) Well, so long as we're here and, uh, not on the subject, I was thinking about, uh, how mad we got at each other before, and, um, I was thinking maybe it was partially because of how we, um...

很好。（他去拿杯子。然后犹豫，关掉主灯。瑞秋环顾四周，他假装惊讶）隔壁一定在用吸尘器。（坐下倒酒）只要我们在这儿不谈那个话题，我在想我们刚刚实在是恶言相向，大概是因为我们……

(Barry bursts in)

（巴瑞冲进来。）

Barry

Rachel.

瑞秋。

Rachel

Barry?!

巴瑞？！

Barry

I can't. I can't do it, I can't marry Mindy. I think I'm still in love with you.

我办不到，我无法和明蒂结婚。我想我爱的人依然是你。

Ross and Rachel

Oh!

哦！

Ross

We have got to start locking that door!

我们得开始锁门了！

Closing Credits

片尾

Monica

This is me in The Sound of Music. See the von Trapp kids?

这是演“真善美”的我，看见范崔普的孩子吗？

Phoebe

Nope.

没有。

Monica

That's because I'm in front of them.

因为我挡在他们前面。

Chandler

Eh. I thought that was an alp.

我以为那是阿尔卑斯山。

Monica

Well, high school was not my favourite time.

我的高中时代并不如意。

Joey

I dunno, I loved high school. Y'know? It was just four years of parties and dating and sex.

我爱高中，就是四年的舞会，约会和做爱。

Chandler

Yeah, well I went to boarding school with four hundred boys. Any sex I had would've involved a major lifestyle choice.

我上住宿的学校和四百个男孩子，每次做爱都是一次生活方式的重大抉择。

Monica

Gosh, doesn't it seem like a million years ago?

天啊，那不是回到史前时代？

Phoebe

Oh. Oooh! Ooh! Ooh! (She stands up and starts to dance around) Ooh! My butt cheek is waking up! Oooh! Ooh!

我的屁股醒了！哦！

End

剧终