The One With the Boobies

Rachel

That is IT! You just barge in here, you don't knock—

抱歉！天啊，我受够了！你不敲门就闯进来？

Chandler

I'm sorry!

抱歉。

Rachel

You have no respect for anybody's privacy!

难道你不尊重别人的隐私权？

Chandler

Rachel, wait, wait.

瑞秋，慢着。

Rachel

No, you wait! This is ridiculous!

不，你慢着，这太荒唐了。

Chandler

Can I just say one thing?

我能说一件事吗？

Rachel

What? What?!

什么事？

Chandler

That's a relatively open weave and I can still see your... nipular areas.

这块布编的非常松，因此我仍能看见你的胸脯。

Rachel

Oh!!

噢！！

(She storms off)

（她气冲冲地离开。）

Opening Credits

片头

Phoebe

Oh, honey, honey, tell them the story about your patient who thinks things are, like, other things. Y'know? Like, the phone rings and she takes a shower.

亲爱的，告诉他们你的病人如何把事想成另一件事。例如电话响时她就去洗澡。

Roger

That's pretty much it.

差不多是那样。

Phoebe

Oops!

哦！

Roger

But you tell it really well, sweetie.

但你说得很好，谢谢。

Phoebe

Thanks. Okay, now go away so we can talk about you.

快走开我们才能谈你。

Roger

Okay. I'll miss you.

好吧，我会想念你的。

Phoebe

Isn't he great?

他很不错吧？

Rachel

He's so cute! And he seems to like you so much.

他好帅，也好像很喜欢你。

Phoebe

I know, I know. So sweet... and so complicated. And for a shrink, he's not too shrinky, y'know?

我知道，他人很好，而且很复杂。

Monica

So, you think you'll do it on his couch?

他会在沙发上做吗？

Phoebe

Oh, I don't know, I don't know. I think that's a little weird, y'know? Vinyl.

我不知道…有点奇怪，聚乙稀做的。

Rachel

Okaaay. (To the guys, on the couch) Any of you guys want anything else?

好吧。（对沙发上的男生）大家还想要别的吗？

Chandler

Oh, yes, could I have one of those. (Points)

要，我要……（指着某物。）

Rachel

No, I'm sorry, we're all out of those. Anybody else?

抱歉，卖完了，其他人呢？

Chandler

Okay.

好吧。

Roger

Did I, uh, did I miss something?

我是否错过某事？

Chandler

No, she's still upset because I saw her boobies.

没有，她很生气因为我看见她的胸脯。

Ross

You what? Wh what were you doing seeing her boobies?

你看她的胸脯干吗？

Chandler

It was an accident. Not like I was across the street with a telescope and a box of donuts.

那是意外，和拿着望远镜和甜甜圈过街的感觉不同。

Rachel

Okay, okay, could we change the subject, please?

能改变话题吗？

Phoebe

Yeah, 'cause hello, these are not her boobies, these are her breasts.

没错，因为那不是她的胸脯，而是她的胸部。

Rachel

Okay, Pheebs, I was hoping for more of a change.

菲比，我要的不只是改变字眼。

Chandler

Y'know, I don't know why you're so embarrassed, they were very nice boobies.

我不知你如此介意，你的胸脯很好看。

Rachel

Nice? They were nice. I mean, that's it? I mean, mittens are nice.

好看？就这样？手套也很好看。

Chandler

Okaaay, (Gestures) rock, hard place, me.

我……左右为难。

Roger

You're so funny! He's really funny! I wouldn't wanna be there when the laughter stops.

你真逗，他真的很逗！他不笑的时候，我也不想待在这儿。

Chandler

Whoah whoah, back up there, Sparky. What'd you mean by that?

等等，那是什么意思？

Roger

Oh, just seems as though that maybe you have intimacy issues. Y'know, that you use your humour as a way of keeping people at a distance.

你似乎有亲密上的问题。你用你的幽默和人保持距离。

Chandler

Huh.

嗯。

Roger

I mean hey! I just met you, I don't know you from Adam. ...Only child, right? Parents divorced before you hit puberty.

我才刚认识你，我对你毫无所知。独子？父母在你青春期前离婚？

Chandler

Uhhuh, how did you know that?

你怎会知道？

Roger

It's textbook.

你很典型。

(Joey enters with his dad)

（乔伊和他父亲进来。）

Joey

Hey you guys. Hey, you all know my dad, right?

各位，你们都认识我爸吧？

All

Hey! Hey, Mr. Trib!

嘿！嘿，崔先生！

Monica

Hey, how long are you in the city?

打算在纽约待多久？

Mr. Tribbiani

Just for a coupla days. I got a job midtown. I figure I'm better off staying with the kid than hauling my ass back and forth on the ferry. (Sees Roger) I don't know this one.

几天。我在中城工作，我想和儿子同住比来回坐渡轮好。（看见罗杰）我没见过他。

Phoebe

Oh, this is my friend Roger.

这是我朋友罗杰。

Roger

Hi.

幸会。

Mr. Tribbiani

Hey, hey. Good to meet you, Roger.

嘿，彼此彼此。

Roger

You too, sir.

彼此彼此，先生。

Mr. Tribbiani

(To Phoebe) What happened to the, uh, puppet guy?

（对菲比）玩布偶的那个怎么了？

Joey

Dad, dad. (Shakes his head)

爸，爸。（摇头。）

Mr. Tribbiani

Oh, 'scuse me. So Ross, uh, how's the wife? (Ross whines and lays his head on Chandler's shoulder) Off there too, uh? Uh, Chandler, quick, say something funny!

哦，抱歉。罗斯，你的太太呢？（罗斯呻吟，把头靠在钱德勒肩上。）两人出局了？钱德，说点好笑的。

(Chandler stays stonefaced)

（钱德勒面无表情。）

Mr. Tribbiani

Gotta go. I miss you too, I love you, but it's getting real late now.

我得挂电话了，我也想你，我爱你，但现在很晚了。

Joey

(Snatches the phone) Hey Ma. Listen, I made the appointment with Dr. Bazida, and... Excuse me? (To his dad) Did you know this isn't Ma?

（抢过电话）妈，我和包西达大夫约了时间，什么？（对他父亲）你知道这不是妈吗？

(His dad nods. Cut to later. Joey is chopping mushrooms)

（他父亲点头。切到稍后。乔伊在切蘑菇。）

Mr. Tribbiani

Her name's Ronni. She's a pet mortician.

她叫罗妮，宠物殡葬业者。

Joey

Sure. So how long you been... (Goes back to chopping)

当然。你和她多久了……（继续切。）

Mr. Tribbiani

Remember when you were a little kid, I used to take you to the navy yard and show you the big ships?

记得小时候我常带你去海军军港看大船？

Joey

Since then?!

从那时候？

Mr. Tribbiani

No, it's only been six years. I just wanted to put a nice memory in your head so you'd know that I wasn't always such a terrible guy. ...Joe. Y'ever been in love?

不，才6年。我只想勾起你美好的回忆，让你不会觉得我一直是个大烂人。乔伊，你爱过吗？

Joey

...I d'know.

……我不知道。

Mr. Tribbiani

Then y'haven't. You're burning your tomatoes.

那就是没有。你的蕃茄烧焦了。

Joey

You're one to talk. (Puts the mushrooms in a saucepan)

别想转移话题。（把蘑菇放进锅里。）

Mr. Tribbiani

Joe, your dad's in love big time. And the worst part of it is, it's with two different women.

乔，你老爸爱得无法自拔，最糟的是我爱两个女人。

Joey

Oh man. Please tell me one of 'em is Ma.

拜托你告诉我其中一个是妈。

Mr. Tribbiani

Of course, course one of 'em's Ma. What's the matter with you.

当然其中一个是你妈，你是怎么搞的？

Joey

It's like if you woke up one day and found out your dad was leading this double life. He's like actually some spy, working for the C.I.A. (Considers) That'd be cool.... This blows!

这就像你某天起床突然发现你爸是个双面人，就像是为中情局工作的间谍。那一定很酷……但这个很烂！

Rachel

I know, I mean, why can't parents just stay parents? (She walks over near Chandler and his gaze stays very obviously on her chest) Why do they have to become people? Why do they have... (Notices Chandler) Why can't you stop staring at my breasts?

我懂，为何父母就不能是父母？（她走到钱德勒附近，他的目光明显停留在她胸口。）为何他们就得成为人间男女？为何……（注意到钱德勒）别再盯着我的胸部看。

Chandler

(Without looking up) What? (Looks up) What?

（不抬头）什么？（抬头）什么？

Rachel

Did you not get a good enough look the other day?

那一天你还看得不够吗？

Ross

Alright, alright. We're all adults here, there's only one way to resolve this. Since you saw her boobies, I think, uh, you're gonna have to show her your peepee.

我们都已是成年人，此事只有一个解决之道。既然你看过她的胸脯，你应该让她看你的小弟弟。

Chandler

Y'know, I don't see that happening?

办不到。

Rachel

C'mon, he's right. Tit for tat.

拜托，他说得对，以眼还眼。

Chandler

Well I'm not showing you my 'tat.'

我不会让你看的。

(Door buzzer goes)

（门铃响。）

Monica

Hello?

喂？

Phoebe

(Intercom) It's Phoebe.

（对讲机）我是菲比。

Roger

(Intercom) And Rog.

（对讲机）我是罗格。

Monica

C'mon up.

上来吧。

Chandler

(Sarcastic) Oh, good. Rog is here.

（讽刺）这下可好，罗杰来了。

Joey

What's the matter with Rog?

罗杰有什么不对劲吗？

Ross

Yeah.

没什么，小事。

Chandler

Oh, it's nothing, it's a little thing... I hate that guy.

我讨厌这家伙。

Ross

What, so he was a little analytical. That's what he does, y'know? C'mon, he's not that bad.

为什么？因为他太善于分析。他就是这种人，别这样嘛，他没那么糟。

(Cut to Chandler, Ross and Roger sitting at the table. Ross is upset)

（切到钱德勒、罗斯和罗杰坐在桌旁。罗斯很不高兴。）

Ross

Y'see, that's where you're wrong. Why would I marry her if I thought on any level that she was a lesbian?

这就是你错误的地方。如果当初我感觉到她是女同志我何必和她结婚呢？

Roger

I dunno. Maybe you wanted your marriage to fail.

我不知道，或许你想让婚姻失败。

Ross

Why? Why would I why? Why? Why? Why?

为什么？为什么……我不知道，或许自信心不足。

Roger

I don't know. Maybe maybe low self-esteem, maybe maybe to compensate for overshadowing a sibling, maybe you...

或许是弥补你让你妹相形见绌的愧疚。

Monica

Wait-wait, go back to that sibling thing.

等等，回到妹妹的话题。

Roger

Well, I don't know. I mean, it's conceivable that you wanted to sabotage your marriage so that the sibling would feel less of a failure in the eyes of the parents.

我不知道，你要使你的婚姻触礁，让你妹在父母面前不那么抬不起头。

Ross

That that's ridiculous! I don't feel guilty for her failures!

这太荒谬了！她不争气我并未感到自责。

Monica

Oh! So you think I'm a failure!

你认为我不争气？

Phoebe

Isn't he good?

他不错吧？

Ross

Nonono, that that's not what I was saying...

我不是那个意思？

Monica

Y'know, all these years, I thought you were on my side. But maybe what you were doing was sucking up to Mom and Dad so they'd keep liking you better!

多年来我以为你支持我，但或许你婚姻失败目的是想巴结爸妈，让他们更心疼你。

Ross

Hey, I married a lesbian to make you look good!

我娶女同志是想让你建立自信！

(Cut to later. Rachel is in tears)

（切到稍后。瑞秋在哭。）

Rachel

You're right! I mean you're right! It wasn't just the Weebles, but it was the Weeble Play Palace, and and the Weebles' Cruise Ship. Oh, which had this little lifeboat for the Weebles to wobble in.

你说得对！那不是“威伯”的问题，而是威伯游乐宫和游轮的问题，它上面的救生艇让威伯能缓缓驶出。

Roger

That's tough. Tough stuff. C'mon, Pheebs, we're gonna catch that movie, we gotta get going.

那滋味不好受。菲比，如果想看电影我们现在该走了。

Phoebe

Oh, okay. Feel better, Rachel, 'kay?

打起精神来，瑞秋。

Roger

Geez, we're gonna be late, sweetie...

我们快来不及了。

Phoebe

Oh, okay. Listen, thanks for everything, Mon.

谢谢，不客气。

Monica

You're welcome.

各位，很高兴和各位再度见面。

Roger

Listen guys, it was great seeing you again. Mon, um, easy on those cookies, okay? Remember, they're just food, they're not love.

莫妮卡，饼干别吃太多，切记，那只是食物，不是爱。

(He shuts the door and Ross and Monica fling cookies at it)

（他关上门，罗斯和莫妮卡朝门扔饼干。）

Monica

Hate that guy! (Throws another cookie)

我讨厌这家伙！（又扔一块饼干。）

Joey

Night, you guys.

晚安，各位。

(They notice that a woman is sitting by their door)

（他们注意到一个女人坐在他们门边。）

Chandler

Oh look, it's the woman we ordered.

这是我们订的女人。

Joey

Hey. Can, uh, can we help you?

嘿，需要帮忙吗？

Ronni

Oh, no thanks, I'm just waiting for, uh, Joey Tribbiani.

不用，谢谢，我在等乔伊·崔比安尼。

Joey

I'm Joey Tribbiani.

我就是乔伊。

Ronni

Oh no, not you, big Joey. Oh my God, you're so much cuter than your pictures! (Joey stares at her) I-I'm, I'm Ronni....Cheese Nip?

不是你，是老乔伊。天啊，你比照片上帅多了！我是罗妮……想吃起司块吗？

Chandler

Uh, Joey's having an embolism, but I'd go for a Nip, y'know?

乔伊有“栓子”，但我可以来一点。

Commercial Break

广告时间

Ronni

Now, y'see, most people, when their pets pass on, they want 'em sorta laid out like they're sleeping. But occasionally you get your person who wants them in a pose. Like, chasing their tail, (Demonstrates) or, uh, jumping to catch a frisbee.

大部份人在宠物过世后，希望它们就像长眠一样。但有些人要他们摆出姿势，像追自己的尾巴，跳起接住飞盘。

Chandler

Joey, if I go first, I wanna be looking for my keys.

乔伊，如果我先走，我的姿势要像找钥匙一样。

Ronni

That's a good one!

这姿势不错。

(Joey's dad enters.)

（乔伊的父亲进来。）

Mr. Tribbiani

Hey, Joe.

嘿，乔。

Joey

Dad, Ronni's here.

爸，罗妮来了。

Mr. Tribbiani

Huh?

嗯？

Ronni

Hi.

嘿。

Mr. Tribbiani

Hey! Hello, babe! Wh what're what're you doing here?

嘿！宝贝！你来干什么？

Ronni

Oh, uh, well, you left your good hair at my apartment, I figured you'd need it tomorrow for your meeting. (Hands him the hair)

你的假发留在我的住处，我想你明天用得上。（把假发递给他。）

Mr. Tribbiani

Thank you. Uh...

谢谢。

Chandler

So, who's up for a big game of Kerplunk?

谁想玩“科普朗克”？

Ronni

Look, I uh, I shouldn't'a come. I-I'd better get going, I don't wanna miss the last train.

我不该来这儿。我该走了，我不想错过最后一班地铁。

Mr. Tribbiani

I don't want you taking that thing.

不，我不要你坐这么晚的车。

Ronni

Oh, where'm I gonna stay, here?

我要住哪儿，这里？

Joey

Who-ah-ho.

哦。

Mr. Tribbiani

We'll go to a hotel.

我们去住饭店。

Ronni

(Shrugs) We'll go to a hotel.

（耸肩）我们去住饭店。

Joey

No you won't.

不行。

Ronni

No we won't.

不行。

Joey

If you go to a hotel you'll be...doing stuff. I want you right here where I can keep an eye on you.

你们去饭店就一定会办事。我要你们待在这儿，这样我就可以监视。

Mr. Tribbiani

You're gonna keep an eye on us?

你要监视我们？

Joey

That's right, mister, and I don't care how old you are, as long as you're under my roof you're gonna live by my rules. And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend.

没错，我不管你们多大，只要住在我家——一切就得听我的，那就是不准你们睡在一起。

Ronni

Wow. He's strict.

他好严格。

Joey

Now dad, you'll be in my room, Ronni uh, you can stay in Chandler's room.

爸，你睡我房间。罗妮，你睡钱德的房间。

Ronni

Thanks. You're, uh, you're a good kid.

谢谢，你真是个好孩子。

Chandler

C'mon, I'll show you to my room. ...That sounds so weird when it's not followed by "No thanks, it's late."

来，我带你去看我房间。感觉真奇怪，你没说“不，谢了，时候不早了”。

Joey

Okay. Now this is just for tonight. Starting tomorrow, you gotta make a change. This has gone on long enough.

只有今晚，明天你们就得做出改变。6年已经够久了。

Mr. Tribbiani

What kinda change?

什么改变？

Joey

Well, either you break it off with Ronni.

不是和她分手就是……

Mr. Tribbiani

I can't do that!

我办不到！

Joey

Then you gotta come clean with Ma! This is not right!

不然就是向妈自首，这样是不对的！

Mr. Tribbiani

Yeah, but this is...

对，但是……

Joey

I don't wanna hear it! Now go to my room!

我不想听！快进我房里！

Chandler

Hey, Kicky. What're you doing?

别踢了，你在干什么？

Joey

Just trying to get comfortable. I can't sleep in my underwear.

找寻舒适的位置。穿着内裤我睡不着。

Chandler

Well, you're gonna.

你非穿不可。

Joey

I've been thinking. Y'know, about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls...

我一直在想……我总是看见女人叠在女人上面……

Chandler

Are they end to end, or tall like pancakes?

她们是首尾相接还是像煎饼一样高？懂我意思吗？

Joey

Y'know what I mean, about how I'm always going out with all these women. And I always figured, when the right one came along, I'd be able to be a stand-up guy and go the distance, y'know? Now I'm looking at my dad, thinking...

我总想像自己和这些女人约会，因为我总想梦中情人出现时，我就会勇往直前坚持到最后。但如今看见我爸……

Chandler

Hey, you're not him. You're you. When they were all over you to go into your father's pipe-fitting business, did you cave?

你不是他，你是你自己。当全天下都希望你继承你爸的事业时，你有屈服吗？

Joey

No.

没有。

Chandler

No. You decided to go into the out-of-work actor business. Now that wasn't easy, but you did it! And I'd like to believe that when the right woman comes along, you will have the courage and the guts to say "No thanks, I'm married."

没有，你决心当个演员。这不是一件容易的事，但你办到了。我也相信梦中情人出现时，你会有勇气对她说“抱歉，我已婚”。

Joey

You really think so?

你真的这样认为？

Chandler

Yeah. I really do.

真的。

Joey

Thanks, Chandler. (Snuggles up to him)

谢谢，钱德勒。（依偎过去。）

Chandler

Get off!

滚开！

Ronni

Hi.

嘿。

Monica

Hi...May I help you?

嘿……有事吗？

Ronni

Yeah, uh, Joey said I could use your shower, since, uh, Chandler's in ours?

乔伊说我能用你的浴室，因为钱德正在用我们的。

Monica

Okay...who are you?

好吧……你是谁？

Ronni

Oh, I'm Ronni. Ronni Rappelano? The mistress?

我叫罗妮，情妇。

Monica

Oh, c'mon in.

请进。

Ronni

Thanks.

谢谢。

Rachel

Hi, I'm Rachel.

我叫瑞秋。

Ronni

Hi.

嘿。

Rachel

Bathroom's up there.

浴室在那儿。

Ronni

Great.

好。

Rachel

Hey, listen, Ronni, how long would you say Chandler's been in the shower?

罗妮，钱德进浴室多久了？

Ronni

Oh, like, uh, five minutes?

约5分钟。

Rachel

Perfect. Fasten your seatbelts, it's peepee time. (She goes into Joey and Chandler's apartment, where Mr. Tribbiani is reading the paper) Hey, Mr. Trib.

太好了。请系好安全带，“小弟弟”时间到了。（她走进乔伊和钱德勒的公寓，崔先生在看报。）嘿，崔先生。

Mr. Tribbiani

Hey. Morning, dear.

嘿，早安。

(Rachel goes up to the door of their bathroom)

（瑞秋走向浴室门。）

Rachel

Chandler Bing? It's time to see your thing.

钱德勒·宾，该我看你的小弟弟了。

(She opens the door and whips back the curtain. It's Joey. They both scream)

（她打开门，拉开浴帘。是乔伊。两人都尖叫。）

Joey

(Runs out in a towel) What's the matter with you?!

（裹着毛巾跑出来）你是怎么搞的？

Rachel

I thought it was Chandler!

我以为你是钱德！

Chandler

(Comes out of his room) What? What?

（从房间出来）什么事？什么事？

Rachel

You were supposed to be in there so I could see your thing!

你应该在浴室，这样我才能看见你的小弟弟。

Chandler

Sorry, my my thing was in there with me.

抱歉，我的小弟弟和我在那儿。

All

Hey, Pheebs.

嘿，菲比。

Phoebe

Hey.

嘿。

Monica

How's it going?

如何？

Phoebe

Good. Oh oh! Roger's having a dinner thing and he wanted me to invite you guys.

不错。罗杰想邀大家一起吃晚餐。

(Chandler laughs)

（钱德勒笑。）

Phoebe

So what's going on?

怎么了？

Monica

Nothing, um, it's just, um... It's Roger.

没事，只是……罗杰。

Ross

I dunno, there's just something about...

我说不上来，有些事……

Chandler

Basically we just feel that he's...

基本上我们认为他……

Rachel

We hate that guy.

我们讨厌他……

All

Yeah. Hate him.

是的，我们讨厌他。

Ross

We're sorry, Pheebs, we're sorry.

菲此，我们很抱歉。

Phoebe

Uh-huh. Okay. Okay, don't you think, maybe, though, it's just that he's so perceptive that it freaks you out?

是不是他观察入微反而吓到你们了？

All

...No, we hate him.

不，我们讨厌他。

Rachel

We're sorry.

抱歉。

Joey

Ma! What're you doing here?

妈，你来干什么？

Mrs. Tribbiani

I came to give you this (Gives him a bag of groceries) and this. (Whacks him round the ear)

我拿这个来给你，还有这个。（打他后脑勺。）

Joey

Oww! Big ring!

好大的戒指！

Mrs. Tribbiani

Why did you have to fill your father's head with all that garbage about making things right? Things were fine the way they were! There's chicken in there, put it away. For God's sake, Joey, really. (She gives the sofabed a tiny push and it folds away)

你为何讲一大堆要你爸改正的垃圾？何不顺其自然呢？里面有鸡肉，拿去放。拜托，乔依，真的。（她轻轻推了一下沙发床，它就折起来了。）

Joey

Hold on, you-you knew?

慢着，你都知道？

Mrs. Tribbiani

Of course I knew! What did you think? Your father is no James Bond. You should've heard some of his cover stories. "I'm sleeping over at my accountant's," I mean, what is that? Please!

我当然知道，你认为呢？你爸又不是詹姆士庞德。你应该听过他的谎言，“我在会计这儿睡”，那是什么？拜托！

Joey

So then how could you I mean, how could you?!

你怎能……？

Mrs. Tribbiani

Do you remember how your father used to be? Always yelling, always yelling nothing made him happy, nothing made him happy, not that wood shop, not those stupid little ships in the bottle, nothing. Now he's happy! I mean, it's nice, he has a hobby.

记得你爸以前的模样吗？总是大吼大叫，总是不开心，连木店和瓶内的小船也无法让他开心。这样也好，他总算有个嗜好。

Joey

Ma, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but... what the hell are you talking about?! I mean, what about you?

妈，恕我直言，你到底在说什么？你呢？

Mrs. Tribbiani

Me? I'm fine. Look, honey, in an ideal world, there'd be no her, and your father would look like Sting. And I'll tell you something else. Ever since that poodle-stuffer came along, he's been so ashamed of himself that he's been more attentive, he's been more loving... I mean, it's like every day's our anniversary.

我？我很好啊。在理想的世界中没有她，你爸也长得和史汀一样帅。再告诉你别的，自从那女人出现后，他感到内疚而开始对我体贴，每天都像我们的结婚纪念日。

Joey

I'm...happy...for you?

我该为你高兴？

Mrs. Tribbiani

Well don't be, because now everything's screwed up. I just want it the way it was.

不需要，因为现在全搞砸了。我只想回到从前。

Joey

Ma, I'm sorry. I just did what I thought you'd want.

妈，对不起，我以为自己做了你想做的事。

Mrs. Tribbiani

I know you did, cookie. Oh, I know you did. So tell me. Did you see her?

我知道。告诉我，你看见她没？

Joey

Yeah. You're ten times prettier than she is.

你比她漂亮多了。

Mrs. Tribbiani

That's sweet. Could I take her?

嘴巴真甜，我斗得过她？

Joey

With this ring? (Her engagement ring.) No contest.

你有戒指，她斗不过的。

Roger

What's wrong, sweetie?

怎么了？

Phoebe

Nothing, nothing.

没事。

Roger

Aaaah, what's wrong, c'mon. (Pats his leg. She lies down and rests her head in his lap)

到底怎么了？快说嘛。（拍腿。她躺下，头枕在他腿上。）

Phoebe

It's, I mean, it's nothing, I'm fine. It's my friends. They-they have a liking problem with you. In that, um, they don't.

好吧，我……没事。问题出在我朋友身上，他们对你有意见。他们……他们？

Roger

Oh. They don't.

他们看不见你的好处。

Phoebe

But they don't see all the wonderfulness that I see. They don't see all the good stuff and all the sweet stuff. They just think you're a little...

他们看不见你好的一面，他们认为你有点……

Roger

What?

什么？

Phoebe

Intense and creepy.

难以相处。

Roger

Oh.

哦。

Phoebe

But I don't. Me, Phoebe.

但我菲比不这么认为。

Roger

Well, I'm not I'm not at all surprised they feel that way.

我对他们的反应毫不感到惊讶。

Phoebe

You're not? See, that's why you're so great!

你不惊讶？这就是我欣赏你的地方。

Roger

Actually it's, it's quite, y'know, typical behaviour when you have this kind of dysfunctional group dynamic. Y'know, this kind of co-dependant, emotionally stunted, sitting in your stupid coffee house with your stupid big cups which, I'm sorry, might as well have nipples on them, and you're like all 'Oh, define me! Define me! Love me, I need love!'.

当群体动力失调时这是很平常的反应。这种相互依赖，情绪激动，坐在那家烂咖啡屋，拿着大咖啡杯，抱歉，或许还有乳头在上面，你们都会说“定义我这个人”，“爱我，我需要爱”。

Monica

So you talked to your dad, huh.

你和你爸谈过了？

Joey

Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my ma like she wanted, she's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does, and my little sister Tina can't see her husband any more because he got a restraining order...which has nothing to do with anything except that I found out today.

他要以我妈希望的方式继续欺骗我妈，我妈要继续假装她一无所知，我妹蒂娜不能再见她丈夫，因为他接到禁制令。这两件事没关系，但我今天才听说。

Rachel

Wow.

哇。

Chandler

Things sure have changed here on Waltons mountain.

华登山这儿的事全变了。

Ross

So Joey, you okay?

乔伊，你没事吧？

Joey

Yeah, I guess. It's just parents, after a certain point, you gotta let go. Even if you know better, you've gotta let them make their own mistakes.

或许吧，他们是父母，你不得不顺其自然，即使你知道这样做不对，但你还是得让他们犯自己的错误。

Rachel

Just think, in a couple of years we get to turn into them.

而且几年后我们就和他们一样。

Chandler

If I turn into my parents, I'll either be an alcoholic blond chasing after twenty-year-old boys, or... I'll end up like my mom.

如果我像他们一样，我不是变成追逐金发帅哥的酒鬼，就是变得和我妈一样。

Phoebe

(entering) Hey.

（进来）嘿。

All

Hey, Pheebs.

嘿，菲比。

Monica

How's it going?

如何？

Phoebe

Oh, okay, except I broke up with Roger.

还好，只是我和罗杰分手了。

All

Awww.

哦。

Phoebe

Yeah, right.

没错，不……

All

Aaawwwwww!!

哦！

Rachel

What happened?

怎么了？

Phoebe

I don't know, I mean, he's a good person, and he can be really sweet, and in some ways I think he is so right for me, it's just... I hate that guy!

我说不上来，他是个好人而且对我很体贴，他的某些方面很适合我，只是……我讨厌这个人！

Closing Credits

片尾

Phoebe

Hey, Joey. What's going on?

嘿，乔伊。怎么了？

Joey

Clear the tracks for the boobie payback express. Next stop: Rachel Green. (He goes into the bathroom. We hear a scream and he comes out, closely followed by Monica in a towel)

瑞秋·格林。（他走进浴室。听到一声尖叫，他出来，后面紧跟着裹着毛巾的莫妮卡。）

Monica

Joey!! What the hell were you doing?!

乔伊！！你到底在干什么？！

Joey

Sorry. Wrong boobies.

抱歉，看错胸脯了。

(He leaves. Cut to Monica entering Chandler and Joey's apartment. She sneaks up to the shower door)

（他离开。切到莫妮卡走进钱德勒和乔伊的公寓。她蹑手蹑脚走近浴室门。）

Monica

Hello, Joey.

你好，乔伊。

(She whips back the curtain to reveal Joey's dad)

（她拉开浴帘，露出乔伊的父亲。）

Mr. Tribbiani

Oh! ...Hello, dear.

哦！……你好，亲爱的。

(She whips the curtain shut in horror)

（她惊恐地拉上浴帘。）

End

剧终