The One With Underdog Gets Away

Rachel

Terry, I, I, I know that I haven't worked here very long, but I was wondering, do you think it would be possible if I got a $100 advance in my salary?

特里，我，我知道我在这里干时间并不长，但我在想，您是否能考虑预支给我100块薪水。

Terry

An advance?

预支？

Rachel

It's so that I can spend Thanksgiving with my family. See, every year we go skiing in Vail, and normally my father pays for my ticket, but I sort of started the whole independence thing, you know, which is actually why I took this job.

这样我才能和家里人共度感恩节。你看，每年，我们全家都去韦尔滑雪，通常都是我父亲为我出票钱，但是我现在已经开始学习独立，恩，这实际上也是我在这里干的原因。

Terry

Rachel, Rachel, sweetheart. You're a terrible, terrible waitress. Really, really awful.

瑞秋，瑞秋，亲爱的。你是一位非常，非常糟糕的女招待。真的，真的糟糕透顶。

Rachel

Ok, I, I hear what you're sayin'. I'm with you. Um, but I, but I'm trying really hard. And I think I'm doing better. I really do. Does anybody need coffee? (everyone in the place raises their hand) Oh, look at that.

好吧，我，我明白你的意思了。我同意您说的。但是我，我一直很努力地在做，我想我会做得更好的。我会的！有人需要咖啡吗？（店里所有人都举手）噢，你瞧！

Opening Credits

片头

Rachel

Excuse me, sir. Hi, you come in here all time. I was just wondering, do you think there's a possibility that you could give me an advance on my tips?

打扰一下，先生。恩，您是这里的老主顾了。不知道您是否能考虑预支一点小费给我？

Guy

Huh?

恩？

Rachel

Ok, ok, that's fine. Fine. Hey, I'm sorry about that spill before. (picks up the tip he leaves) Only $98.50 to go.

好，好，算我没说。我为以前用咖啡泼到您表示歉意。（拿起他留下的小费）还差98块5。

(Monica enters.)

（莫妮卡进来。）

Monica

Hey. Ross, did you know Mom and Dad are going to Puerto Rico for Thanksgiving?

嗨。罗斯，你知道老爸老妈要去波多黎各过感恩节吗？

Ross

No, they're not.

不，他们不会。

Monica

Yes, they are. The Blymens invited them.

他们要去。布莱曼家邀请了他们。

Ross

You're wrong.

你瞎说。

Monica

I am not wrong.

我没瞎说。

Ross

You're wrong.

你瞎说。

Monica

No, I just talked to them.

我刚和他们通过电话。

Ross

(getting up, upset) I'm calling Mom.

（起身，心烦）我去打给妈妈。

(Joey enters. His face looks abnormally colorful.)

（乔伊进来。他的脸看起来异常多彩。）

Joey

Hey, hey.

嘿，嘿。

Chandler

Hey.

嘿。

Phoebe

Hey.

嘿。

Chandler

And this from the cry-for-help department. Are you wearing makeup?

这里是“紧急求助部”。你化了妆吗？

Joey

Yes, I am. As of today, I am officially Joey Tribbiani, actor slash model.

是的。从今天起，我的正式身份就是乔伊·崔比安尼，演员兼模特。

Chandler

That's so funny, 'cause I was thinking you look more like Joey Tribbiani, man slash woman.

你看起来更像是乔伊·崔比安尼，男人兼女人。

Phoebe

What were you modeling for?

你给什么当模特？

Joey

You know those posters for the city free clinic?

你知道那些城市免费门诊的招贴画吗？

Monica

Oh, wow, so you're gonna be one of those "healthy, healthy, healthy guys"?

哦，哇，那你不就成了那些健康一族中的一员了吗？

Phoebe

You know, the asthma guy was really cute.

那个哮喘病人还真可爱。

Chandler

Do you know which one you're gonna be?

你知道你为什么代言吗？

Joey

No, but I hear lyme disease is open, so... (crosses fingers)

不知道，但是我听说脑膜炎还少人，所以……（交叉手指）

Chandler

Good luck, man. I hope you get it.

祝你好运，老兄。我希望你能染上。

Joey

Thanks.

谢谢。

(Ross comes back to the couch.)

（罗斯回到沙发。）

Ross

(to Monica) Well, you were right. How can they do this to us, huh? It's Thanksgiving.

（对莫妮卡）好吧，你是对的。他们怎能抛下我们不管？这可是感恩节。

Monica

Ok, I'll tell you what. How about I cook dinner at my place? I'll make it just like Mom's.

好，我提议。我在我那儿做顿大餐，怎么样？我会做得和妈妈的味道一样的。

Ross

Will you make the mashed potatoes with the lumps?

你会弄成块的土豆泥给我吃吗？

Monica

You know, they're not actually supposed to have... (Ross looks at her sheepishly) I'll work on the lumps. Joey, you're going home, right?

这个，他们真不该把土豆……（罗斯不好意思地看着她）我做土豆块。乔伊，你要回家，是吗？

Joey

Yeah.

没错。

Monica

And I assume, Chandler, you are still boycotting all the pilgrim holidays.

钱德，你还在抵制所有清教徒的节日吗？

Chandler

Yes, every single one of them.

当然，他们中的任何一个。

Monica

Phoebe, you're gonna be with your grandma?

菲比，你要和你奶奶一起过？

Phoebe

Yes, and her boyfriend. But we're celebrating Thanksgiving in December 'cause he is lunar.

是的，还有她的男朋友。但我们只在12月庆祝，因为他脑子有点乱。

Monica

So you're free Thursday, then.

那么，你星期四有空了。

Phoebe

Yeah. Oh, can I come?

是的。噢，我能来吗？

Monica

Yeah. Rach, are you thinking you're gonna make it to Vail?

当然。瑞秋，你定下来要去韦尔吗？

Rachel

Absolutely. Shoop, shoop, shoop. Only a hundred and two dollars to go.

没错。“咻，咻，咻！”还差102元就可成行。

Chandler

I thought it was $98.50.

我记得刚才不还是98块5。

Rachel

Yeah, well it was. I, I broke a cup.

没错，但我又摔了一个杯子。

Ross

Well, I'm off to Carol's.

我到卡萝那里去。

Phoebe

Ooh, ooh! Why don't we invite her?

哦，哦！我们干嘛不叫上她？

Ross

(mimicking) Ooh, ooh. Because she's my ex-wife, and will probably want to bring her, ooh, ooh, lesbian life partner.

（模仿）“哦，哦”，因为她是我的前妻，而且她可能还想带上她的，“哦，哦”，女同志！

Ross

Hi, is uh, is Carol here?

Hi，卡萝在吗？

Susan

No, she's at a faculty meeting.

她开教工会去了。

Ross

Oh, I uh, just came by to pick up my skull. Well, not mine, but...

噢，我过来想把我的头骨拿走。嗯，不是我的，是……

Susan

Come in.

进来！

Ross

Thanks. Yeah, Carol borrowed it for a class, and I have to get it back to the museum.

谢谢。是这样，卡萝上回借走上课用的，我现在得拿回去还给博物馆。

Susan

What's it look like?

它是什么样子？

Ross

Kinda like a big face without skin.

就象一张没有皮的大脸。

Susan

Yes, I'm familiar with the concept. We can just look for it.

我有印象。我们来找找看。

Ross

Ok. (browsing the apartment) Wow, you guys sure have a lot of books about bein' a lesbian.

好的。（浏览公寓）哇，你们有这么多讲怎样成为一名女同志的书。

Susan

Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don't let you do it.

嗯，你知道吗，你必须接受一门课程。否则，他们不让你当同性恋。

Ross

(picking up a book) Hey, hey, Yertle the Turtle. A classic.

（拿起一本书）嘿，嘿，《Yertle the Turtle》。经典作品。

Susan

Actually, I'm reading it to the baby.

没错，我现在在念给宝宝听。

Ross

The uh, the baby that hasn't been born yet? Wouldn't that mean you're... crazy?

噢，那个还没出生的宝宝？你这不是……疯了？

Susan

What, you don't think they can hear sounds in there?

什么，你觉得宝宝在里面听不到声音？

Ross

You're not serious, I mean, you really... you really talk to it?

当然，经常说。我要让宝宝认得我的声音。

Susan

Yeah, all the time. I want the baby to know my voice.

那，你提到过我吗？

Ross

Do you uh, do you talk about me?

有的，常事。

Susan

Yeah, yeah, all the time.

真的？

Ross

Really?

但是，嗯，我们称你为提供精液的BoBo。

Susan

But um, we just refer to you as Bobo the Sperm Guy.

不行，如果她和宝宝说话，那我也应该有一些“肚子谈话时间”。

Ross

Look, if she's talking to it, I just think that I should get some belly time too. Not that I believe any of this.

但这不表示我相信这个。

Phoebe

Oh, I believe it. I think the baby can totally hear everything. I can show you. Look, this will seem a little weird, but you put your head inside this turkey, and then we'll all talk, and you'll hear everything we say.

噢，我相信。我觉得宝宝什么都能听见。我可以演示给你看。可能会有点怪异，你得把你的头放在这只火鸡里面，然后大伙儿说话，你肯定能听到我们说的。

Chandler

I'd just like to say that I'm totally behind this experiment. In fact, I'd very much like to butter your head.

我想说我完全赞成这个实验。而且，我还非常想把你的脑袋涂上黄油。

(Rachel enters.)

（瑞秋进来。）

Monica

Hey, Rach, did you make your money?

嘿，瑞秋，钱拿到没有？

Rachel

No, not even close. Forget Vail, forget seeing my family, forget shoop, shoop, shoop.

没有，都关门了。忘掉韦尔吧，忘掉家庭团聚吧，忘掉“咻，咻，咻。”吧。

Monica

Rach, here's your mail.

瑞秋，你的信。

Rachel

Thanks, you can just put it on the table.

谢谢，放在桌上就行了。

Monica

(insistently) No, here's your mail.

（坚持地）不，这是你的信！

Rachel

Thanks, you can just put it on the table.

谢谢，你把它放在桌子上就行了。

Monica

(gives her an envelope) Would you just open it?

（递给她一个信封）你不想现在就打开它吗？

(Rachel opens it. Inside is the money she needed.)

（瑞秋打开信封。里面正是她需要的钱。）

Rachel

Oh my god, oh, you guys are great.

喔，天哪！你们真好！

Monica

We all chipped in.

大伙凑的。

Joey

(to Monica) We did?

（对莫妮卡）大伙？

Monica

(to Joey) You owe me 20 bucks.

（对乔伊）你欠我20块。

Rachel

Thank you. Thank you so much!

谢谢！太感谢了！

Monica

(hands Chandler a bag) Chandler, here you go, got your traditional Thanksgiving feast, you got your tomato soup, your grilled cheese fixin's, and your family size bag of Funyuns.

（递给钱德勒一个袋子）钱德，这是你的感恩节大餐，你的西红柿汤，你的奶酪杂拌和你的特大号洋葱小吃。

Rachel

Wait, wait, Chandler, this is what you're havin' for Thanksgiving dinner? What, what, what is it with you and this holiday?

等等，钱德，这是你的感恩节晚餐吗？你和这个节到底有什么过不去的？

Chandler

All right, I'm nine years old.

好吧，我9岁那年……

Ross

Oh, I hate this story.

噢，我厌恶这个故事。

Chandler

We just finished this magnificent Thanksgiving dinner. I have--and I remember this part vividly--a mouthful of pumpkin pie, and this is the moment my parents choose to tell me they're getting divorced.

他们要离婚了。

Rachel

Oh my god.

噢，天！

Chandler

Yes. It's very difficult to appreciate a Thanksgiving dinner once you've seen it in reverse.

是的。一旦你有过这样的负面印象，就很难对感恩节大餐有兴趣了。

Joey

Uh, hi. We uh, we used to work together.

嗨，我们一起工作过。

Girl

We did?

有吗？

Joey

Yeah, at Macy's. You were the Obsession girl, right? I was the Aramis guy. (pretends to spray cologne) Aramis? Aramis?

是的，在美西百货。你是那个“迷幻”女郎，对吧？我是那卖“阿拉米香水”的。阿拉米？阿拉米？

Girl

Yeah, right.

哦，想起来了。

Joey

I gotta tell you. You're the best in the business.

我得说，你是那里面最棒的。

Girl

Get out.

少来了！

Joey

I'm serious. You're amazing. You know when to spritz, when to lay back.

我是说真的。你太让人吃惊了。你的表演是那样张弛有度。

Girl

Really? You don't know what that means to me.

真的吗？我受宠若惊了。

Joey

Ooh, you smell great tonight. What're you wearing?

噢，你今晚闻起来妙极了。你身上是什么？

Girl

(provocatively) Nothing.

（挑逗地）什么也没有！

Joey

Listen, uh, you wanna go get a drink or something?

你想不想去喝上一杯？

Girl

Yeah. (she gets up, notices something behind Joey) Oh.

好的，哦。（她站起来，注意到乔伊身后有什么）哦。

Joey

What's wrong?

怎么了？

Girl

I just remembered, I have to do something.

我刚想起，我还有要紧的事要做。

Joey

Oh. What?

噢，什么事情？

Girl

Um, leave.

离开。

Joey

Wait, wait, wait!

等等，嘿，等等！

(Joey turns around and sees his face on a poster in the subway. The poster says: What Mario isn't telling you...V.D., you never know who might have it. A variety of scenes are shown with the poster displayed all over New York City.)

“马里奥没有告诉你的…他有性病，你永远无从知道谁会染上它”。）

Joey

So I guess you all saw it.

我想你们都看见了。

Rachel

Saw what?

看见什么？

Phoebe

No, we were just laughing. You know, how laughter can be infectious.

不，我们只是在笑。你知道，笑也是会传染的。

Joey

Set another place for Thanksgiving. My entire family thinks I have VD.

我得另找个地方过感恩节了。我全家都认为我有花柳病。

Chandler

Tonight, on a very special Blossom.

今夜，此花怒放。

Commercial Break

广告时间

Monica

Mmm, looking good. Ok, cider's mulling, turkey's turking, yams are yamming. (notices Ross is depressed) What?

嗯，看起来不错。好，苹果酒搞定，火鸡搞定，山芋搞定。怎么了？

Ross

I don't know. It's just not the same without Mom in the kitchen.

我不知道。妈妈不在厨房感觉就是不一样。

Monica

All right, that's it. You know what? Just get out of my way and stop moping.

够了！你知道个屁？靠边站，别擦了。

Ross

That's closer.

有点象了。

(Rachel enters, excited.)

（瑞秋兴奋地进来。）

Rachel

I got the tickets! I got the tickets! Five hours from now, shoop, shoop, shoop.

我买到票了！我买到票了！五小时后，“咻，咻，咻”。

Chandler

Oh, you must stop shooping.

噢，别“咻”了，好吗？

Rachel

Ok, I'm gonna get my stuff.

Ok，我去收拾行李。

Joey

Chandler, will you just come in already?

钱德，你今晚会来吗？

Chandler

No, I prefer to keep a safe distance from all this merriment.

不，我喜欢和欢乐保持安全距离！

(Phoebe takes a slice of pumpkin pie and waves it in front of Chandler's face.)

（菲比拿起一块南瓜派，在钱德勒面前晃。）

Phoebe

Look out, incoming pumpkin pie!

注意，南瓜派来了！

Chandler

Ok, we all laughed when you did it with the stuffing, but that's not funny anymore.

好吧，你在塞填料的时候我们都有笑，但是这会不好笑了。

(Chandler leaves.)

（钱德勒离开。）

Joey

Hey, Monica, I got a question. I don't see any tater tots.

喂，莫尼卡，我有一个问题。我没看见有塔特酒。

Monica

That's not a question!

这不叫问题！

Joey

But my mom always makes them. It's like a tradition. You get a little piece of turkey on your fork, a little cranberry sauce, and a tot! It's bad enough I can't be with my family because of my disease.

但是我的妈妈总是做的。好象是个传统。弄点火鸡肉在叉子上，配上点蓝莓酱，还有塔特酒！因为我的“病”，我不能与家人团聚了，真糟糕透了。

Monica

All right, fine. Tonight's potatoes will be both mashed with lumps, and in the form of tots.

好吧，好吧。今晚的土豆泥会有成块的和有酒味的。

Ross

Ok, I'm off to talk to my unborn child.

好了，我要去和还没出生的宝宝说话了。

(Ross grabs for some food, Monica slaps his hand away.)

（罗斯伸手去拿食物，莫妮卡打掉他的手。）

Monica

Ah!

啊！

Ross

Ok, Mom never hit.

好吧，妈妈从不打我。

(Ross exits.)

（罗斯离开。）

Phoebe

(stirring pot) Ok, all done.

（搅锅）Ok，搞定了。

Monica

What, Phoebe, did you whip the potatoes? Ross needs lumps!

干吗，菲比，你在搅烂土豆吗？罗斯要吃块状的！

Phoebe

Oh, I'm sorry, oh, I just, I thought we could have them whipped and then add some peas and onions.

噢，很抱歉，噢，我以为搅烂了以后，可以加一些豌豆和洋葱。

Monica

Why would we do that?

为什么我们要那样做？

Phoebe

Well, 'cause then they'd be like my mom used to make them, you know, before she died.

嗯，因为我妈都是那样做的，你知道，在她去世之前。

Monica

Ok, three kinds of potatoes coming up.

好吧，第3种吃法出现。

Rachel

Ok, good-bye you guys. Thanks for everything. (she starts to leave, and hits everyone with her skis) Oh, sorry! Oh, sorry!

好了，大伙，再见。感谢你们。（她开始离开，滑雪板打到大家）哦，抱歉！噢，抱歉！

(Chandler enters, running.)

（钱德勒跑着进来。）

Chandler

The most unbelievable thing has happened. Underdog has just gotten away.

最不可思议事情发生了！“点头狗”刚刚飞了！

Joey

The balloon?

那个气球吗？

Chandler

No, no, the actual cartoon character. Of course the balloon. It's all over the news. Right before he reached Macy's, he broke free and was spotted flying over Washington Square Park. I'm goin' to the roof, who's with me?

不，是真的卡通人物。当然是那个气球！电视全是它的新闻。走到美西百货的时候他断线了，后来在华盛顿广场公园上又被发现了。我要上屋顶去看，谁要去？

Rachel

I can't, I gotta go.

我不去了，我得赶飞机。

Chandler

Come on. An 80-foot inflatable dog let loose over the city. How often does that happen?

来吧。80英尺长的充气狗在城市上空游荡。这样的机会有多少？

Phoebe

Almost never.

恐怕不会再有了。

Monica

Got the keys?

拿上钥匙……

Rachel

Ok.

开始吧。

(Everyone leaves the apartment.)

（大家都离开了公寓。）

Carol

Anytime you're ready.

随时可以开始。

Ross

Ok, ok, here we go. (he crouches down near her stomach) Ok, where am I talking to, here? I mean, uh, well, there is one way that seems to offer a certain acoustical advantage, but...

好的，好的，开始。（蹲在她肚子旁边）这里吗，我得对着哪里说？我的意思是，好象只有那样才能让他听见，但是……

Carol

Just aim for the bump.

对着鼓出来的地方就可以。

Ross

Ok, ok, ok, ok, here goes. You know, I, you know, can't do this. Uh, this is too weird. I feel stupid.

好的，开始了。你知道，我，你知道，我做不出来。这太搞笑。我感到自己象个傻瓜。

Carol

So don't do it, it's fine. You don't have to do it just because Susan does it.

那你就别说了。你不必因为苏珊做了你就非得做。

Ross

(quickly talking) Hello, baby. Hello, hello.

（快速地说）你好吗？宝宝！你好，你好！

Rachel

I loved the moment when you first saw the giant dog shadow all over the park.

大狗在公园上的时候挺好玩的。

Phoebe

Yeah, but did they have to shoot him down? I mean, that was just mean.

是的，但是他们必须把他射下来吗？真是作孽。

Monica

Ok, right about now the turkey should be crispy on the outside, juicy on the inside. Why are we standing here?

现在火鸡应该是外焦里嫩了。还站在这里干嘛？

Rachel

We're waiting for you to open the door. You got the keys.

等你开门。你拿的钥匙。

Monica

No I don't.

没有，我没拿。

Rachel

Yes, you do. When we left, you said, "got the keys."

你拿了。出来的时候，你说拿了钥匙。

Monica

No I didn't. I asked, "got the ke-eys?"

“拿上钥匙”？

Rachel

No, no, no, you said, "got the keys".

“拿上钥匙”。

Chandler

Do either of you have the keys?

你们俩都没带？

Monica

(panicked) The oven is on.

（惊慌）烤炉还开着。

Rachel

Oh, I gotta get my ticket!

噢，我得拿我的票！

Joey

Wait, wait, we have a copy of your key.

等等，等等，我们有一把你家的备用钥匙。

Monica

Well then get it, get it!

快去拿，快去！

Joey

That tone will not make me go any faster.

你这种语气无法加快我的速度。

Monica

(angry) Joey!

（生气）乔伊！

Joey

That one will.

这还凑合。

(Joey leaves to get the copy of the key.)

（乔伊离开去拿备用钥匙。）

Ross

And everyone's telling me, you gotta pick a major, you gotta pick a major. So, on a dare, I picked paleontology. And you have no idea what I'm saying, because, let's face it, you're a fetus. You're just happy you don't have gills anymore.

你得选个专业，你得选个专业。于是我鼓起勇气挑了古生物学。可能你不懂我正说什么，我们得面对现实，你还是一个胎儿。你应该高兴因为你不会再有鳃。

Carol

Look, you don't have to talk to it. You can sing to it if you want.

你不用老是说话，你也可以对它唱歌。

Ross

Oh, please. I am not singing to your stomach, ok?

噢。拜托，我才不想对着你的胃唱歌！

(Susan enters.)

（苏珊进来。）

Susan

Hi, how's it goin?

进展如何？

Ross

Shh! (singing) Here we come, walkin' down the street, get the funniest looks from, everyone we meet. Hey, hey! (to Carol) Hey, uh, did you just feel that?

嘘！（唱）沿着那些街道走着，每人人的表情都很可笑。嘿，嘿！（对卡罗）喂，噢，你觉着到了吗？

Carol

I did.

是的，我有。

Ross

Does it always, uh--?

他总这样吗，噢——？

Carol

No, no that was the first.

不，没有，这是第一次。

Susan

Keep singing! Keep singing!

接着唱！接着唱！

Ross

(singing) Hey, hey, you're my baby, and I can't wait to meet you. When you come out I'll buy you a bagel, and then we'll go to the zoo.

（唱）嘿，嘿，你是我的宝宝，我已经等不及想见你。等你出来后，我会为你买百吉饼，然后带你去动物园。

Susan

I felt it!

我感觉到啦！

Ross

(singin) Hey, hey, I'm your daddy. I'm the one without any breasts.

（唱）嘿，嘿，我是你的爸爸。没有乳房的那个……

Joey

Nope, not that one.

不，不是那个。

Monica

Can you go any faster with that?

你能快一点吗？

Joey

Hey, I got one keyhole and about a zillion keys. You do the math.

锁眼只有一个，而钥匙有上千把。你来试试。

Monica

Why do you guys have so many keys in there anyway?

你怎么会有那么多钥匙？

Chandler

(sarcastic) For an emergency just like this.

（讽刺）以备不时之需，就象现在这样。

Rachel

(grabs Chandler by the shirt) All right, listen, smirky. If it wasn't for you and your stupid balloon, I would be on a plane watching a woman do this (makes a gesture like a stewardess pointing out exits) right now. But I'm not.

（抓住钱德勒的衬衫）你听着，假笑的家伙。要不是你和你那该死的气球，现在我就在飞机上对着空中小姐指手画脚了。

Monica

I swear you said you had the keys.

我发誓你说你带了钥匙。

Rachel

No, I didn't. I wouldn't say I had the keys unless I had the keys, and I obviously didn't have the keys.

不，没有。我如果拿了钥匙，我会说“拿了”，显然我没拿那该死的钥匙。

Phoebe

Ooh, ok, that's it. Enough with the keys. No one say keys.

哦，好吧，够了，别再提钥匙了。

(Short pause.)

（短暂的停顿。）

Monica

Why would I have the keys?

为什么我应该拿钥匙？

Rachel

Aside from the fact that you said you had them?

因为你说你拿了！

Monica

But I didn't.

但是我没拿。

Rachel

Well, you should have.

嗯，你应该拿。

Monica

Why?

为什么？

Rachel

Because!

因为！

Monica

Why?

为什么？

Rachel

Because!

因为！

Monica

Why? Because everything is my responsibility? Isn't it enough that I'm making Thanksgiving dinner for everyone? You know, everyone wants a different kind of potatoes, so I'm making different kinds of potatoes. Does anybody care what kind of potatoes I want? Nooooo, no, no! (starting to cry) Just as long as Phoebe gets her peas and onions, and Mario gets his tots, and it's my first Thanksgiving, and it's all burned, and, and I... I...

为什么？因为一切事情都该是我的责任吗？难道我给大家准备感恩节晚餐还不够吗？每个人要的土豆泥都不一样，我得做各种样式的土豆泥。有谁关心过我要哪种土豆泥吗？没有，没有……菲比要有洋葱和豌豆的土豆泥，“马里奥”要有塔特酒口味的，这是我第一次搞感恩节大餐，现在全焦了，我……

Chandler

Ok, Monica, only dogs can hear you now, so, look, the door's open. Here we go.

好了，莫尼卡，只有狗现在能听见你说的，好了，门已经开。进去吧。

(They walk in. Smoke fills the apartment.)

（他们走进去。公寓里烟雾弥漫。）

Monica

Well, the turkey's burnt. (checking pots) Potatoes are ruined, potatoes are ruined, potatoes are ruined.

嗯，火鸡烧焦了。土豆完了，土豆完了，土豆完了。

(Ross enters, singing.)

（罗斯唱着歌进来。）

Ross

Here we come, walkin' down the---this doesn't smell like Mom's.

“我们沿着……”？妈妈的厨房可不是这个味。

Monica

No, it doesn't, does it? But you wanted lumps, Ross? (picks up the pan of badly burnt potatoes) Well, here you go, buddy, ya got one.

不象是吧？你不是要土豆块吗，罗斯？（拿起一锅烤焦的土豆）好，拿去，伙计。

Rachel

Oh, god, this is great! The plane is gone, so it looks like I'm stuck here with you guys.

噢，天哪，这很好！飞机已经飞走了，看来我只能留下来和你们呆在一起了。

Joey

Hey, we all had better plans. This was nobody's first choice.

我们本来都有个不错的计划的，这不是大伙的最佳选择。

Monica

Oh, really? So why was I busting my ass to make this delicious Thanksgiving dinner?

噢，真的吗？那我何苦为什么做这顿丰盛的感恩节大餐？

Joey

You call that delicious?

你管这叫丰盛吗？

(all shouting)

（大家吵成一团）

Monica

Stop it, stop it, stop it!

闭嘴，闭嘴，闭嘴！

Chandler

Now this feels like Thanksgiving.

终于有了点感恩节的气氛了。

Phoebe

Ooh.

噢！

Rachel

What?

什么？

Phoebe

Ugly Naked Guy's taking his turkey out of the oven. Oh my god. He's not alone. Ugly Naked Guy's having Thanksgiving dinner with Ugly Naked Gal.

丑陋裸男正从烤炉中取出他的火鸡。噢，我的天。丑陋裸男不是一个人。他正和一个丑陋裸女共进感恩节晚餐。

(They all run to the window.)

（他们都跑到窗边。）

Joey

I've gotta see this. All right Ugly Naked Guy!

我得看看。丑陋裸男真爽！

Monica

Ooh, Ugly Naked Dancing!

裸舞开场了！

Phoebe

It's nice that he has someone.

有人陪真好。

Chandler

Shall I carve?

可以切了吗？

Rachel

By all means.

当然可以。

Chandler

Ok, who wants light cheese, and who wants dark cheese?

来，谁想要浅色起司，谁想要深色起司？

Ross

I don't even wanna know about the dark cheese.

我一点也不想知道深色起司是怎么来的。

Monica

(holding sandwich) Does anybody wanna split this with me?

（拿着三明治）有人想要和我分这块吗？

Joey

Oh, I will.

噢，我要。

Phoebe

Ooh, you guys have to make a wish.

你们必须先许个愿望。

Monica

Make a wish?

许愿？

Phoebe

Come on, you know, Thanksgiving. Ooh, you got the bigger half. What'd you wish for?

来吧，这是感.恩.节！噢！你得到大半了。你许的什么愿？

Joey

The bigger half.

得到大半。

Chandler

I'd like to propose a toast. Little toast here, ding ding. I know this isn't the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.

谢天谢地你们的感恩节计划都砸了。

All

That's so sweet.

真是感人！

Ross

And hey, here's to a lousy Christmas.

来，祝你们有个糟糕的圣诞节。

Rachel

And a crappy New Year.

还有一个失败的新年。

Chandler

Here, here!

干！干！

Closing Credits

片尾

Bladder Control Problem

小便失禁！

Stop Wife Beating

停止家庭暴力 ！

Hemorrhoids?

有痔疮吗？

Winner of 3 Tony Awards...

三次“东尼奖”获得者……

He's finally happy with that and walks away.

他终于满意了，然后走开。

End

剧终