The One With the Butt

Rachel

(reading the program) Ooh! Look! Look! Look! Look, there's Joey's picture! This is so exciting!

（看节目单）你们看，是乔伊的照片！真是令人兴奋！

Chandler

You can always spot someone who's never seen one of his plays before. Notice, no fear, no sense of impending doom...

你总是能看见从未在自己作品中出现的某人，注意力强，无畏无惧，就算死到临头也不自觉。

Phoebe

The exclamation point in the title scares me. (Gesturing) Y'know, it's not just Freud, it's Freud!

标题上的惊叹号，令我有点害怕。这不只是佛洛依德，而是佛洛依德！

(The lights dim.)

（灯光变暗。）

Ross

Oh, shhh, shh. Magic is about to happen.

安静，奇迹就要出现。

(The lights go up on the stage, Joey, as Freud, is talking to a female patient.)

（舞台灯光亮起，乔伊饰演的弗洛伊德正在和一位女病人谈话。）

Joey

Well, Eva, we've done some excellent work here, and I would have to say, your problem is quite clear. (He goes into a song and dance number.)

伊娃，你今天的表现不错，我得说，你的问题相当清楚。（他唱跳起来。）

Or play with, or simply let hang...

你只想要个丁格尔，

Opening Credits

片头

Rachel

God. I feel violated.

天啊，我感觉自己受到冒犯了。

Monica

Did anybody else feel they just wanted to peel the skin off their body, to have something else to do?

还有其他人感觉只想剥掉自己的皮，如果还有其他事可做吗？

Chandler

(staring at a woman across the room) Ross, ten o'clock.

（盯着房间另一头的女人）罗斯，十点钟。

Ross

Is it? Feels like two.

是吗？感觉像是两点。

Chandler

No, ten o'clock.

不，十点钟。

Ross

What?

什么？

Chandler

(sighs and gestures to explain) There's a beautiful woman at eight, nine, ten o'clock!

（叹气，比划着解释）一位美女在8、9、10点钟方向！

Ross

Oh. Hel-lo!

哦，她简直就是仙女下凡！

Chandler

She's amazing! She makes the women that I dream about look like short, fat, bald men!

她让我的梦中情人变得有如矮胖的秃子！

Monica

Well, go over to her! She's not with anyone.

过去啊，她旁边没人。

Chandler

Oh yeah, and what would my opening line be? 'Excuse me. Blarrglarrghh.'

对，我该用什么开场白？“对不起，啦啦啦啦”。

Rachel

Oh, c'mon. She's a person, you can do it!

拜托，她只是个人，你罩得住。

Chandler

Oh please, could she be more out of my league? Ross, back me up here.

请告诉我，我配得上她吗？罗斯，帮我壮壮胆。

Ross

He could never get a woman like that in a million years.

他这副德行，一辈子都别想把到这种美女。

Chandler

Thank you, buddy.

谢了，老兄。

Phoebe

Oh, oh, but y'know, you always see these really beautiful women with these really nothing guys, you could be one of those guys.

但这种美女身边总是跟着蹩脚货，你也可以成为其中之一。

Monica

You could do that!

没错，你能办到！

Chandler

Y'think?

你也认为？

All

Yeah!

是的。

Chandler

Oh God, I can't believe I'm even considering this... I'm very very aware of my tongue...

没想到我竟有这种念头，我一向谨言慎行……

Ross

C'mon! C'mon!

快去！

Chandler

Here goes. (He walks over to her but just stands there.)

我上了。（他走过去，但只是站在那儿。）

Aurora

...Yes?

……有事吗？

Chandler

Hi.... um... okay, next word... would be... Chandler! Chandler is my name, and, uh...(He clears his throat noisily)...hi.

嗨……嗯……下个字是……钱德勒！我叫钱德勒，呃……（大声清嗓子）……嗨。

Aurora

Yes, you said that.

我知道，你说过。

Chandler

Yes, yes I did, but what I didn't say was what I was about to say, what I wanted to say was, uh... would you like to go out with me sometime, thankyou, goodnight. (He walks back to the others but she calls him back.)

对，我说过，但我没说我想说……我想说的是……愿意与我约会吗？谢谢，晚安。（他走回大家身边，但她叫住了他。）

Aurora

Chandler?

钱德？

(Joey enters from behind a curtain. The others all talk at once.)

（乔伊从幕布后面走出来。大家七嘴八舌。）

All

Hey! You're in a play! I didn't know you could dance! You had a beard!

嘿！你演戏了！想不到你会跳舞！你刮掉胡子了！

Joey

Whadja think?

感觉如何？

(Pause)

（停顿）

All

...Hey! You're in a play! I didn't know you could dance! You had a beard!

嘿！你演戏了！想不到你会跳舞！你刮掉胡子了！

Joey

C'mon, you guys, it wasn't that bad. It was better than that thing I did with the trolls, at least you got to see my head.

拜托，没那么糟吧。至少比我和山怪演的那出好，至少你们可以看见我的头。

All

(admitting) Saw your head. Saw your head.

（承认）对没错，我们有看见你的头。

Chandler

(running back) She said yes!! She said yes!! (To Joey) Awful play, man. Whoah. (To All) Her name's Aurora, and she's Italian, and she pronounces my name 'Chand-lrr'. 'Chand-lrr'. I think I like it better that way. (To Joey) Oh, listen, the usher gave me this to give to you. (He fishes a card out of his pocket.)

（跑回来）她答应了！她答应了！（对乔伊）好烂的戏。（对大家）她叫亚萝拉，来自义大利，她叫我“Chandlerrrrrrr”。我喜欢她这样称呼我。（对乔伊）领座员要我把它交给你。（从口袋掏出一张名片。）

Rachel

What is it?

是什么？

Joey

The Estelle Leonard Talent Agency. Wow, an agency left me its card! Maybe they wanna sign me!

Estelle Leonard经纪公司。经纪公司拿名片给我，或许他们想和我签约。

Phoebe

Based on this play? ...Based on this play!

因为这场戏？因为这一场戏！

Chandler

Hey, kids.

嘿，伙计们。

All

Hey.

嘿。

Phoebe

(reading Monica's palm) No, 'cause this line is passion, and this is... just a line.

（看莫妮卡的手相）不，因为这是感情线，而这一条只是普通线。

Chandler

Well, I can't believe I've been here almost seven seconds and you haven't asked me how my date went.

我无法相信，我坐在这儿七秒钟，竟没人问我的约会如何？

Monica

Oh, right, right. How was your date, 'Chand-lrr'?

你的约会如何，钱德？

Chandler

It was unbelievable. I-I've never met anyone like her. She's had the most amazing life! She was in the Israeli army...

真是令人难以置信，我没见过像她那样的人。她的生活真是太令人称羡了。她穿过以色列阵地……

(A flashback of Aurora and Chandler on their date in Central Perk is denoted by italics.)

亚萝拉和钱德勒在中央咖啡馆约会，对话以斜体表示。）

Aurora

...Luckily none of the bullets hit the engine block. So, we made it to the border, but just barely, and I- ...I've been talking about myself all night long, I'm sorry. What about you? Tell me one of your stories.

……幸好子弹没打中引擎，我们才能越过边界，真是有惊无险。我整晚都在谈我自己，抱歉。你呢？说来听听嘛。

Chandler

Alright. Once I got on the subway, right, and it was at night, and I rode it all the way to Brooklyn... just for the hell of it.

有一回晚上我搭地铁，到布鲁克林区，然后活着回来。

Chandler

We talked 'til like two. It was this perfect evening... more or less.

我们一直谈到两点，那真是个美好的夜晚，可以这么说。

Aurora

...All of a sudden we realised we were in Yammon.

……突然我们发现自己身在叶门。

Chandler

Oh, I'm sorry, so 'we' is?

我们？我们是谁？

Aurora

'We' would be me and Rick.

我和瑞克。

Joey

Who's Rick?

瑞克是谁？

Chandler

Who's Rick?

瑞克是谁？

Aurora

My husband.

我丈夫。

All

Ooooohhh.

噢呜呜呜呜。

Chandler

Oh, so you're divorced?

这么说你们已经离婚？

Aurora

No.

没有。

Chandler

Oh, I'm sorry, then you're widowed? ...Hopefully?

对不起，这么说你是寡妇？希望如此？

Aurora

No, I'm still married.

不，我们还是夫妻。

Chandler

So tell me, how do- how do you think your husband would feel about you sitting here with me?... Sliding your foot so far up my pant leg you can count the change in my pocket?

告诉我你丈夫做何感想？你坐在我身旁，脚伸到我大腿，足以数我口袋里的零钱？

Aurora

Don't worry. I imagine he'd be okay with you because really, he's okay with Ethan.

别担心，我想他会接受的，因为他也接受伊森这么做。

Chandler

Ethan? There's, there's an Ethan?

伊森？有伊森这号人物？

Aurora

Mmmm... Ethan is my... boyfriend.

嗯……伊森是我的男友。

All

What?!

什么？！

Chandler

So explain something to me here, uh, what kind of a relationship do you imagine us having if you already have a husband and a boyfriend?

既然你已有丈夫和男友，你期待我们之间会有什么关系？

Aurora

I suppose mainly sexual.

大概是性关系吧。

Chandler

...Hm.

……嗯。

Monica

Oh. I'm sorry it didn't work out.

真是遗憾，你们吹了。

Chandler

What 'not work out'? I'm seeing her again on Thursday. Didn't you listen to the story?

什么吹了？周四我还要和她约会，难道你没听懂？

Monica

Didn't you listen to the story? I mean, this is twisted! How could you get involved with a woman like this?

难道你没听懂？这太离谱了，你怎能和这种女人交往？

Chandler

Well, y'know, I had some trouble with it at first too, but the way I look at it is, I get all the good stuff: all the fun, all the talking, all the sex; and none of the responsibility. I mean, this is every guy's fantasy!

开始我也无法接受，但后来我想此事百益而无一害，只有谈天说笑和做爱，不用负任何责任。这是每个男人的梦想！

Phoebe

Oh, yeah. That is not true. Ross, is this your fantasy?

是吗？未必吧。罗斯，这是你的梦想吗？

Ross

No, of course not! (Thinks) ...Yeah, yeah, it is.

当然不是！（想了想）……没错，是。

Monica

What? So you guys don't mind going out with someone else who's going out with someone else?

你们男生不介意和已有对象的女人交往？

Joey

I couldn't do it.

我办不到。

Monica

Good for you, Joey.

干得好，乔伊。

Joey

When I'm with a woman, I need to know that I'm going out with more people than she is.

和女人交往时，我必须确定我交往的对象比她多。

Ross

Well, y'know, monogamy can be a, uh, tricky concept. I mean, anthropologically speaking-

一夫一妻值得商榷，就人类学的观点而言……

(They all pretend to fall asleep.)

（他们都假装睡着。）

Ross

Fine. Fine, alright, now you'll never know.

行……这是你们的损失。

Monica

We're kidding. C'mon, tell us!

逗你的，告诉我们吧！

All

Yeah! C'mon!

快说，我们想知道！

Ross

Alright. There's a theory, put forth by Richard Leakey-

好吧，理查李奇提出这样的理论……

(They all fall asleep again.)

（他们又都睡着了。）

Rachel

Tah-daaah!

瞧！

Chandler

Are we greeting each other this way now? 'Cause I like that.

现在都这样打招呼吗？我喜欢。

Rachel

Look! I cleaned! I did the windows, I did the floors... I even used all the attachments on the vacuum, except that little round one with the bristles, I don't know what that's for.

我大扫除了！我擦窗户，拖地板，我甚至还用了吸尘器上的所有装置，除了圆形有鬃毛那个之外，因为我不知道用途为何。

Ross

Oh yeah, nobody knows. And we're not supposed to ask.

没人知道，我们也不该问。

Rachel

Well, whaddya think?

你们感觉怎样？

All

Very clean! It looks great! Terrific!

很干净！看起来很棒！

Monica

...Oh! I-I see you moved the green ottoman.

你移动了垫椅。

All

Uh-oh...

完了……

Monica

How-how did that happen?

怎么会呢？

Rachel

I dunno.. I-I thought it looked better there. And I- and also, it's an extra seat around the coffee table.

我不知道，我以为摆那儿会更好看，而且咖啡桌旁就多了一个座位。

Monica

Yeah, yeah, it's interesting.. but y'know what? Just for fun, let's see what it looked like in the old spot. (She moves it.) Alright, just to compare. Let's see. Well, it looks good there too. Let's just leave it there for a while.

这倒有意思，这样好了，只是好玩，我们看它在原来位置的感觉如何。只是做个比较。放那儿也不错，就摆那儿一阵子吧。

Phoebe

(to Rachel) I can't believe you tried to move the green ottoman.

（对瑞秋）我无法相信你竟敢搬动垫椅。

Chandler

Thank God you didn't try to fan out the magazines. I mean, she'll scratch your eyes right out.

幸好你没摊开杂志，否则她铁定会挖出你的眼睛。

Monica

You guys, I am not that bad!

各位，我没那么凶吧。

Phoebe

Yeah, you are, Monica. Remember when I lived with you? You were like, a little, y'know, (psycho) Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree!

你就那么凶，莫妮卡。记得我们住在一起时吗？你就像个……（发疯状）哩！哩！哩！

Monica

That is so unfair!

这太不公平了！

Ross

Oh c'mon! When we were kids, yours was the only Raggedy Ann doll that wasn't raggedy!

拜托，我们小时候，你的“破娃娃”是唯一不破的。

Monica

Okay, so I'm responsible, I'm organised. But hey, I can be a kook.

我有责任感有组织性，可是我也能很懒散。

Ross

Alright, you madcap gal. Try to imagine this. The phone bill arrives, but you don't pay it right away.

电话单来，但你不立刻去交钱。

Monica

Why not?

为什么？

Ross

Because you're a kook! Instead you wait until they send you a notice.

因为你是个大懒人，直拖到他们寄催缴通知单来。

Monica

I could do that.

我可以办到。

Rachel

Okay, uh, you let me go grocery shopping, and I buy laundry detergent, but it's not the one with the easy-pour spout.

你让我去买日常用品，我买了洗衣粉，但是是不容易弄出来那种。

Monica

Why would someone do that?! ...One might wonder.

有人会那样做吗？……有人会想……

Chandler

Someone's left a glass on the coffee table. There's no coaster. It's a cold drink, it's a hot day. Little beads of condensation are inching their way closer and closer to the surface of the wood...

有人在咖啡桌上留下杯子，桌上没有垫子，天气很热，那是一杯冷饮，小水珠逐渐逼近桌面……

Monica

STOP IT!! ...Oh my God. It's true! Who am I?

够了！天啊，没错，我到是谁？

Ross

Monica? You're Mom.

莫妮卡，你是妈妈那样的。

(Monica gasps.)

（莫妮卡倒吸一口气。）

Phoebe

Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree!

哩！哩！哩！哩！哩！

(Joey enters and he's on the phone.)

（乔伊进来，在打电话。）

Joey

(on phone) Uh huh.. uh huh... oh my God! Okay! Okay, I'll be there! (He hangs up and to all.) That was my agent. (He tosses and catches the phone.) My agent has just gotten me a job... in the new Al Pacino movie!

（打电话）嗯……嗯……天啊！好！好，我会到的！（挂断，对大家）我的经纪人打来的。他安排我在艾尔帕西诺的新片中演出。

All

Oh my God! Whoah!

太棒了！

Monica

Well, what's the part?

演什么角色？

Joey

Can you believe this? Al Pacino! This guy's the reason I became an actor! "I'm out of order? Pfeeeh. You're out of order! This whole courtroom's out of order!"

你们能相信吗？是艾尔帕西诺！我就是喜欢他，才立志要当演员。“我失控？你也失控！这整个法庭都失控了！”

Phoebe

Seriously, what-what's the part?

言归正传，什么角色？

Joey

"Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!"

“当我认为已出局时，他们却又将我拉回！”

Ross

C'mon, seriously, Joey, what's the part?

快老实说，什么角色？

Joey

...I'm his (mumbles)

……我是……（咕哝）

Rachel

..You're, you're 'mah mah mah' what?

你是……什么？

Joey

...I'm his butt double. 'Kay? I play Al Pacino's butt. Alright? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt.

我是他臀部的替身。我演艾尔帕西诺的臀部。他走进浴室，然后我就是他的屁股。

Monica

(trying not to laugh) Oh my God.

（忍住笑）天那。

Joey

C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big!

别这样，这是一部艾尔帕西诺主演大制作的电影，别误会，这真是太棒了。

Chandler

Oh no, it's terrific, it's... it's... y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into show business.

这是你应得的，这是你多年努力的成果，你终于能登上大银幕。

Joey

Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me!

行，笑吧，我不在乎！这是我千载难逢的机会！

Ross

You're right, you're right, it is... So you gonna invite us all to the big opening?

没错，你准备邀请我们参加你的首映会吗？

Commercial Break

广告时间

Monica

Alright, alright, alright...

好吧……

(Joey enters with Monica's paper and hands it to her.)

（乔伊拿着莫妮卡的报纸进来，递给她。）

Joey

Here. I need to borrow some moisturizer.

我得向你借些保湿乳液。

Monica

For what?

干什么呢？

Joey

What do you think? Today's the big day!

你认为呢？今天可是我的大日子！

Monica

Oh my God. Okay, go into the bathroom, use whatever you want, just don't ever tell me what you did in there.

好吧，进浴室要用什么自己拿，只是别告诉我你在里面干什么。

Joey

Thank you! (He goes into the bathroom.)

谢谢！（他走进浴室。）

(Chandler enters with the phone.)

（钱德勒拿着电话进来。）

Chandler

Where's Joey? His mom's on the phone.

乔伊在哪儿？他妈打电话来。

Monica

He's in the bathroom. I don't think you wanna go in there!

他在浴室里，你最好别进去。

Chandler

C'mon, we're roommates! (He goes into the bathroom, screams, and runs back out.) My eyes!! My eyes!!

拜托，我们是室友！（他走进浴室，尖叫着跑出来。）我的眼睛！我的眼睛！

Monica

I warned you...

我警告过你……

(Rachel enters from her room.)

（瑞秋从房间出来。）

Rachel

Who is being loud?

谁在大吼大叫？

Chandler

Oh, that would be Monica. Hey, listen, I wanna borrow a couple things, Aurora spent the night, I really wanna make her breakfast.

一定是莫妮卡。我能借点东西吗？萝拉昨晚在这儿过夜，我想为她做早点。

Monica

Oh, you got the whole night, huh?

她陪你一夜？

Chandler

Yeah, well, I only have twenty minutes until Ethan, so, y'know.. (He starts to raid the fridge.)

没错，我们只剩20分钟，直到伊森……（他开始翻冰箱。）

Rachel

Ooh, do I sense a little bit of resentment?

难道你后悔了？

Chandler

No, no resentment, believe me, it's worth it. 'Kay? Y'know in a relationship you have these key moments that you know you'll remember for the rest of your life? Well, every- single- second is like that with Aurora.. and I've just wasted about thirty-five of them talking to you people, so, uh.. Monica, can you help me with the door? (He has armloads of stuff.)

当然不后悔，相信我，绝对值得。在你交往的过程中，有多少重要的时刻会让你怀念一辈子？与萝拉相处的每一秒都是，而我已浪费35秒和你们说话。莫妮卡请帮我开门。（他抱着一堆东西。）

Monica

Sure. Oh, um, Chandler? Y'know, the-the old Monica would-would remind you to scrub that Teflon pan with a plastic brush... But I'm not gonna do that.

当然。钱德，老莫妮卡会提醒你用塑胶刷刷铁弗龙锅，但我不会那么做的。

(She opens the door and he leaves.)

（她打开门，他离开。）

Director

(on phone)...Dammit, hire the girl! (He hangs up the phone.) Okay, everybody ready?

（打电话）……该死的，请个女人算了！（挂断电话。）大家准备好没？

Joey

Uh, listen, I just wanna thank you for this great opportunity.

我只是想感谢你给我这个机会。

Director

Lose the robe.

解开浴袍。

Joey

Me?

我？

Director

That would work.

这样才能演。

Joey

Right. Okay. Losing the robe. (He takes off the robe.) And the robe is lost.

好，我正解开浴袍。（脱下浴袍）浴袍已解开。

Director

Okay, everybody, we'd like to get this in one take, please. Let's roll it.. water's working (The shower starts).. and... action.

各位，我想一次解决。来吧，放水（淋浴喷头出水）……开始！

(Joey starts to the shower with a grim, determined look on his face.)

（乔伊表情严峻、坚定地走向淋浴。）

Director

And cut. Hey, Butt Guy, what the hell are you doing?

停。屁股男，你在干什么？

Joey

Well, I'm- I'm showering.

我在洗澡。

Director

No, that was clenching.

不，你在挤屁股。

Joey

Oh. Well, the way I see it, the guy's upset here, y'know? I mean, his wife's dead, his brother's missing... I think his butt would be angry here.

我认为他很沮丧，他的太太死了，弟弟失踪了，我想他的屁股一定很愤怒。

Director

I think his butt would like to get this shot before lunch. Once again, rolling... water working... and action.... and cut. What was that?

我想他的屁股会想在午餐前杀青。再来一次，开机，放水，开始……停。你又在干什么？

Joey

I was going for quiet desperation. But if you have to ask...

我要表现出绝望，但如果你想问……

Chandler

God, I love these fingers...

天啊，我爱这些手指……

Aurora

Thank you.

谢谢。

Chandler

No, actually I meant my fingers. Look at 'em, look at how happy they are.

不，我是指我的手指。你瞧它们多开心。

Aurora

(moves Chandler's arm and looks at his watch.) Oh my God, I'm late. (She starts to get up.)

（挪开钱德勒的胳膊看手表）天啊，我来不及了。（开始起身。）

Chandler

Oh no nonononononnononono, don't go.. (He kisses her and pulls her back down.)

不，别走……（亲吻她，把她拉回来。）

Aurora

Okay.

好吧。

Chandler

Don't go.

别走。

Aurora

Okay. Oh no, I have to.

好吧。哦不，我得走了。

Chandler

(to himself) Too bad, she's leaving.

（自言自语）糟糕，她要走了。

Aurora

(getting up and dressing) I'm sorry. He'll be waiting for me.

（起身穿衣）抱歉，他在等我了。

Chandler

Well, I thought- I thought you talked to Rick.

我以为你和瑞克谈过。

Aurora

It's not Rick.

不是瑞克。

Chandler

What, Ethan? He got to spend the whole day with you!

什么？是伊森？他要陪你一整天！

Aurora

No, it's-it's Andrew.

不是他，是安德鲁。

Chandler

I know there'll be many moments in the years to come when I'll regret asking the following question, but- And Andrew is?

我知道我会后悔问你这个问题，安德鲁是谁？

Aurora

He's... new.

新欢。

Chandler

Oh, so what you're saying is you're not completely fulfilled by Rick, Ethan and myself?

你是说瑞克、伊森和我，三人还不能满足你？

Aurora

No, that's not exactly what I was..

我以前不是这种人……

Chandler

Well, y'know, most women would kill for three guys like us.

我们三人不知迷死多少女人。

Aurora

So what do you want?

你想要什么？

Chandler

You.

你。

Aurora

You have me!

你已拥有我！

Chandler

No no, just you.

不，只是你。

Aurora

Whaddyou mean?

什么意思？

Chandler

Lose the other guys.

甩掉其他人。

Aurora

...Like, ...all of them?

他们全部？

Chandler

C'mon, we're great together, why not?

我们这样不是很快乐吗？为什么不行？

Aurora

Why can't we just have what we have now? Why can't we just talk, and laugh, and make love, without feeling obligated to one another... and up until tonight I thought that's what you wanted too.

我们为何不能及时行乐？为何不能只是彼此没有任何负担？今晚之前，我以为这也是你想要的。

Chandler

...Well, y'know, part of me wants that, but it's like I'm two guys, y'know? I mean, one guy's going 'Shut up! This is great!' But there's this other guy. Actually it's the same guy that wells up every time that Grinch's heart grows three sizes and breaks that measuring device... And he's saying, y'know, 'This is too hard! Get out! Get out!'

部分的我想要，但我就像是双面人，一个说“闭嘴，及时行乐”，还有另一个，他每回都挺身而出仗义直言，他说“这太丑陋了，快脱身”。

Aurora

So... which one of the two guys will you listen to?

你听哪一个的话？

Chandler

I don't know, I-I have to listen to both of them, they don't exactly let each other finish...

我不知道，两人的话我得都听，他们争执不休。

Aurora

Which one?

哪一个？

Chandler

...The second guy.

第二个。

Aurora

(gets up to leave) Well, call me if you change your mind.

（起身要走）好吧，改变主意后再打电话给我吧。

(She kisses him, he holds her, and kisses her passionately.)

（她吻他，他抱住她，热情地回吻。）

Chandler

Sorry, the first guy runs the lips.

抱歉，第一个动口。

(She leaves, Chandler sighs, and falls back on his bed.)

（她离开，钱德勒叹气，倒在床上。）

Ross

Look at it this way: you dumped her. Right? I mean, this woman was unbelievably sexy, and beautiful, intelligent, unattainable... Tell me why you did this again?

这样想吧，你把她甩了。这女人性感、美丽、聪明而且遥不可及，再告诉我一次，你为何这么做？

(Joey enters.)

（乔伊进来。）

All

Hey!

电影明星他回来了！

Monica

Hey, wait wait, aren't you the guy that plays the butt in the new Al Pacino movie?

等等，你不是在艾尔帕西诺新片中演屁股的那个？

Joey

Nope.

不是。

Ross

No? What happened, big guy?

不是？怎么了，大个儿？

Chandler

(to Ross) "Big guy?"

（对罗斯）“大个儿？”

Ross

It felt like a 'big guy' moment.

感觉就像“大个儿”时刻。

Joey

I got fired.

我被开除了。

All

Oh!

哦！

Joey

Yeah, they said I acted too much with it. I told everybody about this! Now everybody's gonna go to the theatre, expecting to see me, and...

没错，他们说我太投入了。我到处宣扬，现在大家都想到戏院看我演……

Rachel

Oh, Joey, you know what, no-one is gonna be able to tell.

乔伊，没人会认出来的。

Joey

My mom will.

我妈就认得出来。

Chandler

Something so sweet and...disturbing about that.

真是令人感动又呕心。

Joey

Y'know, I've done nothing but crappy plays for six years. And I finally get my shot, and I blow it!

六年来我除了演些烂角色一事无成，如今机会来了我竟将它搞砸。

Monica

Maybe this wasn't your shot.

等等，或许这不是你的机会。

Ross

Yeah, I mean... I think when it's your shot, y'know, you-you know it's your shot. Did it... feel like your shot..?

机会是否来临自己最清楚，你感觉这是你的机会吗？

Joey

Hard to tell, I was naked.

很难分辨，我当时全身赤裸。

Phoebe

No, I don't think this was your shot. I mean, I don't even think you just get one shot. I really believe big things are gonna happen for you, I do! You've gotta just keep thinking about the day that some kid is gonna run up to his friends and go 'I got the part! I got the part! I'm gonna be Joey Tribbiani's ass!'

我不认为这是你唯一的机会。你的机会不会只有一个，我相信大好机会就降临到你身上，你必须想着将来有个小伙子跑到朋友面前说“我被录取了！我要演乔伊的屁股！”

Joey

Yeah? That's so nice! (They hug.)

你真好！（他们拥抱。）

(Ross and Chandler look at each other and hug as well.)

（罗斯和钱德勒对视，也拥抱起来。）

Monica

I'm sorry, Joey. I'm gonna go to bed, guys.

真遗憾，乔伊。各位，我要去睡了。

All

Night.

晚安。

Rachel

Uh, Mon, you-you gonna leave your shoes out here?

莫，你要把鞋子留在这儿？

Monica

(determined) Uh-huh!

（坚决）嗯哼！

Rachel

Really? Just casually strewn about in that reckless haphazard manner?

真的？就这样乱丢？

Monica

Doesn't matter, I'll get 'em tomorrow. Or not. Whenever. (She goes to her room.)

无所谓，我明天再拿，或者算了，随便。（她走进自己的房间。）

Ross

She is a kook.

她真懒散。

Closing Credits

片尾

Monica

(hums for a while, then gives up, and in her head) If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. No. Don't do this. This is stupid! I don't have to prove anything, I'm gonna go get them... But then everyone will know. Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back! ...I need help! (She buries her head in her pillow.)

（哼了一会儿，放弃，心里想）既然这么困扰，就快去拿吧。不，千万别去，太愚蠢了。我无须证明什么，我要去拿。但如此一来他们都会知道，除非我去拿然后早起放回去……谁来帮我一把！（她把头埋进枕头。）

End

剧终