The One With the East German Laundry Detergent

Monica

Would you let it go? It's not that big a deal.

别再争好吗？这又没什么大不了的。

Ross

Not that big a deal? It's amazing. Ok, you just reach in there, there's one little maneuver, and bam, a bra right out the sleeve. All right, as far as I'm concerned, there is nothing a guy can do that even comes close. Am I right?

没什么大不了？这简直是太神奇了。只不过是用手伸进去，轻轻一碰，就把胸罩解开从袖子里抽出来。据我所知，男生即使靠得再近也做不到。我说得对不对？

Rachel

Come on! You guys can pee standing up.

拜托，男生可以站着尿。

Chandler

We can? All right, I'm tryin' that.

我们行吗？我倒要试试看。

Joey

Ok, you know what blows my mind? Women can see breasts any time they want. You just look down and there they are. How you get any work done is beyond me.

知道什么最令我嫉妒？女人随时都可以看自己的胸部，低头就看到。真搞不懂你们怎么会有心工作。

Phoebe

Oh, ok, you know what I don't get? The way guys can do so many mean things, and then not even care.

知道我搞不懂什么吗？男人可以做许多下流的事，却能毫不在乎。

(Long pause.)

（漫长的停顿。）

Ross

Multiple orgasms!

多重高潮！

Opening Credits

片头

Chandler

So, Saturday night, the big night, date night, Saturday night, Sat-ur-day night!

了不起，周末夜，重要的夜晚，约会的夜晚，周末夜！周末夜！

Joey

No plans, huh?

没有计划是吗？

Chandler

Not a one.

一个都没有。

Ross

Not even, say, breaking up with Janice?

连和珍妮丝分手的打算都没有？

Chandler

Oh, right, right, shut up.

对……闭嘴。

Monica

Chandler, nobody likes breaking up with someone. You just gotta do it.

钱德，没有人喜欢分手，但你还是要做呀。

Chandler

No, I know, but it's just so hard, you know? I mean, you're sitting there with her, she has no idea what's happening, and then you finally get up the courage to do it, and there's the horrible awkward moment when you've handed her the note.

我知道很难。我的意思是，你坐在她身旁而她却一无所知，最后你鼓起勇气，在这实在尴尬的时刻，当你把纸条拿给她……

Joey

Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man, just stop calling.

干嘛分手？争气点，不再打电话就行了。

Phoebe

You know, if you want, I'll do it with you.

如果愿意，我和你一起做。

Chandler

Oh, thanks, but I think she'd feel like we're gangin' up on her.

谢了，但这样她会认为我们是联手来对付她。

Phoebe

No, I mean you break up with Janice and I'll break up with Tony.

你和珍妮丝分手，我和东尼分手。

Ross

Tony?

东尼？

Monica

Oh, you're breaking up with Tony?

你要和东尼分手？

Phoebe

Yeah, I know, he's sweet, but it's just not fun anymore, you know? I don't know if it's me, or his hunger strike, or, I don't know.

对，我知道他人很好。但是我对他再没新鲜感了。我不知道问题是在于我，还是他的绝食抗议，我不知道。

Rachel

(waitressing) Does anybody want anything else?

（当服务生）还有人需要什么吗？

Ross

Oh, yeah, last week you had a wonderful, nutty, chocolatey kind of a cakey pie thing. (Rachel gives him a dirty look) Nothing, just, just, I'm fine.

我，上星期你做了有核果、巧克力之类的派……（瑞秋瞪他）没事，我还好。

Phoebe

(to Rachel) What's the matter? Why so scrunchy?

（对瑞秋）怎么啦，怪怪的？

Rachel

It's my father. He wants to give me a Mercedes convertible.

是我爸，他要买奔驰敞篷车给我。

Ross

That guy, he burns me up.

那家伙真叫我生气。

Rachel

Yeah, well, it's a Mercedes if I move back home. Oh, it was horrible. He called me young lady.

如果想要奔驰，我就得搬回家。太可恶了，他称我为“年轻的女士”。

Chandler

Ooh, I hate when my father calls me that.

我最受不了我爸这样叫我。

Monica

Did he give you that whole "You're-not-up-to-this" thing again?

他是不是又说你年纪太轻之类的话？

Rachel

Oh, yeah, yeah. Actually, I got the extended disco version, with three choruses of "You'll never make it on your own".

对，这次是迪斯科加长版，带着三重唱说“你永远不能自立”。

Phoebe

(rhythmically) Uh-huh, uh-huh.

（有节奏地）嗯哼，嗯哼。

(Angela, a beautiful woman in a tight dress, enters.)

（安琪拉，一个穿着紧身裙的漂亮女人，进来。）

Angela

Hi, Joey.

嘿，乔伊。

Joey

My god, Angela.

天呀，安琪拉。

(Angela takes a seat at the counter.)

（安琪拉在吧台坐下。）

Monica

Wow, being dumped by you obviously agrees with her.

被你甩掉对她大有好处。

Phoebe

Are you gonna go over there?

你想过去吗？

Joey

No, yeah, no, ok, but not yet. I don't wanna seem too eager. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi. That seems pretty cool. (he walks over to her) Hey, Angela.

不想……想……不想，待会再说，我不想显得太急于见她。一个密西西比，两个密西西比，三个密西西比，这样显得比较酷。（走过去）安琪拉。

Angela

(casually) Joey.

（随意地）乔伊。

Joey

You look good.

你的样子真好。

Angela

That's because I'm wearing a dress that accents my boobs.

因为我的衣服突显出我的胸部。

Joey

You don't say.

看得出来。

(Cut to Ross and Rachel, talking next to one of the tables.)

（切到罗斯和瑞秋，在桌子旁边交谈。）

Ross

So, uh, Rachel, what are you, uh, what're you doing tonight?

瑞秋，你今晚有何节目？

Rachel

Oh, big glamour night. Me and Monica at Laundorama.

精彩丰富，我和莫妮卡要去洗衣店。

Ross

Oh, you uh, you wanna hear a freaky coincidence? Guess who's doing laundry there too?

想知道有个巧合吗？猜猜谁也要去洗衣店？

Rachel

Who?

谁？

Ross

Me. Was that not clear? Hey, why don't, um, why don't I just join you both, here?

我。难道还不够清楚？何不让我加入你们？

Rachel

Don't you have a laundry room in your building?

你的公寓没有洗衣间吗？

Ross

Yes, I do have a laundry room in my building, um, but there's a.... rat problem. Apparently they're attracted to the dryer sheets, and they're goin' in fine, but they're comin' out all.... fluffy. Anyway, say, sevenish?

有，我的公寓有洗衣间。不过，那儿有老鼠。它们显然对烘干机里的香香纸感兴趣，进入时还好，出来时却毛绒绒的。7点左右见？

Rachel

Sure.

好吧。

(Cut back to Joey and Angela at the counter.)

（切回乔伊和安琪拉在吧台。）

Angela

Forget it Joey. I'm with Bob now.

免了，乔伊。我现在和鲍伯交往。

Joey

Bob? Who the hell's Bob?

鲍伯？谁是鲍伯？

Angela

Bob is great. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. You, you go on three auditions a month and you call yourself an actor, but Bob...

鲍伯简直是棒透了。聪明，成熟，又有真正的工作。你每个月面试三次就称自己是演员，但是鲍伯……

Joey

Come on, we were great together. And not just at the fun stuff, but like, talking too.

我们在一起时很开心，不只是寻欢作乐，我们也聊得来。

Angela

Yeah, well, sorry, Joe. You said let's just be friends, so guess what?

没错，不过抱歉，乔。你曾说我们当朋友就好，那么？

Joey

What?

什么？

Angela

We're just friends.

我们只是朋友。

Joey

Fine, fine, so, why don't the four of us go out and have dinner together tonight? You know, as friends?

行，我们四个何不一起出去吃晚饭？就像朋友一样？

Angela

What four of us?

哪四个？

Joey

You know, you and Bob, and me and my girlfriend, uh, uh, Monica.

你和鲍伯，我和我的女友……莫妮卡。

Joey

Monica, I'm tellin' you, this guy is perfect for you.

莫妮卡，他绝对适合你。

Monica

Forget it. Not after your cousin who could belch the alphabet.

算了吧。从你那会啧出字母块的表兄之后，我再也不敢领教了。

Joey

Come on. This guy's great. His name's Bob. He's Angela's... brother. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. Me, I go on three auditions a month and call myself an actor, but Bob is...

没骗你，他真的很棒。他叫鲍伯，安琪拉的哥哥。鲍伯简直是棒透了，聪明，成熟，又有真正的工作。我呢，我每个月面试三次就称自己是演员，但是鲍勃……

Monica

(looking out window) Oh, god help us.

（看窗外）我的天哪。

Joey

What?

什么？

Monica

Ugly Naked Guy's laying kitchen tile. Eww!

丑陋的裸男在铺厨房磁砖。呃！

Joey

Eww! Look, I'm asking a favor here. If I do this for her brother, maybe Angela will come back to me.

呃！我在求你帮忙。如果我能为她哥哥做点事，或许她会回到我身旁。

Monica

What's going on here? You go out with tons of girls.

你是怎么了？你和千百个女人约会。

Joey

(proud) I know, but, I made a huge mistake. I never should have broken up with her. Will you help me? Please?

（骄傲）我知道，但我犯了天大的错误，我不该和她分手。愿意帮我吗？求求你。

Ross

(on phone) Ok, bye. (hangs up) Well, Monica's not coming, it's just gonna be me and Rachel.

（打电话）好，再见。（挂断）莫妮卡不能去了，现在只剩我和瑞秋。

Chandler

Oh. Well, hold on camper, are you sure you've thought this thing through?

等等，老兄，你确定自己仔细想过？

Ross

It's laundry. The thinking through is minimal.

只是去洗衣店，没仔细想过。

Chandler

It's just you and Rachel, just the two of you? This is a date. You're going on a date.

你是说只有你和瑞秋两个？这叫约会，你们要去约会。

Ross

Nuh-uh.

不对。

Chandler

Yuh-huh.

没错的。

Ross

So what're you saying here? I should shave again, pick up some wine, what?

你说我该怎么办？该再刮刮胡子或挑瓶美酒？

Chandler

Well, you may wanna rethink the dirty underwear. This is basically the first time she's gonna see your underwear---you want it to be dirty?

或许你该再考虑你那肮脏的内衣裤。这是她首度见到你的内衣裤，想让她看见你那肮脏的内衣裤吗？

Ross

(sheepish) No.

（尴尬）不想。

Chandler

Oh, and uh, the fabric softener?

还有衣物柔软精？

Ross

Ok, ok, now what is wrong with my Snuggles? What, it says I'm a sensitive, warm kinda guy, you know, like a warm, fuzzy bear. Ok, I can pick something else up on the way.

我的熊宝贝又怎么了？这代表我敏感、贴心，就像一只毛绒绒的熊宝贝。好吧，我在路上买就是了。

Chandler

There you go.

这才对路。

Monica

Thank you. So what does this Bob guy look like? Is he tall? Short?

谢谢，鲍伯长什么样？到底是高还是矮？

Joey

Yep.

是的。

Monica

Which?

什么？

Joey

Which what?

什么什么？

Monica

You've never met Bob, have you?

你没和鲍伯见过面，对不？

Joey

No, but he's...

对，可是……

Monica

Oh my god, Joey, for all we know this guy could be horribly...

拜托，这家伙可能相当……

(Angela and Bob walk in. Bob is good-looking.)

（安琪拉和鲍伯走进来。鲍伯很帅。）

Angela

Hey, Joey.

嘿，乔伊。

Monica

...horribly attractive. I'll be shutting up now.

……相当吸引人。我闭嘴就是了。

Chandler

Where are they? Where are they?

他们在哪儿？他们在哪儿？

Phoebe

This is nice. We never do anything just the two of us.

感觉真好，我们俩从未独处过。

Chandler

It's great. Maybe tomorrow we can rent a car and run over some puppies.

对，或许明天我们可以租辆车撞几只小狗。

Phoebe

Eww, I don't wanna do that.

我不想那样。

(Janice and Phoebe's boyfriend, Tony, walk in.)

（珍妮丝和菲比的男友东尼走进来。）

Chandler

Here we go.

她来了。

Phoebe

Ok, have a good break-up.

祝你有个愉快的分手。

Chandler

Hey, Janice.

珍妮丝。

Janice

Oh, my god, I am so glad you called me. I had the most supremely awful day.

真高兴你打电话给我。我从来没这么悲惨的一天。

Chandler

Hey, that's not good. Can I get an espresso and a latte over here, please?

不妙。能端杯浓缩咖啡和拿铁来吗？

Janice

We got the proofs back from that photo shoot, you know, the one with the little vegetables. Anyway, they pretty much sucked, so, I blew off the rest of the day, and I went shopping...(looks through her bags)... and I got you, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking, I got you...

我们刚在摄影小站拍了照，有几颗蔬菜的那个。总之那些蔬菜烂透了，我的整个下午就这样毁了，我去逛街购物……然后就为你买了……让我找找……让我找找……我为你……

(Chandler sees Phoebe breaking up with Tony. She talks to him for a few seconds, hugs him, and then he leaves. Chandler is amazed how easy it was for her.)

（钱德勒看到菲比和东尼分手。她和他说了几句话，拥抱他，然后他离开。钱德勒惊讶于她分手如此容易。）

Chandler

What?

什么？

Janice

What?

什么？

Chandler

(covering) What... did you get me there?

（掩饰）你帮我买什么？

Janice

I got you...these. (pulls out a pair of socks)

我帮你买……这个。（拿出一双袜子）

Chandler

Bullwinkle socks. That's so sweet.

布文哥袜。真可爱。

Janice

Well, I knew you had the Rockys, and so I figured, you know, you can wear Bullwinkle and Bullwinkle, or you can wear Rocky and Rocky, or, you can mix and match, moose and squirrel. Whatever you want.

我知道你已有洛基，所以我想你可以穿一双布文哥，或穿一双洛基，或混着穿，随你高兴。

Chandler

That's great.

很好。

(The drinks arrive, and Chandler downs his espresso in one gulp.)

（饮料送来，钱德勒一口干了他的浓缩咖啡。）

Chandler

Well, I'm gonna get another espresso. Can I get you another latte?

我再去叫一杯浓缩咖啡。想再来一杯拿铁吗？

Janice

(holding the full cup) No, no, I'm still working on mine.

（拿着满杯）不用了，我的还没喝完。

(Chandler walks over to the counter where Phoebe is, and is asking her about the break-up.)

（钱德勒走到菲比所在的吧台，问她分手的事。）

Chandler

That's it?

就这样？

Phoebe

Yeah, it was really hard.

对，真的很难。

Chandler

Oh, yeah, that hug looked pretty brutal.

哦，是么，那个拥抱看起来还真绝情呢。

Phoebe

Ok, you weren't there.

你又不是当事人！

Woman

Comin' through. Move, move.

借过，让开……

Rachel

Oh, 'scuse me. I was kinda using that machine.

抱歉，我似乎用这台洗衣机。

Woman

Yeah, well, now you're kinda not.

是吗？不过现在“似乎”不是了。

Rachel

But I saved it. I put my basket on top.

但是我占位置了，我放了篮子在上面。

Woman

Oh, I'm sorry, is that your basket? It's really pretty. Unfortunately, I don't see suds.

抱歉，这是你的篮子吗？真漂亮，但是我没看到肥皂水。

Rachel

What?

什么？

Woman

No suds, no save. Ok?

没肥皂水就不算保留，行吗？

(Ross arrives.)

（罗斯来了。）

Ross

What's goin' on?

怎么了？

Rachel

Hi, uh, nothing. That horrible woman just took my machine.

没什么。这位凶婆娘抢了我的洗衣机。

Ross

Was your basket on top?

你有把篮子放上面吗？

Rachel

Yeah, but, there were no suds.

有，但是没有肥皂水。

Ross

So?

然后呢？

Rachel

Well, you know, no suds, no save.

没肥皂水就不算保留。

Ross

No suds? Excuse me, hold on a second. (to woman) That's my friend's machine.

没肥皂水？抱歉，等等。（对老妇人）这是我朋友用的机器。

Woman

Hey, hey, hey, her stuff wasn't in it.

她的东西没在里面。

Ross

Hey, hey, hey, that's not the rule and you know it.

你明知规矩不是这样的。

(The woman and Ross stare at each other. Finally she takes her stuff out of the machine and leaves.)

（老妇人和罗斯对视。最后她把东西拿出洗衣机离开。）

Ross

(to the crowd in the laundromat) All right, show's over. Nothing to see here. (to Rachel) Ok, let's do laundry.

（对洗衣店里的人群）表演结束，没什么好看的。（对瑞秋）洗衣服吧。

Rachel

That was amazing. I can't even send back soup.

这简直是太神奇了，我连汤都不敢退。

Ross

Well, that's because you're such a sweet, gentle, uh... Do you, uh, do you... Oh, hey, uh you must need detergent.

因为你是个既温柔又可爱的……你得用洗衣粉。

(Ross pulls out a huge box of laundry detergent.)

（罗斯拿出一大盒洗衣粉。）

Rachel

What's that?

那是什么？

Ross

Uberveiss. It's new, it's German, it's extra-tough.

乌伯怀斯，来自德国的新产品，洗净力超强。

(Rachel starts to load her clothes.)

（瑞秋开始把衣服放进洗衣机。）

Ross

Rach, do you uh, are you gonna separate those?

瑞秋，你准备分开洗吗？

Rachel

Oh god. Oh, am I being like a total laundry spaz? I mean, am I supposed to use like one machine for shirts and another machine for pants?

我像个洗衣大白痴。我得用一台洗衬衣，用另一台洗裤子吗？

Ross

Rach, have you never done this before?

你没洗过衣服？

Rachel

Well, not myself, but I know other people that have. Ok, you caught me. I'm a laundry virgin.

没有，但我认识这样洗过的人。好吧，被你发现了，我“第一次”洗衣服。

Ross

Uh, well, don't worry, I'll use the gentle cycle. Ok, um, basically you wanna use one machine for all your whites, a whole nother machine for colors, and a third for your uh, your uh, delicates, and that would be your bras and your under-panty things.

别担心，我会用“轻柔”循环。你得用一台洗你全部的白衣，另一台洗其他颜色的衣服，第三台洗贴身……胸罩和内裤之类的。

Rachel

(holds a pair of panties in front of Ross) Ok, Well, what about these are white cotton panties. Would they go with whites or delicates?

（举着一条内裤在罗斯面前）这些棉质的白色内裤呢？与白衣还是贴身衣物一起洗？

Ross

(visibly nervous) Uh, that, that, that would be a judgment call.

（明显紧张）随便你啰。

Monica

(to Joey) He is so cute. (to Angela and Bob) So, where did you guys grow up?

（对乔伊）他好可爱。（对安琪拉和鲍伯）你们在哪儿长大？

Angela

Brooklyn Heights.

布鲁克林。

Bob

Cleveland.

克里佛兰。

Monica

How, how did that happen?

怎么会这样？

Joey

Oh my god.

哎哟。

Monica

What?

什么？

Joey

I suddenly had the feeling that I was falling. But I'm not.

我突然有种……坠落的感觉，但是没有。

Commercial Break

广告时间

Joey

So, you and Angela, huh?

你和安琪拉在一起？

Bob

Yep. Pretty much.

差不多。

Joey

You're a lucky man. You know what I miss the most about her? That cute nibbly noise when she eats. Like a happy little squirrel, or a weasel.

你真幸运。知道我最想念她什么？她吃东西时轻啃的声音，好像是快乐的小松鼠，或是鼬。

Bob

Huh, I never really noticed.

我倒是没注意过。

Joey

Oh, yeah, yeah, listen for it.

以后注意听。

Bob

Monica, Monica is great.

莫妮卡，莫妮卡很好。

Joey

Yeah, but it's not gonna last. She's too much for me in bed. Sexually.

没错，不过不会维持很久。她在床上我应付不了，性方面。

Monica

I've gotta tell you, Bob is terrific.

我得告诉你，鲍伯简直是太棒了。

Angela

Yeah, isn't he?

可不是吗。

Monica

It is so great to meet a guy who is smart and funny, and has an emotional age beyond, like eight.

能遇上聪明幽默，心智年龄超过八岁的人真棒。

Angela

You know what else? He's unbelievable in bed.

知道吗？他的床上更是一流。

Monica

Wow. My brother never even told me when he lost his virginity.

哇。我哥从未告诉我他何时失去童贞。

Angela

Huh. That's nice.

真好。

Phoebe

Ok, you can do this. It's just like pulling off a Band-aid. Just do it really fast, and then the wound is exposed.

你能办到的。这就像是拔绷带一样，快速拔起露出伤口。

(Chandler walks back to couch, where Janice is.)

（钱德勒走回沙发，珍妮丝在那儿。）

Chandler

Janice. Hi, Janice. Ok, here we go. I don't think we should go out anymore. Janice.

珍妮丝……管他的，我想我们不该再交往下去了。珍妮丝。

Janice

All right. Well, there you go. (she gets extremely wound up, and begins to try and calm herself down) Stop it, stop it, stop it.

我知道了……停下来，停下来……

Rachel

Ok, I know this is gonna sound really stupid, but I feel that if I can do this, you know, if I can actually do my own laundry, there isn't anything I can't do.

我知道这听起来很可笑，但我想我可以洗衣服的话，我就没有办不到的事。

Ross

That does not sound stupid to me. You know, it's like the first time I had to make dinner for myself, after Carol left me? (the buzzer on the washer goes off) I'm sorry, that's all the time we have. Next on Ross...(opens up the washer) Uh-oh.

我一点都不觉得可笑。太好了。就像卡罗尔离开后，我第一次动手做晚饭……（洗衣机铃响）抱歉，时间到。下集再来谈罗斯……（打开洗衣机）哦哦。

Rachel

What uh-oh?

怎么了？

Ross

(not wanting to tell her) Uh-oh, uh-oh, the laundry's done. It's, uh, it's a song. The laundry song that we sing. (singing) Uh-oh the laundry's done, uh-oh, uh-oh.

（不想告诉她）衣服洗好了，这是一首歌，我们唱的一首洗衣歌。（唱）衣服洗好了，哦哦。

Rachel

Ross, what's the matter?

罗斯，到底怎么了？

Ross

Nothing, nothing. Lee-lo, the laundry's done.

没事，衣服洗好了……

Rachel

Come on, show me.

快给我看。

Ross

All right, all right, it's just that you left a red sock in with all your whites, and now, everything's kinda pink.

好吧，你把一只红袜放到白色衣物里面了，所以白衣全变成粉红色。

Rachel

Oh, everything's pink.

全变成粉红色？

Ross

Yeah, uh, except for the red sock, which is still red. I'm sorry, please don't be upset, it could happen to anyone.

对，但红袜还是红袜。抱歉，千万别伤心，任何人都可能发生这种事。

Rachel

Except it didn't. It happened to me. Oh, god, I'm gonna look like a big marshmallow peep. What am I doing? What am I doing? My father's right. I can't live on my own! I can't even do laundry!

不，它只发生在我身上。我穿这些看来会像一只粉红猪。我爸说得对，我无法独立生活，我连洗衣服都不会！

(The woman who had tried to steal the washing machine walks by, and laughs.)

（之前想抢洗衣机的那位老妇人走过，笑了。）

Monica

Something went wrong with Underdog, and they couldn't get his head to inflate. So anyway, um, his head is like flopping down Broadway, right, and I'm just thinking... how inappropriate this is. Um, I've got something in my eye, uh, Joey, could we check it in the light, please?

狗气球出了意外，他的头无法膨胀。于是他的头就落在百老汇，我心想这实在太不像话了。有东西跑进我眼睛，乔伊，能到灯下帮我看看吗？

(Her and Joey walk away from the table.)

（她和乔伊离开桌子。）

Monica

Oh my god.

我的天呀！

Joey

What?

怎么啦？

Monica

Hello! Were we at the same table? It's like... cocktails in Appalachia.

我们是坐在同一桌吗？这太离谱了。

Joey

Come on, they're close.

拜托，他们姐弟感情很好。

Monica

Close? She's got her tongue in his ear.

感情很好？她舌头都伸进了他的耳朵。

Joey

Oh, like you've never gotten a little rambunctious with Ross.

你和罗斯就不会有小动作？

Monica

Joey, this is sick, it's disgusting, it's, it's---not really true, is it?

乔伊，这是病态，太恶心了。这不是真的，对不？

Joey

Well, who's to say what's true? I mean...

谁说是真的？

Monica

Oh my god, what were you thinking?

你到底在想什么？

Joey

All right, look, I'm not proud of this, ok? Well, maybe I am a little.

好吧，我也不喜欢这样，或许有一点。

Monica

(hits him lightly) Oh!

（轻打他）哦！

Joey

Ow!

噢！

Monica

(leaving) I'm outta here.

（离开）我要走了。

Joey

Wait, wait, wait. You want him, I want her. He likes you.

等等，你喜欢他，我要她，他喜欢你。

Monica

Really?

真的？

Joey

Yeah. I'm thinking, if we put our heads together, between the two of us, we can break them up.

没错。我想只要我们一起想办法，就能让他们分开。

Monica

I'm so sorry, I can't believe I did this, but I couldn't stop laughing at your Norman Mailer story.

真是抱歉没想到我会这样，你的故事让我笑得嘴巴合不拢。

(Angela is eating chicken wings and making the weasel-like noise Joey had told Bob about.)

（安琪拉在吃鸡翅，发出乔伊之前告诉鲍伯的那种鼬一样的声音。）

Joey

Uh, waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here.

服务生，再来一盘鸡翅。

Chandler

Here's the thing, Janice. You know, I mean, it's like we're different. I'm like the bing, bing, bing. You're like the boom, boom, (Chandler flails his hand out and hits Janice in the eye)... boom.

珍妮丝，我们是不同类型的人。我的声音就好像丁丁丁，你的声音就好像梆梆梆……梆。

Janice

Ow!

噢！

Chandler

Oh, my god, I'm so sorry. Are you ok?

糟了，抱歉。你没事吧？

Janice

Ow. Um, it's just my lens. It's just my lens. I'll be right back.

没事，只是我的隐形眼镜。等会儿就没事了，我马上回来。

(She leaves.)

（她离开。）

Chandler

(to Phoebe) I hit her in the eye! I hit her in the eye! This is the worst break-up in the history of the world.

（对菲比）我打中她的眼睛！这是有史以来世上最糟糕的分手。

Phoebe

Oh my god. (Chandler downs another espresso.) How many of those have you had?

我的天。（钱德勒又喝掉一杯浓缩咖啡。）你到底喝了几杯？

Chandler

Oh, I don't know, a million?

我也不知道，百万杯？

Phoebe

Chandler, easy, easy. Go to your happy place. La la la la la la la.

钱德，放轻松。快回到你的快乐天堂，啦啦啦啦啦。

Chandler

I'm fine.

我没事。

Phoebe

All right.

好吧。

(Janice returns from the bathroom.)

（珍妮丝从洗手间回来。）

Chandler

I'm not fine. Here she comes.

不妙，她回来了。

Phoebe

Wait here. Breathe.

在这儿等着，深呼吸。

(Phoebe goes over to speak to Janice. She talks to her for a few seconds, and then Janice immediately smiles, hugs her, waves to Chandler, and leaves.)

（菲比走过去和珍妮丝说话。她和她说了一会儿，珍妮丝立刻笑了，拥抱她，向钱德勒挥手，然后离开。）

Chandler

How do you do that?

你是怎么办到的？

Phoebe

It's like a gift.

我有天赋。

Chandler

We should always always break up together.

我们每次都应该一起“分手”。

Phoebe

Oh, I'd like that.

我乐意之至。

Ross

You got the clothes clean. Now that's the important part.

你已把衣服洗净，现在是重要部份。

Rachel

Oh, I guess. Except everything looks like jammies now.

大概吧，只是衣服都成了睡衣。

(The same woman walks over and takes Rachel's laundry cart.)

（之前那位老妇人走过来，拿走了瑞秋的洗衣推车。）

Rachel

Whoa, I'm sorry. Excuse me. We had this cart.

抱歉，推车是我们的。

Woman

Yeah, well, I had a 24-inch waist. You lose things. Now come on, get outta my way.

是吗？我的腰围也曾是一尺八，但是时过境迁。请让道。

(Rachel looks at Ross, who motions to her to get the cart back.)

（瑞秋看着罗斯，罗斯示意她把推车要回来。）

Rachel

I'm sorry, you know, maybe I wasn't being clear. Uh, this is our cart.

抱歉，或许我没说清楚，这是我们的推车。

Woman

Hey, hey, hey there aren't any clothes in it.

这上面没有衣服。

Rachel

Hey, hey, hey, hey, quit making up rules!

你又再乱编规矩了！

Woman

Let go!

放手！

(They struggle for the cart. Finally, Rachel climbs inside of it.)

（她们争抢推车。最后，瑞秋爬进了推车里。）

Rachel

All right, listen, missy. If you want this cart, you're gonna have to take me with it!

好吧，想用这辆车，你就得推着我一起走！

(She thinks it over, and then walks away.)

（老妇人想了想，然后走开了。）

Rachel

(to Ross) Yes! Did you see that?

（对罗斯）我赢了，看见没？

Ross

You were incredible! Brand new woman, ladies and gentlemen.

你真是太神奇了。各位，一位脱胎换骨的新女性。

Rachel

I could not have done this without you.

多亏了你我才能办到。

(Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.)

（瑞秋站起来亲吻罗斯。他惊呆了。一阵沉默。）

Ross

Ok, um, uh, more clothes in the dryer? (Ross turns and bangs his head on an open dryer door.) I'm fine, I'm fine.

烘干机里还有衣服？……我没事……没事。

Rachel

Are you sure?

你确定没事？

Ross

No.

嗯。

Closing Credits

片尾

Rachel

Oh, are you sure you're ok?

还疼么？

Ross

Yeah.

嗯。

Rachel

Does it still hurt?

还疼么？

Ross

Yeah.

嗯。

Phoebe

(seeing Rachel's clothes) What a neat idea. All your clothes match. I'm gonna do this.

（看到瑞秋的衣服）真是聪明，衣服颜色都一样。我也要这么做。

(Monica and Joey enter.)

（莫妮卡和乔伊进来。）

Monica

Hi.

嗨。

Phoebe

Hey, how'd it go?

嘿，怎么样啦？

Joey

Excellent.

很好。

Monica

We ripped that couple apart, and kept the pieces for ourselves.

我们把那一对佳人掰成两半，一人一半。

Ross

What a beautiful story. Hey, I'm fine by the way.

真是美丽动人的故事。我已经没事了。

Monica

(notices his head) Oh, I'm sorry.

（注意到他的头）哦，抱歉。

Rachel

Where's Chandler?

钱德在哪儿？

Phoebe

Oh, he needed some time to grieve.

他需要一点时间疗伤。

(Chandler runs by the window outside, joyous.)

（钱德勒从窗外跑过，兴高采烈。）

Chandler

I'm free! I'm free!

我自由了！我自由了！

Phoebe

That oughta do it.

他应该复原了。

End

结束