The One With George Stephanopoulos

Monica

Alright. Phoebe?

菲比？

Phoebe

Okay, okay. If I were omnipotent for a day, I would want, um, world peace, no more hunger, good things for the rain-forest...And bigger boobs!

如果有一天我变得全能，我要世界和平，不再有饥饿，雨林不再遭受破坏，还有更大的胸部！

Ross

Yeah, see.. you took mine. Chandler, what about you?

你说了我的愿望。钱德，你呢？

Chandler

Uh, if I were omnipotent for a day, I'd.. make myself omnipotent forever.

如果有一天我变得全能，我要让自己变得永远全能。

Rachel

See, there's always one guy. (Mocking) "If I had a wish, I'd wish for three more wishes." (Joey enters.)

看吧，总有这样的人。“给我一个愿望，我就要更多的愿望。”（乔伊进来。）

All

Hey Joey. Hi. Hey, buddy.

嘿，乔伊。嗨。

Monica

Hey, Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent?

乔伊，如果你变得全能，你希望做什么？

Joey

Probably kill myself!

大概是自杀吧！

Monica

..Excuse me?

什么？

Joey

Hey, if Little Joey's dead, then I got no reason to live!

如果小乔伊死了，我就没再活下去的理由。

Ross

Joey, uh- OMnipotent.

乔伊，全能。（不是无能）

Joey

You are? Ross, I'm sorry..

你是？罗斯，对不起……

Opening Credits

片头

Monica

How does she do that?

她是怎么办到的？

Ross

I cannot sleep in a public place.

我在公共场合根本睡不着。

Monica

Would you look at her? She is so peaceful.

你看她，睡得那么安祥。

Phoebe

(waking and startling them) Oh! What what what! ...Hi.

（醒来吓到他们）哦！什么事？……嗨。

Ross

It's okay, y'know, you just nodded off again.

没事，你只是又打瞌睡了。

Monica

What's going on with you?

你是怎么了？

Phoebe

I got no sleep last night!

我昨晚没睡好！

Ross

Why?

为什么？

Phoebe

My grandmother has this new boyfriend, and they're both kind of insecure in bed. Oh, and deaf. So they're constantly, like, having to reassure each other that they're having a good time. You have no idea how loud they are!

我祖母交了一个新男友，他们俩在床上翻来覆去，还有耳聋……于是两人不断确定彼此是否尽兴。简直是吵死人了！

Monica

Well, if you want, you can stay with Rachel and me tonight.

如果愿意，你今晚可以和我及瑞秋睡。

Phoebe

Thanks.

谢了。

(Chandler and Joey enter. Joey is counting his steps.)

（钱德勒和乔伊进来。乔伊在数步数。）

Joey

...Ninety-five, ninety-six, ninety-seven. See, I told you! Less than a hundred steps from our place to here.

95，96，97。我说得没错吧？从我的住处到这儿不到一百步。

Chandler

You got waaaay too much free time.

你可真闲。

Joey

(to Ross) Hey! Here's the birthday boy! Ross, check it out: hockey tickets, Rangers-Penguins, tonight at the Garden, and we're taking you.

（对罗斯）嘿！他就是今天的寿星？瞧，冰球赛门票，骑兵队与企鹅队，今晚在花园球场，我们要带你去看。

Chandler

Happy birthday, pal!

生日快乐，老兄！

Joey

We love you, man. (Kisses Ross)

我们爱你。（亲罗斯）

Ross

Funny, my birthday was seven months ago.

你们真幽默，我的生日在七个月前。

Joey

So?

所以呢？

Ross

So, I'm guessing you had an extra ticket and couldn't decide which one of you got to bring a date?

一定是你们多了一张票，找不到人一起去看？

Chandler

Well, aren't we Mr. "The glass is half empty."

我们不是悲观之人。

Ross

Oh my God, oh- is today the twentieth, October twentieth?

天啊，今天是10月20号？

Monica

Oh, I was hoping you wouldn't remember.

我正希望你没记起来。

Ross

Ohhh.

哦……

Joey

What's wrong with the twentieth?

20号有什么不对劲吗？

Chandler

Eleven days before Halloween.. all the good costumes are gone?

万圣节的前十一天？所有的好服装都被抢走？

Ross

Today's the day Carol and I first.. consummated our physical relationship. (Joey is puzzled.) Sex. ..You know what, I-I'd better pass on the game. I think I'm just gonna go home and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian lover.

今天是我第一次和卡萝……进行肉体接触……作爱。我不去看球赛了，我还是回家想着我的前妻和她的爱人吧。

Joey

The hell with hockey, let's all do that!

去他的曲棍球，我们回去一起想吧！

Chandler

(trying to stop Ross leaving) C'mon, Ross! You, me, Joey, ice, guys' night out, c'mon, whaddya say, big guy, (Pretending to punch him in the stomach.) Huh? Huh? Huh?

（想拦住罗斯）罗斯，别这样。你，我和乔伊，冰人夜游怎样，大个儿？

Ross

What are you doing?

你打算干吗？

Chandler

(stops) I have no idea.

（停住）我不知道。

Joey

C'mon, Ross!

拜托，罗斯！

Ross

Alright, alright, maybe it'll take my mind off it. Do you promise to buy me a big thumb finger?

好吧，或许能让我忘记伤痛。但你要帮我买个大手指。

Chandler

You got it.

一定。

(Rachel runs up clutching an envelope.)

（瑞秋抓着信封跑过来。）

Rachel

Look-look-look-look-look, my first pay check! Look at the window, there's my name! Hi, me!

大家看，我的第一份薪水！看看这框框，上面有我的名字，是我！

Phoebe

I remember the day I got my first pay check. There was a cave in in one of the mines, and eight people were killed.

我记起拿到第一份薪水的那一天，矿场塌陷八人惨遭活埋。

Monica

Wow, you worked in a mine?

你在矿场工作？

Phoebe

I worked in a Dairy Queen, why?

不，我在黛莉冰淇淋工作，干嘛问？

Rachel

God, isn't this exciting? I earned this. I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally---(opens envelope)---not worth it. Who's FICA? Why's he getting all my money? I mean, what- Chandler, look at that.

真叫人兴奋，我赚来的，每天擦桌椅蒸牛奶，这真是太……（打开信封）不值得了。谁是FICA？为何他拿走我所有的钱？钱德，你看。

Chandler

(looking) Oh, this is not that bad.

（看）没那么糟。

Joey

Oh, you're fine, yeah, for a first job.

就第一份薪水而言，你已经算不错了。

Ross

You can totally, totally live on this.

单靠它就够你过日子了。

Monica

Yeah, yeah.

没错。

Ross

Oh, by the way, great service tonight.

对了，优秀的服务员。

All

Oh! Yeah!

没错！

(They all get their wallets out and give generous tips.)

（大家都拿出钱包，给了丰厚的小费。）

Guys

Hockey! (They go to leave but are blocked by three of Rachel's friends, Leslie, Kiki, and Joanne. The guys pause to stare at them.) Hockey! Hockey. (The guys.)

球赛！（他们要离开，但被瑞秋的三个朋友莱斯利、琪琪和乔安妮挡住。男生们停下来盯着她们。）球赛！球赛。

Leslie

(looking around) Rachel?

（环顾）瑞秋？

Rachel

Oh my God! (Rachel, Leslie, Kiki, and Joanne all scream and hug each other.)

天呀！（瑞秋、莱斯利、琪琪和乔安妮尖叫着拥抱。）

Monica

(to Phoebe) I swear I've seen birds do this on Wild Kingdom.

（对菲比）我发誓我在动物园也看过这种场面。

Rachel

What are you guys doing here?

什么风把你们吹来的？

Kiki

Well, we were in the city shopping, and your mom said you work here, aaand it's true!

我们到市区逛街，又听你妈说你在这儿工作，结果是真的！

Joanne

Look at you in the apron. You look like you're in a play.

瞧你的围裙，好像在演戏一般。

Rachel

(to a pregnant Leslie) Look at you, you are so big I can't believe it!

（对怀孕的莱斯利）看看你，你的肚子好大，我简直不敢相信！

Leslie

I know. I know! I'm a duplex.

我知道，我变成两倍大。

Rachel

(to Joanne) So what's going on with you?

（对乔安妮）你近来可好？

Joanne

Well, guess who my dad's making partner in his firm? (She points to herself and they all scream again.)

你猜我爸和谁合伙？（她指着自己，大家又尖叫。）

Kiki

And while we're on the subject of news.. (She holds up her finger to show off her engagement ring and they all scream again.)

还有我们的话题……（她伸出手指展示订婚戒指，大家再次尖叫。）

Phoebe

(to Monica) Look, look, I have elbows! (They scream.)

（对莫妮卡）看，我有手腕！（她们尖叫。）

Chandler

...Poulet passes it up to Leetch! (Passes it to Joey.)

罗斯将球传给李奇。（传给乔伊。）

Joey

Leetch spots Messier in the crease- there's the pass! (He kicks it to Ross, but Ross is staring into a shop window.)

李奇看见纳斯有空档，一记妙传！（他踢给罗斯，但罗斯正盯着商店橱窗。）

Chandler

We'll take a brief time out while Messier stops to look at some women's shoes.

我们先暂停一下，纳斯正停下来看女鞋。

Ross

Carol was wearing boots just like those the night that we- we first- y'know. Fact, she, uh- she never took 'em off, 'cause we-we- (off Chandler's look) Sorry. Sorry.

那一夜卡萝穿着那种靴子，在我们的第一次……老实说她没脱下，因为我们……（看到钱德勒的表情）对不起。

(They walk on. Chandler and Joey start to talk but Ross stops and whines.)

（他们继续走。钱德勒和乔伊要说话，但罗斯停下来呻吟。）

Joey

What?

什么？

Ross

Peach pit.

桃核。

Chandler

Yes, Bunny?

怎么样？

Ross

(points) Peach pit. That night we, uh- we had-

（指）桃核。那天晚上我们……

Joey

-Peaches?

吃了桃子？

Ross

Actually, nectarines, but basically...

事实上是蜜桃，但基本上……

Chandler

(to Joey) Could've been a peach.

（对乔伊）可能是桃子。

Ross

Then, uh, then we got dressed, and I-I... I walked her to the- (looks up, realises, and points) -the bus stop... I'm fine.

然后我们穿上衣服，我送她到公车站牌……我没事。

Joey

Hey, that woman's got an ass like Carol's! (They turn to stare at him.) What? Thought we were trying to find stuff.

嘿，那女人的臀部和卡萝的一样！（他们转头盯着他。）什么？我以为我们在找东西。

Rachel

So c'mon, you guys, tell me all the dirt!

好了，你们快点跟我讲八卦！

Kiki

Well, the biggest news is still you dumping Barry at the altar!

最大的八卦还是你在圣坛前抛下巴瑞。

Joanne

Alright. Let's talk reality for a second.

好了，我们来谈点正经的。

Rachel

Okay.

好。

Joanne

When are you coming home?

你打算何时回家？

Rachel

What? Guys, I'm not.

什么？我不回家。

Joanne

C'mon, this is us.

拜托，我们是好姐妹。

Rachel

I'm not! This is what I'm doing now. I've got this job-

我不回家！我要在这儿工作，我有工作——

Kiki

Waitressing?

当女服务生？

Rachel

Okay, I'm not just waitressing. I'm.. I, um... I write the specials on the specials board, and, uh... and I, uh... I take the dead flowers out of the vase... Oh, and, um, sometimes Artelle lets me put the little chocolate blobbies on the cookies.

我不只是当女服务生。我……写下每日特餐，摘下瓶中枯死的花朵，有时老板还会让我在饼干上涂上巧克力酱。

Leslie

Well. Your mom didn't tell us about the blobbies.

你妈没有提起巧克力酱。

Monica

Hey, Rach. How was it with your friends? (She and Phoebe scream.) Okay! How would you like some Tiki Death Punch? (She pours the contents of the blender into some glasses.)

瑞秋，和朋友聊得如何？（她和菲比尖叫。）想喝杯鸡尾酒吗？（把搅拌机里的东西倒进杯子。）

Rachel

What's that?

里面什么？

Monica

Weeeell, it's rum, and-

是郎姆酒，还有——

Rachel

Okay. (Grabs the blender and starts to drink.)

知道了。（抓起搅拌机开始喝。）

Monica

We thought since Phoebe was staying over tonight we'd have kinda like a slumber party thing. We got some trashy magazines, we got cookie dough, we got Twister... (The phone rings and Monica answers it.)

既然菲比要来过夜谈通宵，我们就买了一些八卦杂志、饼干面团和扭体游戏。（电话响，莫妮卡接。）

Phoebe

Ooh! Ooh! And I brought Operation! But, um, I lost the tweezers, so we can't operate. But we can prep the guy!

哦！我还带了“手术”游戏来。不过我把镊子弄丢了，所以玩不了了，不过我们可以演练下。

Monica

Uh, Rach, it's the Visa card people.

瑞秋，是信用卡的人打来的。

Rachel

Oh, God, ask them what they want.

问他们想干什么。

Monica

(on phone) Could you please tell me what this is in reference to? (Listens) Yes, hold on. (To Rachel) Um, they say there's been some unusual activity on your account.

（打电话）请问有什么事吗？（听）好，稍待。（对瑞秋）他们说你的账户有问题。

Rachel

But I haven't used my card in weeks!

可是我已好几个星期没刷卡了！

Monica

That is the unusual activity. Look, they just wanna see if you're okay.

问题就出在这儿。他们想知道你是否没事。

Rachel

They wanna know if I'm okay. Okay.. they wanna know if I'm okay, okay, let's see. Well, let's see, the FICA guys took all my money, everyone I know is either getting married, or getting promoted, or getting pregnant, and I'm getting coffee! And it's not even for me! So if that sounds like I'm okay, okay, then you can tell them I'm okay, okay?

他们想知道我是否没事？我想看看，FICA把我的钱全拿走了，我认识的朋友不是结婚怀孕就是升职，而我只是端咖啡，而且还不是端给自己喝。如果这样叫没事的话，就告诉他们我没事，好吗？

Monica

(pauses then on the phone) Uh- Rachel has left the building, can you call back?

（停顿，然后对电话）瑞秋刚出去，你能再打来吗？

Rachel

Alright, c'mon! (Miserably) Let's play Twister!

好吧，（沮丧地）我们来玩扭体游戏吧！

Ross

(squeezing past people) Sorry, sorry... Uh-oh.

（挤过人群）对不起，对不起……哦哦。

Chandler

What? There was ice there that night with Carol? Plastic seats? Four thousand angry Pittsburgh fans?

怎么了？你和卡萝那一夜有冰？塑胶座位？四千名愤怒的匹兹堡球迷？

Ross

No, actually I was just saying it looks like we're not sitting together. But now you mention it, there was ice there that night... It was the first frost...

不，我是说我们可能不会坐在一起。既然你已提起，没错，那一夜有结冰，第一次结霜……

Joey

C'mon, sit. Just sit down, sit.

坐下吧。

Monica

You should feel great about yourself! You're doing this amazing independence thing!

你应该感到自豪才对，你正在学习了不起的独立。

Rachel

Monica, what is so amazing? I gave up, like, everything. And for what?

莫妮卡，有什么了不起可言？我放弃一切，到底是为了什么？

Phoebe

You are just like Jack.

你和杰克没两样。

Rachel

...Jack from downstairs?

楼下的杰克？

Phoebe

No, Jack and the Beanstalk.

不，是杰克与魔豆。

Monica

Ah, the other Jack.

另一个杰克。

Phoebe

Yeah, right! See, he gave up something, but then he got those magic beans. And then he woke up, and there was this, this big plant outside his window, full of possibilities and stuff.. And he lived in a village, and you live in the Village..

对，他放弃某些东西，但是得到了魔豆。他起床后，发现窗外有棵大树，充满一切可能。他住在一个村庄，你住在一个村庄……

Rachel

Okay, but Pheebs, Pheebs, Jack gave up a cow, I gave up an orthodontist. Okay, I-I-I know, I know I didn't love him-

菲比，杰克放弃了牛，我放弃了一个整牙医生。我知道我并不喜欢他——

Phoebe

Oh, see, Jack did love the cow.

杰克深爱着那头牛。

Rachel

But see, it was a plan. Y'know, it was clear. It was figured out, and now everything's just kinda like...

那是有预谋的，一切都很清楚。可是现在所有事都……

Phoebe

Floopy?

不顺利？

Rachel

Yeah.

对。

Monica

So what, you're not the only one. I mean, half the time we don't know where we're going. You've just gotta figure at some point it's all gonna come together, and it's just gonna be... un-floopy.

不是只有你才这样。我们也常不知自己何去何从。你得仔细想清楚，自然就能步上轨道，这样才能……诸事顺利。

Phoebe

Oh, like that's a word.

真能拼。

Rachel

Okay, but Monica, what if- what if it doesn't come together?

但如果无法步上轨道呢？

Monica

...Pheebs?

菲比？

Phoebe

Oh, well... 'cause.... you just... I don't like this question.

因为你……我不喜欢这个问题。

Rachel

Okay, see, see, you guys, what if we don't get magic beans? I mean, what if all we've got are.. beans?

瞧，如果我们没拿到魔豆吗？只拿到一般的豆子呢？

Ross

Get him! GET HIM! Get him! Get- YESSS! Not laughing now, are ya pal!

宰掉他……笑不出来了吧，老兄！

Chandler

(to Ross) See buddy, that's all you need, a bunch of toothless guys hitting each other with sticks.

（对罗斯）那正是你需要的，一群以棍子互打的无齿之徒。

Ross

Pass it! Pass it!

快传！

Chandler

He's open!

他有空档！

All

Shoot! Shoot! Shoot!

射门！射门！射门！

(The player shoots and the puck flies off the rink and hits Ross in the face. Chandler looks concerned until he notices...)

（球员射门，球飞出球场击中罗斯的脸。钱德勒关切地看着，然后注意到……）

Chandler

Hey, look, we're on that TV thing!

瞧，我们上电视了！

(Chandler and Joey hold the puck and wave at the TV thing.)

（钱德勒和乔伊拿着球对着电视挥手。）

Commercial Break

广告时间

Chandler

(to the receptionist) 'Scuse me.

（对接待员）打扰一下。

Receptionist

(holds up her hand---she is on the phone) It says to call this number if you're not completely satisfied with this candy bar. Well, I'm not completely satisfied.

（举手，正在打电话）上面说不满意这条巧克力糖可以拨这个号码。我并不满意。

Chandler

Listen, it's kind of an emergency. Well, I guess you know that, or we'd be in the predicament room. (The receptionist glares at him.)

这是紧急事件。我想你很清楚，否则我们就不会在这儿了。（接待员瞪他。）

Receptionist

(on phone) Hold on. (To Chandler) Fill these out, sit over there. (Tosses him some forms.)

（打电话）等等。（对钱德勒）拿去填资料，坐在那儿填。（扔给他表格。）

Ross

(jumping to his feet) Look, I don't wanna make any trouble, okay, but I'm in a lot of pain here, alright? My face is dented.

（跳起来）我不想惹麻烦，好吗？可我现在很疼，我脸被打歪了。

Receptionist

Well, you'll have to wait your turn.

你得照顺序来。

Joey

Well, how long do you think it'll be?

大概要等多久？

Receptionist

(sarcastic) Any minute now.

（讽刺）快了。

Ross

Hey, this- (she gives him a look and the guys back off) Heyy...

嘿……（她看了他一眼，男生们后退）嘿……

Rachel

I'm so sorry, you guys. I didn't mean to bring you down.

真是对不起，我不是存心让你们不开心的。

Monica

No, you were right. I don't have a plan. (There's a knock on the door.)

不，你说得对，我的人生毫无计划。（敲门声。）

Pizza Guy

(yelling from outside) Pizza guy!

（在外面喊）送Pizza的！

Rachel

Thank God. Food. (She goes to answer the door.)

感谢上帝，食物终于来了。（去开门。）

Monica

Phoebe?

菲比？

Phoebe

What?

干吗？

Monica

Do you have a plan?

你有计划吗？

Phoebe

I don't even have a 'pl'.

我根本毫无计划。

Pizza Guy

Hi, one, uh, mushroom, green pepper and onion?

嗨，一份磨菇、青椒和洋葱？

Rachel

(miserably) No, no, that's not what we ordered... We ordered a fat-free crust with extra cheese.

（沮丧地）不，这不是我们点的。我们点的是奶酪脆皮口味。

Pizza Guy

Wait, you're not 'G.Stephanopoulos?' Man, my dad's gonna kill me!

等等，史先生不住这儿？惨了，我爸一定会宰掉我的！

Monica

(leaping off of the couch and runs up) Wait! Did you say 'G.Stephanopoulos?'

（从沙发上跳起来跑过去）等等，你是说史先生？

Pizza Guy

Yeah. This one goes across the street, I must have given him yours. Oh, bonehead, bonehead!

对，他住对街。我一定是送错了，笨！

Monica

Wait, was this a-a small mediterranean guy with curiously intelligent good looks?

慢着，是不是那个矮小的地中海人，一幅聪明样的帅哥？

Pizza Guy

Yeah, that sounds about right.

对，应该就是他。

Monica

Was he wearing a stunning blue suit?

他穿着迷人的蓝色西装？

Phoebe

And-and a power tie?

打着领带？

Pizza Guy

No, pretty much just a towel.

不，他只围一条浴巾。

Monica

(staggered) Oh God.

（踉跄）上帝呀。

Pizza Guy

So you guys want me to take this back?

你们忍心让我把它带回去？

Monica

Are you nuts?! We've got George Stephanopoulos' pizza! (Rachel pays him, Monica grabs some binoculars, and runs to the window.)

什么？开什么玩笑！我们要吃史先生的Pizza！（瑞秋付钱，莫妮卡抓起望远镜跑到窗边。）

Rachel

Uh, Pheebs? Who's George Snuffalopagus?

菲比，史先生是谁？

Phoebe

Big Bird's friend.

大鸟的朋友。

Monica

I see pizza!

我看见Pizza！

Phoebe

Oh, I wanna see! Lemme see! Lemme see! (She runs up and takes the binoculars.)

让我看！（跑上去抢望远镜。）

Rachel

Hello? Who are we spying on?

我们在偷瞄谁？

Monica

White House adviser? Clinton's campaign guy? The one with the great hair, sexy smile, really cute butt?

白宫顾问，克林顿的助选员。他有迷人的头发、性感的微笑，带劲儿的屁股。

Rachel

Oh, him, the little guy? Oh, I love him!

哦，是他？那个小矮人？我好喜欢他！

Phoebe

Ooh, wait.. wait, I see a woman.

等等，我看一个女人。

Monica

Please tell me it's his mother.

告诉我那是他妈。

Phoebe

Definitely not his mother.

绝对不是他妈。

Monica

Oh, no...

哦，不……

Phoebe

Oh, wait, she's walking across the floor.. she's walking.. she's walking.. she's going for the pizza- (Yelling) Hey, that's not for you, bitch! (Phoebe covers her mouth with her hand and walks away from the window.)

慢着，她走过地板……她走着……去拿Pizza——（大喊）不是给你的，臭女人！（菲比捂住嘴，离开窗户。）

Chandler

Excuse me, look, we've been here for over an hour, and a lot of people less sick than my friend have gone in. I mean, that guy with the toe thing? Who's he sleeping with? (She slides the glass panel over and Chandler talks through it in a loud voice.) Oh, c'mon Dora, don't be mad... I know we both said some things we didn't mean, but that doesn't mean we still don't love each other. (To the waiting room.) Y'know, I feel like I've lost her.. (She slides the panel back, he turns, and it takes him by surprise.) Ba-!

抱歉，我们已等了一个小时，许多情况比我朋友轻的人都走了。那个脚趾上挂东西的，他和谁睡觉？（她把玻璃滑过来，钱德勒大声说）朵拉，别生气，我知道我们都说了伤害彼此的话，但那不意味着我们不再爱着对方。（对候诊室）我想她不会再理我了……（她滑回玻璃，他转身吓了一跳）吧！

Monica

Light still out?

灯还关着，对吗？

Rachel

Yeah.

对。

Monica

Oh. Maybe they're- napping.

或许他们在小睡。

Rachel

Oh please, they're having sex.

拜托，他们在做爱。

Monica and Phoebe

Shut up!

闭嘴！

Rachel

So, whaddya think George is like?

你们认为史先生是什么样的人？

Monica

I think he's shy.

我认为他很害羞。

Phoebe

Yeah?

真的？

Monica

Yeah. I think you have to draw him out. And then- when you do- he's a preppy animal.

你必须勾引他，之后他就会渐渐显露出兽性。

Ross

I remember the moonlight coming through the window- and her face had the most incredible glow.

我记得月光透过窗户照进来，她的脸庞露出甜蜜的微笑。

Chandler

Yes, the moon, the glow, the magical feeling, you did this part- Could I get some painkillers over here, please?

对，月光，微笑和甜蜜，说得好。谁能拿点止痛药来吗？

Joey

He's right, enough, already. What is the big deal about today? So you slept with her for the first time, so what? You slept with her for seven years after that.

他说得对，你够了没？今天有什么大不了的？你和她第一次上床，了不起？之后你又和她做了七年。

Ross

Look, it's just a little more complicated...

事情没那么简单……

Chandler

Well, what? What? What is it? That she left you? That she likes women? That she left you for another woman that likes women?

那么问题出在哪儿？她把你甩了？她爱上女人？她为一个爱女人的女人而离开你？

Ross

Little louder, okay, I think there's a man on the twelfth floor in a coma that didn't quite hear you...

大声点，行吗？12楼有个昏迷的人听不清楚。

Chandler

Then what?

然后呢？

Ross

My first time with Carol was... (He mumbles the last part)

我和卡萝的第一次……（他咕哝最后几个字）

Joey

What?

什么？

Ross

It was my first time.

是我的第一次。

Joey

With Carol? (Ross gives him a look.) Oh.

和卡萝？（罗斯看他）哦。

Chandler

So in your whole life, you've only been with one---(He gets a look too)---oh.

这么说你这辈子只和一人……（他也被看）哦。

Joey

Whoah, boy, hockey was a big mistake! There was a whole bunch of stuff we could've done tonight!

天啊，看冰球赛真是个错误。本来今晚我们可以干很多事！

Monica

Okay. Okay, I got one. Do you remember that vegetarian pate that I made that you loved so much?

好吧，我有了。还记得你很喜欢我做的那个蔬菜面团？

Phoebe

Uh-huh.

嗯。

Monica

Well, unless goose is a vegetable... ha haaaah!

除非鹅也是蔬菜……哈哈哈！

Phoebe

Oh! Oh! Oh! Okay, fine, fine. Now I don't feel so bad about sleeping with Jason Hurley.

哦！好吧，行。现在我觉得和强森上床没那么糟。

Monica

What?! You slept with Jason?

什么？你和强森上床？

Phoebe

You'd already broken up.

在你们分手后。

Rachel

How long?

多久之后？

Phoebe

A couple hours.

几小时。

Monica

Oh, that's nice!

真好！

Rachel

Okay, okay, okay, I got one! (She sits up and the cushion she was leaning against falls off of the balcony.) Anyway- The valentine Tommy Rollerson left in your locker was really from me.

我也有了！（她坐起来，靠着的垫子掉下阳台）情人节汤姆放在你置物箱的东西，其实是我放的。

Monica

Excuse me?!

什么？

Rachel

Hello? Like he was really gonna send you one? (To Phoebe) She was a big girl.

你以为他真会送你东西？（对菲比）她太天真了。

Monica

Really. Well, at least 'big girls' don't pee in their pants in seventh grade!

真的？天真的女孩，至少不会在七年级时还尿裤子！

Rachel

I was laughing! You made me laugh! (Monica and Rachel start to squabble)

当时我是在笑，你逗得我大笑！（莫妮卡和瑞秋开始争吵。）

Phoebe

There he is! There he is!

他来了，他来了！

Monica

Where?

在哪儿？

Phoebe

Right- where we've been looking all night!

我们看了一整夜的地方。

Rachel

He is so cute!

他真帅！

Monica

Oh, George, baby, drop the towel!

我的宝贝乔治，快拿掉浴巾！

All

Yeah, drop it! Drop the towel! Please drop the---(pause)---wowww.

快拿掉浴巾！一次就好……哇。

Joey

Man. Can you believe he's only had sex with one woman?

你能相信他只和一个女人上过床？

Chandler

I think it's great. Y'know, it's sweet, it's romantic...

这样很好啊，甜蜜又浪漫。

Joey

Really?

你真的这样认为？

Chandler

No, you kidding? The guy's a freak.. (Ross enters off camera)

才怪，这家伙是怪胎。（罗斯从镜头外进来。）

Both

Hey, buddy.

老兄。

Ross

Hi. (He is wearing a piece of steel bandaged to his nose. He tosses some forms onto reception desk.)

嗨。（他鼻子上贴着金属片包扎，把表格扔到接待台上。）

Receptionist

(sarcastic) Oh, that's attractive.

（讽刺）真是迷人。

Chandler

Oh, I thought you were great in Silence of the Lambs. Oh come on, admit it! All things considered, you had fun tonight.

你在“沉默的羔羊”里演得真好。快承认吧，纵观一切，你今晚很开心。

Ross

Fun? Where was the fun? Tell me specifically, which part was the fun part? Where's my puck?

开心？哪里开心？告诉哪一点值得我开心？我的冰球在哪儿？

Joey

Oh, ah- the kid has it.

在那小孩手里。

Ross

The kid...? (To the kid) Excuse me, uh, that's, that's my puck.

孩子……（对小孩）球是我的。

Kid

I found it. Finders keepers, losers weepers. (Ross looks at Chandler for help.)

我找到的，谁发现归谁，丢掉的人活该。（罗斯向钱德勒求助。）

Chandler

You gotta do it, man.

争气点。

Ross

(to the kid) Oh yeah? Well, I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever---(to Chandler)---can't do it. (to the kid) Listen, uh- gimme back my puck.

（对小孩）是吗？我是橡胶你是胶水……（对钱德勒）我做不到。（对小孩）还我。

Kid

No.

不还。

Ross

'Yes', how about. C'mere. Gimme!

过来，球还我。

Kid

No! No! (They start to fight over it.)

不给！（他们开始抢。）

Receptionist

Hey! Hey! No rough holding in my ER!

别在我这儿闹事！

Ross

(tries to snatch it from the kid) GIVE ME MY PUCK!! (but it flies out of his grasp and knocks out the receptionist)

（想从小孩手里抢过来）给我！（球脱手飞出，打晕了接待员。）

Ross

...Now that was fun.

那才叫好玩。

Closing Credits

片尾

Ross

(Doing the spinning) Okay, Monica: Right foot red.

（转盘）莫妮卡，右脚红。

Monica

Could've played Monopoly, but noooo.

本来我们是要玩大富翁的？谢了。

(There's a knock on the door, Chandler opens it, and silently hands back the cushion.)

（敲门声，钱德勒开门，默默把垫子递回。）

Chandler

Thanks. (The guy nods and leaves)

谢谢。（那人点头离开。）

Ross

Okay, Pheebs: Right hand blue. (Phoebe has to bend over.) Good. (Joey stares at her butt appreciatively)

菲比，右手蓝。（菲比弯下腰。）很好。（乔伊欣赏地盯着她的屁股。）

(The phone rings and Chandler answers it.)

（电话响，钱德勒接。）

Chandler

Hello? Oh, uh, Rachel, it's the Visa card people.

喂？哦，瑞秋，信用卡人员打来的。

Rachel

Oh, okay. Will you take my place?

好，愿意代替我吗？

Chandler

Alright. (on phone) Yes, this is Rachel.

好吧。（打电话）我是瑞秋。

Rachel

Nooo! (She grabs the phone and Chandler takes her place on the mat.) (On phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh, yeah, no, I know, I-I haven't been using it much. (Listens) Oh, well, thanks, but, I'm okay, really.

不！（她抢过电话，钱德勒代替她的位置。）（打电话）喂？……我知道，我很久没用了。……谢谢，我没事，真的。

Ross

Green. To the green.

绿色，到绿色那里。

Rachel

(on phone) I've got magic beans. (Listens) Never-never mind.

（打电话）我有魔豆。（听）不，当我没说。

Chandler

To the left, to the left- aww! (They all collapse)

左转……啊！（大家都倒了。）

Rachel

(on phone) Ohhh... I'm fine.

（打电话）我没事。

End

结束