The One With the Thumb

Phoebe

(entering) Hi guys!

（进来）嗨，各位！

All

Hey, Pheebs! Hi!

嘿，菲比！嗨！

Ross

Hey. Oh, oh, how'd it go?

嘿。哦，哦，你的约会怎么样？

Phoebe

Um, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said 'We should do this again!'

“我们应该再来一次！”

All

Ohh. Ouch.

哦，喔。

Rachel

What? He said 'we should do it again', that's good, right?

他说要再来一次？那不是很好吗？

Monica

Uh, no. Loosely translated 'We should do this again' means 'You will never see me naked'.

不，翻译一下，“我们应该再来一次”代表“你将无法再见到裸体的我”。

Rachel

Since when?

什么时候这样子的？

Joey

Since always. It's like dating language. Y'know, like 'It's not you' means 'It is you'.

一直都是这样，这是约会用语。就像“问题不是出在你”代表“就是你”。

Chandler

Or 'You're such a nice guy' means 'I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you'.

“你真好”代表“我要和皮革族的酒徒约会，然后向你抱怨”。

Phoebe

Or, or, y'know, um, 'I think we should see other people' means 'Ha, ha, I already am'.

还有还有，“我们该试试别人”代表“我已和别人约会了”。

Rachel

And everybody knows this?

大家都懂？

Joey

Yeah. Cushions the blow.

对，这是善意的谎言。

Chandler

Yeah, it's like when you're a kid, and your parents put your dog to sleep, and they tell you it went off to live on some farm.

没错，就像父母使小孩的狗安乐死时，他们会说它跑到别人家农场去住了。

Ross

That's funny, that, no, because, uh, our parents actually did, uh, send our dog off to live on a farm.

真有意思，不过我爸妈是真的把我们的狗送到别人农场去养了。

Monica

Uh, Ross.

呃，罗斯。

Ross

What? Wh- hello? The Millners' farm in Connecticut? The Millners, they had this unbelievable farm, they had horses, and, and rabbits that he could chase and it was- it w- .....Oh my God, Chi Chi!

米纳家在康乃迪克州的农场？米纳家，他们家的农场好棒，有马还有可供追逐的兔子……噢，我的天，芝芝！

Opening Credits

片头

Chandler

"So how does it feel knowing you're about to die?"

“知道自己不久人世有何感受？”

Joey

"Warden, in five minutes my pain will be over. But you'll have to live with the knowledge that you sent an honest man to die."

“华顿，我的痛苦将在五分钟内消除，但你得承受埋葬一个老实人的痛苦！”

Chandler

Hey, that was really good!

嘿，表演得真好！

Joey

Thanks! Let's keep going.

是吗？谢了，咱们继续吧。

Chandler

Okay. "So. Whaddya want from me, Damone, huh?"

好，“你要我怎么做，迪默，嗯？”

Joey

"I just wanna go back to my cell. 'Cause in my cell, I can smoke."

“我只想回到我的牢房内，因为这样我才可以抽烟。”

Chandler

"Smoke away."

“你就在这里抽吧。”

(Joey takes out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He fumbles and drops the lighter. Then he lights a cigarette, takes a drag, and coughs.)

（乔伊拿出一包烟和一个打火机。他笨手笨脚地掉了打火机。然后点烟，吸了一口，咳嗽起来。）

Chandler

I think this is probably why Damone smokes in his cell alone.

我想这就是迪默自己一个在牢房里抽烟的原因。

Joey

What?

什么？

Chandler

Relax your hand!

手放轻松，手腕自然点。

(Joey lets his wrist go limp.)

（乔伊放松手腕。）

Chandler

Not so much!

别太过火！

Joey

Whoah!

哦！

Chandler

Hey!

嘿！

Joey

Hey!

嘿！

Chandler

Alright, now try taking a puff.

好，吐口烟。

(Joey tries and visibly winces.)

（乔伊试了，明显退缩。）

Chandler

Alright.. okay. No. Give it to me.

好吧，算了，给我。

Joey

No no no, I am not giving you a cigarette.

不，我不能给你烟。

Chandler

It's fine, it's fine. Look, do you wanna get this part, or not? Here.

无所谓的，你到底想不想演这个角色？

(Joey reluctantly gives him the cigarette.)

（乔伊不情愿地把烟递给他。）

Chandler

Don't think of it as a cigarette. Think of it as the thing that's been missing from your hand. When you're holding it, you feel right. You feel complete.

别把它当成是支烟，把它当成是你想念多时的东西。夹着它，你感到自在，你感到满足。

Joey

Y'miss it?

你很想它？

Chandler

Nah, not so much. Alright, now we smoke. (Takes a puff.) Oh.. my.. God. (He continues to smoke.)

没那么严重。好，现在抽烟。（吸了一口）噢，爽呀！（他继续抽。）

Monica

No, no, no. They say it's the same as the distance from the tip of a guy's thumb to the tip of his index finger.

不，不是这样的。他们说和拇指尖到食指尖的距离一样。

(The guys stretch out their fingers.)

（男生们伸出手指。）

Joey

That's ridiculous!

这太荒谬了！

Ross

Can I use.. either thumb?

随便哪个姆指都行？

Rachel

(carrying a tray of drinks) Alright, don't tell me, don't tell me! (Starts handing them out.) Decaf cappuccino for Joey.. Coffee black.. Latte.. And an iced tea. I'm getting pretty good at this!

（端着一盘饮料）别告诉我，别告诉我！（开始分发）无咖啡因卡布其诺是乔伊的，纯咖啡，拿铁和冰茶。我进步神速！

All

Yeah. Yeah, excellent.

对，对，真好。

Rachel

(leaving to serve others) Good for me!

（去服务别人）我真行！

(The gang swaps all the drinks for what they ordered as Phoebe enters. She sits down without saying hi.)

（大家把饮料换回自己点的，菲比进来，一言不发坐下。）

Joey

Y'okay, Phoebe?

菲比，你没事吧？

Phoebe

Yeah- no- I'm just- it's, I haven't worked- It's my bank.

我还好——只是太不值得了……我的银行。

Monica

What did they do to you?

他们对你怎么了？

Phoebe

It's nothing, it's just- Okay. I'm going through my mail, and I open up their monthly, you know, STATEMENT-

没什么，只是——好吧。我看我的信件时，看见他们的每月“通知”——

Ross

Easy.

别激动。

Phoebe

- and there's five hundred extra dollars in my account.

——我的户头多了五百元。

Chandler

Oh, Satan's minions at work again...

撒旦的奴才又开始活跃了。

Phoebe

Yes, 'cause now I have to go down there, and deal with them.

没错，因为我得到银行找他们处理。

Joey

What are you talking about? Keep it!

别傻了，留着自己用吧！

Phoebe

It's not mine, I didn't earn it, if I kept it, it would be like stealing.

这些钱不是我的，不是我赚来的，我留下来就如同偷窃。

Rachel

Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping!

如果你拿来花就如同购物。

Phoebe

Okay. Okay, let's say I bought a really great pair of shoes. Do you know what I'd hear, with every step I took? 'Not-mine. Not-mine. Not-mine.' And even if I was happy, okay, and, and skipping- 'Not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine'...

好吧，就比方说我买了一双很棒的鞋。你们知道我每踏出一步都会听到什么吗？“不是我的。不是我的。不是我的。”即使我再快乐再雀跃都会听到“不是我的”……

Monica

We're with you. We got it.

我们知道你的意思了。

(Chandler leans over the back of the couch out of sight.)

（钱德勒趴在沙发背后看不见了。）

Phoebe

Okay. I'd- just- I'd never be able to enjoy it. It would be like this giant karmic debt.

我无法享受非份之财的乐趣。这就像是业报一样。

Rachel

Chandler, what are you doing?

钱德，你在干什么？

Monica

(pulling him up) Hey. Whaddya doing?

（把他拉起来）嘿，你在干什么？

(Chandler tries to shrug nonchalantly but eventually he has to exhale a mouthful of smoke.)

（钱德勒想装作若无其事耸肩，但最终还是吐出一大口烟。）

All

Oh! Oh, God!

噢，我的天！

Ross

What is this?!

这是什么？！

Chandler

I'm smoking. I'm smoking, I'm smoking.

我在抽烟，我在抽烟。

Phoebe

Oh, I can't believe you! You've been so good, for three years!

我真不敢相信你！你这三年来一直表现良好！

Chandler

And this- is my reward!

这是我的奖励！

Ross

Hold on a second, alright? Just think about what you went through the last time you quit.

等等，想想你戒烟后是怎么活过来的。

Chandler

Okay, so this time I won't quit!

所以这一次我不再戒了！

All

Ohhh! Put it out!

熄掉！

Chandler

All right! I'm putting it out, I'm putting it out. (He drops it in Phoebe's coffee.)

好吧，我熄掉就是。（他把烟头丢进菲比的咖啡里。）

Phoebe

Oh, no! I- I can't drink this now!

哦，不！我现在喝不了它了。

Monica

Alright. I'm gonna go change, I've got a date.

我要去换衣服了，我有个约会。

Rachel

This Alan again? How's it goin'?

又是亚伦？进展得如何？

Monica

'S'going pretty good, y'know? It's nice, and, we're having fun.

进展得还不错，我们在一起很开心。

Joey

So when do we get to meet the guy?

我们何时能见到他？

Monica

Let's see, today's Monday... Never.

今天是星期一……永远别想。

All

Oh, come on! Come on!

哦，来嘛！

Monica

No. Not after what happened with Steve.

不，不要再来像史提夫那次的事。

Chandler

What are you talking about? We love Schhteve! Schhteve was schhexy!.. Sorry.

你在说什么？我们都爱史……提夫，史……提夫很性……感，抱歉。

Monica

Look, I don't even know how I feel about him yet. Just give me a chance to figure that out.

我连自己对他有何感觉都还不知道，给我一点时间想清楚。

Rachel

Well, then can we meet him?

那么到时我们可以见他啰？

Monica

Nope. Schhorry.

不行，抱歉。

Monica

I mean, why should I let them meet him? I mean, I bring a guy home, and within five minutes they're all over him. I mean, they're like- coyotes, picking off the weak members of the herd.

我为何要让他们见他？我带他回去后五分钟，他们便蜂拥而上，他们就像郊狼一样，找弱者下手。

Paula

Listen. As someone who's seen more than her fair share of bad beef, I'll tell you: that is not such a terrible thing. I mean, they're your friends, they're just looking out after you.

不愉快的场面我见多了，告诉你，这并不是一件坏事。他们是你的朋友，他们只是关心你。

Monica

I know. I just wish that once, I'd bring a guy home that they actually liked.

我知道。我只希望带一个他们真正喜欢的男人回家。

Paula

Well, you do realise the odds of that happening are a little slimmer if they never get to meet the guy..

你知道如果他们没见过他，机会就更渺茫。

Joey

Let it go, Ross.

不要这样子，罗斯，别再想了。

Ross

Yeah, well, you didn't know Chi Chi.

你又不认识芝芝。

Monica

Do you all promise?

你们都保证？

All

Yeah! We promise! We'll be good!

对，我们保证！我们会很乖的！

Monica

(shouts to Chandler) Chandler? Do you promise to be good?

（对钱德勒喊）钱德，你保证会很乖？

(Chandler makes a 'Cross my heart' sign. It starts to rain and he taps on the window.)

（钱德勒手指画十字保证。开始下雨，他敲窗户。）

Joey

You can come in, but your filter-tipped little buddy has to stay outside!

你可以进来了，但你的滤嘴屁股朋友得呆在外面。

(Chandler sulkily picks up a garbage can lid and uses it as an umbrella.)

（钱德勒气呼呼地捡起垃圾桶盖当伞。）

(Phoebe enters, walks to the couch, sits down, and begins to read a letter without saying hi.)

（菲比进来，走到沙发坐下，默不作声开始读信。）

Ross

Hey, Pheebs.

嘿，菲比。

Phoebe

'Dear Ms. Buffay. Thank you for calling attention to our error. We have credited your account with five hundred dollars. We're sorry for the inconvenience, and hope you'll accept this- (Searches in her purse) -football phone as our free gift.' Do you believe this?! Now I have a thousand dollars, and a football phone!

“亲爱的巴菲小姐，谢谢你提醒我们的错误，我们已将五百元存到你的户头。造成不便之处请多包涵，请接受此足球电话作为礼物。”你们懂意思吗？现在我多了一千元和一个足球电话！

Rachel

What bank is this?

这是哪家银行？

(The intercom buzzes.)

（门铃响。）

Monica

Hey. It's him. (On the intercom) Who is it?

他来了。（对讲机）是谁啊？

Alan

(on the intercom) It's Alan.

（对讲机）亚伦。

Joey

(shouting to Chandler) Chandler! He's here!

（对钱德勒喊）钱德，他来了！

(Chandler comes in, dripping wet.)

（钱德勒进来，浑身湿透。）

Monica

(to all) Okay, please be good, please. Just remember how much you all like me.

（对大家）拜托，别乱来，记得你们有多么爱我。

(She opens the door and Alan enters.)

（她开门，亚伦进来。）

Monica

Hi. Alan, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Alan.

嗨，亚伦，这是大家。各位，这是亚伦。

Alan

Hi.

嗨。

All

Hi, Alan.

嗨，亚伦。

Alan

I've heard schho much about all you guyschh!

我对各位已如雷灌耳。

(Everyone laughs.)

（大家笑。）

Monica

(to Alan) Thanks. I'll call you tomorrow. (Alan exits, to all) Okay. Okay, let's let the Alan-bashing begin. Who's gonna take the first shot, hmm?

（对亚伦）谢谢，我明天再打电话给你。（亚伦离开，对大家）好了，开始攻击亚伦吧。谁先开始？

(Silence.)

（沉默。）

Monica

C'mon!

来呀！

Ross

...I'll go. Let's start with the way he kept picking at- no, I'm sorry, I can't do this, can't do this. We loved him.

我来。我们从他一直……抱歉，我办不到。我们爱他。

All

Loved him! Yeah! He's great!

我们爱他！他太棒了！

Monica

Wait a minute! We're talking about someone that I'm going out with?

等等，我们谈的是我约会的对象吗？

All

Yeah!

是啊！

Rachel

And did you notice...? (She spreads her thumb and index finger.)

你们都有注意到？（她张开拇指和食指。）

The Guys

(reluctantly) Yeah.

（不情愿）是啊。

Joey

Know what was great? The way his smile was kinda crooked.

知道他什么最棒吗？他的微笑有点邪邪的。

Phoebe

Yes, yes! Like the man in the shoe!

对，就像是鞋里的男人。

Ross

...What shoe?

什么鞋？

Phoebe

From the nursery rhyme. 'There was a crooked man, Who had a crooked smile, Who lived in a shoe, For a... while...'

童谣里的。有个驼背的人有着扭曲的微笑，他住在鞋子里，一阵子。

(Dubious pause.)

（可疑的停顿。）

Ross

...So I think Alan will become the yardstick against which all future boyfriends will be measured.

我想亚伦将成为日后男友被丈量的标准。

Rachel

What future boyfriends? No no, I th- I think this could be, y'know, it.

什么日后男友？不，我想他就是了。

Monica

Really!

真的呀？

Chandler

Oh, yeah. I'd marry him just for his David Hasselhof impression alone. You know I'm gonna be doing that at parties, right? (Does the impression)

光凭他学海滩游侠的样子，我就想嫁给他了。我会在派对上表演这个，知道吗？（模仿）

Ross

You know what I like most about him, though?

你知道我最喜欢他哪一点？

All

What?

哪一点？

Ross

The way he makes me feel about myself.

他改变我看待自己的方式。

All

Yeah...

嗯……

Commercial Break

广告时间

Monica

Hi.. how was the game?

嗨，比赛如何？

Ross

Well..

怎么说呢……

All

WE WON!! Thank you! Yes!

我们赢啦！谢谢！太棒啦！

Monica

Fantastic! I have one question: How is that possible?

这怎么可能呢？

Joey

Alan.

亚伦。

Ross

He was unbelievable. He was like that-that-that Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs is playing all the positions, right, but instead of Bugs it was first base-Alan, second base-Alan, third base-...

他真是太不可思议了。他就像兔宝宝卡通里，兔宝宝守每个位置。但我们没有兔宝宝，但我们有一垒手亚伦、二垒手亚伦、三垒手亚伦……

Rachel

I mean, it-it was like, it was like he made us into a team.

他使我们形成一个团队。

Chandler

Yep, we sure showed those Hassidic jewellers a thing or two about softball..

对，我们让对手见识到什么叫垒球。

Monica

Can I ask you guys a question? D'you ever think that Alan is maybe.. sometimes..

能问你们一个问题吗？你是否曾感觉亚伦有时……

Ross

What?

有时怎样？

Monica

..I dunno, a little too Alan?

我说不上来，有点太亚伦了？

Rachel

Well, no. That's impossible. You can never be too Alan.

不，不可能，他不可能太过于亚伦。

Ross

Yeah, it's his, uh, innate Alan-ness that-that-that we adore.

没错我们欣赏的是亚伦的内在。

Chandler

I personally could have a gallon of Alan.

我个人可以喝下一加仑的亚伦。

Phoebe

Hey, Lizzie.

嘿，莉兹。

Lizzie

Hey, Weird Girl.

嘿，古怪女孩。

Phoebe

I brought you alphabet soup.

我带字母汤来给你。

Lizzie

Did you pick out the vowels?

你挑掉有母音吗？

Phoebe

Yes. But I left in the Ys. 'Cause, y'know, "sometimes y". Uh, I also have something else for you. (She searches in her purse.)

但我把“Y”留下来了，因为有时你会用得上。我还带了其他东西给你。（她在包里翻找。）

Lizzie

Saltines?

咸鱼吗？

Phoebe

No, but would you like a thousand dollars and a football phone?

不，但你想要一千元和足球电话吗？

Lizzie

What? (She opens the envelope Phoebe has given her.) Oh my God, there's really money in here.

什么？（她打开菲比给的信封）天啊，这里真的有钱。

Phoebe

I know.

我知道。

Lizzie

Weird Girl, what are you doing?

怪女孩，你在干什么？

Phoebe

No, I want you to have it. I don't want it.

我要给你，我不想要。

Lizzie

No, no, I ha-I have to give you something.

不，我得拿点东西给你。

Phoebe

Oh, that's fine, no.

不，不用了。

Lizzie

Would you like my tin-foil hat?

你要我的锡箔纸帽帽吗？

Phoebe

No. 'Cause you need that. No, it's okay, thanks.

不要，因为你需要它。不用了，谢谢。

Lizzie

Please, let me do something.

求你，让我表示我的谢意。

Phoebe

Okay, alright, you buy me a soda, and then we're even. Okay?

好，这样吧，你请我喝汽水，我们就扯平了，好吗？

Lizzie

Okay.

好吧。

Phoebe

Okay.

好吧。

Lizzie

Keep the change. (To Phoebe) Sure you don't wanna pretzel?

不用找了。（对菲比）你真的不要椒盐卷饼？

Phoebe

No, I'm fine.

不，不用了，谢谢。

Lizzie

(leaves) See ya.

（离开）再见。

(Phoebe opens the can and reacts.)

（菲比打开汽水罐，有反应。）

Phoebe

Huh!

啊？

Ross

A thumb?!

一个拇指？！

(Phoebe nods.)

（菲比点头。）

All

Eww!

呃！

Phoebe

I know! I know, I opened it up and there it was, just floating in there, like this tiny little hitch-hiker!

我知道！我打开时，它就浮在里面，像个搭便车的。

Chandler

Well, maybe it's a contest, y'know? Like, collect all five?

也许是一场竞赛，集满五个有奖？

Phoebe

Does, um, anyone wanna see?

你们想看看吗？

All

Nooo!

不！

(Chandler lights a cigarette.)

（钱德勒点烟。）

All

Oh, hey, don't do that! Cut it out!

嘿，别那样！拜托！

Rachel

It's worse than the thumb!

这比拇指更坏！

Chandler

Hey, this is so unfair!

嘿，这很不公平啊！

Monica

Oh, why is it unfair?

为何不公平？

Chandler

So I have a flaw! Big deal! Like Joey's constant knuckle-cracking isn't annoying? And Ross, with his over-pronouncing every single word? And Monica, with that snort when she laughs? I mean, what the hell is that thing? ...I accept all those flaws, why can't you accept me for this?

好，我有个缺点，怎么了？乔伊常扳指关节就不惹人厌？罗斯把每个音发得太清楚？莫妮卡大笑时的鼻音？搞什么嘛？！我接受大家所有的缺点，为什么大家就不肯接受我的这个缺点呢？

(An awkward silence ensues.)

（一阵尴尬的沉默。）

Joey

...Does the knuckle-cracking bother everybody?

扳指关节很惹人厌吗？

Rachel

Well, I-I could live without it.

我觉得有点点烦。

Joey

Well, is it, like, a little annoying, or is it like when Phoebe chews her hair?

那声音只是一点点惹人厌，还是像菲比咬她的头发一样惹人厌？

(Phoebe spits out her hair.)

（菲比吐出头发。）

Ross

Oh, now, don't listen to him, Pheebs, I think it's endearing.

菲比，别介意，我觉得那样很可爱。

Joey

Oh, (Imitating Ross) "you do, do you"?

（模仿罗斯）“哦，真的？是吗？”

(Monica laughs and snorts.)

（莫妮卡笑着发出鼻音。）

Ross

You know, there's nothing wrong with speaking correctly.

咬字清晰又不犯法。

Rachel

"Indeed there isn't"... I should really get back to work.

没错。我该回去工作了。

Phoebe

Yeah, 'cause otherwise someone might get what they actually ordered.

没错，否则有人就会拿到他们真正点的东西了。

Rachel

Ohh-ho-hooohhh. The hair comes out, and the gloves come on.

哦……全都发泄出来了。

(They degenerate into bickering and Chandler happily starts to smoke, undisturbed.)

（他们开始吵架，钱德勒高兴地抽烟，没人打扰。）

Monica

Did you ever go out with a guy your friends all really like?

你曾和一个你朋友都喜欢的男人约会吗？

Paula

No.

没有。

Monica

Okay.. Well, I'm going out with a guy my friends all really like.

好吧，我在和一个我朋友都喜欢的男人约会。

Paula

Waitwait.. we talking about the coyotes here? All right, a cow got through!

我们在谈郊狼吗？一头牛居然全身而退！

Monica

Can you believe it? ...Y'know what? I just don't feel the thing. I mean, they feel the thing, I don't feel the thing.

你能相信吗？你知道吗？我毫无感觉……他们有感觉，而我却毫无感觉！

Paula

Honey.. you should always feel the thing. Listen, if that's how you feel about the guy, Monica, dump him!

你应该要有感觉的啊！听着，如果你对他没感觉，就把他甩了呀！

Monica

I know.. it's gonna be really hard.

我知道，但很难。

Paula

Well, he's a big boy, he'll get over it.

没错，但他是大人了，他会熬过去的。

Monica

No, he'll be fine. It's the other five I'm worried about.

不，他没事。我担心的是其他五人。

Joey

Do you have any respect for your body?

难道你不尊重你的身体吗？

Ross

Don't you realise what you're-you're doing to yourself?

你不知道你在残害你的身体？

Chandler

Hey, y'know, I have had it with you guys and your cancer and your emphysema and your heart disease. The bottom line is, smoking is cool, and you know it.

我受够你们了，还有你们的癌症、肺气肿和心脏病。至少抽烟很酷，这点你们也很清楚。

Rachel

(holding the phone out to Chandler) Chandler? It's Alan, he wants to speak to you.

（把电话递给钱德勒）钱德，亚伦找你，他想和你说话。

Chandler

Really? He does? (taking the phone) Hey, buddy, what's up! Oh, she told you about that, huh. Well, yeah, I have one now and then. Well, yeah, now. Well, it's not that big- ..well, that's true,.. Gee, y'know, no-one- no-one's ever put it like that before. Well, okay, thanks! (He hands the phone back and stubs out his cigarette.)

真的？他找我？（接电话）老兄，什么事？她告诉你了？对，我偶尔会犯烟瘾。对，现在。没那么糟……这倒是真的。天啊，没人这么说过。好的，谢谢！（电话挂断，掐灭香烟。）

Rachel

(to Ross, who has wandered up) God, he's good.

（对走过来的罗斯）天啊，他真神。

Ross

If only he were a woman.

如果他是个女人那该有多好。

Rachel

Yeah.

是啊。

(They give each other a dubious look.)

（他们交换了一个怀疑的眼神。）

Chandler

Ooh, Lambchop. How old is that sock? If I had a sock on my hand for thirty years it'd be talking too.

哦，小羊排。那袜子到底有多旧了？如果我手上戴着袜子三十年，它也会开始说话了。

Ross

Okay. I think it's time to change somebody's nicotine patch. (Does so.)

有人该换尼古丁贴片了。（换贴片。）

Monica

(entering) Hey. Where's Joey?

（进来）嘿，乔伊在哪儿？

Chandler

Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. Do you think that was wrong?

乔伊吃了我的最后一片口香糖，所以我就把他杀了。你认为这样不对吗？

Rachel

I think he's across the hall.

我想他在对面。

Monica

Thanks. (Goes to fetch him.)

谢谢。（去叫他。）

Ross

(finishing changing Chandler's nicotine patch) There y'go.

（换完贴片）好啦。

Chandler

(deadpan) Ooh, I'm alive with pleasure now.

（面无表情）哦，我又重拾快乐的生活了。

Ross

Hey Pheebs, you gonna have the rest of that Pop-Tart?.. Pheebs?

嘿，菲比，你还想吃那个吗？菲比？

Phoebe

Does anyone want the rest of this Pop-Tart?

谁想吃剩下的？

Ross

Hey, I might!

我要！

Phoebe

Sorry. ..Y'know, those stupid soda people gave me seven thousand dollars for the thumb.

抱歉。汽水公司那些笨蛋，给我七千元当姆指的补偿金。

All

You're kidding. Oh my God.

天啊！七千元！别闹了！

Phoebe

And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. ...What is up with the universe?!

然后在来这的路上我又踩到口香糖了。这世界到底怎么了？

Joey

(dragged in by Monica, he has just gotten out of the shower) What's going on?

（被莫妮卡拉进来，刚洗完澡）怎么啦？

Monica

Nothing. I just think it's nice when we're all here together.

没什么，只是觉得大伙儿在一起很温馨。

Joey

Even nicer when everyone gets to wear their underwear..

如果大家都有穿内裤会更好。

Rachel

Uh, Joey..

乔伊，你那……

Joey

Oh, God! (Hurriedly closes his legs.)

天呀！（赶紧合拢腿。）

Monica

(turns off the TV) Okay..

（关掉电视）好……

All

Oh! That was Lambchop!

哦！那是小羊排！

Monica

Please, guys, we have to talk.

好了，大家，我们必须得谈谈。

Phoebe

Wait, wait, I'm getting a deja vu... no, I'm not.

等等，我有似曾相识的感觉……不，好像没有。

Monica

Alright, we have to talk.

好吧，我们需要谈谈。

Phoebe

There it is!

瞧，来了！

Monica

Okay. It's-it's about Alan. There's something that you should know. I mean, there's really no easy way to say this.. uh.. I've decided to break up with Alan.

是有关亚伦的事，有件事应该让你们知道。真的很难启齿……我决定和亚伦分手。

(They all gasp and clutch each other.)

（大家都倒吸一口气，抱在一起。）

Ross

Is there somebody else?

有第三者？

Monica

No, nononono.. it's just.. things change. People change.

没有……只是世事难料，人都会变。

Rachel

We didn't change..

我们没变啊。

Joey

So that's it? It's over? Just like that?

就这样……就这样结束了？就这样了？

Phoebe

You know.. you let your guard down, you start to really care about someone, and I just- I- (starts chewing her hair)

当你放下防御，真心对待一个人……

Monica

Look, I- I could go on pretending-

我可以继续伪装……

Joey

Okay!

好啊！

Monica

-but that wouldn't be fair to me, it wouldn't be fair to Alan- It wouldn't be fair to you!

不，这样对我不公平，对亚伦不公平，对你们大家也不公平！

Ross

Who-who wants fair? Y'know, I just want things back. Y'know, the way they were.

是吗？谁要公平？我只想要回失去的，回到往日。

Monica

I'm sorry..

我很抱歉。

Chandler

(sarcastic) Oh, she's sorry! I feel better!

（讽刺）哦，她说抱歉，我感觉好多了。

Rachel

(tearful) I just can't believe this! I mean, with the holidays coming up- I wanted him to meet my family-

（含泪）我真是不敢相信！假期就要来临了，我还想带他去见我的家人。

Monica

I'll meet someone else. There'll be other Alans.

我会找到新欢的，会有另一个亚伦。

All

Oh, yeah! Right!

是呀，另一个。

Monica

Are you guys gonna be okay?

你们不会有事吧？

Ross

Hey hey, we'll be fine. We're just gonna need a little time.

嘿，我们会好起来的，我们只是需要一点时间。

Monica

(dubious) I understand.

（怀疑）我了解。

Alan

Wow.

哇。

Monica

I'm, I'm really sorry.

我真的很抱歉。

Alan

Yeah, I'm sorry too. But, I gotta tell you, I am a little relieved.

我也很抱歉。但我得告诉你，我真的松了一口气。

Monica

Relieved?

松了一口气？

Alan

Yeah, well, I had a great time with you.. I just can't stand your friends.

对，我和你在一起很开心，只是我受不了你朋友。

Closing Credits

片尾

Rachel

Remember when we went to Central Park and rented boats?.. That was fun.

记得我们到中央公园划船吗？那真好玩。

Ross

Yeah. He could row like a viking.

是啊，他划得就像维京人一样。

Monica

(entering) Hi.

（进来）嗨。

All

Mmm.

嗯。

Ross

So how'd it go?

情况如何？

Monica

Oh, y'know..

嗯，你知道……

Phoebe

Did he mention us?

他有提到我们吗？

Monica

He said he's really gonna miss you guys. (dubious look)

他说他会想念你们的。（怀疑的表情）

Ross

You had a rough day, huh.. c'mere. (She sits down and Ross strokes her forehead.)

悲惨的一天？来……（她坐下，罗斯抚摸她的额头。）

Chandler

...That's it. I'm getting cigarettes.

我受够了，我要抽烟。

All

No no no!

不行！

Chandler

(leaving) I don't care, I don't care! Game's over! I'm weak! I've gotta smoke! I've gotta have the smoke!

（离开）我管不了那么多！我投降，我是懦夫，我要抽烟，我要抽烟！

Phoebe

(shouting as he leaves) If you never smoke again I'll give you seven thousand dollars!

（对着离开的他喊）如果你不再抽烟我就给你七千块！

Chandler

(returns) Yeah, alright.

（回来）好吧，没问题。

End

结束