The One With Rachel's Big Kiss

Rachel

Hey! Out of all of us, who do you think is gonna get married next?

嘿！我们这些人里，你觉得下一个结婚的人是谁？

Joey

Probably Monica and Chandler.

可能是莫妮卡和钱德。

(A woman walks up to Gunther in the background.)

（一个女人走到吧台前的甘瑟）

Woman

(to Gunther) Hi. Could I have a pack of Newport Lights, please?

（对甘瑟）嗨。我要一包纽宝牌香烟。

Gunther

Oh umm, uh we don't sell cigarettes, but they have them at the newsstand across the street. (Points.)

哦，嗯，我们不卖香烟，不过街对面的报摊上有。（指）

Woman

That'd be great, thanks.

那很好，谢谢。

(Gunther goes and gets them.)

（甘瑟去拿）

Rachel

(to the gang) Oh my God, Melissa Warburton. I don't think I have the energy for this.

（对大家）哦天啊，梅丽莎·沃伯顿。我可没什么精神准备。

Melissa

(Gasps when she notices Rachel) Oh my God! Ray-ray Green?! (Screams)

（看到瑞秋时倒吸一口气）哦天啊！瑞瑞·格林？！（尖叫）

Rachel

(screaming) Melissa!

（尖叫）梅丽莎！

Melissa

You have been M.I.A for the past seven sorority newsletters, what's up with you?!

过去的7次女生联谊会简报你都像失踪了一样，你怎么样？

Rachel

Wh---(Turns and looks at the gang who's staring)---Why don't I tell you over here? (She walks Melissa away from the gang.)

什——（转身看到大家都盯着）——我们到那边聊吧。（她带梅丽莎离开大家）

Melissa

So last I heard you were gonna get married. (Grabs Rachel's hand and notices that she doesn't have a ring on.) (Sadly) Oh poor Ray-ray.

我最后一次听说你，是你要结婚了。（抓住瑞秋的手，注意到她没有戒指）（难过地）哦，可怜的瑞瑞。

Rachel

Oh no-no, no! It's good! It's all good! I-I actually work at Ralph Lauren!

哦，不不，不！这很好！一切都很好！实际上我现在在拉尔夫·劳伦公司上班！

Melissa

Shut up!

别说了！

Rachel

I will not! I'm the divisional head of men's sportswear!

我不会！我是运动男装部的领导！

Melissa

Oh shut up more! Now, are you friends with Ralph?

哦，别再说了！现在，你已经是拉尔夫的朋友了？

Rachel

Oh please...

哦，拜托……

Melissa

(excitedly) Are you?!

（兴奋地）是吗？

Rachel

No.

不是。

Melissa

Listen, we-we have to have dinner. What-what are you doing tomorrow night?

听着，我-我们应该一起吃晚饭。明天晚上你有什么事吗？

Rachel

Oh tomorrow, oh I don't know. Um...

哦明天，哦我不知道。嗯……

Melissa

You do now. You're having dinner with me.

现在你知道了。你和我一起吃晚饭。

Rachel

Shut up.

别说了。

Melissa

I-I've got to go. This has been so great Ray-ray! (Gunther returns with her cigarettes.) Oh, there you are. (Takes them from Gunther.) (To Rachel) Umm, so listen, just call me. Here's my card. (Hands the card over.)

我-我得走了。这真是太好了，瑞瑞！（甘瑟拿着香烟回来）哦，买来了。（从甘瑟手中接过）（对瑞秋）嗯，听着，给我打电话。这是我的名片。（递过名片）

Rachel

Oh, wow thanks! (Reading the card) Oh you're in real estate!

哦，哇谢谢！（读名片）哦，你在搞房地产！

Melissa

Oh no, that's-that's an old card. Umm, I wanted to get out of that and-and do something where I can really help people and-and make a difference.

哦不，那-那是过去用的名片。嗯，我想离开这个行业，做一些真正能帮助人们、而且有些不一样的事情。

Rachel

Wow! What do you do now?

哇！那现在你做什么？

Melissa

(quietly) I'm a party planner. I'll see you tomorrow. (Exits.)

（小声地）我策划聚会。明天见。（离开）

Rachel

Okay! (Joins the rest of the gang.)

好！（回到大家身边）

Joey

Hey guys! Look who's back! It's Ray-ray!

嘿大家！看看谁回来了！是瑞瑞！

Rachel

Shut up that was my friend Melissa from college.

闭嘴，那是我大学的同学梅丽莎。

Ross

She seems really, really fun!

她看起来非常非常有意思！

Rachel

She's actually very sweet and we used to be very close.

她实际上很可爱，我们原来一度很亲密。

Monica

Wait a minute, she isn't...

等一等，她是不是……

Joey

(excitedly) Who you what? Who you what?!

（兴奋地）和你什么？和你什么？！

Rachel

(To Monica) Yes.

（对莫妮卡）是。

Monica

Wow!

喔！

Joey

(excitedly) Wow? Wow what?! Wow what?! Who you---what?!!

（兴奋地）喔？喔什么？！喔什么？！和你——什么？！

Rachel

It's not a big deal!

没什么大不了的！

Monica

(To Joey) They were lovers.

（对乔伊）她们是爱人。

Ross

What?!

什么？！

Joey

What?!

什么？！

Rachel

No we weren't! It was nothing! It was one night, senior year we went to a party, had a lot of sangria and y'know, ended up...kissing for a bit.

不，我们不是！没有什么！只是一个晚上，我们毕业那年一起去聚会，喝多了甜酒，你知道，最后……亲了一下嘴。

Ross

So that's two of my wives.

那么我已经有过两个同性恋妻子了。

Opening Credits

片头

Monica

(telling Chandler the seating arrangement) Okay so this is where the band is. (Points.) And this is where the bar is. (Points) And all these pins have people's names on them. (She has pins to show the seating at each of the tables.) And Rach, here you are. (Points to Rachel's place.)

（告诉钱德勒座位安排）好，乐队在这儿。（指）酒吧在这儿。（指）这些针上面有出席的人的名字。（她用针来标示每桌的座位）瑞秋，你在这儿。（指瑞秋的位置）

Rachel

Oh wow. Why don't we just take me (Grabs her pin) and put me with a Manhattan in my hand, talking to the cute bartender. (Puts her pin at the bar and laughs. Monica just glares at her.) These pins aren't for playing are they?

哦。为什么不把我（抓起她的针）放到这里，手里拿着曼哈顿鸡尾酒，和可爱的男招待聊天呢。（把针放在酒吧处，笑了。莫妮卡只是瞪着她）这些针不是用来玩的，对吧？

Monica

(To Chandler) Okay, the red ones are my guests and the blue ones are yours.

（对钱德勒）好了，红色的是我的客人，蓝色的是你的。

Chandler

This is so sad. I mean, I only have like ten pins.

这太悲哀了。我是说，我只有大约10根针。

Monica

Chandler, relax it's not a contest. (To Rachel) Certainly not a close one.

钱德，放轻松，这不是比赛。（对瑞秋）实力相差太悬殊。

Joey

(entering) Hello!

（走进来）你们好啊！

Rachel

Hey!

嗨！

Joey

Hey Rach. (Stares at her.)

嗨，瑞秋。（盯着她）

Rachel

Stop picturing it!!

别再想了！！

Monica

Okay, I think that's it. The seating chart is done. This is our wedding. They all look like they're having fun don't they?

好吧，我想就这样吧。座位都确定了。这就是我们的婚礼。他们看上去都很高兴，对吧？

Joey

Hey, so where are my parents gonna be?

嘿，那我父母会在哪儿？

Monica

Oh! (Gets up) Let's see, well...if this is the wedding hall then umm (Walks away) you're parents will be at home in Queens.

哦！（站起来）我们看看，那么……如果这是婚礼大厅，嗯（走开）你父母会在皇后区的家里。

Joey

What they're not invited?! Oh no, that's terrible! They're gonna be crushed!

什么，他们没被邀请？！哦不，这太可怕了！他们会发疯的！

Monica

Why would they think they're invited?

为什么他们觉得会被邀请？

Joey

(looking around) You got me. I don't...

（环顾四周）你问倒我了。我不……

Monica

Joey!

乔伊！

Joey

Well, I'm sorry. I thought parents were coming! Y'know? Your parents are comin'! Chandler's parents are comin'! Ross's parents are comin'!

好吧，对不起。我想父母应该来！你知道？你父母要来！钱德的父母要来！罗斯的父母要来！

Monica

Ross's parents are my parents!

罗斯的父母就是我的父母！

Joey

Well-well---see? Parents are comin'!

好-好，看到了？父母都会来！

Chandler

Y'know I think we should invite them.

我想我们应该邀请他们。

Monica

Oh please, you just want more blue pins.

算了吧，你只是想多几根蓝针而已。

Chandler

Well this is just sad!

这就是悲哀！

Monica

All right, all right. Maybe I can fit them in if I just do some rearranging. But uh, Rachel may actually have to sit at the bar!

好吧，好吧。也许我重新安排一下可以让他们来。但是，嗯，瑞秋你可能真的要坐在酒吧了！

Rachel

That is not a problem.

没问题。

Joey

(leaning down to her) Maybe you'll order a little sangria?

（俯身对她说）也许你想要点甜酒？

Rachel

Oh, get out of here! (Jumps back and walks away.)

哦，快滚吧！（跳起来走开）

Rachel

(motioning to a rack) So now, these are all the tuxedos that we make and if there's anything that you like, we can make you a deal. Anything at all. (Grabs a few) But these are the three that Monica pre-approved.

（指向衣架）那么，这些都是我们做的晚礼服，如果你喜欢哪一件，我们可以给你优惠。任选一件。（拿起几件）但是这三件是莫妮卡已经认可的。

Chandler

Well, thanks a lot for hookin' me up Rach. I want you to know that I want you to attend our wedding as my guest.

好吧，谢谢你帮我挑晚礼服，瑞秋。我希望你作为我的客人出席婚礼。

Rachel

I'm Monica's maid of honor. Okay? Don't try to blue pin me!

我是莫妮卡的伴娘。好吗？别想把我钉在蓝色的针上！

Chandler

(sees another rack) Well, what's the deal with these? These-these look nice.

（看到另一个衣架）嗯，这些怎么样？看起来不错。

Rachel

Oh they are nice. We-we custom-make tuxedos for celebrities and then when they're done with them they just send 'em back.

哦，这些是很好。我们为一些名人定制晚礼服，他们用完了以后，就送回来。

Chandler

You mean like for award shows?

你是说就象颁奖典礼上用的？

Rachel

Some of them.

有些是。

Chandler

You mean these tuxes have been down the red carpet with people yelling, "You are you wearing?! You look fabulous!"

你是说，这些晚礼服曾经走过红地毯，人们大喊“你穿的是谁的衣服？！你看起来太惊人了！”

Rachel

Honey, might I suggest watching a little more ESPN and a little less E!?

亲爱的，我建议你多看看体育频道，少看看娱乐频道。

Chandler

Okay, who wore those? (Points to the tuxedos.)

好吧，谁穿过这些？（指向晚礼服）

Rachel

Umm, well let's see uh, this one is Tom Brokaw.

嗯，我们看看，呃，这件是汤姆·布罗考。

Chandler

Not bad.

不错。

Rachel

(reading a tag) This one is uh Paul O'Neil.

（读标签）这件是呃保罗·奥尼尔。

Chandler

Who's that?

他是谁？

Rachel

He plays for the Yankees.

他是扬基队的。

Chandler

Seriously, ESPN! Just once and a while, have it on in the background. (Chandler nods and Rachel grabs another tux) Ooh, this one was Pierce Brosnan!

真的，看体育频道！时不时地，在背景里放一放。（钱德勒点头，瑞秋抓起另一件晚礼服）哦，这件是皮尔斯·布鲁斯南的！

Chandler

Pierce Brosnan?

皮尔斯·布鲁斯南？

Rachel

Uh-huh.

嗯。

Chandler

Are you serious?

当真？

Rachel

Yeah.

对。

Chandler

007?! This is James Bond's tux?!

007？！这是詹姆斯·邦德的晚礼服？！

Rachel

Yeah.

对。

Chandler

Oh, I have to get married in James Bond's tux!

哦，我要穿着詹姆斯·邦德的晚礼服结婚！

Rachel

It's a pretty cool tux.

这是件很酷的晚礼服。

Chandler

Oh, it's not just that, I would be England's most powerful weapon. Jet setting heartbreaker on her majesty's secret service. A man who fears no one; with a license to kill. (Worried.) Would Monica let me wear this?

哦，不仅仅是这样，我会成为全英最强有力的武器。让美女心碎的喷气机，女皇陛下的密使。无所畏惧的男人，身怀杀人执照。（担心地）莫妮卡会让我穿这件吗？

Joey

We should really learn how to play the real way. (Moves another piece.)

我们真应该学学真正的玩法。（移动另一个棋子）

Phoebe

I like our way. Oh! (Grabs a piece and jumps a bunch of Joey's like in Checkers.) Chess!

我喜欢我们的玩法。哦！（拿起一个棋子像下跳棋一样跳过乔伊的一堆棋子）国际象棋！

Joey

Nice move.

好棋。

Phoebe

Yeah.

对。

Rachel

(entering) Hey!

（走进来）嗨！

Joey

Hey!

嗨！

Phoebe

Hey!

嗨！

Rachel

So Joey I just hooked Ross and Chandler up with some tuxedos for the wedding, do you need one?

乔伊，我刚帮罗斯和钱德为婚礼挑了晚礼服，你要不要来一件？

Joey

No, I'm performing the ceremony. I'm not wearing a tux.

不要，我要主持他们的典礼。我不穿晚礼服。

Rachel

Well, what are you going to wear?

那你打算穿什么？

Joey

Multi-colored robes! Ooh, and maybe a hat.

五彩长袍！哦，也许再戴个帽子。

Rachel

Huh. Does Monica know about this?

哈，莫妮卡知道吗？

Joey

I don't think so.

我想她不知道。

Rachel

Can I please be there when you tell her? (Joey nods yes.)

你告诉她的时候我能在场吗？（乔伊点头）

Phoebe

Hey oh, Rach wait! Do you want to go to a movie tonight?

嘿，瑞秋，等等！今天晚上看电影去吗？

Rachel

Oh, y'know what? I can't. I have to have dinner with that Melissa girl.

哦，你知道吗？我去不了。我得跟梅丽莎吃晚饭。

Joey

(excitedly) Can I come?! I won't even talk! You'll just hear the noise from my video camera.

（兴奋地）我能去吗？！我不会出声的！你最多只会听到我摄像机的声音。

Phoebe

What is this? What's going on?

怎么了？怎么回事？

Joey

Oh good! Can I tell her?! Can I tell her?!

哦，好！能让我来告诉她吗？！能让我来告诉她吗？！

Rachel

Well, do you want to hear what actually happened or Joey's lewd version?

好吧，你想听实际发生的，还是乔伊的下流版本？

Phoebe

Joey's!

乔伊的！

Joey

Okay...

好……

Rachel

Hey, come on! I had this friend from college and I made the stupid mistake of telling Joey that one time...she and I y'know...kissed a little bit.

嘿，拜托！我有个大学里的朋友，我犯了个愚蠢的错误，告诉乔伊有一次……她和我……你知道……亲了一下嘴。

Phoebe

(laughs) Yeah, I'm sure that happened.

（笑）对，这当然发生了。

Rachel

It-it did!

它-它发生了！

Phoebe

Sure!

当然！

Joey

Hey. (Laughs then seriously) It happened!

嘿。（笑然后严肃）这发生了！

Rachel

Yeah, it was senior year in college. It was after the Sigma Chi luau and Melissa and I got very drunk! And we ended up kissing! For several minutes!

对，是我大学毕业那年。是一次ΣΧ夏威夷舞会以后，梅丽莎和我喝得大醉！最后我们接吻了！足足有好几分钟！

Phoebe

(To Joey) Which means she had a couple spritzers and a quick peck on the cheek.

（对乔伊）也就是喝了几杯汽酒，在脸颊上轻轻地亲了一下。

Joey

Why are you taking this away from me?

为什么把我美好的想象都打破了？

Rachel

Yeah, why is it so hard for you to believe?!

是啊，为什么你就不相信呢？！

Phoebe

Okay! I just---I didn't know that you are a lesbian. (Joey smiles and nods lewdly.)

好吧！我只是……我不知道你是同性恋。（乔伊猥琐地笑着点头）

Rachel

I'm not saying that I'm a lesbian! I'm just saying that this happened!

我没说我是同性恋！我只是说这发生了！

Phoebe

Okay, it just seems pretty wild and you're so---y'know so...vanilla.

好吧，这事太疯狂了，而你……你知道……太……乏味。

Rachel

(shocked) Vanilla?!

（震惊）乏味？！

Phoebe

Yeah.

对。

Rachel

I'm not vanilla! I've done lots of crazy things! I mean I got-I got drunk and married in Vegas!

我不乏味！我干了好多疯狂的事！我是说，我在维加斯喝醉了嫁了人！

Phoebe

To Ross.

嫁给罗斯。

Rachel

All right, y'know what? If you don't want to believe me about this, why don't you just come with me to dinner tonight and she will tell you.

好吧，你知道吗？要是你真的不相信我说的，今晚你跟我一起去和她吃晚饭，她会告诉你的。

Phoebe

Okay! All right! Yeah! 'Cause I just can't picture it.

好吧！好！是啊，因为我就是无法想象这事。

Joey

Oh-ho, you should get inside my head.

哦哦，你应该到我的脑子里去。

Ross

Hey! Guess what I got for your wedding! (Holding up his garment bag.)

嘿！猜猜我为你的婚礼找到了什么！（举起衣袋）

Chandler

A freakish thin date with a hanger for her head?

一个脑袋上有衣架的畸形女友？

Ross

No. Rachel hooked me up with a tux! But not just any tux, Batman's tux!

不。瑞秋帮我找了件晚礼服！但不是一般的晚礼服，蝙蝠侠的晚礼服！

Chandler

What?

什么？

Ross

That's right! Made expressly for Val Kilmer and worn by him in the hit film...that Batman film he was in.

对了！这件晚礼服是给瓦尔·基尔默在电影中用的……那部蝙蝠侠电影，就是他演的。

Chandler

You can't wear that! I'm wearing the famous tux! James Bond's tux!

你不能穿那个！我穿了著名的晚礼服！詹姆斯·邦德的晚礼服！

Ross

So?

那么？

Chandler

So---If you wear that you'll make mine less special.

那么——如果你穿那个，我就不那么特别了。

Ross

Well, you need something to make this day special? Hello! You-you-you have the most special thing of all! You are marrying the woman you love.

你需要什么东西让那天变得特别吗？嘿！你-你有最特别的一件事啊！你要娶你心爱的女人。

(Chandler mimics him.)

（钱德勒模仿他）

Chandler

Please, don't take away my cool thing. Please?! Pretty please?!

求求你，别把让我扮不成酷。求你了！求求你了？！

Ross

Pretty please? Not very uh, 007.

求求我？这可不象007。

Chandler

Look, it's my wedding day okay? If you were getting married I would never do anything to upset you.

看，这是我的结婚日，对吧？如果结婚的是你，我就不会做任何让你生气的事。

Ross

When I got married you slept with my sister.

我结婚那天你睡了我的妹妹。

Chandler

That was pretty 007.

这象007了吧。

Joey

Hey.

嗨。

Monica

Hey. Oh good-good you're here! All right, I figured it out. I'm gonna take two tables of eight, I'm gonna add your parents, and I'm gonna turn them into three tables of six. Okay? And I called the caterer; I added two extra meals, we are good to go!

嗨。嘿，太好了你在这儿！好了，我已经算好了。我要撤掉两个八人桌，把你父母加进去，换成三个六人桌。好了吧？我还给宴会负责人打了电话，加了两份餐，我们已经准备好了！

Joey

Yeah, they're not coming.

很好，不过他们不来了。

Monica

(looking at him) What?!

（看着他）什么？！

Joey

Somehow they got the idea that you only invited them because of me. They...feel a little unwanted.

不知道为什么，他们觉得你邀请他们是因为我。他们……有点觉得自己是多余的。

Monica

Oh that's too bad. It's true, but too bad.

哦，这太糟了。这是事实，不过太糟了。

Joey

Look Mon, if you could just call my mom...

你看莫妮卡，如果你给我妈妈打个电话……

Monica

Oh Joey!

哦，乔伊！

Joey

Come on! Look just-just tell---let her know that you really want them to be there. Let's not forget, this is a woman that has sent you many lasagnas over the years.

拜托！只是打个电话。告诉她你真心希望他们去。别忘了，这可是每年都给你送烤面条的女人。

Monica

No she hasn't.

不，她没有。

Joey

Is it her fault that some of them didn't make it to you?

没人给你送难道是她的错？

Monica

Well, what am I going to say?

好吧，我应该怎么说？

Joey

I don't know. Just uh, just tell 'em it was a mix-up with the invitations, or---No-no-no! Blame it on the post office. They hate the post office. And the Irish! But I don't think you can blame it on them so... (He dials the phone and hands it to Monica.)

我不知道。就说嗯，就是请柬弄混了，或者……不不不！抱怨邮局。他们讨厌邮局。还有爱尔兰人！但是我觉得你没法怪他们，所以……（他拨通电话，把话筒递给莫妮卡）

Monica

(on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah I'm just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. (Listens) Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent weren't delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)

（打电话）喂？（听）对，嗨！崔比昂尼太太？（听）嗨，我是莫妮卡·盖勒。（听）对，我只是想说钱德和我嗯，真的希望你们能来参加婚礼。（听）对，显然有一捆我们的请柬没有送到。嗯，我猜出错的一定是那该死的邮局！（乔伊点头赞许）（听）跟我说说这个！（听）对，对，联邦邮局？不，不如说是联邦丢局！（听）什么，他们是爱尔兰人吗？！（乔伊竖起大拇指）

Melissa

...anyway, his name is Allan and we've been going out for three years. He was my first client when I became a party planner. He was planning a party for his girlfriend at the time. Oh well. (Rachel and Phoebe politely laugh) And he was Theta Beta Pi at Syracuse.

……总之，他叫爱伦，我们交往3年了。他是我当聚会策划人的第一个客户。当时是给他的女朋友策划聚会。哦。（瑞秋和菲比礼貌地笑）他是锡拉库扎大学的ΘΒΠ联谊会的。

Rachel

Oh. Oh, that's great!

哦。哦，这太棒了！

Melissa

Hmm Phoebe, were you ever in a sorority?

嗯，菲比，你参加过女生联谊会吗？

Phoebe

Of course! Yeah, I was uh, umm Thigh Mega Tampon.

当然！我参加过，嗯……Thigh Mega Tampon（大腿止血棉球）。

Melissa

What one?

什么？

Phoebe

Yeah! Y'know, we were really huge too, but then they had to shut us down when Regina Philange died of alcohol poisoning.

对！我们规模也很大，但是他们把我们解散了，因为雷吉娜·弗兰吉死于酒精中毒。

Melissa

Oh, isn't a shame when one girl ruins it for the whole bunch? (Phoebe agrees by grunting.)

哦，因为一个女孩就出事，把别人也都牵连了，真是丢脸。（菲比哼了一声表示同意）

Rachel

(changing the subject) Anyway, speaking of drinking too much. I was uh, tellin' Phoebe about that one crazy night after the Sigma Chi luau where you and I uh, we made out.

（转移话题）好了，醉话说的太多了。我跟菲比说了那次ΣΧ夏威夷舞会以后的疯狂事，就是我们俩来电那次。

Melissa

(shocked) What?

（震惊）什么？

Rachel

Remember?! We---come on both had the sarongs on, and we had the-the coconut bikini tops...

记得吗？我们？拜托，我们都穿着土著裙子，还有椰子比基尼上装……

Melissa

Yeah?

啊？

Rachel

...we went back the house and we got really silly and we...we made out.

……我们回到房子，真是愚蠢，我们……我们来电了。

Melissa

Oh wow, Ray-ray I have no idea what you're talking about.

哦喔，瑞瑞，我不知道你在说什么。

Phoebe

Really?!

真的？！

Commercial Break

广告插播

Chandler

Ross is Batman!

罗斯是蝙蝠侠！

Monica

Well, he did manage to keep his identity secret for a long time.

哦，他把这个秘密保守的时间可够长的。

Chandler

Rachel got Ross the tuxedo that Val Kilmer wore in Batman. Okay Batman is so much cooler than James Bond!

瑞秋给罗斯弄来的晚礼服，是瓦尔·基尔默在蝙蝠侠里穿的。蝙蝠侠可比詹姆斯·邦德酷多了！

Monica

What are you talking about?! 007 has all those gadgets!

你在说什么啊？！007有好多新式武器！

Chandler

Batman has a utility belt!

蝙蝠侠有多功能腰带！

Monica

007 has a fancy car!

007有特制的汽车！

Chandler

Batman has the Batmobile!

蝙蝠侠有蝙蝠车！

Monica

007 gets all the ladies.

007总是有美女相伴。

Chandler

Batman has Robin! (Pause) We get ESPN right?

蝙蝠侠有罗宾！（停顿）我们有体育频道吧？

Monica

How about you go put on your 007 tuxedo and I'll make you a nice martini.

不如你穿上007的晚礼服，我给你弄点马提尼酒。

Chandler

Actually, I don't like martinis.

实际上，我不喜欢马提尼酒。

Monica

How about a Youhoo with a funny straw?

那Youhoo酒加上麦杆呢？

Chandler

Ooh, yum! (Runs into the bedroom.)

哦，好啊！（跑进卧室）

Joey

(entering) Hey.

（走进来）嗨。

Monica

Hey.

嗨。

Joey

Listen, I know the invitation says 6:00, but does that mean that you want people to get there at six, or the show is gonna start right at six?

听着，我知道请柬上写着6点，但是是说希望大家6点到，还是演出6点开始？

Monica

The show?!

演出？！

Joey

Right. Right. The wedding, gotcha. But I mean, it's gonna start a little late right? I mean, weddings start late. Right?

好吧。好吧。婚礼，明白。但是，能不能开始得稍微晚一点？我是说，婚礼晚一点进行，行吗？

Monica

Have you ever been to one of my weddings?

你参加过我的婚礼吗？

Joey

Ah. Yeah. Well look, the thing is it's the same day as my niece's christening and I really want my parents to be there in time to see me. 'Cause my part's just in the beginning I'm not even in the rest of the show---Wedding!

啊。你看，事情是这样的。这天是我外甥女的洗礼，而且我真的希望我父母能及时赶到见到我。因为我的角色是在开始部分，演出的其他部分没我什么事。——婚礼！

Monica

The wedding starts at six.

婚礼6点开始。

Joey

Okay. Okay, I totally hear ya. Oo how about this? I vamp a little 'til they get there?

好，好，我完全明白。哦，那这样如何？在他们来之前我搞个小节目？

Monica

You'll vamp?!

你搞个节目？！

Joey

Yeah! Yeah y'know, like warm up the crowd. Ask 'em where they're from. 'Cause in Joey Tribbiani you get a minister and you get an entertainer. I'm a minis-tainer! (Rapping) There is no one better! There is no one greater!

对！就象给大家热热身。问问他们是从哪里来的。因为得到了乔伊·崔比昂尼，你就得倒了一个牧师和一个演员。我是个表演牧师！（说唱）没有更好，没有更棒的了！

Rachel

How can you not remember us kissing?!

你怎么能不记得我们接吻了？！

Melissa

I don't know. I don't remember a lot of things that never happened.

我不知道。我不记得好多没发生过的事。

Rachel

Wh... Come on! Remember? We were on the sleeping porch! We couldn't stop giggling? And our coconuts kept knockin' together?

什……拜托！记得吗？我们在卧室外的走廊！我们无法停止傻笑？我们的椰子相互敲击？

Phoebe

Oh, somewhere Joey's head is exploding.

哦，乔伊的脑袋该爆炸了。

Rachel

Yeah---but come on---Listen, I'm sorry I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but I told Phoebe that it happened and she doesn't believe me.

对吧？听着，我很抱歉，我不想让你难堪，不过我告诉菲比这发生了，可她不相信我。

Melissa

I'm sorry Ray-ray. I mean if I thought it happened I would say it. Maybe I passed out and you did stuff to me while I was sleeping.

对不起，瑞瑞。我是说如果这发生了，我会说的。也许你是在我睡着了以后亲了我。

Rachel

No!!

不！！

Phoebe

Rachel, it's okay. You don't have to do this. I believe you. All right? Okay, if-if you say that you kissed Melissa, then you kissed Melissa.

瑞秋，放轻松。你不用这么做。我相信你。好吗？好吧，如果你说你亲了梅丽莎，那么你就是亲了她。

Rachel

Thank you Phoebe.

谢谢你，菲比。

Melissa

She didn't.

她没有。

Phoebe

I know.

我知道。

Ross

Hey!

嗨！

Monica

You just carry that around?

你到哪儿都带着它？

Ross

Yes. I find it to be something of a conversation piece.

对。我发现这可以成为我炫耀的资本。

Monica

Between you and...

向谁？

Ross

Gunther. (To Chandler) Hey-hey! Why don't we put them on? Y'know get a picture of Batman and James Bond together.

甘瑟。（对钱德勒）嘿嘿！我们把晚礼服都穿上吧，来张照片，那就是蝙蝠侠和詹姆斯·邦德站在一起。

Chandler

I would but mine doesn't fit. The pants are a little tight.

我想呢，可我的不合适。裤子有点紧。

Monica

A little tight? I could see double-oh and seven in those pants.

有点紧？我可以从裤子上看出两个0和一个7。

Ross

Well that stinks. I was looking forward to us wearing our celebrity tuxes together.

好吧，那很烂。我本来希望我们一起穿上名人的晚礼服呢。

Chandler

Well, does that mean that you're not going to wearing yours?

好，你是不是说，你不打算穿你这件参加婚礼了？

Ross

What are you kidding? It's Batman's tux!!

什么，你开什么玩笑？这是蝙蝠侠的晚礼服！！

Chandler

(standing up) Let me try it on!

（站起来）我穿上试试！

Ross

Okay, but just the jacket. Double-oh and seven are not gettin' in there.

好吧，不过只能穿上衣。两个0和一个7不会到这里。

Chandler

(trying on the jacket) Okay. Holy double-vented comfort Batman! (Finds something in the pocket) What's this?

（试穿上衣）好。蝙蝠侠还真是舒服啊！（从口袋里发现东西）这是什么？

Ross

What?

什么？

Chandler

An invitation for the At First Sight premiere? Oh my God! Val Kilmer didn't wear this in Batman! He wore it to the premiere of some tooty-fruity love story where he played a blind guy!

电影《一见钟情》首映式的请柬？哦天啊！瓦尔·基尔默没有在蝙蝠侠里面穿这个！他穿这个演了个无聊的爱情故事，演的是个瞎子！

Ross

Let me see that! (Grabs the invitation and reads it.) Oh man!

让我看看！（抢过请柬读起来）哦，老兄！

Chandler

The only superpower you have is a slightly heightened sense of smell. (Hands him the jacket and walks away.)

你唯一超过常人的能力，就是嗅觉发达。（把上衣还给他，走开）

Joey

(entering) Hey! Uh, Monica? Chandler? Can I talk to you guys for a second?

（走进来）嗨！嗯，莫妮卡？钱德？我能跟你们说句话吗？

Monica

All right that's it, I give up! Whatever you want you can have it! You wanna sing a song? You wanna do a dance? You want your mom stand at the Alter and scream racial slurs? I don't care!

好吧，到此为止，我服了！无论你想怎么干都行！你打算唱歌？你打算跳舞？你想让你妈妈站在圣坛前大喊种族歧视的话？我不在乎！

Joey

No! No, I-I just wanna thank you guys for what you did for my parents, that was really sweet. They're so happy they get to be a part of your special day.

不！不，我-我只是想谢谢你们对我父母做的，真是太好了。他们非常高兴成为你们大喜之日的一员。

Monica

(defeated) Oh.

（无奈地）哦。

Chandler

Well, you're welcome. And tell them we're really glad they're coming.

好，不用客气。告诉他们，他们能来我们真的很高兴。

Joey

Okay. I will. Ohh! Check out what they got me to wear for the ceremony! (Runs to his apartment and returns wearing a rather silly hat.) Huh? I wear it like this when I marry you guys, and then this (He tilts it to the side of his head) is for party time.

好。我会的。哦！看看他们为我的庆典，给了我什么！（跑到他的公寓，戴着一顶很傻的帽子回来）啊？你们结婚的时候我这么戴，而这么戴（他把帽子歪到一边）就是舞会时间。

Rachel

It happened! I am telling you it happened!

这发生了！我告诉你这发生了！

Melissa

Okay. (To Phoebe) Well, it was great meeting you. And uh Rachel, I-I don't think I'll be calling you (hails a cab) because umm, y'know you've gotten weird. (The cab pulls up.) Take care you guys. (She's about to get in when...)

好。（对菲比）好，很高兴见到你。呃，瑞秋，我-我想我不会给你打电话了，因为嗯，你知道你变的怪怪的。（出租车停下）你们保重。（她正要上车……）

Rachel

What?! Wait a minute! No wait a minute! (She does so.) Okay? Look, that night was the one wild thing I have ever done in my entire life, and I'm not gonna let you take that away from me! Okay, so if you don't remember that, maybe you will remember this! (She grabs Melissa and kisses her on the lips.)

什么？！等等！等等！（她停下来）好吗？听着，那一晚的事是我这辈子里干的最疯狂的事了，我不会让你这么轻易就否认！好吧，那么如果你不记得那个，也许你会记得这个！（她抓住梅丽莎，吻了她的嘴唇）

Melissa

My God! You love me!

天啊！你爱我！

Rachel

(shocked) What?

（震惊）什么？

Melissa

Of course I remember our kiss. I think about it all the time. I can still hear the coconuts knockin' together I... (Phoebe is shocked.) I just didn't want to tell you 'cause I didn't think that you'd return my love, and now that you have... (Leans in to kiss Rachel.)

我当然记得那个吻。我每时每刻都在想着。我现在仍然能够听到椰子的碰撞声……（菲比震惊）我只是不想对你说，因为我不知道你对我的爱有什么反应，而现在你……（凑过去吻瑞秋）

Rachel

(moving away) Whoa! Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

（躲开）喔！喔-喔-喔-喔！喔！喔！

Melissa

Aww, look who's being suddenly shy. You can't tell me you don't feel what I feel. Nobody can kiss that good and not mean it. (Goes in again.)

啊，看看谁开始害羞了。别告诉我你感觉和我不一样。没人能接吻这样棒还没有一点感觉。（再次凑过去）

Rachel

(moves away again) I-I-I-I'm just...I'm just a good kisser!

（再次躲开）我-我只是……我只是个接吻高手！

Melissa

(suddenly frightened) Shut up!

（突然害怕）别说了！

Rachel

I'm sorry!

我很抱歉！

Melissa

(laughs) Oh you don't have to be (Laughs again) sorry. I'm...I'm obviously kidding. I'm not in love with you. (To Phoebe) I'm not in love with her. I don't hear coconuts banging together. Yeah, I don't...picture your face when I make love to my boyfriend. Anyway, I gotta go. Eh...kiss good-bye? (Rachel stares at her stunned.) No? Okay. (Hurries into the cab and drives off.)

（笑）哦，你不用（又笑）抱歉。我……我明显是开玩笑。我并不爱你。（对菲比）我并不爱她。我没听到椰子的碰撞声。对，我没有……在和我男朋友做爱的时候，把他想象成你。不管怎样，我得走了。嗯……来个吻别？（瑞秋目瞪口呆地盯着她）不？好吧。（匆忙钻进出租车开走）

Rachel

Wow! I mean I had no idea that that was gonna...

喔！我没想到会是这样……

(Suddenly, Phoebe leans in and kisses her on the lips!)

（突然，菲比凑过来吻了她的嘴唇！）

Rachel

What the hell was that?!

你这是干什么？！

Phoebe

I just wanted to see what all the fuss was about.

我只是想看看有什么大不了的。

Rachel

And?

那么？

Phoebe

I've had better.

我有过更好的。

Ending Credits

片尾

Chandler

(yelling from the changing room) All right! I found one that fits!

（在更衣室里喊）好了！我找到一件合适的！

Rachel

Well y'know what they say, the 23rd time's the charm. (Chandler enters.) Aww, look at you all handsome!

怪不得他们说，第23次是有魔力的。（钱德勒走出来）哦，看你多帅！

Chandler

Whose is it?

是谁的？

Rachel

Oh does it matter?! All that matters is that you look so handsome.

哦，这很重要吗？！重要的是你看起来很帅。

Chandler

Whose is it?

是谁的？

Rachel

I don't want to say.

我不想说。

Chandler

Oh, come on! I don't care! Come on! Whose is it?

哦，拜托！我不在乎！是谁的？

Rachel

Diane Keaton.

黛安·姬顿。

End

结束